03x06 - Visiting Pig-nitaries/The Truth About Kats and Hogs

[bunniefuu]

♪ Hakuna matata ♪

♪ what a wonderful phrase ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ ain't no passing craze ♪

♪ it means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's a problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ yeah! ♪

♪ Hakuna matata ♪

♪ Timon & Pumbaa ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ it means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's a problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ Timon & Pumbaa ♪

Uh, what are we
doing in Japan, Timon?

We, my dear warthog friend,
are going to become sumos.

Oh, wow! Great!

Uh, what exactly
is a sumo... exactly?

I hear that in Japan, sumos
get anything they want.

They get treated like royalty.

Royalty?

The ultimate hakuna matata...

Sumos get all the
food they can eat,

massages that would make
a cat purr, hot tub privileges.

Ah, here's the place.

It's run by a man named Yagu,

who they say is very, very wise.

Uh, better let
me do the talking.

Gee, this place is big!

Gee, this place is big!

Ha! Listen to that echo!

Listen to that echo!

- Hello! How are you?
- Hello! How are you?

I'm fine, but I asked you first.

I'm fine, but I asked you first.

Cut it out, you mook.

We got to find this
Yagu and impress him

into making us one
of those sumo guys.

Greetings.

I am Yagu.

What do you seek, my friends,

a sumo teacher or
perhaps a zookeeper?

We want to be sumos
in the worst way.

I'm sure you will
succeed in that.

First, you must ask yourself
why you want to be sumo.

Ah, we're a team.

Hmm. Tag team sumo,
interesting concept.

Oh, yeah. Me and Pumbaa
have been partners for years,

through thick and thin.

We know we can
count on each other.

Right, pal of mine?

You got it, good buddy!

The two of us are one of a kind.

Very well.

I will instruct you in the
beginner stages of sumo.

First, you must wear
the traditional mawashi.

Ooh.

Ooh!

Next, chommage... the hairstyle.

Ah, listen, Pumbaa, I'm
going to, uh, find a litter box.

If you need me, just let
me know, tag team partner.

Nice setup.

Mmm. Raw fish.

Ooh, little things
with tentacles.

Got to have some of
these worm-like things.

Chocolate-covered insects.

Uh, could I get a massage?!

The earth is small
within its galaxy,

like that fly within this arena.

But the way of the sumo is
like the whole universe... big!

And yet, gentle.

Yah! Ow!

Oh, you have great potential,
Pumbaa-San, but you must focus.

You are big,

but you must learn to be strong.

Use your will to
bring the fly to you.

You are ready.

Ready?

For your first test.

Ooh, was I supposed
to study for it?

- No.
- Good.

Oh, there you are, teammate.

Ah, not right now, pal of mine.

I just had this massage,
and I'm kind of laid-back.

But, Timon, Yagu says
it's time for our big test,

you know, as a team

yeah, yeah. Teamwork.

You and me, sumos together.

You go ahead and
get started. I'll be along.

Sure, tag team partner.

I knew I could count on you.

Oh, boy. This is
going to be fun.

This test is one of brute force.

Well, uh, now, that
doesn't sound like much fun.

Now we will see if you
can be a sumo wrestler.

Wrestler?

What happened to catching flies?

Aah!

Yikes! Ooh!

Whoa! Oh!

Old buddy, old pal, is it your
turn yet, tag team partner of mine?

Not now, Pumbaa.

The hot tub is just
the right temperature.

Oh, okay.

Whoa!

Hey, bestest friend of mine!

Ah, gee, pal of pals,
I'd love to help you out,

but, you know, it's time for my
between breakfast and lunch,

hold-me-over-till-dinner snack.

Oh, sure. You know,
maybe next time.

Ooh!

Mm-hmm. Hee hee.

Hee hee.

Hang on a second, will you?

Pumbaa, long distance!

Uh, sorry.

Mmm-mmm!

Love this ice cream.

Uh, I'll come back... I hope.

Brain freeze. Aah!

Excuse me, Timon,
I could really use...

Pumbaa, old pal, you're
blocking my sunlamp.

Ooh, uh, right.

Ow! Hey.

What kind of teammate
are you, Timon-San?

I'm a great teammate.

Why, I'm Pumbaa's best friend.

Would a best friend
enjoy all the pleasures

while allowing Pumbaa-San

to take all the punishment?

Well, of course not.

As soon as he's done
sumoing in there...

Punishment! What punishment?

Your friend now faces

one of our mightiest
sumo wrestlers.

Wrestler?

You mean, like in
bodyslam, pick Pumbaa up

and throw him around
the ring type wrestler?

Pumbaa, what have I done?

Aah! Aah! Aah!

Here I am. Tag me,
old buddy. Tag me.

Timon, what a great teammate!

A true and devoted
tag team partner.

I knew you wouldn't let me down.

Uh, let me down.

Hmm.

Good tag, Pumbaa.

A little disgusting,
but a good tag.

- Ha! Don't make me laugh.
- Sorry. Got to.

Sorry. Closed for the day.

Open wide and say ah.

Ah... ah... ah... ah...
ah... Oh... ah... ah... ah...

Yikes!

Yuck! Huh?

Ah! Oh! Huh?

Sorry, big guy, but I've
been tagged, and you're it.

Low bridge! Coming through!

Aah! Ooh!

What a team.

Yeah. We go together
like sunshine and flowers,

like sugar and spice,

like peanut butter
and c*ck.

Alright, alright.

If you get any sweeter,
you'll get tusk decay.

Ahh. You have proven
yourself, Timon-San.

You and Pumbaa-San are
ready for the next challenge.

Hey, great, Yagu.

Uh, challenge?

Hey, come on, Pumbaa.

I hear the volcano jumpers of
Borneo get treated like kings.

Oh, boy! I can't wait!

Hello, everyone,

and welcome to the city's
official museum of art,

or, as we like to call it, coma.

Our museum contains
thousands of invaluable artifacts,

sculptures, and paintings.

Feel free to look,
but please don't...

Oops.

Touch.

Watch your backs.
Coming through.

- Huh?
- Huh?

Uh, pardon me, sir.

Sir, is this big
Bernice's bug buffet?

Are you big Bernice?

I'm afraid not.

But today is the opening of
our priceless entomology exhibit.

"That branch of zoology
which treats the structure,

habits, and
classification of bugs."

Oh, boy! Oh, boy! Oh, boy!

Bug treats!

Pumbaa, beyond those doors is a
world filled with small bugs, big bugs,

fat bugs, skinny bugs,

a whole rainbow of bugs.

We'll go in, admire
them, and eat them.

Say, you two wouldn't
be bug eaters, would you,

because bug
eaters ain't allowed.

Us? Bug eaters?

No, sirree.

We hate bugs. Don't we, Pumbaa?

Is today opposite day, Timon?

Hey, look! What's that?

I don't see anything, Timon.

Come on, Pumbaa.

Pumbaa, please tell me
your tusks are at the cleaners.

Oh! You said look, but
I wasn't supposed to!

It is opposite day.

Oh, okay.

Grr!

Whoa! Who-oa!

Gee, Timon, she looks so sad.

I bet a little hakuna matata
will turn that frown upside down.

Pumbaa, that
painting is a classic.

You can't do the lips
without doing the eyebrows.

What? Whoa!

Yaah!

Oof! Uh!

Uh! Argh!

Oh!

Ooh!

Pumbaa, Pumbaa, how
many fingers do you see?

Infinity.

Close enough.
Listen to me, Pumbaa.

I have an idea that'll get
us inside that bug exhibit.

Hey, both of you're
so look kind of familiar.

Well, of course we do.

This is acclaimed performance
artist Mandy warthog,

and I am his trusted assistant.

Ciao, baby.

Oh, gee. Oh, I'm
sorry. I didn't realize.

You go. Go. Go
right ahead there.

There you are, Mr. Warthog.

You're late for
your performance,

and you're only
scheduled for 15 minutes.

And now Mandy warthog,

presenting his latest
performance art.

Uh, Timon...

I don't know nothing
about performance art.

Do whatever you have to
do. Just don't blow our cover.

Uh, a meerkat
descending a staircase.

Whew. Meerkat on canvas.

Aah!

Meerkat rising from the ashes.

Aah!

- Impostor!
- Let's get him.

Uh, bye-bye.

Whoa!

Boy, am I hungry, Timon.

I can't wait to eat some
nice, fat, juicy bugs.

Won't be long now, Pumbaa.

We'll simply scale the museum
wall under the cloak of darkness,

blowtorch our way
into this air vent,

make a tiny expl*sive out of
bubblegum and imitation crabmeat,

the force of which will blow
open the doors to the bug exhibit,

and we'll be in.

Why can't we just go
through the doggy door?

Or we can go through
the doggy door.

That was easy. See? Told you.

Ah, too tight!

"Why can't we just walk
through the doggy door?"

Do the words dog meat
mean anything to you?

Pumbaa, we'll have to approach
this like sophisticated Jewel thieves.

Oh, boy. What do we do?

I want you to fling
me over that rafter.

Then lower me to the other side,

down between the
red electric eye beams.

You'll need every
bit of strength

to hold me suspended
above the glass case

so I can cut open the
glass with this glass cutter,

snatch the bugs...

Then swing myself until I fly out
that far window into the parking lot.

Uh, why can't we just turn
off the beams with this switch?

Or we could turn off the
beams with that switch.

Alright, you rats.

This time we finish it.

The old bazooka behind the back?

Surely you can
do better than that.

Oy, don't you know from sarcasm?

Do you think we lost him, Timon?

Of course we lost him, Pumbaa.

I know a mook when I see a mook,

and that security guard
is definitely a mook.

- And a fool, too. A fool!
- And a simpleton.

A nincompoop.

A real loser.

- A nudnik.
- A nimrod.

A dimwit.

Definitely a dimwit and a jerk.

Yeah. That stupid guard
is also a complete dipstick.

A real doofus.

- Weenie.
- Ding-dong!

Schlemiel.

Dorko! Ha ha!

A lame brain.

Ha ha! Weirdo!

An incredible bore.

Dirt-bag.

Ding-a-ling! Ha ha!

Klutz!

A complete...

Uh...

We're flying, Pumbaa.

We're dying, Pumbaa.

Aah!

As curator of this museum,

I want to congratulate you.

Before you two showed up,
our bug exhibit was, oh, passe,

but now look at
what you've done.

The chaos, the disorder,
it's positively mesmerizing.

I helped.

- Scram.
- But...

On behalf of our museum,

I officially declare
you true artists.

So tell us, what
was your motivation?

Uh, hunger.

- Brilliant!
- Bravo!

Speaking of hunger,

does anyone know the way
to big Bernice's bug buffet?

If you do, carry us in
that direction, will you?

We're starved!