03x24 - Miss Perfect/Hakuna Matata U

[bunniefuu]

♪ Hakuna matata ♪

♪ what a wonderful phrase ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ ain't no passing craze ♪

♪ it means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's our problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ yeah! ♪

♪ Hakuna matata! ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa! ♪

♪ Hakuna matata! ♪

♪ It means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's our problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa ♪

Who will it be, folks?

Who will be this
year's miss perfect?

Why it could be any of these
three gorgeous creatures,

the beautiful Chantelle...

The exquisite Fuchsia...

Or everybody's
favorite, and mine,

the fabulous, the
incredible, the unique...

Umbaa.

The miss perfect beautytron


is counting your
phone-in votes now.

P-p-p-Pumbaa?

- What?!
- What?!

Who's Pumbaa?

I'm getting something
from the judges.

Ooh. And the winner is...

Pumbaa?

What?!

Well, a, uh, a surprise winner.

Ah ha ha! Pumbaa.

Who could this
glorious creature be?

It is too tight.

A little tight.

Timon, does this
make me look fat?

Yes.

- You didn't even look.
- Trust me.

Did you ever hear the
expression "fat as a warthog"?

- No.
- "Wide as a warthog"?

"Big as a warthog"?

"Butt like a warthog"?

No. No.

Yes.

Well, they got 'em for a reason.

Warthogs are very
big-type animals,

and you are a warthog.

Trust me.

You're my best bud,
but you sure ain't winning

any beauty contests
anytime soon.

Uh, excuse me, big, fat
pig, uh, and, uh, whatever.

Do you know where
we could find Pumbaa?

You found him.

Pumbaa?

Uh, yes?

Congratulations!

You've won the miss
perfect beauty pageant,

the most famous beauty
contest in the world!

You're the new miss perfect!

What?

I've never been so happy!

I plan to use my title
to promote world peace.

Excuse me. Pumbaa?

Do you mean me? Because
in case you weren't listening,

I am no longer Pumbaa.

I am miss perfect.

Well, then, miss perfect,
don't you find it a bit odd

that you, a warthog of the
spherical bug-eating persuasion,

was suddenly crowned
a beauty queen?

Of course you would say that.
You never thought I was beautiful,

but now, I'm miss perfect.

Listen, pal, if there's


it's miss and perfect.

Well, I guess I'll just have to
spend more time with people

who appreciate my beauty.

Hello.

Sorry, Timon. Can't talk now.

Love zee camera, Pumbaa.

Hello?

I'll call you back, Timon.

Hi there. I'm...

Hello.

I'm kind of busy now, Timon.

Ciao.

Pumbaa?

Timon, baby.

Don't "Timon, baby" me.

Sorry, bubeleh. What's wrong?

What's wrong? I haven't
seen you in weeks.

You don't even return my
phone calls. You've changed.

What do you mean?

Never mind. You're
gonna love this.

There was a big storm,
and a bunch of trees fell over,

and they're crawling with the
juiciest bugs you've ever seen.

Oh, no, thanks, Timon. I
don't eat bugs anymore.

I'm sorry.

For a second, it sounded like you
said you didn't eat bugs anymore.

Well, I just don't
think it would look right

for miss perfect
to be eating bugs.

I took a pledge to uphold the
image of the miss perfect pageant

and all its subsidiary
companies.

Are you saying that some stupid
miss perfect pledge is more important

than your best bud?

Ooh. I've gotta go make a
commercial now. Ciao, boo boo.

That's it. I'm going over there
and giving him a piece of my mind.

We're sorry. Your call...

"Ooh. I'm miss perfect."

♪ Poopy doopy doo ♪

"Ooh. I'm too good to eat bugs."

Stupid miss perfect.
Thinks he's so great.

That Pumbaa!

If I have to look at his ugly
mug for one more second,

I'm gonna throw up
everything I've eaten this year.

What the...?

Forget about his
face. The smell!

The noises!

Don't forget the smell!

I'm sure we all agree
that Pumbaa has got to go,

but how?

We made him miss
perfect, and now we're stuck.

Oh, we're stuck!

Stuck like a wad of bubble-gum
on the shoe of the world!

Maybe not.

There's an ancient
miss perfect rule

which has never been
invoked, "the ugly clause."

"If a contestant is
found to be so hideous

"that she could not possibly
be considered perfect,

she shall be... ".

"Disqualified."

How does he do that?

Oh, no. If Pumbaa finds out...

Finds out what?

Oh! Uh, just, uh, you
know, the what's it,

with the thingy over there.

Timon, what are
you trying to tell me?

All: That we're dumping you.

What? W-Why?

You are obviously too
ugly to be miss perfect.

Therefore, you are
hereby stripped of your title.

Aah!

Wow!

That hurt.

I'll never have to look
at your ugly mug again.

But I thought you
thought I was beautiful.

Yeah, right.

Oh, please.

Are you nuts?

Gee, Timon...

I... I guess you
were right all along.

I... I don't deserve to
win any beauty contests.

I-I'm ugly!

All right, that's it!

No bunch of beauty-contest phonies
is gonna make my best bud feel ugly.

Come on, Pumbaa. We
won't let 'em get away with this.

Ladies and
gentlemen of the press,

may I have your attention?

Uh, when's the
president coming out?

Well, actually, uh, the
president isn't coming out.

Of all the lousy...

Never trust a meerkat.

I knew it.

But I've got something
even better for you!

The story of a very
special warthog

who got his feelings hurt.

Wow! That is news!

What's the scoop?

My best buddy Pumbaa
was miss perfect

until those heartless
officials said he was too ugly.

Now, I ask you, is this
someone who is ugly?

Yes!

But that's because you're
only looking at the outside.

Sure, Pumbaa
isn't much to look at,

but he's the most beautiful guy
I know where it counts, in here.

Why, he's the kind of pal that
if he only had one stink bug left,

he'd give it to you.

If he found a nice new puddle of slime,
he'd let you roll around in it first.

I ask you, is that
real beauty or what?

Ohh! That was beautiful!

Poor Pumbaa!

I wish I had a friend like that.

Timon...

What a moving protest

against the unhealthy
ideals of beauty stereotypes.

Uh, yeah.

Yes. Of course.

Oh, what have we done?

Have we completely forgotten
about sharing bugs and slime?

Pumbaa, can you forgive us?

Please be miss perfect again.

No!

No?

Timon is the only one who
knew I was beautiful all along.

I'd rather hang out with him.

Come on, pal.
We got bugs to eat.

Bugs... To share.

You see?

What a beautiful human
being... eh, warthog being.

Timon, you still think
I'm beautiful, right?

Eh...

I can say, without a doubt,

that you are the
best-looking warthog

that I am looking at right now.

Oh, thank you, Timon!

Yaah!

Don't mention it.

Gee, Timon, we're so good
at this "hakuna matata" thing.

It's too bad we can't
share our gift with others.

And why can't we, Pumbaa?

Folks pay big money to learn stuff
from the best people in their field,

and who are the undisputed
masters of hakuna matata?

Hmm... hmm...

Are you overambitious,
overproductive, and oversuccessful?

Would you like to turn it all around
and have your life amount to nothing?

Then the Timon and Pumbaa
school of hakuna matata is for you!

Conveniently
located in the jungle,

hakuna matata university educates
workaholics and overachievers

in the fine art of
frivolous, carefree living.

I used to be a busy, high-powered
CEO of a major corporation...

But after finishing a
course in hakuna matata,

I now lie around all
day, eating and sleeping.

I used to get up early
and do things all day.

But thanks to the specialists
at hakuna matata u,

I'm completely worthless.

Don't do another day's work.

Our 3-day course is guaranteed
to bring you permanent happiness.

- Call now!
- Call now!

If you don't graduate,
you don't pay.

All major credit cards accepted.

This is it, Pumbaa.

Soon, we'll have tons
of students! And cash.

Oh, boy, Timon!

I just can't wait to pass on
the spirit of hakuna matata

to a whole new generation.

Yeah, right. Spirit. Generation.

Listen, I think we better
split up the heavy workload.

You take half the
students, and I'll take half.

Good idea, Timon.

That way, each student
gets special attention.

Better stand back, Pumbaa.

You don't wanna be trampled
by the on rushing crowd.

- Oy.
- Oy.

So, uh, how do we decide
which student we should teach?

Why are you here, kid?

Some people say I need
to learn to relax. Hoo!

So I figured what better
way to learn to relax... hoo!

Than a school that teaches
you how to relax? Hoo hoo!

I'm gonna make you proud
of me. Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo!

So proud of me! Hoo hoo hoo!

I'll take the sloth.

Okay, kid. I'll start by
explaining about hakuna matata.

Hakuna matata.
It's the study of...

Well, actually, it's like, uh...

Well, see, it deals
with the philosophy of...

All right. So maybe hakuna matata
is an art that can't be explained.

I'll have to teach by example.
Just watch me and do like I do.

This first lesson
demonstrates how not to work.

Now, observe, as I lay down
on my side and close my eyes.

There. Note how it is impossible
to do any work from this position.

Now you try.

Hey, not bad for a beginner.

Let us continue.

This lesson is a k*ller.

I'll demonstrate how not
to wake up in the morning.

This is important, since most
worries start after we wake up.

Now, watch.

Now, when the sun comes up,

we roll over to stay asleep.

Okay. Let's see you do it.

Attaboy, kid! You've
been paying attention.

I like your attitude.

Attention, class.

Hakuna matata
is an exact science

that can only be mastered by hard
work, discipline, and intensive study.

We will begin our
education with a look back

at some great moments in
the history of hakuna matata!

Turning points in history caused
by somebody not doing something.

Take Isaac Newton, for example.

If he hadn't been
sleeping on the job,

he would never have been
hit on the head by an apple

and discovered
the law of gravity.

Or how about the great
inventor, Ben Franklin?

If he hadn't fallen asleep
while flying his kite,

he wouldn't have
discovered electricity.

And let's not forget that famed
explorer, Christopher Columbus.

If he hadn't been lounging
on deck, getting a nice tan,

he might never have
discovered America.

Now, for tonight's homework,

I want you to read the first 50
chapters in your hakuna matata manual.

There just might be a
pop quiz in the morning.

Ahem!

Young man, there will
be plenty of time to sleep

after you finish the course.

Wasting time is a big
part of hakuna matata.

The key is to
accomplish... well, nothing.

So, kid, do you see any meaning
in those heavenly bodies up there?

Exactly. They're just
a bunch of tiny lights,

and anyone who reads
more into it is a mook.

6,400,003...

Have you finished counting
those stars, yet, Ollie?

Not yet, professor Pumbaa.
Uh-oh! Where was I?

Uh, 1, 2, 3...

I can't get over it, Pumbaa. This
teaching thing is a piece of cake.

Either I'm the most gifted
teacher since Aristotle,

or my kid's some kind of genius.

Oh, I wish I could say that
about my student, Timon.

He just isn't getting
it. But I blame myself.

I'm obviously not
working him hard enough.

But I'll whip him into
shape if it kills him.

And now, for your final exam.

Write a 10,000-word essay
on this "hakuna matata" thing

by first thing tomorrow.

For your final exam,

I want you to go to sleep for the
entire weekend without waking up.

The kid's a natural!

Whoa!

I don't know how
you can take it. Hoo!

I'm leaving. Hoo!

I'm gonna join the
army. Hoo hoo hoo!

It's gotta be easier
than this. Hoo hoo hoo!

Welcome, everyone, to
hakuna matata university's

first graduation ceremony.

It makes me feel so proud to
announce our first graduate.

He's not only the class valedictorian,
and an exemplary student,

but he was also
my first student.

Sam the sloth!

That's odd. I wonder
where he could be.

My student didn't actually pass,

but I can't keep
him from graduating

when I feel I failed
him as a teacher.

So now I'd like to call Ollie
the owl up to get his diploma.

He's not... here.

It's okay, Pumbaa.
It's not your fault.

Fault?!

This is the finest moment of
my teaching career, Timon.

Ollie finally learned the true
meaning of hakuna matata...

And blew off graduation!

I'm so proud!

Well, Pumbaa, we
didn't make any money,

but at least we passed
on the important things

our students need to
know to get through life.

Ahh... and that's what
being a teacher is all about.

Good teachers
are a real treasure.