04x09 - Sorry, Right Number

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

NARRATOR:
Man lives in the sunlit world

of what he believes
to be reality.

But... there is,

unseen by most, an underworld.

A place that is just as real

but not as brightly lit.

A dark side.

WOMAN:
Oh, yeah, a week together

next summer would be great,
Lois.

l'll run it by Bill.

LOlS: [over phone]:
How's he doing?

WOMAN:
Oh, Bill? Oh, well, you know,

he says he doesn't feel well,

but, you know, he's always
like that in between books.

-[Lois speaks indistinctly]
-Mm-hmm.

Yeah, right. Can't sleep,

and he thinks every headache's
the first sign of a brain tumor.

Well, l know. He'll be fine
once he gets something going.

LOlS:
Yes.

l know, l know,
l probably won't be able

to keep him down,
if you know what l mean.

Mom?

Mm. Just a sec, Lois.

l want to tape Spider's Kiss,
but Connie won't let me.

She says it's too gross.

lt is.

Look, you guys,
l am talking long-distance

with your Aunt Lois,
and l do not think

this is the time
for sibling rivalry, okay?

lt was Dad's first book.
Don't you even care?

No.

WOMAN:
Ask your dad if you can

tape it on the VCR in his study.
He'll show you how.

Okay. Good idea.

Oh, and tell him that l said
to edit out all the gory stuff.

Aw, do l have ta?

Yes, you ''have ta.''

See?

Connie!

[children laughing]

Oh, no, no, the kids are just
squabbling again.

Well, Polly used to be able
to keep them in line,

but now
that she's away at school...

Oh, l don't know.

Maybe it wasn't
such a good idea, after all.

LOlS:
How come?

Well, lately when she calls,
she just seems so upset.

Yeah, l know,
but it's hard on me, too.

l miss her.

l don't like having my children
so far away from me.

[woman laughs]

l don't know what l'm gonna do
when they're grown.

You're right.

There's always Bill,
isn't there?

Booga-booga!

Hi, Jeffy.

How come you didn't get scared?

Scary is my business.
l'm case-hardened.

Something wrong?

Can l watch the first hour
of Spider's Kiss,

and you record the rest?

Connie's hogging everything.

[dog barks in distance]

[imitates Dracula]: Are you sure
you want to watch that, champ?

[normal voice]:
lt's pretty scary.

Yeah!

Oh, l really think Jeffy needs
the orthodontic work now,

but you know Bill.

[phone ringing]

Oh, Lois, hold on.
That's the other line.

Bill, could you get
the other...?

Honey, where are those blank
video tapes?

-l can't find any in the study.
-[ringing continues] -Wait.

l'm gonna put you
on hold, Lois.

[static over phone]

FEMALE CALLER [sobbing]:
Oh... Ta... Take...

Hello?

CALLER:
Please take...

Polly, is that you?
Honey, it's Mom.

[static crackles]

[sobbing]:
Oh.

Polly, what's wrong?

CALLER:
Quick, please!

[sobbing continues]

Now, honey, calm down.

Whatever it is,
it can't be that...

Oh, no.

-[dial tone]
-Damn!

Uh, listen, Lois, l'm gonna
have to call you back.

That was Polly.

LOlS:
Polly called?

Yeah. She sounded
really upset this time.

LOlS:
Did she say what's wrong?

No. She hung up.

LOlS:
Call me back...

Yeah. Okay, l-l will. Thanks.

What?

lt was Polly
crying her head off, Bill.

-What's wrong?
-[touch tones beeping]

You know, it sounded like

she was saying
''l want to come home.''

''Please take me home.''

Honey, c-calm down.

YOUNG WOMAN [over phone]:
Harcheran Hall.

lf you want
Christine the Sex Queen,

she's still in the shower,
Arnie.

Could you please bring
Polly Weiderman to the phone?

This is her mother.

YOUNG WOMAN:
Oh, geez.

Uh, sorry, Mrs. Weiderman.
Hang on.

[phone clunks down]

[sighs]

l found one, Daddy.

ln a minute, Jeff.
Go on up.

-But...
-l won't forget.

Now, go on.

-Come on! Come on! Come on!
-Katie!

No, Bill. You didn't hear her.

She sounded just so...

POLLY:
Hi, Mom.

Pol? Honey, are you all right?

POLLY:
All right? Are you kidding?

l just aced my bio exam,

and Ronnie Hanson asked me
to the dance Saturday night.

[chuckles]: Now you call and ask
if l'm all right?

You didn't just call here a
second ago crying your head off?

POLLY:
Heck, no!

Okay.

Uh, honey, l-l'm glad
about your test and your date.

l guess
it was just somebody else.

Um, Polly, l'm gonna have
to call you back, okay?

POLLY:
Okay, Mom. Say hi to Dad.

-Yeah, l will, hon.
-Bye.

She okay?

Yeah. l'd say
that was an understatement.

God, l could have sworn
it was Polly.

So it was a prank--

somebody crying so hard,
they dialed the wrong number,

through ''a shimmering film
of tears,'' as us writers say.

lt was not a prank, Bill!

And it was not a wrong number.

lt was someone in my family.

-Honey, you can't know that.
-Oh, no?

lf Jeffy called just crying,
would you know it was him?

Yeah. Maybe. l-l guess so.

[touch tones beeping]

-[line ringing]
-Oh.

WOMAN [over phone]:
Hello?

Mom, are you...?

Uh, did you, uh, just call here
a second ago?

No, dear. Why?

Oh, well,
you know these phones.

l was talking to Lois,
and l lost the other line.

MOM:
Well, it wasn't me, Katie.

By the way,
l saw the prettiest dress...

Mom, can l call you back?

MOM:
Are you all right?

Uh... no. l...

[sighs]
l, uh...

l have a little diarrhea, Mom.

l gotta go. Bye.

[laughing]
Diarrhea. That's great.

l gotta remember that
when my agent calls.

This is not funny, Bill!

CONNlE:
ls everything all right?

l don't know.

Everything's fine, honey.
Your mom just got a...

a funny kind of phone call,
that's all.

Go on back. Watch some tube.

Yeah. Oh, l just overreacted,
honey.

Really, it's okay.

Really?

Really.

Shh.

[water dripping]

l tell you, l knew that voice.

-lf Polly's okay...
-Dawn.

Come on, hon. A minute ago,
you were sure it was...

l was on the phone with Lois.
Mom's okay.

She's the only one left.

Bill, she's the youngest.

l-l could've mistaken her
for Polly.

Oh, God, Bill, it's Dawnie.

[touch tones beeping]

[click, busy signal]

Bill, l'm scared.

[Bill sighs, clears his throat]

[dial tone]

[beep, line ringing]

OPERATOR:
Thank you for calling AT&T.

Yeah, Operator, uh, l'm trying
to reach my sister-in-law,

and the line is busy.

There may be a problem.

Could you break through, please?

OPERATOR:
What is your name, sir?

Weiderman. William Weiderman.
My number is...

OPERATOR:
Not the William Weiderman?!

The one that wrote
Spider's Kiss?

That-That was mine. Yes, it...

OPERATOR:
Oh, God, l just love that book.

l love all your books. l just...

l'm delighted that you did,
but-but right now,

my wife is very worried
about her sister.

lf you could break in, please.

OPERATOR:
Of course. What's the number?

BlLL:


[sighs]

OPERATOR:
l'm sorry, Mr. Weiderman.

That line is not busy;
it's off the hook,

-and there's no response
to my signal. -Oh?

OPERATOR: l was wondering...
if l sent you my copy

of Spider's Kiss, would you...?

Why'd you hang up?

Phone's not busy;
it's off the hook.

There's no response
to the operator's signal.

Bill, she's out in the middle
of nowhere, alone.

What do you mean, alone?

Jerry's up in Burlington
on business,

and Dawn and the baby
are by themselves!

Honey, something is very wrong.

[crickets chirping]

Her car's here.

[sighs]

l don't like this.

[sighs]

Booga-booga.

How long have you had that?

Since last month, after all
those murders in Coleville.

[sighs]

Didn't want to scare you
and the kids.

l got a permit for it.

Let's hope the damn thing works.

Oh.

[sighs]
Come on.

[owl hooting in distance]

[whispering]:
Look at the lock.

Stay behind me.

[door creaking open]

[TV playing indistinctly]

MAN [on TV]:
Now l understand.

[gasps softly]

Oh, my God.

[door closes]

[indistinct voices on TV]

[phone beeping off the hook]

[sighs]

[music playing over headphones]

l heard some people just eat up
my books,

but this is ridiculous.

[music stops]

[sighs]

Hi, Dawn.

Oh, hi.

Oh, you guys should have called.

The place is a mess.

We tried to call, Dawn,

and the operator said
the phone was off the hook.

Oh, my God!

Bill, l'm sorry,
the baby's teething.

l know some critics who would
say he made a good choice.

[baby fussing loudly]

Oh...

Dawn, l don't want
to scare you, but, uh,

someone was at your front door,
trying to force it.

DAWN: Oh, gosh,
no, no, that was Jerry.

l had locked us out by mistake,
and he was really mad because

he didn't have his key and
he had to take a whiz real bad,

so he took a screwdriver to it.

l had no trouble getting in.

Oh.

Sometimes l forget to lock it.

-[baby cooing]
-Oh.

Dawnie, did you call me
earlier this evening?

DAWN:
Uh...

no, gee, no, l was...
l was too busy.

l was busy with Dustin.

He kept trying to eat
the fabric softener.

And then he finally got sleepy,

so l sat down to wait
for your movie to come on.

[thunder crashing]

[thunder crashing]

[laughs]

[coughing]

[thunder crashing]

[chuckles softly]

Booga-booga!

[groans]

You sure you're not mad at me?

Mm, no.

Not even a little.

lt's just, l was
so positive it was...

it was one of mine.

You know what l mean?

One of mine.

Katie, you know how sometimes
you see somebody on the street

you thought you knew,
turns out to be a stranger?

l can still hear those sobs.

So... lost, so heartbroken.

Well, there are soundalikes
as well as lookalikes, you know.

Yeah, but you know your own.

At least l thought
you did, until tonight.

Hon...

let it go.

You're a good man,
Bill Weiderman.

l just hate seeing you
look so tired, though.

You just hurry up
and get an idea, you.

[laughs]:
l'm trying.

l'll be up as soon
as l finish this for Jeff.

-[groans with disappointment]
-l know.

l haven't seen this one
for a while.

[sighs]:
Besides, l...

l can't sleep.

l know.

But maybe l'll still be awake
when you decide to come up.

That would be nice.

[g*nsh*t, yelling]

[groans]

[thunder crashing]

TV ANNOUNCER:
ln just a moment, we'll be back

with Spider's Kiss.

[rain pattering]

[quietly]:
Bill?

Hey, big guy.

Come on, it's after 2:00.

Bill...

Come on, honey,
it's time to go to...

Bill.

Bill, wake up.

[Katie gasps]

God...

[rain continues falling]

[sobbing]:
Oh, no, not now.

Please... don't leave me.

Oh, Bill...

Oh, no.

Not now, Bill,
please, l need you.

[continues sobbing]:
l love you so much.

-[thunder crashing in distance]
-Oh, no...

[sobbing]:
Oh, don't leave me now...

[continues sobbing]

[birds chirping]

[indistinct chatter in distance]

[indistinct chatter continues]

-POLLY: Hi, Mom.
-[knocking]

Oh, hi, sweetheart.

l was just on my way in.

l was finishing up a thank-you
note to your Aunt Lois.

l love you so much, Mom.

Oh...

Polly, l am so happy for you.

Jack is a good man.

Oh, thank you for letting me
get married in our home.

Pol, l wouldn't have
had it any other way.

And l'm glad...

that we chose this day.

Because it's right.

You still miss him, don't you?

Every day.

You'd think after ten years that
the hurt would go away, but...

but now we're going to have
your anniversary

to celebrate
on the day of his death,

and l just know
it's gonna ease the pain.

[sighs]

Oh... why don't you come on out
and have some champagne?

Jack wants to dance with you.

[both laugh]

All right, sweetheart.

l just want to put a stamp
on this letter to Lois, okay?

Okay.

[indistinct chatter continues
in distance]

KATlE [distorted]:
...together.

...run it by Bill.

He doesn't feel well...

He's always like that
in between books...

He can't sleep,
and he thinks every headache's

the first sign of a brain tumor.

[gasps]

l want to tape Spider's Kiss,
but Connie won't let me.

l do not think this is the time
for sibling rivalry, okay?

[sobbing]

lt was Dad's first book.
Don't you even care?

[sobbing]

Connie!

[continues sobbing]

l don't like having my children
so far away from me.

There's always Bill,
isn't there?

[sighs deeply]

[indistinct chatter continues
in distance]

[moans softly]

l'm gonna put you on hold, Lois.

[sobbing]:
Oh...

Ta... Take...

Please take...

Polly, is that you?
Honey, it's Mom.

[sobbing]:
Oh, quick, please...

Now, honey, calm down.

Whatever it is,
it can't be that...

Take him to the hospital!

He's gonna have a heart attack!

He's gonna...

have a... heart attack!

Please, take... take...

[gasps]

[indistinct chatter continues
in distance]

l dialed the old number.

l dialed the old number.

So it was a prank--

somebody crying so hard,
they dialed the wrong number,

through ''a shimmering film of
tears,'' as us writers say.

lt was not a prank, Bill!

And it was not a wrong number.

lt was someone in my family...

[echo fading]:
...family, family, family...

[line rings]

-[beeping]
-RECORDED VOlCE: We're sorry,

you have reached a number
that is no longer in service.

lf you feel you have reached
this recording in error,

please check the number
and try your call again.

[sobs]

[beeping off the hook]

NARRATOR:
The dark side is always there.

Waiting for us to enter.

Waiting to enter us.

Until next time, try
to enjoy the daylight.