05x02 - Michaelangelo Meets Mondo Gecko

[bunniefuu]

♪♪ [ Rock ]

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Heroes in a half shell ♪

♪ Turtle power ♪

♪ They're the world's
most fearsome fighting team ♪

[ Leonardo ]
We're really hip.

♪ They're heroes
in a half shell
and they're green ♪

[ Raphael ]
Hey! Get a grip!

♪ When the evil Shredder
attacks ♪

♪ These turtle boys
don't cut him no slack ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Splinter taught them
to be ninja teens ♪

[ Donatello ]
He's a radical rat.

♪ Leonardo leads
Donatello does machines ♪

[ Donatello ]
That's a fact, Jack.

♪ Raphael is cool but rude ♪
[ Raphael ]
Give me a break.

♪ Michelangelo
is a party dude ♪
[ Michelangelo ] Party!

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Heroes in a half shell ♪

♪ Turtle power ♪♪

Lunch is ready, fellas.

Boy, that pizza
smells great, Hokum.

Totally.
I've got a mondo
case of the munchies.

And it's my own
special recipe.

Oh, tell me
this isn't broccoli.

Why, it sure is.
I call it
pizza bunny style.

Hey, guys. It's April.
Turn up the sound, dude.

April O'Neil here,
speaking with the Easter Bunny,
who's just been mugged.

Exactly what happened?
Gee, uh, I don't know.

Suddenly this guy
jumps me
and steals my wallet.

Man, how low can you go?

A fellow rabbit
needs my help.

Keep the pizza warm.
I'll be back in two shakes
of a hare's tail.

Hokum, wait.
That's not a real rabbit.

He's a grown-up bunny.
He can take care
of himself.

[ Krang ]
Aha! I have found it!

Ooh! Found what, Krang?
A teeny-weeny blinking light?

For your information,
this is a once-in-a-lifetime
occurrence--

a temporal wave distortion.

I can't tell you
how excited
that makes me.

Oh, you will
get excited, Shredder,

when I tell you
it could mean a world where
the Turtles do not exist.

A world without
those wretched reptiles?
Tell me more.

[ Krang ]
Time is like this ribbon.

[ Chuckles ]
All right.
Visual A*DS.

The past is back here.
The present here.

And here is the future.

Due to certain phenomena,
occasionally time
bunches up like this.

Then one could travel
ahead in time
to the future.

And today is one of
those occasions.

You can now travel
to the year 3000,

where the Turtles
will be long vanished.

But what about weapons?
They might be
very powerful by then.

That's why you will take along
this matter transformer.

With it, a weapon could
become a candy bar.

Oh, just my luck.
I'm on a diet.

[ Krang ]
This abandoned
subway line...

runs straight through
the time distortion.

Take the subway car
to full speed...

and you will arrive
at the future,

where there will be no turtles
to stand in our way.

We shall be lords
of the future!

This is April O'Neil
speaking to you
from the city subway,

where mothers,
purse snatchers
and graffiti artists...

strike terror
in the hearts of citizens.

Officer,
what can we do to put a stop
to this crime wave?

Eternal vigilance, ma'am.

Criminals can strike
when we least expect it.

[ Chuckling ]

Oh! Oh, oh, oh!

This is April O'Neil
with an underwear--

[ Chuckles ]
underground report
on crime.

[ Sighs ]
Now I wonder where
I could find that Easter Bunny.

Wow! If this ain't
the biggest danged
rabbit hole I ever did see.

Along with the biggest
dang rabbit I ever did see!
[ Screams ]

[ Shredder ]
We'll soon be
in the year 3000, Krang.

Excellent.
By then the Turtles
will be no more.

[ Cackles ]

Oh, my gosh.
It's them same bad guys
I met in the last episode.

Look, boss.
A flying calendar.

What? This is only
the year 2036?

[ Chirps ]
You have
failed again, Krang.

We haven't gone far enough
into the future.

Big deal.
So I miscalculated.

But no matter.
The Turtles will be
ancient now.

You can easily
defeat them.

Perhaps you're right.

Come. Let us see
what the future
holds in store.

By golly,
those bad fellers
are up to no good.

I better follow.

[ Rocksteady ]
Wow. Everything's
so neat and clean.

[ Bebop ]
Yeah. Don't you just hate it?

Hey, Grandpa.
Yes, gentlemen?
May I help you?

Hey. You're High-Five
from the old g*ng.

I'd recognize
that Mohawk anywhere.

Well, well.
Rocksteady and Bebop.

Hey. You've been gone
a long time.

Where's the old g*ng?
Where's all the crooks?

There are no more
criminals in this city.

The Turtles locked up
the last one years ago.

Even in the future
I'm plagued by those
blasted reptiles!

If this is the future,
they can keep it.

It's full of wimps
and dweebs.

Yeah. I sure wish
the old g*ng was here.

That's it. You will bring
your old g*ng here to
the future, armed to the teeth.

We will blast all resistance.
[ Chuckles ]

Uh-oh. I better get back
on that time train
and warn the Turtles.

[ Train Horn Honks ]

♪♪ [ TV: Instrumental Theme ]
Students,

it is time for
your martial arts
practice.

Aw!
Oh, man!

Gosh, Sensei.
I'm right in the middle...

of a book on
multidimensional
binary equations.

Yeah. And Milligan's Island
is on in five minutes.

And you're not supposed
to exercise after eating.

All those calories
will make you fat,
Michelangelo.

Donatello,
you will ruin your eyes
reading in poor light.

Raphael, your brain
will shrivel from watching
too much television.

Practice,
practice, practice.

If you wish to be sharp
tomorrow, you must hone
your skills today.

Hurry up, fellers!

Big emergency!
Hey, where'd you
run off to, Hokum?

The future!
And that no-good Shredder's
planning to take it over.

[ All ]
What?

No time to explain.
Come on!

Turtle power!

If you're putting us on
about this future business,

I'll personally rip off
your horn.

Trust me, Jersey Red.
It's for real.

We've heard from the police
and the citizens.

Now let's hear from
one of the criminals.

Excuse me.
You look like an average thug.

Tell me,
does crime really pay?
[ Laughing ]

It sure does, sister.
Hey!

[ Michelangelo ]
Hey, amigos. That punk
stole April's purse.

[ Hokum ]
Never mind.
We're going the same way.

Let's go.

Come on!
Whoa, h*, h*!

What's this
about conquering
the future?

Sounds like a big job.

Nonsense.
The people of this time
are cowering weaklings,

and the police
carry no weapons.
[ Chuckles ]

The future is ours!

Au contraire, Shred-head.

A Turtle?
How did you get here?

Let me see.
I took the uptown express
to 41-- No, 42nd.

Then I caught
the crosstown local.

- Blast him!
- Hit it, Turtles!

[ All ]
Turtle power!

Whoa!
[ Leonardo ]
Look out, dudes!

Whoa!
Whoa!

Well, well.
Visitors from the past.

Too bad your future
is going to be so brief.
[ Cackles ]

Oh, goody, goody.
We get to blast
some Turtles.

Wrong-- by a hare.

It's that rabbit
from the fantasy dimension.
Get him!

Look out!

[ All Coughing ]

Good work, Hokum!

We've gotta hurry
and find tin grid.

Those yellow streamers
are part of that time distortion
we went through.

Bummer. And I was hoping
they were party decorations.

Let's get
them Turtles.

We'll deal with them later--
after we have
taken over the future.

[ Jersey Red ]
Okay, coppers. Against
the wall with your hands up.

I always
wanted to say that.

Great news, Krang.
We now control the entire
police communication system.

Splendid!
Why not a little
show of force...

to let the citizens know
we mean business?

This matter transformer
should provide
the demonstration we need.

Attention, citizens.

This is your new ruler,
Emperor Shredder,
speaking.

And just in case
any of you wimps might be
considering rebellion,

here is a demonstration
of my superior power.

And now for
the pièce de résistance.

Oh, no.
Not the Statue of Liberty!

This time Shred-head's
gone too far!

Hey. There's a severe
penalty for defacing
a national monument.

Wow. You guys
are even more famous
than Little Bo Peep.

Yeah, and it's about time too.

Whoa! I wonder if
I've got a line of surfboards
named after me.

Even better. Look.

[ Michelangelo's Voice ]
Welcome to Michelangelo's
Cowabunga Pizza.

What'll you have, dudes?

Whoa! Um, anchovy
and hot fudge.

Forget it, Michelangelo.
Remember what
Master Splinter said.

We've gotta stay
in fighting shape.

Ladies and gentlemen,
step aboard for the tour
of the Turtle mansion,

home of the old-age
Mutant Ninja Turtles.

Did you hear that?
We still exist!

Come on!
We've gotta warn ourselves
of Shredder's plot.

And once the Turtles
put all the criminals
behind bars...

and defeated
the evil Shredder,

they started
a clean-up-the-city campaign.

We did all that?
I'm truly impressed.

I can't wait to meet
our famous selves in person.

Hokum, you stay here
and warn us
if any bad guys show up.

Yes, sirree.
You can count on me.

But wait. They probably
get tired of their fans
bugging them for autographs.

Let's look for
another way in.

Whoa! Scope out this scene.

Look! It's us!

Pizza is served,
Master Michelangelo.

Radical, Reginald.

Man, totally triumphant.

Careful, Michelangelo.
You'll pop the buttons
on your p.j.'s.

Look who's talking,
Raphael.

If you'd kept up
your exercises, your legs
wouldn't be all shot.

[ Chuckles ]
At least I'm not
blind as a bat.

I wish you fellas
would stop arguing.

Or d-did I already
say that?

I can't believe it.
I've turned into
a befuddled old coot.

We've turned into everything
Splinter warned us against.

There's no way these
old dudes could stand up
to Shredder and his g*ons.

We interrupt
our regular program
for a news bulletin.

It's April!
Whoa! She's aged
rather well.

An incredible event
has occurred.

Previously defeated Shredder
has taken over the city...

and declared himself emperor.

His heavily armed th*gs
are terrorizing our citizens.

I don't get it.
We defeated Shred-head
years ago.

Oh, we can't let
all our years of
crime fighting go to waste.

Right. We'll show 'em
what turtle "powder" can do.
Oh. Right.

We beat Shredder once,
and we can beat him again.

Yeah, but-but we haven't
used our ninja skills in years.

Hey, dudes.

A turtle never forgets.

You're thinking
of an elephant.

Hey! Wait for me!

Shredder's gonna clean
those guys' clocks.

We gotta help him.
Aha. Gate-crashers, huh?

We're the Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles.

Sure you are.
Pretty good costumes though.

Let's go, kids.
We're gonna
call your parents.

Our parents?
How humiliating.

We can't let the old Turtles
face Shredder alone.

He's right, dudes.

Hi-ya!

Boy, those Turtles
sure got old fast.

- Where'd they go?
- Wait a minute. How'd you
get so young again?

Those were
the future versions
of ourselves,

and they're going
to face Shredder alone.

We're too late.
The old Turtles have gone.

Oh, we'll never
find them in time.

Time. I knew
there was something--

Uh-oh. We don't
have any time, guys.

You remember those yellow
energy bands on the subway car
when we arrived here?

Those were bits
of the temporal
wave distortion...

that were pulled here
when we came forward in time.

This energy meter shows
that our trip has disturbed
the fabric of space-time itself.

In other words?
In other words,

unless we get back
to our own time,

with everyone
who's come here,

both the past
and the future
will be destroyed.

So, like,
we have to rescue
our older selves,

then bring Shredder,
Rocksteady, Bebop and their g*ng
back to the past?

Right. And we have
less than 15 minutes
to do it.

Excuse me.
Is that counting
the commercial?

We'll take
that hover limo.

Well, how do we find
the old geezers?

I mean, our older selves.

Attention, Turtles.
I, Emperor Shredder,
challenge you to a battle.

Meet me at the subway tunnel.

I wonder if he means us.

[ Chuckles ]
Wonderful. All eight Turtles
will soon be within my grasp.

Krang, the Turtles
are about to
meet their doom.

It seems I've heard
that song before,
Shredder.

This time I cannot fail.
The old Turtles
will be no problem.

And Rocksteady
and Bebop's g*ng will help deal
with the younger ones.

Well, hurry up.
If the future is so nice,
I may want to come there myself.

Rocksteady, Bebop,
call those delinquents
of yours.

I want to prepare
a little surprise
for the Turtles.

[ Old Leonardo ]
Say, fellas.
I just realized something.

Uh, what's that?
[ Stammers ]
I forgot where we're going.

We now take you live
to police headquarters,

where Emperor Shredder
has a message
for the Turtles.

This is the last call,
Turtles.

I'm waiting.
Unless, of course,
you're frightened.

Nobody calls
a Turtle a chicken.

Time to get rude and crude,
dudes.

Turtle--
[ All Wheeze ]

power!

[ All Coughing ]

Let's hurry!

[ Wheezing ]
We are hurrying!

[ Chuckles ]
Here come the old buzzards.

[ Chuckles ]
This ought to be easy.

Uh-uh. The boss said
to let 'em go in.
Remember?

Yeah. Sure.
He gets to have
all the fun.

[ Donatello ]
They're in that
subway station.

Time for some fun, Turtles.

[ All ]
Huh?

Stupenduloso, dudes.

I really dig
surprise parties.

Now let's see
how well you dance.

Whatever you say.
One, two, three, kick!

Time to get back
to basics!

[ Shredder ]
What a pleasant surprise.

I didn't think you had
the nerve to show up.

[ Chuckles ]
It'd take more than your
ugly face to scare us away.

Splendid.

[ Groaning ]

Yeah. I, uh, thought
that went rather well,
didn't you?

[ Laughs ]

[ Grunting ]
[ Bebop ]
Here we come, ready or not!

We're ready.

Uh-oh.
Better warn the boss.

Hey, yo, boss.

[ Communicator Chirps ]
What is it?

The Turtles are coming.
The Turtles are coming.

Let them come.

This is April O'Neil
on the scene,

where this brave
group of Turtle fans...

are fighting
Shredder's g*ng.

We can't waste
any more time.

We've gotta rescue
the old guys.

Come back and fight,
you green-back yellow bellies!

If you think
you're stomping my friends,
you are all wet.

[ All Groaning ]

Hokum Hare,
what are you doing here?

Hi, Miss April.
Bye, Miss April.

Say au revoir
to the past, present
and future, Turtles!

Okay, Leonardo.
What do we do now?

[ Muttering ]

Darned if I remember.

Oh, I hope we're not
too late.

Ah! The young Turtles.
Just in time.

- Hold it, Shredder.
- You didn't say "please."

[ All Gasping ]

Who are those guys?

Those dudes look like us!

You can never defeat me
as long as I have
my matter transformer.

[ Coughing ]

Then we'll just
have to-- [ Coughs ]
deal with that.

No!

Not another step,
or you will witness
your own destruction.

Don't give up, Turtles.
Use your wits.

But hurry.
We've only got two minutes
to get back to our own time.

Oh, we sure do
get into the darnedest fixes.

So, he wants us
to use our brains, eh?

[ Cackles ]

[ Groans ]

By golly, he's right.

- I'm not through
with you, Turtles.
- This one's on me.

[ Screams ]

[ Groans ]

Way to go, bros!

[ All Groaning ]

Say, you fellas
are us, aren't ya?

And I'm you. Well,
like you used to be,
that is.

Well, I'll be darned.

All aboard.
Next stop, the year 1991.

Well, bye, you youngsters.
Come around anytime.

Care to split
a farewell pizza?

Uh, no, thanks.
I'm giving them up
for a while.

Man, I never thought
I'd hear myself say that.

[ All Chattering ]

Bye!
Bye!

[ All Shouting ]

And so the question remains,
will there be crime
in the future?

[ All ]
Whoa!

[ All Groan ]

Hi, April.
We got your purse back.

Quick, Krang.
A portal.

Sayonara, Turtles.

I'll be back.
[ Leonardo ]
They're getting away!

Can we chase them
after I've had a shower?

All set, Hokum. The portal
generator will take you back
to your fairy tale dimension.

Thanks for the pizzas,
fellers.

I'm sure Hansel and Gretel
will just love 'em.

So long, buddy.
Take care, Hokum!

Bye!

Man, it has been
a long day.

I think I'll catch me
some z's.

Uh, not so fast,
Michelangelo.

We have lots of training
to catch up on.

[ All Grunting ]

Hmm.

I am quite impressed.

Yes, Master Splinter.
We definitely learned
our lesson.

Even if it did take