05x10 - Donatello's Duplicate

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There. It's finished.

Congratulations,
Donatello.

Exactly what
is finished?

My latest invention,
Master Splinter.

I call it a Healthometer.

You just stick your finger
in this hole, and voilà.

It gives an instant reading
of your present condition.

I see you're
in excellent health.

It's as accurate
as a medical exam,

and a whole lot
less embarrassing.

You are to be commended,
my student.

But remember, no machine
will ever replace

the healing powers of a caring,
sympathetic physician.

I know. That's
my next invention.

[Burne]
Now, listen up, you two.
These are your assignments.

Vernon, I'm sending you
to the island of Poppalua.

The famous Toppapoppalua
Volcano is about to erupt!

Wh-- Erupt?
I absolutely refuse.

Would you rather
the volcano explode,

or me?

[chuckling]
I'm practically packed.

What about me, Chief?

What's my dangerously
exciting assignment?

Right, April.
You're covering the story

at the Botanical Gardens.

It seems a new species
of lily

has been discovered
by the famed botanist

Professor Wilhelm Vanilli.

A wimpy flower exhibit?

Chin up, O'Neil.

You might luck out and get
bitten by a snapdragon.

Ha ha ha ha!

It just isn't fair.

What if Vernon and I
switched assignments?

Oh! Oh, could we, Chief?

That would make me happy.

Forget it! I'm paying you
to work, not to be happy.

Now get cracking!

[keyboard clicking,
beeping]

All right!
Look out!
Get him!

Oh, no, babe!

Oh, Sensei,
what'd you do that for?

Recreation time is over.

It is time to assess
your physical well-being

with Donatello's
latest invention,
the Healthometer.

Okay, who'll
be the first
guinea turtle?

Don't look at me.
If I'm sick, I'd rather
not know about it.

Do not forget the secret

of a well-balanced life,
Raphael:

a healthy mind
in a healthy body.

I'll volunteer.
What do I have to do?

Just put your finger
in that hole.

[whirring]

All right!

Me next!

[whirs, beeps]

Excellent!
Fantabuloso!

Okay, Raphael,
your turn.

Oh, all right.
But I still think
this is pretty stupid.

[beeping]

Ha!
"Adios, amigo"?

Come on,
that's ridiculous.
[long, steady beep]

I don't understand it.

There's no way
the Healthometer can be wrong.

Yeah? Well, I think
I'd like a second opinion.

I'd say you just got it.

I still
can't believe it!

Vernon is off on
some tropical island,

covering an exciting
volcano story,

while I'm stuck here at
this mega-boring flower show.

Yeah. There just
ain't no justice.

Oh, why, Miss O'Neil.
I'm Laverne Portside,

chairperson of
the Flower Lovers Society.

I'll bet you're simply
thrilled to be here!

Oh, yes.
I'm all aquiver.

[laughs]
I know what you mean.

Flower-naming ceremonies
can be so exciting.

Mm-hmm. I've got a few names
I could call them myself.

This is Vernon Fenwick,

your fearless
Channel 6 correspondent,

reporting to you from
the Island of Poppalua,

where the Toppapoppalua
Volcano

is threatening
to blow its top!

Oh, by the way, it's
the island that's shaking,
not yours truly.

We hotshot reporters
are used to danger.

I'll be back after
I change umbrellas.

And now, fellow members,

the moment we've all
been waiting for--

And waiting for
and waiting for
and waiting for--

...the naming of our
new species of lily.

I hereby christen it

The Lady Laverne Lily.

Stop!
This is all a fraud.

How dare you name
that lily after yourself!

I, Professor Wilhelm Vanilli,

am the one who spent
years cultivating it.

It should be named
after me.

Well, I-I know, Professor.

But the Willy Vanilli Lily?

It sounds so--
[chuckles]-- silly.

Well, you'll never
get away with this.

I'll have my revenge

on the entire world,
if necessary.

Well, there's
a little poison in
this ivy after all!

That stupid invention
of Donatello's.

Huh! Try to tell me
I'm in poor health?

How ridiculous!

On the other hand,
what if it's right?

I mean, maybe I am sick
and I don't even know it!

Ah! My forehead.
It's breakin' out
in a cold sweat.

Ooh. And now I suddenly
feel feverish.

Now my eyes are going!
I can't see a thing!

Maybe Donatello's
Healthometer was right.

I am not a well turtle.

I got to get back to the lair
while I still can.

But, Donatello, you just
have to fix the oven.

I was counting
on pizza tonight.

Sorry, Michelangelo.

I'm afraid
it's on its last legs.

Gee, you mean
nothing can be done?

Nothing.
I know it's rough,

but you're gonna
have to say good-bye
to your old buddy.

Tell me the truth.
How much time
is there left?





I'm losing the warmest
friend I ever had!

Buck up, old buddy.
We've all got to go
sometime.

But why so soon?

We had so many great pizzas
to look forward to!

I know.
Life can be cruel.

Then it's true.
I am a goner.

So little time,
and such short notice.

Before I head for that
big terrarium in the sky,

I want to soak up as much
earthly beauty as I can.

Oh!

You know, except for
an inconsiderate few,

this world really is filled
with wonderful folks.

Move onward, Jack!

I mean, people may
let you down, okay.

But at least the stars
are always up there

smilin' down on you!

Oh, yuck!

Watch where
you's walkin', buddy.

That does it. Since
my life is over anyway,

I'm going to devote
what's left of it

to makin' this old world
a better place to live in,

and to heck with the risks.

Whaah!

As long as I only have


I'm gonna devote it
to helping humanity.

Ooh. I can't do it
dressed like this.

Somehow it lacks,
I don't know, dignity.

Hey! Just what I need.
An all-night costume shop.

Hi.
What can I do you for?

Hi, how you doing?
I'm looking for
a superhero costume.

Nothing fancy.
Maybe in a 38 regular?

Superhero costumes
are on that rack.

They've all been
marked down.

So, what do you think?

It's you, all right.
Green is definitely your color.

Thanks. I'll take it.

You made a good choice, pal.

That fabric is made
to last a lifetime.

Yeah. Too bad I'm not.

Now for the hard part:
going back to the lair

to-- [gulp]--
say good-bye.

Now I see the trouble.

The wire on the anode
capacitator

to the synchronous
rheostat's slipped off.

There.
Now it's working properly.

I can't wait to tell
Raphael the good news.

Hi-yah!
[grunts]

Leonardo, where's Raphael?

[panting]
I don't know.

I haven't seen him
for hours.

Aw. I wanted to tell him
my invention had a glitch
in it after all.

He's in perfect health.

Too late, man.
The dude's split.

Split?
Split?

Yeah. He left this note.

"I've decided to devote
what's left of my short life

"to do-gooding.
Good-bye, Awesome Foursome.

Hello, Fearsome Threesome!"

Signed Raphael.

Oh, this is awful.

Where could he have gone?
I don't know,

but wherever the dude is,
he's practically naked.

[chuckles]
Make a fool of the great
Professor Vanilli, will they?

Years of pruning, grafting,
and yes, fertilizing,
and for what?

To have some biddy
steal my thunder?

I mean, not naming
that lily after me

was the greatest mistake

the horticultural
community could make.

A mistake that the whole
world will pay dearly for,

I assure you!

Now, if I still remember
my high school chemistry,

this toxic formula
should destroy

any living plant in exactly
three seconds flat.

Uh, 1, uh, 2, uh, 3.

h*-h*! It works.

And now, it's payback time!

Today the petunias,
tomorrow the planet.

Ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!

I feel so ridiculous
in this costume.

Ha ha!
Hey, who are you
supposed to be,

a silly green giant?

Lucky for him I'm a good guy,
or I'd tell his mother!

We have the place surrounded.
Come out with your hands up.

What's up, Sarge?

The usual thing.

Some gunmen are holding
the bank employees prisoner.

Hello? This looks like a job
for The Green Defender.

[grunt]

Stop! You'll get
yourself k*lled!

Besides, it's only money.

Yes. Someone else's.
Hyah!

Ta-da! Ha ha ha!

You didn't count
on The Green Defender!

Somebody get that weirdo.

Fire away, hotshots.
I got nothing to lose.

[grunting]

Wow, you did it!

You captured
the bank robbers.

Who are you, anyway?

Just call me
The Green Defender!

[grunting]

[crowd gasping]

All right,
step aside, folks.

Make way for
the captured felons.

Channel 6 News here.
The the viewers
what happened, Sergeant.

Your basic
attempted bank robbery,

foiled by a weird-looking
fellow in a--

Well, in a green cape
and a funny green cap.

Did you happen
to catch his name?

Yeah, he called himself
The Green Defender.

Did you say
"The Green Defender"?

No, I said
"The Green Defender."
Oh.

[Turtle-Com beeping]

Yes, Donatello?
What is it?

April, Raphael is missing.
Did you happen to see him?

Sorry, I've been too busy
covering the story

about some mysterious
masked hero

who calls himself
The Green Defender.

The Green Defender?

Raphael!
Raphael!

April, stay where you are.
We'll be right there.

Great news, fellows.
I think we've located
Raphael.

Well, what
are we waiting for?
Let's get going.

[together]
Turtle power!

Folks, it's not
a pretty picture

here at the Tri-City
Towers,

where a gripping
real-life drama
is unfolding.

Because, stranded on
on the 30th-story ledge

of this historic edifice

is the cutest darn kitten

you've ever
laid your eyes on.

[meowing]

Kinda tugs at your
heartstrings, doesn't it?

It looks to this reporter
like that hapless kitten
is a gone goose,

unless, of course,
some self-destructive idiot

is willing to risk
his fool neck to save
the furry little feline.

This sounds like a job
for The Green Defender.

What's this?
Am I seeing things?

Or has that
self-destructive idiot

actually
made his appearance?

Ladies and gentlemen,

this reporter can't believe
his tired old eyes.

Such a display of
self-sacrifice and bravery

warms the very c*ck
of my heart.

This is truly astounding.
What incredible bravery.

What amazing agility!

What a ridiculous outfit.

Here you go, sir.

See that it gets
a good home.

Wait!
What's your name, son?

They call me
The Green Defender!

Yoo-hoo. I'm April O'Neil,
from Channel 6?

I'm looking for
The Green Defender.

As usual, Miss O'Neil,
you're a day late
and a dollar short.

In other words?
You just missed him.

Where could he have
disappeared to?

Anywhere, dudes.
It's a humongous city.

Well, wherever he is,
we're still shy one turtle.

Would you settle
for a kitten?

[Burne]
Well, Vernon,
what's taking so long?

Where's that blasted
volcano footage?

Oh, I'm sorry, Chief.

The blasted volcano
hasn't, uh, blasted yet.

Doesn't that volcano
realize we've got deadlines?

There's got to be some way
you can speed things up.

I suppose there's always
human sacrifice.

Well, what are
you waiting for?

[volcano erupts]
Wha-- Oh!

[grunts]
What's going on now?

This could be it, sir.
The top of Poppalua is smoking.

Well, just don't lie there.
Get it on tape!

Forget it.
I'm out of here.

Insubordination
in the ranks.

Vernon, you haven't
heard the last of this.

I'll be safe in here.
Ooh. Ow. Ooh. Ouch!

It's worse
than I thought, Chief.

Dinah's Dynamite Factory
is fully engulfed in flames.

I warned Dinah about
having their annual
company barbecue in here.

Evacuate the entire area!
The place could blow
at any minute.

Hi, there.
I'm The Green Defender.
Can I be of service?

Are you out of your mind?

There's over a ton
of dynamite in there.

Those odds don't scare me.

No! Come back! You'll
be blown to kingdom come!

Hey, that's not
a problem for me.

I'm headed there anyway!

April, where are you?

Come in, April!

Right here, Chief.
I'm at 5th and Central.

Good, good, good.
I want you to get over

to Dinah's Dynamite Factory.

It's about to blow up.

So why don't we just
wait here and let it
come to us?

Some nut in a green cape
just ran into the place,

and you'll never guess
what he calls himself!

The Green Defender?

How did you know?

Just a lucky guess.
Don't worry, Chief.

I'm on my way.

[cough cough]

Boy, talk about
secondhand smoke.

Wow, the flames have
nearly reached the dynamite.

Another few seconds
and kablooey!

Oh, the automatic sprinklers
aren't working.

They must be jammed!

There's only one way
to turn 'em on.

Yeah, it's risky, but hey,
I'm the guy who said,

"To heck with
the risks," right?

Whoo! Good thing
I remembered that heat
makes things rise.

I guess all those
hang gliding lessons
from Michelangelo

weren't a total waste
after all.

Yee-ha! Yeah!
Yee-ha.

Quick! Where's the fire?

Thanks to The Green Defender,
it is being put out.

Is he all right?
Where is he?

He did his job, and then
he disappeared into the crowd,

like a true humble hero
that he is.

"Humble hero"?
Oh, brother.

We've gotta find Raphael.

If he keeps taking
crazy risks like this,

something tragic
is bound to happen.

[Michelangelo]
For sure, the dude's luck
can't last forever.

[Vanilli]
h* h* h* h*!

At last.
The Island of Poppalua.

It looks like the top
of Toppapoppalua is about
to boom-boom explode,

and so am I.

I got to tell you,
the world will pay dearly

for not naming my hybrid
the Willy Vanilli Lily.

Ha! They won't be able to
say it with flowers anymore.

Ha ha! Ha ha ha ha!

This is Vernon Fenwick,
the gutsiest guy I know,

risking my life to bring you
live, on-the-spot footage

of an actual volcano
erupting.

Aloha, Vernon.
I'll take it from here.

[grunt]
Do you mind?

I'm trying to win
an Emmy for broadcasting
excellence here.

Forget it, pal.
What I have to say

is much more earth-shaking
than a measly old volcano.

Hello. Plant lovers
of the world.

It gives me great pleasure

to announce that I,
Professor Willy Vanilli,

have just dropped a canister
of deadly chemicals

into the Toppapoppalua
Volcano!

Now, when it erupts,
it will spread

a highly toxic fume
all over the globe!

And then, my friends,
every shred of vegetation

on the surface of the earth
will shrivel and die.

I'm talking trees.
I'm talking flowers.

And yes, even broccoli.

I will have my revenge.

Ha ha! Ha ha h* h*!

Remember, you heard
it here first.

In a few short moments,
every living plant in creation

will be destroyed.

Is there a man out there
foolhardy enough

to climb into that
lava-filled volcano

and retrieve that canister,

knowing the impossible odds
against him?

There may not be a man,
but there sure is a turtle.

You called for me,
Mr. Thompson?

Yes. I'm sending you
to Poppalua after all.

Poppalua!
I can't believe it!

That wacko
Professor Vanilli

has just thrown a toxic
chemical into the volcano,

and Vernon
can't handle the story.

Great. I'm on my way.

Just so you know, this
counts as your vacation!

It's no use, guys.
If we're gonna find Raphael,

we'll have to survey
the city from the air.

The Turtle Blimp.
It's gone!

[Michelangelo]
Wait, there's a note.

It's from Raphael.

"I'm off to save
the world's vegetation.

"If I don't return,
you'll find the blimp

"on the island of Poppalua.

This is my very last
final note."

Sheesh. The dude's turned
into a regular pen pal.

We've got to get there,
and fast.

April, we know
where Raphael is.

We've got to borrow
the news copter.

Sorry, guys. No can do.

I'm flying it to Poppalua.

There's a major story
breaking there.

Poppalua? Well,
that's where Raphael is.

We'll go with you!

[April]
Hurry! I want to make
the 11:00 news!

Donatello, how long
do you figure before
the volcano erupts?

Hmm. By multiplying
the seismic vibrations

of the earth, divided
by the temperature
of the lava,

I've arrived at the definite
conclusion that--

I have absolutely no idea.

Well, Michelangelo,
have you finished

charting our course
to Poppalua?

No sweat, dudette.
All you gotta do is

turn left at New Jersey.
You can't miss it.

[Leonardo]
Look! There's
the Turtle Blimp!

[Donatello]
But no sign of Raphael.

[Michelangelo]
Look up there.
It's Raphael.

[Leonardo]
It looks like he's gonna leap
into that angry volcano!

Dudes, we gotta stop him.

I just hope
we're not too late.

[together]
Turtle power!

There it is. The professor's
deadly canister.

It's a lucky thing
I'm about to check out.

I mean, only an idiot would
jump into a live volcano.

Hey, idiot!

Didn't anyone ever tell you
that smoking volcanoes

can be hazardous
to your health?

Who cares? According to
that stupid gadget of yours,

I'm on my way out anyway.

That's what
I came to tell you.

I found a glitch
in the Healthometer.

You did?

Yes!
You're in perfect health.

Not for long, I'm not.

I've got you, Raphael.
Don't panic.

Sorry. Panic was
the first thing
that sprang to mind.

Donatello!

Chill out,
my half-baked bud.

I got you!

Guys, I think
the big moment has arrived.

Did you hear that, Leonardo?

Come on, let's blow
this Poppolua stand.

[rumbling]

And so, thanks to
the mysterious Green Defender,

the world's
vegetation has been saved
from certain destruction.

As for Professor Vanilli,
justice is hot on his tail.

Whoa! Ouch!
Eh, whoa! Oh, oh.

[April]
For the next five to ten years,

he can be found puttering
in the penitentiary garden.

I trust, my son,
that this has taught you

not to jump to conclusions.

Well, actually, it's taught me
not to jump into volcanoes.

Would The Green Defender
like to do the honors?

Ha ha!
Gladly.

[karate yells]

[cheering]

Well, dudes, that's
about the unhealthiest

Healthometer I ever saw.