02x14 - Dream Girl

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

NARRATOR:
Man lives in the sunlit world

of what he believes
to be reality.

But... there is,

unseen by most, an underworld.

A place that is just as real

but not as brightly lit.

A dark side.

[with British accent]:
Well, where the hell is he?

WOMAN [on phone]:
I don't know where he is.

I've looked everywhere,
asked everyone.

I just can't find him.

It just doesn't make sense.

It's not like Syd
to pull something like this.

He can't just disappear
off the face of the Earth.

I know it doesn't make any
sense, but what can I say?

First the electrician,
uh, what's his name, Domico.

Now Syd Grossinger.

I wonder who's going
to disappear next.

If you mean me, don't
hold your breath, okay.

[trips over
ceramic item]

[kicks item]

I am sick and tired
of falling over all

this junk that you're
supposed to clean up.

Why don't you do
some work around here?

[with German accent]:
I'm so sorry, ma'am.

I'm so sorry.

Damn well should be!

[eerie whooshing]

What... ?

What's going on around here?

Where is everybody?

OTTO [voice echoing]:
Well, how long do you plan

to stand there
like that, huh?

Where is my order?

What the hell is going on
around here?

[wind whistling]

ANDREA: Aren't you
what's-her-name?

Well, what took you so long,
you silly cow, huh?

Hey, I don't know
what's with you, but...

I suggest you stop staring at us

as if you've never seen
civilized people before

and do your job, ja?

[platter clanging]

Stupid, incompetent

clumsy, ungraceful goat!

Look at what you've done!

Oh, darling,
are you all right?

I'm okay, I'm all right.

I'm fine.

SYD:
I am so terribly sorry

for this unfortunate mishap,
Herr Schrag.

Would you please explain to me,
Herr Doktor,

how in the world you could hire

such incompetent
and impertinent help, huh?

I am deeply apologetic

for such stupidity,
Herr Schrag, deeply,

and I assure you
it won't happen again...

ever.

[whispering]:
This poor man,

he was once a famous
doctor of literature

till they found out
he had no talent.

Oh, no, how terrible.

Ja.

OTTO:
And so, he had to become
a maitre d'.

Imagine that?

Well, how awful.

Ja.

OTTO:
And now he will
lose his job

as maitre d'.

You will see.

[Otto chuckles wickedly]

Oh, my God.

It's Syd!

Syd Grossinger.

Syd?

It's Andrea.

Andrea Caldwell.

ANDREA:
It's Andrea Caldwell,
for heaven's sake!

The director of
your damn play.

Where have you been, Syd?

Everyone's been
looking for you.

OTTO:
We will take the shoelaces
here, Doctor. Thank you.

DIDI:
But Otto, I haven't
used shoelaces in years.

Never mind, my dear.

We're not buying
them to use.

We're buying them
to help the poor doctor.

Isn't that so,
Herr Grossinger?

Ah, quite so, quite so,
Herr Schrag.

You're most generous,
and I am deeply grateful.

Syd?

ANDREA:
What in the world
is the matter with you, Syd?

Nothing is the matter
with him, I assure you.

And while we're at it,
who in the hell are you?!

You will speak only when
spoken to, ja?!

Is that clear?!

Hey, wait a mi...

Now, Herr Grossinger,

tell me something.

Why did you say I'd never
amount to anything?

When?

When did he say
such a terrible thing?

Shush, my dear.

This is between me
and Herr Grossinger.

Well?

Well, I-I...

I didn't exactly say that.

What I said was...

But you said I'd never amount
to anything, didn't you?

Well...
He didn't!

You were certainly
mistaken on that count.

It was a stupid thing
to say, wasn't it?

It certainly was,
Herr Schrag.

It certainly was the rashest,

most profound mistake
I made in my entire life.

How could you say
such a thing about Otto?

Otto is a genius.

An absolute genius.

If he's such a damn genius,

then why can't he come up
with better lines?

We've been through this stupid
scene a million times already.

Aren't you
getting tired of it?

Can I go now, Herr Schrag?

[wind gusting]

[eerie whooshing]

I'm warning you, Syd,

if this is your idea
of a practical joke

I swear I'm gonna strangle you
with my bare hands!

I swear to you, Andrea.

Then what are we waiting for?

There's a play
waiting to be staged.

I know that, Andrea.

I wrote the play, remember?

Yes, I remember.

What I don't remember
are those awful new scenes.

You must've sneaked those in
when nobody was looking.

Give me some credit, Andrea.

Now, does that sound like
something I've written?

Do you remember me ever,

ever writing
such lousy dialogue?

No.

As a matter of fact, I don't.

So, what is
this, Syd?

Are we prisoners
in somebody else's lousy play?

No.

I think we're prisoners
in somebody else's fantasy.

Fantasy?

What do you mean fantasy?

Don't you know
who Otto Schrag is?

No.

Why should I?

The slob with the broom!

Oh, the nerve
of that little twerp.

And I don't even
own a miniskirt.

Boy, is it a pity.

I never knew
you had such great legs.

Thanks, pal.

That's all I need right now.

[chuckling]:
Sorry.

You know, what I can't
figure out is:

Of all the places
in the world,

why would Otto's fantasy
lock us into our own set?

I don't know.

Maybe it reminds him of
his childhood in Europe,

or maybe it's the place
where he suffered

his greatest humiliation,

so now it's the scene
of his great triumph.

People do all kinds of things
in their fantasies.

How long have you
been here, Syd?

I don't know exactly.

Seems like forever.

Do you think we'll ever
get out of here?

[wind whistling]

[eerie whooshing]

[thunder crashing]

SYD:
Oh, God, not again.

Que bella, bellisima.

Cut it out!
Let go of me!

Who the hell
are you anyway?!

ANDREA:
Syd! Syd, help me!

You animal,
let her go.

Oh, great.

I said let her go.

Who asked you
to butt in, bud?

Oh, brother, why don't
you both give it up.

Don't you worry,
my dear.

I will take care
of this sex fiend.

Oh, my, my, you really
scare me to death.

Oh, terrific.

[groans]

ANDREA:
Well, that's the phoniest
fight I've ever seen.

I've seen better stuff

at Saturday night wrestling.

[sighs]

Hey, don't worry about it, lady.

They'll heal
in about ten minutes flat.

Of course.

You look a little shaken, miss.

The name's Caldwell,

and it's ms.

Why don't you come
and have some coffee with me.

You've got to be kidding.

I'm not going anywhere with you.

We'll see about that.

[eerie whooshing]

Knock it off, Didi.

Oh, cut it out, Didi.

Aren't you ashamed
of yourself?

Taking part in such a primitive
display of injured male egos

at their absolute worst?

Huh?

How could you fall
for such a phony plot?

Two men fighting
over a woman,

then two women fighting
over a man.

It's enough to make
you want to puke.

Well, at least before
you came along,

they used to fight over me.

Big deal.

You mean this has happened
to you before?

Oh, sure.

Every day.

It's Otto's favorite part.

Anyway, it's
not my fault.

He makes me do it.

OTTO:
We're going now.

Come along.

You mean you're a prisoner
here, too?

I sure am,
wherever here is.

You think I'd be
with a creep like this

if I had anything
to do with it?

Well, you could
have fooled me.

Come along, Didi.

Why don't you
just drop it.

She's staying right here.

Syd!

[wind whistling]

[eerie whooshing]

So you're
the missing
electrician

that everyone's
been looking for?

Sure am.

Joe Domico,
that's me.

Oh, boy.

But why you?

Well, that's
a long story.

Anyway, I used to work
on one of those big,

ocean-going
ships, you know?

Boy, that was
really the life.

I bet it was romantic.

It sure was, honey.

Anyway, I told
Otto about it,

and he kept bugging me
to get him a job

on one of those ships.

Otto?!
Otto?!

Yep.

I guess he wanted
to show the world

that he could hold
a real man's job.

I'd sure like to see
that little twerp

on one of those ships.

JOE:
Yeah, he wouldn't last

on the ocean
for two minutes.

And I told him
so, too.

So, now he's proving
to all of us

how macho he really is.

Well, so what are
we going to do?

I mean, I don't even
know where we are.

You know, when I first
found myself here,

I thought I had
had a relapse.

SYD:
Andrea and I

think we're stuck
in Otto's fantasy.

Yeah, I mean,
that makes sense.

But how the hell
did he do it?

I don't know.

But I do know that Otto's
been losing control

ever since Andrea got here.

I think four of us is too much
for him to handle all at once.

Hey, hey, now,
wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

This isn't a fantasy.

It's a dream.

Well, come on,
it all fits.

The reality switches,

the feeling that we're walking
through molasses,

the longer and longer pauses
between scenes.

Well, everybody dreams
like that, don't they?

Yeah.

But you mean we're
dreaming all this?

ANDREA:
No...

no, we're not dreaming it--
Otto is.

We are just characters
in Otto Schrag's dreams.

But how do we
get out of this?

I think I figured
something out.

Otto's obviously not
dreaming all the time.

I mean, there's got
to be periods

when he's just sleeping,
and his control is off,

like right now.

Yeah, that could do it.

SYD:
So if we can

catch him sleeping,
and shake him awake...

we might be able
to set ourselves free.

ANDREA:
Yes.

And maybe then
we can fall asleep

and dream about him
for a change

and beat him at his own game.

[thunder crashing]

[wind whistling]

[eerie whooshing]

ANDREA:
Dreams within dreams
within dreams.

[voice echoing]:
Dreams, dreams, dreams, dreams,
dreams, dreams, dreams,

dreams, dreams, dreams, dreams,
dreams, dreams, dreams...

Wake up, you little creep.

Wake up!

God, I need some sleeping pills.

Sleeping pills.

Sleeping pills.

[breathing deeply]

[snoring]

[eerie whooshing]

[wind whistling]

OTTO:
Excuse me, madame.

I'm so sorry
to disturb you, madame,

but Captain Domico requests
the pleasure of your company

on the bridge.

[seagulls calling]

[wind whistling]

NARRATOR:
The dark side is always there.

Waiting for us to enter.

Waiting to enter us.

Until next time,

try to enjoy the daylight.