04x17 - Menace Maestro, Please

[bunniefuu]

♪ Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ They're the world's ♪

♪ Most fearsome fighting team ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ They're heroes
in the half shell ♪

♪ And they're green ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ When the evil Shredder
attacks ♪

♪ These turtle boys
don't cut him no slack ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles ♪

♪ Heroes in a half shell ♪

♪ Turtle power ♪

Oh, great suggestion,
Donatello.

Yeah, dude.

Next time you want to
go to Pick-a-Peck-o-Pizza,

include us out.

I've never seen
such tiny pizzas.

This must be how that
McDonald Crump dude

got to be a
multi-bazillionaire.

[RAPHAEL]
Some claim to fame,

owning the chintziest
chain of pizza parlors
in the world.

Rip off city.

From now on, I'm gonna stick
to good old Vinnie's.

Oh, but Vinnie
doesn't give away

these free scratch-off
contest cards.

[GASPS]
Oh, look!

Look, guys, I won a prize!

I won...
I won another one
of these puny pizzas?

Oh, me too.

Me three.

That's not a prize.

It's a punishment.

Not me.

I won a real prize.

A free pass to
McDonald Crump's
big birthday cruise!

Forget it, Raphael.

You can't just mix in
with a bunch of humans.

Hold the phone:
maybe I can!

It says here
it's a costume party,

and I have a great
idea for a costume.

Totally righteous, dude!

A wonderful costume, Raphael.

Radical notion:

going to a costume party
as a ninja turtle!

Sometimes the simplest
solution is the best.

Oops, I'd better get going.

I'm covering the party
for Channel 6 news.

See ya at the Marina, April.

I hope I'll recognize you
in your costume.

[GIGGLES]

There it is!
McDonald Crump's yacht!

Okay, Raphael,
the coast is clear.

I finally
get to say that.

I hope I can pull this off.

Don't worry.
You'll fit right in.

Look!

Oh, brother.

The city's movers and
shakers are all here

for McDonald Crump's
spectacular birthday bash,

including McDonald Crump
himself.

Tell us, why do you throw
such lavish parties?

Well, April, so that
I can tell everyone

about the lavish pizzas
at Pick-a-Peck-o-Pizzas!

Right.

And thank you
very much, Mr. Crump.

[SCOFFS]

I thought we were
doing a news show,

not a commercial.

That's okay, Vernon.

Maybe we'll have
better luck with the guests.

There should be some
big celebrities here.

Look, there's Raphael!

Raphael the rock star?

Or Raphael the movie actor?

Raphael the turtle.

All set for
the cruise, Raphael?

Yeah, and the best part is,
being green,

no one can tell
if I'm sea sick.

Oh, there you are!

Oh, am I glad
to see you again!

I almost didn't make it.

[STAMMERING]

Have we met?

[LAUGHS]

You're such a kidder.

Come on, we don't
want to be late.

Hmm.

Uh, do you always go on cruises
and pick up strange reptiles--

er, uh, boys--men?

Shh.

Pretend I'm your date.

Do you have a ticket?

What, you mean this?

Perfect!
Just what we'll need.

Here you go.
Oh, thanks.

You're a doll.
We're in a big hurry.

[KISS]

That's for helping me.

You're kind of
a doll, too.

By the way,
love your costume.

No, I--
Hold on!

I don't even
know your name.

The party is in full swing
as we pull out of the harbor.

I must admit,
McDonald Crump really knows
how to throw a party.

Get down, everybody!

Let's do the Peck-o-Pasta!

Er, uh, Piece-of-Pesto!

Um--My pizza
restaurant's twist!

Ooh, all that
talk about pizza

is making me nauseous.

If you need me,

I'll be here at the rail.

So, Raphael, who was
the cute young lady?

That's what I'm wondering.

She used me to con
her way onboard the yacht,

then boom,
disappeared.

Maybe she's playing
hard to get.

Well, something tells me
she's not playing at all.

I'm gonna go look for her.

Oh, pardon me.

Excuse me.
Coming through.

Oof!

Some people have absolutely
no originality.

If you had any decency,

you'd remove that
cheap imitation of
my costume immediately!

Sorry, fella, I've grown
sort of attached to it.

Well, you could at least stay
on the other side of the ship.

Hmm.

I wonder if...

What are you doing?

There's no time
to explain.

Well, I'll help you make time.

I'm tired of being
kept in the dark.

Then I'll just throw a little
light on the subject.

What?

I thought I was supposed
to have the clever remarks.

If I don't change our course,

we'll all be trading
one-liners with Davy Jones.

Forget it!

You're not changing anything!

Okay, Mata Hari,

come clean.

The name is Mona Lisa,

and you've got to let me
get to the wheel before--

[ELECTRONIC HUM]

[GRUNTS]

It's too late.

There's a beam of light
holding the yacht!

[ALARMED CHATTER]

I beg to inform you

that there's been
a slight change in
the scheduled entertainment.

[LAUGHING]

[RAPHAEL]
The yacht's been grabbed
by some sort of force field!

And it's coming from
that weird ship.

That's the Kleptofoil.

And that's its commander,
Captain Filch.

Well, shiver me timbers.

What a wealthy looking
group of land-lubbers.

Exactly who are you?

This is a private party!

How right you are,
my fine bucko!

My private party!

I've already sent
my ransom demands
to all the major newspapers.

Ransom demands?

Guards, throw this man
off the ship!

My guards can beat
your guards any day!

[GROWLING]

[GASPING]

Those guys don't look
very friendly.

Believe me, pal, they're not.

Those are Captain Filch's
mutant anemone sl*ves.

Yeah, well, with
anemone's like those,

who needs friends?

Vernon, why aren't
you getting this on tape?

Oh, and get that
awful pirate angry at me?

No way.

Give me that camera.

Vernon, you are such a wimp.

At least I'm
a living wimp.

If anyone tries anything,

he'll be thrown to the sharks.

Oh, now, Crumpy-wumpy,
you naughty boy!

Is this another one of
your publicity stunts?

No, honestly!
This is for real!

It may not be a stunt,

but you'll certainly get
lots of publicity.

You, with the camera,

be sure to stay in focus.

I want everyone to see
what happens here.

The world must
learn to fear

Captain Filch!

[LAUGHS]

You knew Captain Filch
was going to be here,

and you steered this yacht
right into his trap.

No!

I was trying to steer
us away from him.

Oh, yeah, sure.

Tell me about it.

Oh, I wish the real
Ninja Turtles were here.

They'd know what to do.

[GROWLING]

I know what to do when I see
something that size
coming toward me.

Come on!

Let's untie them, first.

What's going on here?

Well, I'd tell you, pal,
but it'd spoil the surprise.

[GROWLING]

[GROWLING]

Oh, no, not again.

My wife always said I'd
be better off driving a bus.

[MUFFLED SCREAM]

This way.
This way.

Trust me on this.

The guards are all
up on the bow.

We should go this way.

Any more bright ideas?

[GRUMBLES]

Hi, you guys look
a trifle stressed out.

Have a seat.

Wow, you swim like a fish.

You're no slouch yourself.

Mona Lisa, there's something
I have to tell you.

I am one of
the Ninja Turtles.

[GASPS]

The Teenage Mutant
Ninja Turtles?

I knew you'd come
to rescue us!

Now I think she's
finally catching on.

We've gotta find Raphael
before we all get
thrown to the fish!

[GULP]

Must you mention seafood?

Psst! April, Vern!
Hide in here.

Oh, I see you found your
friend in the mutant costume.

I'm afraid this
isn't a costume.

I am a mutant.

You're a what?

I am a mutant.

A mutant, just like Raphael.

You don't believe me, do you?

Well, let me tell you
how it all happened.

Oh, boy, I feel
a flashback coming on.

I didn't always
look like this.

Ah, there, yeah, see?

I told you so.

I used to be
a normal college student.

A physics major.

One day, on a field trip
with some friends,

our boat was boarded
by Captain Filch.

[LAUGHTER]

My friends managed to escape,

but I was taken
prisoner aboard
his sub, the Kleptofoil.

When he learned of
my background in physics,

he tried to convince me
to help him.

He planned to control
the world through
high-tech piracy.

I played along, hoping to be
able to thwart his evil plan.

One night, I snuck down to the
lab determined to destroy it.

But something went wrong.

[RUMBLING]

I was caught in a backwash
from the sub's
nuclear power source

and became the grotesque
mutant I am today.

And ever since I've been trying
to stop Captain Filch

from carrying out his scheme.

But I have failed.

Hey, I don't think
you're a grotesque mutant.

I think you're
kind of cute.

[SNIFFS]
Really?

I hate to spoil this
touching moment, but--

I know, I know.

We have to save the world.

Wow! I always wanted to hear
one of the real Turtles

say a line like that.

Speaking of the real Turtles...

Leonardo! Donatello!
Michelangelo, come in!

Oh, no.

Double oh no.

[GROWLS]

What's that you say?

You'd like to dance?

Sorry, but my
dance card is filled.

But we have many other
enjoyable recreational
activities

on board the ship.

Like shuffleboard,
for instance.

Bon voyage!

Now, we'd better get moving
before it slithers its way

back on board.

I'll sneak down to
the radio room

and try to contact
the other Turtles!

They'll never get to us
if we don't shut off
this force field.

Leave that to me, Raphael.

You just create a diversion.

Anyone mind if I just
stay hidden in here?

[SPLASH]

Please, I'll give you
anything you want.

Money. Cars!

Shares of stock
in my Patch-a-Pato--

I mean, Pop-a-Poopa--I mean,
my pizza chain!

Just please, let us go.

Never!

The world will pay its
respects to Captain Filch,

the greatest buccaneer
to ever sail the seven seas.

I'd rather pay you
your last respects, bucko!

You haven't reckoned with
Long John Turtle!

Avast, ye swab,

and prepare to meet
me trusty blades!

[NERVOUS LAUGH]

Maybe this wasn't such
a good idea after all.

Arr!

It appears you are
outnumbered, my friend.

I could take over
a ship, too,

if I had 50 of these
sea slug zombies helping me.

Hi-ya!

Why don't we go
one-on-one, Captain Filch?

Man to mutant.

[LAUGHS]

I'm afraid you're in
no position to bargain.

Tie him up!

[APRIL]
Help!

Help!

I'm a member of the press,
you overgrown sea weeds.

Well, well.

If it isn't our
little reporter friend.

And where did
my guards find you?

[GRUMBLING]

Trying to radio
for help, eh?

A waste of time!

No one can penetrate
my force field!

But, since you enjoy
sending messages,

perhaps we can put your
skills to good use.

Take her back to
the radio room!

We'll give her something
to signal about!

Let's go, Michelangelo!

Just because
Raphael isn't here

doesn't mean we can
skip our evening workout!

Not yet, dudes!

Bugzilla is about to cream
the giant snail!

Splinter will cream us
if we don't practice.

We interrupt this
cinematic masterpiece

to bring you an
important bulletin.

This is April O'Neil,

reporting from onboard
McDonald Crump's yacht.

They're interrupting
Bugzilla versus
the Snail Monster

to bring us party updates?

The guests are all being
held for ransom

by Captain Finneus Filch.

Unless 2 billion dollars
ransom is paid immediately,

all of us will be
forced to walk the plank!

You think that's his idea
of a party game?

We've been living in
the sewers too long, dudes.

Bobbing for apples has been
replaced by walking the plank.

This is one party
we'd better crash!

We now return to our movie.

Sorry, Bugzilla.

Have to catch you
on reruns.

Nicely done, Miss O'Neil.

What a pity that will be
your farewell appearance.

To the plank with her!

[APRIL SCREAMS]

Now, to get to that force field
and shut it off.

There it is!
The force field
control panel!

Uh-oh.

[GROWLING]

Ah!

[GROWLING]

What's the matter?

Never seen a flying
mutant before?

Well, you're about to
see one again.

♪ Nyah, nyah,
nyah nyah nyah ♪

♪ You can't get me ♪

Thanks, guys!

[GRUMBLING]

Keep in touch.

[CAPTAIN FILCH]
Go on!
Walk!

If you're waiting for
a knight in shining armor
to rescue you, forget it!

Cowabunga!

We don't have
knights in shining armor.

How about turtles in
slightly tarnished shells?

[LAUGHS]

You'll never break
my force field!

Let's boogie, dudes!

What's happened?

My force field is gone!

Avast, me hearties!

Prepare to repel boarders!

Pirate talk doesn't
scare us, dude.

Glad you could make it.

Now you've got
four of us to deal with.

Hey, what am I?
Fish food?

Where did she come from?

Oh, you guys
missed the flashback.

I'll explain later.

Right now, we've got other
fish food to fry.

Hi-ya-ha!

Why don't you go
back where you came from?

[GROWLING]

Cowabunga!

Whoa! Seven with one blow.

Just call me
the Brave Little Turtle.

Allow me.

Oh, you're too kind.

Oh, look out
behind you!

[GROWLING]

Hya!

Oh, thank you.

Oh, no.
Thank you!

You know, we'd make
a great team.

[GIGGLES]

Now that you fellas
have things under control,

I've got a sub to destroy.

Mona Lisa, no!

It's too dangerous!

Sorry, Raphael.
This is personal.

Stop that girl!

Will you be careful?

This costume is rented!

[GROWLS]

Please!
I'll share my
power with you!

We'll rule the world together!

Sorry, Captain.

You're all wet.

[SCREAMS]

This oughta do it.

Uh-oh! That sub
is about to blow!

If we don't relocate,
we'll all be particles!

Come on, Donatello,
we'll free the captain
and the first mate!

What about Mona Lisa?

Don't worry about her.

She can swim
faster than this yacht.

At least I hope she can.

Arr!

My submarine!
My beautiful submarine!

It's too bad
about Captain Filch.

He could have been
a great scientist.

Yeah, he just went
a little overboard.

I'd like to show
my appreciation

for all you've done.

I'm going to make each of you
a vice-president

of the Pick-a-Peck-o-Pizza!

Really?

Does that mean we could
change the recipe?

And the size?

Anything you want.

You'll be vice-presidents,
remember?

Whoa! Fantabuloso!

Why don't you come
and see me in my office

when you get out of
those ridiculous costumes?

Easy come, easy go.

Isn't that just like
a bunch of guys?

Once they're bored,
they leave you stranded.

Cheer up, dude.

Yeah? Who knows.

I'm sure we'll see
Mona Lisa again some day.

[MONA LISA]
Sooner than you think.

Now, hurry, you guys.
These pizzas are getting cold.

Mona Lisa!

Isn't it nice to see
an old friend?

Yeah. Mona Lisa looks great.

Mona Lisa?

No, dude, I'm talking
about the pizza.

Hey, guys!
Save some for me.