03x21 - Space Ham/You Bet Your Tuhkus

[bunniefuu]

♪ Hakuna matata ♪

♪ what a wonderful phrase ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ ain't no passing craze ♪

♪ it means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's our problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ yeah! ♪

♪ Hakuna matata! ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa! ♪

♪ Hakuna matata! ♪

♪ It means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's our problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa ♪

Now, ok, enough with the... uhh!

Don't make me get rough.

You are so immature.

Huh?

Okay, anybody else?

Are you all right,
Timon? Is anything hurt?

Yeah, my pride!

Big guys are always
picking on me.

I'm so sick of being a
scrawny little nothing!

Everybody on this
planet has beaten me up.

Well, if it helps,

I don't think things could
possibly get any worse.

Ooh!

You just had to go and
open your big yap, didn't ya?

Pumbaa, where in
the universe are we?

I think we're about to find out.

His majesty, the king of Pluto!

Ewww... and I mean that.

And his daughter, the Princess!

Wow! What a beauty.

How does a toad like him
end up with a daughter like her?

Welcome, all.

You have gotten chosen to compete
in my interstellar gladiator games.

Compete? What's he mean? Hey!

Hey, you! What's king
frog face talkin' about?

You will be representing
your home planets

in our nifty
athletical-type competition.

Is he kidding?
Pumbaa, do something!

Hey, we didn't ask to come here!

We want to go home!

Yeah, now let us go,

before my friend here
dissects you for extra credit!

- Yikes!
- Aah!

This is not optional.

We chose you, you fight.

Ok, gotcha.

The winner here will get lots of
untold wealthiness and power.

And will also get to
marry the Princess.

Then again, how bad could it be?

Who's our competition?

Oh, no, more big bullies!

At this point I would be wetting
my pants, if, in fact, I wore any.

Take them to the
containment quarters...

Place... type... thing.

Mm-hmm.

Hope you aren't annihilated.

Me neither, sister.

Can I get a lawyer here?
A phone call? Something?

We need a plan.

Oh! Maybe this tourism
brochure about Pluto will help.

Pumbaa, this is a lot
worse than hyenas.

We'll never make
it out of here alive!

"Welcome to Pluto.

"Come and perish in our
beautiful surroundings.

"Pluto is the smallest
planet in the solar system.

"Its gravity is only 6%
as strong as earth's

"so on Pluto, people can
lift heavy objects easily,

run fast, and jump high."

Whoa-h*! Well, that
ought to be very helpful.

Pumbaa, that
doesn't count for us.

We're not people.
We're animals! Hmm.

Oh... the big bullies are
gonna get me... again!

When I give the signal...

Everybody start
fighting everybody else.

Ok, go!

Aah! Here we go
again, for the last time!

Nooo-oh-oh-oh-oh!

I'm too cute to die!

Go away! Go away! Go away!

Yee-ha!

Aah! Hey, that's not fair!

Trying to poke me with
those things was not very nice.

Huh?

- Wow!
- Wow is right!

I just turned a
monster into pudding.

I think that stuff I
read last night is true.

On Pluto we have super-strength!

This I like.

If those bullies on
earth could see me now.

Pumbaa, baby!

Hey, did you see these shoes?

It's the air meerkat.

I got a deal to start
endorsing them.

Got to support this Princess
in style when she's Mrs. Timon.

Hey, what is up?

Aw, Timon. I miss earth.

If we win tomorrow, I want
to ask if we can just go home.

Wait a minute.

This is my only chance at being a
tush-kicking, muscle-owning somebody.

You want me to give this up?

Well, I would if
you wanted me to

but I must not be
very important to you.

Aw, knock it off, ya mook.

I'm not the mook. You are.

- Am not.
- Are too!

- Am not.
- Are too!

- Am not!
- Are too!

It is now time for the
most ultimate battle

between our final
two contestants.

Bring 'em on. Let's
get this over with!

I'm in the mood
for some romancin'.

Uh, Timon, I think we're
the last two fighter-guys.

Wait a minute. You
mean him? Me? Us?

We can't fight each other.

We're bestest best friends.

Not only that, he's the only
guy I know on this planet.

Well, you can't
not fight each other.

It would ruin thousands
of years of tradition.

Ow! That's it! I
quit! I am defeated.

No, you can't quit.

This is a fight to the death.

What do you
mean... to the death?

You mean to the dead death?

The real dead-gone
not-coming-back death?

The big cack-a-roo?

You are goofy!

Oh, come on, don't
think about that.

Think about how the winner
will have whatever he desires.

Now just fight, or we'll
have to k*ll you both.

- Oh.
- Oh.

♪ Timon and the
Princess sittin' in a tree ♪

♪ k-i-s-s-i-n ♪

Gee!

Aw, poor little
homesick earth pig.

You gonna cry?

Ow! Why you...

Aha!

Whoa!

Unh! Ow!

Unh!

- Uhh... take... -Aah!
- Oof!

Huh?

Ok, you win!

- Huh?
- Huh?

Nooo!

Well, you win.

I hereby bestow upon you...

The whole enchilada.

Mr. King, I would
rather have permission

to take my friend
home for a proper burial.

Oh, okay. Permission granted.

- Suckers!
- Suckers!

Huh!

- There they are.
- I got 'em!

Sure, wish I had this
spaceship in the first place.

You know, Timon, that sure
was a great escape we made.

You know why? Because
us best friends stuck together.

Oh, sure, Timon.

Of course, if that Princess
didn't take her head off,

you'd still be up
there, and I'd be bacon!

Oh you saw that.

Well, I... you know, I was
meaning to talk to you about that.

Really.

Pumbaa, you know nobody
means more to me than you do.

You're the only big guy
that never picked on me.

It's time for...

- You bet your tuchus!
- You bet your tuchus!

Pumbaa, how many
times have I told ya

not to leave your p-p-p-pointy
stick collection lyin' around... ow!

You know how these things
scare the fur right offa me!

They're so... pointy! Yee!

I'll pick 'em right up

after I watch my most favorite
show in the whole wide world!

And the final question...

What sound does one
hand clapping make?

Sort of a whoosh sound?

That's right!

Sort of a whoosh!

You win lots of clapping!

What is this?

You were cheating.

Bad things happen to cheaters.

Did you see that, Timon?

There's nothing worse
than cheaters in my book!

Next week we'll have
two honest contestants.

And those lucky contestants
are, Timon and Pumbaa!

Timon, did ya hear that?

I sent in our names,
and we got picked,

and we're gonna be
on you bet your tuchus!

I do not want to be
on that stupid show.

Timon and Pumbaa will be
competing for the grand prize...

The tuchus trophy.

Worth a whole lotta
money, money, money.

Hooray! Hoo hoo hoo-ray!

♪ We're gonna be on
you bet your tuchus ♪

♪ we're gonna be on
you bet your tuchus ♪

Timon and Pumbaa!

Timon and Pumbaa!

Timon and Pumbaa!

Hey, uh, kids, I've been hyping
you two like sliced bread all week.

I think you're going to win.

Well, we promise to certainly
try our hardest, Mr. Mander, sir.

Call me Sal.

And I'm telling you,
you're gonna win.

I'm gonna give
you easy questions.

And the answers.

Here.

Wait, Sal!

I... I thought you
hated cheaters.

No. I hate cheaters
who get caught.

Come on. You
seem like a smart pig.

It's all about the ratings.

We can't cheat.

But, Pumbaa, it's
for a good cause.

Ratings! And that
big gold trophy.

Timon!

Let's welcome our new
contestants... Timon and Pumbaa!

Pumbaa, we've gotta
win this tuchus trophy,

so don't mess it up
with your silly... morals!

I'd rather have bad things happen
to us than be a cheater, Timon.

Category number
one... people you know.

First question, Pumbaa.

What Central African
animal in the rat thing family

is your best friend,

eats bugs found in logs, and
is standing right next to you,

named Timon the meerkat?

Uh... Henry kissinger!

Awww!

No, that's... wrong.

Here comes the correct answer.

Yike! Ow!

The meerkat!

Hey, what gives?

He got the answer wrong.

Why did I get thrashed?

Why, that's how things work
here on you bet your tuchus.

Good things happen to
your partner for right answers.

Bad things happen to your
partner for wrong answers.

Now you tell me. Thanks a lot!

Next question to Timon.

What person is your
parent but is not your dad

and is standing
right over there?

Eh... I know this one.

Eh... I can't find it here!

Hey, Pumbaa, tell me the answer!

Here! I got it! Sal, I'm
gonna have to say...

My uncle Larry?

No! That's wrong.

Because you
missed that question,

your partner gets his
head eaten by a shark.

What?

- Aah! Whoa!
- Hold everything!

You know what that music means.

That's the end of
round one, folks.

We'll be right back for
the tuchus challenge

after this commercial.

Timon, I think you and
Mr. Mander tryin' to cheat is not right!

Even to win money!

But, Pumbaa, this
isn't about money.

This is about a big, hulking
gold statue worth a lotta money!

I still won't cheat!

Oh!

This is tuchus mountain,

two heart-pounding levels
of do-or-die obstacles.

Who dares take the
tuchus challenge?

Me! I'll do it!

Very well, then.

If you're going up the mountain, Timon,
Pumbaa will be answering the questions.

What? No! Wait!
But, see, I thought...

Don't worry. I'll give
him questions so easy,

he couldn't possibly
get them wrong.

Put these on,
though, just in case.

If you get these right, Timon
has an easy trip up the mountain.

But if not... gaaaaak!

For the first question,
Timon will be

climbing the waterfall
of delicious food!

Mmm!

Ok, Pumbaa, the question
is, what color are blueberries?

Rhymes with glue.

Same color as the blue
sky you're looking to.

- I dunno.
- Wrong!

The answer is,
surprisingly enough... blue!

The waterfall of delicious
food remains the same.

Only now, Timon is the food.

Hey!

Oh, that's not helping
your teammate.

Neither will cheating.

Timon has made
it past the waterfall.

How ya doin', Timon?

You've reached level 2.

The hilltop of horsey rides.

One horse gives a happy ride.

The other horse doesn't.

Pumbaa, get this question
right, Timon gets a nice ride.

What do hay-eating
horses like to have to eat?

Uh...

- Hey!
- That's right! Horses eat hay!

You tricked me!

I'm almost there, Pumbaa.

We're gonna win
the tuchus trophy!

There is one last challenge.

The gorge of pointy sticks!

Uh... pointy sticks?

Why did it have
to be pointy sticks?

Oooh...

We'll be back to see Timon face
the gorge of pointy sticks after this.

If you don't start cheating
like we honestly agreed,

my ratings are
gonna hit rock bottom!

I don't care about your ratings!

Then what about your pal?

You don't cheat, your
bestest best friend

is gonna get poked, pierced,
impaled, incinerated, marinated,

and maybe even annihilated
by all those pointy sticks!

Ok! All right!

I'll do it, but I'm doing
for my friend Timon!

Why, that slimy little...

Look, you, no one forces
my friend to cheat but me!

Fine! Then you will both
face the gorge of pointy sticks!

I'm sorry, Timon. I know how
much you hate pointy sticks.

No, Pumbaa. I'm sorry.

I know how much
you hate cheating...

Albeit probably not as
much as I hate pointy sticks.

And we're back from commercial.

Time for the final question,
Timon and Pumbaa.

If you get it wrong...

Into the flaming gorge
of pointy sticks you go.

What was the little-known name of
Beethoven's last concerto in d-minor?

Time's up! I need an answer.

There's no way we
can possibly know that!

Huh? Uh... you're right.

It was Beethoven's there's no way
we can possibly know that concerto...

In d-minor! You win!

- Yay!
- Yahoo!

The tuchus trophy!

Yeah, I guess you
got your trophy, Timon.

Mm-hmm.

Even though you tried to
cheat our fans out there.

You're right, Pumbaa.

This trophy is okay
in an ultra-fantastic

sorta can't believe I'm
about to say this sorta way,

but... we didn't get it
fair and square, so...

Here, Sal. Keep your trophy.

Anyway, Pumbaa,
I learned my lesson.

That cheating's wrong?

Well, yeah, and it hurts, too.

But I also learned friendships
are more important than winning.

- Awwwwww!
- Ow! Ooh!