02x04 - Wide Awake in Wonderland/Zazu's Off-by-One Day

[bunniefuu]

♪ Hakuna matata ♪

♪ what a wonderful phrase ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ ain't no passing craze ♪

♪ it means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's our problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ yeah! ♪

♪ Hakuna matata! ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa! ♪

♪ Hakuna matata! ♪

♪ It means no worries ♪

♪ for the rest of your days ♪

♪ it's our problem-free ♪

♪ philosophy ♪

♪ hakuna matata ♪

♪ Timon and Pumbaa ♪

Uh, Timon...

Why didn't we bring any tools?

You know, uh, shovels and picks

and other digging things
for digging up the gold

that we're out here looking for.

Pumbaa, let me
explain gold mining.

You simply pick up the
gold and say, "this is mine!"

Hence the term, "gold mining."

Ohh.

Now, onward, Pumbaa!
Let nothing deter us

from our destiny with
wealth and riches!

♪ She'll be comin'
round the mountain ♪

♪ she'll be comin'
round the mountain ♪

♪ she'll be comin'
round the mountain ♪

♪ when she comes ♪

Refrigeration!

♪ Yodel-lay-eee-hoo ♪

A warthog and a meerkat

have fallen victim to the harsh,
yet comical, arctic weather.

Don't worry! I'll save you!

Thank you for saving our lives.

You must be the
nicest man I've ever met.

Nice hat.

Well, I am courteous quint.

The most polite, considerate,
and trustworthy citizen

this side of the klondike river.

Timon, don't you want
to thank the nice man

for saving our lives?

No. I don't trust
him. He's too nice.

Courteous quint, my
eye. Just look at that hat.

What's he doing
out here, anyways?

Maybe we should ask him.

Pumbaa... you don't just ask
someone what they're doing.

You got to be sneaky and
try and weasel it out of them.

Watch me while I weasel.

So... nice weather
we're having, eh?

Unequivocally.

This is exquisite
weather for gold

mining, which is what
I'm out here doing.

I am a gold miner. I mine gold.

See? All you have to do is ask.

- Gold mining!
- Yes.

Unfortunately, courteous quint
must confess that in 50 long years

of wandering the frozen tundra

I've found nothing.

Where did I go wrong?

I've got all the shovels and
picks and other things necessary

for digging up gold.

What I really
need is, uh... uh...

A piece of paper

that shows the mountains, rivers,
and other topographical land forms.

Maybe with a grid,

and a little thingy indicating
north, south, east, and west.

You mean, like one of these?

Pumbaa.

Precisely!

And look,

it even shows where there's a
mountain crammed full of gold!

Fellas...

We're gonna be rich!

Correction. Pumbaa
and I are going to be rich,

'cause it's our map,
therefore, our gold.

But we can't get our gold
without the nice man's equipment.

And besides, he saved our lives.

I say we team up with him.

Wait a minute. Why don't
we use his equipment?

You know, having shovels and
picks and other things to dig up gold

might not be such a bad idea.

- Welcome aboard!
- Yay!

♪ Yodel-lay-ee-hoo ♪

- Eureka!
- We've found it!

It's the mountain
crammed full of gold!

Warning! These old mines are
a haven for gigantic polar bears

that could swallow you whole.

For your own safety, let
courteous quint go in first.

Okay.

Not so fast!

You might be able to snow Pumbaa with
the Mr. Politeness routine, but not me!

Oh. Ohh!

Uh, what are you saying?

I'm saying uh-uh.
I'm going in first.

Ooh-hoo-hoo! A ton of gold!

And not one ounce of polar bear.

Polar bear! Polar bear! Polar bear!
Polar bear! Polar bear! Polar bear!

Polar bear! Polar
bear! Polar bear!

Timon!

We'll save you!

Cowabunga!

I apologize in advance for the rather
uncourteous thing I am about to do.

Wow! Wasn't that great how the
nice man helped save your life, Timon?

Wasn't it? Wasn't it? Wasn't it?

Yeah, Pumbaa.

You know, that's just the sort of
thing that makes you wanna trust a guy.

So, do you trust him now?

- Do ya?
- No.

Calamity!

Wow! The nice man
saved your life again, Timon!

Now do you trust him?

No.

Say, Timon, uh... could you
please bring me those scissors?

These scissors? Sure thing.

Hey, look at me!

I'm carrying scissors and
running around the pool.

Ha ha! Yeah, boy!

Hee hee!

Discontinue!

Never ever, ever, run around a swimming
pool with scissors in your hand!

You'll trip, poke your eyes out,
crack your head open, and drown.

Wow!

The nice man saved your
life again! Again, Timon!

Now do you trust him?

No. And the next two
words out of your mouth

had better not be, "but, Timon."

Buh... rrr. Tmph. Wigit.

Bbbbbb... but Timon!

I just don't understand why
you don't trust the nice man!

Because he's too nice, that's why!
Anybody that nice is up to something

like stealing all
the gold for himself!

That's the only reason
he's saving my life.

He wants my gold!

Timon, I think there's
something wrong with you.

One for Pumbaa, and one for Timon.
One for quint, and one for the meerkat.

One for Pumbaa, and
one for the little guy.

One for quint, and one for me.

Idea! Why don't we
keep all the gold together,

and split it up once
we get to town?

Okay, fine by me.

And I'll guard it!

Mmm-mmm. Daddy gonna
keep you safe and warm.

Yes, baby. Oh. Mmm.

Departure!

It's time for us
to hit the trail.

Huh?! What's that?

I don't like the
looks of that owl!

Did you hear that?! What was it?

The wind.

I don't trust it.

And I don't trust that tree or that
shrub or the ground we're walking on!

Aaaah!

Timon! Pumbaa!

Pull us up! Up!

You're too heavy!

You've got to throw me the gold!

Throw you the gold! Never!

Well, you gotta trust him,
or we're gonna fall and die!

No! It's a trick.
I just know it is,

an insidious, dastardly,
and cunning trick!

But remember, he saved you from
the polar bear and from the cave in,

and he even saved us both

when we fell victim to the
harsh and comical arctic weather.

Can't hand over
gold... but must!

We'll fall if I
don't... but can't!

Oh, okay!

Aaah!

You fools!

I can't believe you fell for that
c*ck "courteous" malarkey!

I am, in reality...
claim-jumper quint!

The most insidious,
dastardly, and cunning

gold thief in the
entire arctic circle!

And now the gold's
mine! All mine!

Look!

So long, suckers!

You're under arrest.

Why?

Yay! Oh, wow.

The nice man wasn't such a
nice man after all, huh, Timon?

But at least we learned

that you can always trust
your bestest best friend.

No kidding, pal.

And you know what? We're
quitting the gold-mining business.

- We are?
- You bet we are.

Why even if a billionaire popped
up, handing us the key to fort Knox,

and said, "here you go,
fellas, help yourselves."

We'd say, "no way, Jose."

Hey, Timon, there you are.

Would you look at what I got...

lunch in a log.

I couldn't find you anywhere,

so I got it to go.

Slimy, yet savory.

Later, Pumbaa, as in "not now."

You mean to tell me you're
not interested in eating bugs?

Nope. I'm interested in them.

Uh... you want to
eat the pink birds?

But they've got those
long, bony, backwards legs

and those big, crooked beaks,

and I hear they don't
even taste like chicken.

I don't want to
eat them, Pumbaa,

I want to find out what
they're doing out there.

They've been standing around
on that sandbar for hours.

I'm courteous.

Uh, don't you mean curious?

Of course I meant curious.

I just said courteous to, uh,
to remind you how polite I am.

Now shut up and listen to me!

Those flamingos out
there are up to something.

Why else would they all
be standing around like that?

They could be planning a big
party with spotlights and disco music

and fireworks and conga lines.

Or they could just
be standing around.

But what if they're not
just standing around?

Don't you get it, Pumbaa?

What if there's
something out there.

- But what if there isn't?
- But what if there is?

That means we're
missing out on it.

So?

So I just can't stand not knowing
what it is we're missing out on.

I got to find out
what's out there.

Oh, Timon, how exactly, specifically
are you going to get over all the water

and all the way out there?

Simple, Pumbaa.

Name something that floats.

Uh... ooh... a boat?

No, Pumbaa, something else.

A bigger boat.

Something else.

An even bigger boat?

No, Pumbaa, not a boat!
Ducks! Ducks! Ducks! Ducks!

Well, I still think the
boat was a good answer.

Stop that mindless mumbling and observe
as I gently float out to the sandbar

and find out what those
scheming flamingos are hiding.

Uh, perhaps I should
get a running start?

Or use a boat.

Quiet!

Clearly, there must be a
better way of getting out there

rather than strapping
ducks to my feet.

Like, say... a boat?

Don't interrupt, Pumbaa.
I'm making a point.

Now, our little duck
friends gave me an idea,

and I'll give you a
hint as to what it is.

Ahem. What do birds have
that you and I do not have?

Feathers?

Guess again.

Beaks?

Guess again.

Claws?

No, Pumbaa. Guess once more.

Nests?

- One more guess.
- Eggs?

No.

- Intelligence?
- No.

- Girlfriends?
- No!

Wings!

Wings, wings, wings.

Wings are how the
flamingos got out there,

and wings are how I'm
going to get out there, too.

I still think they're
just standing around.

Well, you're wrong, Pumbaa.

They're sneaking, scheming,
conniving flamingos.

Now... Start my wings.

Contact!

It's working,
Pumbaa. I'm flying.

I'm flying!

Now, at last, I can find out
what those flamingos are doing.

Ohh!

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Timon?

Whaaaaaaa!

Let's see, there's got to be
some way of getting out there.

Why don't you use a small open
vessel that moves across bodies of water

by means of oars,
sails, or engine?

Why mess with all that, Pumbaa,
when I can use a boat instead?

Errrr!

Uhh.

Uh, are you sure you don't want
me to wait on the shore, Timon?

And have my bestest best pal miss out
on whatever it is we're missing out on?

I wouldn't hear of it!
Besides, you got to steer.

Now, start the motor.

Uhh!

Come on, come on, come on.
The secret of the flamingos awaits.

Uhh!

Pumbaa.

Aah!

Good job, Pumbaa!

Ooh, good job, Pumbaa.

Hard to port. Hard to port!

Aah!

Timon, we're gonna
drown! We're gonna drown!

Stop screaming
like a baby, Pumbaa,

and help me get this water out!

It's no use! We're gonna
drown! We're gonna drown!

Maybe you should drill a
hole and let the water out.

I know, I'll drill a hole
and let the water out.

I don't think that was a very
good idea of yours, Timon.

Ooh! Eee! Aah!

There!

We're in trouble.

I guess this is it, old pal.

This is what?

This is it, I.E., the end
of Timon and Pumbaa.

Oh.

Eh, Pumbaa, you probably
shouldn't leave everything to me,

'cause I'm gonna drown, too.

Oops! Sorry.

Good-bye, bestest best friend.

Good-bye, bestest best friend.

Gee, Timon, all this
water out here is shallow.

I can see that, Pumbaa.

And you were going to all that
trouble to get across the water...

Yes, I know.

When you could have just walked
across all this water easy as pie?

Yes, I know.

Easy as falling off a
log? Easy as spitting?

Easy as saying "Jack Robinson"?

Easy as one, two,
three? Easy as...

Yes, I know, Pumbaa!
Now, chop, chop!

It's time we find out what
those flamingos are up to.

All right, flamingos,

you've been standing
out here all day,

and I have a sneaking
suspicion you're up to something.

Psst. Maybe they really are just
standing around out here, Timon.

But they can't be just
standing around, Pumbaa,

not after all the trouble I
went through to get out here!

Don't play the
silent game with me.

Now, out with it! What
are you doing out here?

What are you hiding?

Come on, fess up, talk!

What are you doing out here? You
all think you're so high and mighty.

But I know you're up to
something. What is it? Tell me.

I got to know! I got to know!

Tell me! Tell me! Tell me!

Tsk tsk tsk tsk tsk.

Come on, Timon.

Let's leave the
pink birds alone.

You know what, Pumbaa?

I should never have let my
curiosity get the best of me.

Looks like those flamingos really
were just standing around out there.

For once I was finally right.

Are they gone?

Yeah, they're gone.