02x02 - Cold Blood, Warm Hearts/The Spider and the Flies

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[Scary laughter]

Hello, boo-gie boys

And scathing beauties.

There's nothing like spending

A day at the beach making sand

Caskets.

Help yourself to a sand-wich

While I begin today's ghostal

Terror tale.

Did someone say sand...

Huh?

Ooof!

Witch?

Ha-ha-ha!

Guess whoooooo!

It's your oldie moldy

Ms. Of the whiz biz, the olddd

Witch!

Ha-ha-ha!

Hoo-hoo!

[Smooch!]

And I guess that proves I'm

This show's number one spook

Story spinner.

Hee-hee-hee!

Phewy!

Over my buried body.

I'm in the mood

For something... Uh, romantic

A girl meets monster story.

I got a real zinger for ya.

I call it "cold blood, warm"

Hearts."

[Smooch!]

Whoo-hoo!

Whoaaa!

Dude, help!

Ohhh!

Chill, dude, we got you.

Orca burgers tonight!

Ha-ha!

Okay, harrison, slow 'er

Down.

Yee-haw!

All right, my excellent

Fisher dudes.

On the count of three.

One...

Two...

Three... Huh?

Uh, dudes?

Did we get him.

The line!

Aaahhh!

Whooooaaaaa!

Oh, not the boat!

Not the boat!

Whooooaaaaa!

We're outta here!

A swarm of unwanted

Publicity surrounds culver bay

As the sighting of an unknown

Sea creature has locals

In a state of terror.

In an attempt to keep things

Under control, the sheriff's

Office has scheduled a press

Conference at the town hall.

Local fisherman and legend,

Mack ryker, has vowed to hunt

Down the monster.

All right, folks.

Settle down, please.

We're doing everything we can.

What exactly are you doing,

Sheriff.

Whatever it is, it won't be

Enough... Not until that

Monster is found

And destroyed.

Has anyone alerted

The department of

Oceanography?

Has it occurred to any

Of you that your monster may

Be an injured whale

Or a dolphin?

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

If you're here to save

Something, missy, you can save

Your breath.

Heh-heh-heh!

I just think we should find

Out what it is before we...

What it is, missy, is

A creature strong enough

To rip a hole in the front end

Of a packard sea cruiser.

It ain't no hoop-jumping

Dolphin from some underwater

Theme park.

It's a beast from the pit

Of darkness, and I'm gonna

Catch it, dead or alive.

Listen, we have to be

Reasonable.

You can't destroy something

You know nothing about!

I need a boat.

Anyone?

Anybody?

Ohhh.

They're just afraid.

But there's nothing out there,

So there's nothing to be

Afraid of.

You can see for yourself.

I have a boat.

Great!

See?

What did I tell you?

There's nothing out here.

If there's nothing out

Here, what ripped that sea

Cruiser apart?

[Banging]

Huh, what was that?

[Gasp!]

A paint can.

There's something out there

That's gonna get stuffed

And mounted before anyone even

Knows what it is.

I know these waters better

Than anyone.

There's nothing out here.

[Gasp!]

[Gasp!]

Say, either of you two kids

See a sea monster?

[Camera clicks]

We're going back.

Evening, missy.

Save any fish today?

Ha-ha-ha-ha!

Good night.

Ha-ha-ha...

Ah-ha-ha-ha!

It's a beast from the pit

Of darkness, and I'm gonna

Catch, it dead or alive!

Aaah!

Ha-ha-ha!

This looks about right.

All right, you, stand where

You... You?

What do you think?

Put those down!

Gladly.

Missy, you've just stepped

Over the line.

The sea is a dangerous place.

Lots of accidents can happen

To nosey little trouble-makers

Like you.

[Beeping]

The sonar!

Come on, closer.

Closer...

Now!

Will ya take a look at that!

Happy landings, mate.

Ha-ha-ha!

Ha-ha-ha!

Come on, charlie, give us

A smile.

Aaah!

Uhh!

Grrrrrr!

[Gasp!]

I said I was going to catch

You one way or another.

Nooo!

Hah!

Ha-ha-ha!

Ooof!

Where do you think you're

Going?

To help her?

And who's gonna help you?

Huh?

Well, I'll be!

You're a bigger freak than

I thought.

Ha-ha-ha!

Looks like I just caught me

A lifetime circus act.

Ah-ha-ha-ha!

[Monster shrieking]

Helllppp!

Oh, please.

Oh, please.

Oh, no!

Aaahhh!

Boo.

Ohhh!

I thought I was the only

One.

So did i.

That's why when I heard, I had

To come... To find you, to be

With you.

Where you belong.

Let's go home.

Ohhh... Hmmm.

Ahhh... So, the real

Monsters were the people who

Wanted to destroy the sea

Creatures just because

They were different.

Live and let live is what

I always say.

Hee-hee!

Isn't that right, crypty?

Crypty?

Cryyyyyyypty!

At last!

I've managed to flee that

Fleabag.

And that show-stealing shrew's

Sorry story.

It could certainly use some

Revamping.

Here, let me try to make it up

To you by spinning a truly

Gory story.

Here's a sincerely sinister

Scenario I call..."The spider

And the flies."

Hee-hee-hee!

Yuck!

Double yuck!

Triple yuck!

Typical little sister

Reaction.

You have to understand, sal,

This is a very rare spider.

No, you have to understand,

Simon.

This is a very yucky spider.

Sally, sally, sally.

That is just the reaction

People with narrow minds have

When they don't understand

Something.

Now, a scientific mind like

Mine... Aaahhh!

Oh, yuck!

Sally!

I was making some pies.

Look, until mom and dad get

Back from uncle jed's

Tomorrow, I'm supposed to be

Looking after you.

No, I'm supposed to look

After you, simon.

Whatever.

Let's just get one rule

Straight, okay?

No more pie recipes,

And no crossed fingers.

Okay, simon, I promise.

Why couldn't I have had

A little brother instead

Of a little sister?

Little brothers play

With spiders... They don't

Make pies... Especially when

That spider happens to be one

Of a kind.

Aaahhh!

Aaahhh!

Aaahhh!

Aaahhh!

Aaahhh...

Aaahhh!

Oh, no!

Look out!

Aaahhh!

Those critters... They're

Talking over the whole town!

What are we going to do?

Don't ask me.

You're the mayor.

Everyone, into the town

Hall!

Good people, understand

This.

There is nowhere to hide.

What do you know

About this.

Only that it is both

Our good fortunes that i,

And I alone, have the power

To purge this pestilence

From your fair town... Forever.

Yeah?

And I think you've been out

In the sun too long, mister!

Into the hall!

Mr. Mayor, a night huddled

In terror may change

Your minds.

Be warned... To get your town

Back will cost you... Dearly.

You have 'till sun-up.

Oooh... That guy's really

I creepy.

Sal!

Sally!

Add one cup of milk.

Hmm, what could I use

For sugar?

Aaahhh!

I thought we agreed...

No more pies.

It's cake.

Cake?

Well, this time you got

Your cake all over

You and my bench.

Eew, you stink!

This time you clean it up.

I've got some investigating

To do.

What kind of investigating,

Simon.

A stranger showed up

Outside the hall.

What kind of stranger,

Simon.

The strangest stranger I've

Ever seen.

Ah-ha!

There's something about him,

Sally, and I'm gonna find out

What it is.

I'll come, simon.

Simon?

You've got a mess to clean

Up.

I want this place put back

Just like it was, and no more

Mud pies.

It's cake!

Aaahhh!

Aaahhh!

"Come into my parlour" said

The spider to the fly.

Ha-ha-ha!

Aaahhh...

Simon?

Simon?

Simon?

Simon?

Simon?

If you're trying to scare me,

Simon, it's not gonna...

Aaahhh!

Aaahhh!

Simon!

Why, you yucky spiders!

You leave him alone.

Get off!

Get off!

That's right, run, you scaredy

Cats!

Booga, booga!

Simon!

They were gonna get me, simon,

But I chased them away.

I just went, "booga, booga",

Booga", and then they all ran

Away.

[Sniff, sniff].

Ohhh... I don't think it was

You they were afraid of, sal.

You mean...

It's your recipe.

Aaah!

Help me, sal!

We don't have much time!

Well, are you ready to pay,

Or endure another night like

Last night?

We'll pay, whatever it

Takes.

Gold!

Jewellery!

Everything you've got!

Everything?

Everything!

Ha-ha-ha!

Wait!

What's going on, simon?

Don't worry, sir.

We can handle this.

You're a very bad man!

Away!

He let the spiders loose

Here so everyone would pay him

To get rid of them.

It's true, but nothing has

Changed.

Seeeeee?

They're waiting.

Ha-ha-ha!

I'm still the only one who can

Rid you of your plague.

He's right, simon.

Ha-ha-ha-ha...

No, he ain't!

Take a look at this, mister.

I hate to give you the bad

News, mister, but your furry

Little friends can't stand

This stuff.

What?

Give me that!

No, it's my secret recipe!

Let go!

Let go!

Ooooowwww!

You know, sal...

I've changed my mind.

You're just about the best

Little brother a kid could

Have.

And I can cook, too.

Boy, it looks like sally

Really bugged that spider

Creature.

But at least simon finally

Learned that having a little

Sister was not so bad.

So there you are.

Hee, hee-hee, hee-hee!

I've been hexpecting you.

But forget it... You're not

Going to invade my territory

This time.

Huh.

Wave bye-bye!

Aaahhh!

Send me a ghost card,

Witchy.

I'll be baaaaaack!

Whoever said you couldn't

Get rid of warts?

Ah-ha-ha-ha...

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