01x60 - Generation Hex

[bunniefuu]

[Applause]

[Music]

who

[Music]

she's knows

[Applause]

she's

[Music]

thanks for coming in mrs jonathan i'll

have this road rocket shinier than a hey

well a really shiny thing in no time and

all proceeds go to the library this is

very commendable of you sabrina it's

wonderful that you've taken it upon

yourself to help save the greendale

library the place has definitely seen

better days

yow cow it's my pleasure mr nanan i'll

come up with the 3 000 smackaroos for

the library in no time you know everyone

needs a cause well best of luck

thank you

next

[Music]

hmm pretty much sold every piece of junk

in the attic except this what is this

anyway ah

a souvenir from the old massachusetts

witch hunting days it's a supposed witch

repellent charm i bought it off a

pilgrim to give to hilda as a joke

apparently if you tap the stone three

times it'll make a witch lose her powers

for a full minute why would anyone want

to do that exactly that's why i was

trying to sell it hmm well if no one

else wants it i think it'll make a neat

ankle bracelet now for the bake sale

[Music]

sabrina did you bake this yourself i

sure did gem and all proceeds go to my

save our library fund

isn't that cute well i need to save my

money to purchase a vintage and very

expensive billy go boom boom collectors

doll there's only two left on earth

although i guess one little brownie is a

dollar a dollar

fine i'd like

whatever that stupid building full of

books is called as much as the next

person just give me a brownie

besides if you baked it i'm sure it's

good enough for

my dog

it's for a good cause it's for a good

car boy is the save our library

committee gonna be psyched when i give

him this wow and you made 300 more than

your goal and that's great brina most

commendable my fair hair compadre the

library needs some updating man

particularly their engineering and

science section my blueprints for the

future of transportation are most

complex the future of transportation api

my science class project

someday we'll ride on rails of

frictionless anti-flux matter or

solar-powered steep repulsion or simple

inertia power

simple

someday in the future i'll be riding

pies inventions to my awesome

challenging and high-paying job cool pie

hopefully you'll change the future of

transportation by the time i get my

driver's license hey harvey uh harvey

cartoon mayhem

billy be thy name

holy monkeys it's beautiful a real live

billy go boo boom the beaver collectible

doll oh i heard there's only two on

earth uh guys it's just a toy just a toy

look at it it's a work of art it's

awesome a classic an antique like from

the early 1990s

whoa man i must get a closer look

uh excuse us we couldn't help noticing

the billy go boom boom collectible doll

yeah yeah how much is it going for

200.00

200 clowns i fold man well it's gonna

make some lucky collector really happy

whoa it sure will we grew up watching

billy go boom boom yeah we imitated many

of his impossibly zany cartoon antics

and had a blast i think it's safe to say

we are what we are today because of

billy go boom boom and that is

well certainly not the crude stereotype

afforded our generation yeah you know

spoiled shallow competitive sl*ves to

instant gratification using cross

material well to one up our peers

chad there's some bratty girl on the

phone who wants to buy that billy go

boom boom dog her name's gemstone

no it's mine mine i want that doll the

stone kids offering 250 bucks i'll give

you 300

[Music]

sabrina where are you gonna get that

kind of money

[Music]

take that gemstone but you don't even

like billy go boom boom i do now it's

never too late to start collecting

things especially if they're things gem

wants oh i don't know man the foul

stench of moral dilemma is wafting its

way to my psyche man oh come on you guys

i earned this it's like a reward for all

my hard work i made that spare 300 bucks

what does it hurt it may not hurt now

but this just seems like one of those

things that'll come back to haunt you

haunt me

yeah cause it's wrong look guys this was

extra money even if it was extra money

it still belongs to the library mega

dude that hard man the public put money

in your jars to help the library not to

support the one up gem fund well see you

later my disingenuous compadre yeah

later sabs huh come on guys sometimes

things just fall into your lap accept it

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

we're all very proud of you you've done

a wonderful thing for the whole town and

for future generations you ankle quickly

thanks

good night sabrina

i'm uh proud of me too

[Music]

huh

[Music]

hey kids what time is it

[Music]

it's supreme

boom boom time billy go boom boom you

you're alive

hey

what's the big idea you're a toy yeah

normally yes but tonight i'm playing a

different role the role of your

conscience

but you're just a doll

doll small

i'm still your conscience well as weird

as this is i guess if you're my

conscience then you're probably not

going to hurt me

well

i won't

but i must warn you the truth can hurt

i assume you know why i'm here big duh

it's because i bought you with the extra

money from the fundraiser bingo

you bought me

with somebody else's money

someone else's look paddle tishi i

raised all that money myself i worked

hard so there was a little extra money i

earned that money and what are you

pointing your beaver paw at and you're

not stuck in that dusty store window

getting bleached in the sun or worse

living on a shelf at gemstones house so

everybody wins so can i get back to

sleep please

sheesh it's not like my buying a stupid

toy altered the future of mankind or

anything

goodnight

uh morning at last no more weird dreams

for me billy go boom boom go bye-bye

huh

my house what happened to my house

it burned down what

you're still here in the fur

this house burned down long after your

family moved out your uncle quickly did

some rewiring he couldn't find the home

improvement book he needed apparently

the library didn't have it and as you

can see

uncle quigley's handiwork wasn't exactly

this old house but i was in this house

last night

last night was around 40 years ago 40

years

welcome to the future kiddo a lot's

happened since then come on i'll show

you we'll take the pie in the sky

transportation system

whoa i bet this whole system was

invented by my old pal pai

he was always tinkering with ideas for

futuristic transportation

welcome aboard ladies and germs

pie that's right young lady the inventor

of the pie in the sky transportation

system and now

hang on everyone

next stop

greendale center

[Music]

excuse me mister

hi

please take your seat young lady

no standing when the pie in the sky

transportation system is in motion

very dangerous

yeah i could tip over from four of them

what happened to your futuristic

transportation ideas anti-flux magnet

rails perpetual motion gyro engines

solar-powered hydroelectric steam

propulsion and all that

job do i remember yeah a long time ago

but i remember going to our old library

couldn't find any new books on the

subject

seems our library couldn't update its

reading material

a few dollars shortened funds or

something

this was the most futuristic

transportation mode i could uncover

battle power well maybe it's dated young

lady but it gets us there

eventually

good grief he had so much potential if

only pi had found a more updated book on

transportation yes interesting isn't it

one book can make such a difference yeah

i guess it could but come on that's just

one mix-up others in my generation had

to do better than pie right you mean

like harvey yeah he must have his

awesome challenging high-paying job by

now why don't you ask him

yuck what is that smell

harvey

do i know you well no but well

what are you doing here are you kidding

miss obviously i'm curling pigtails it's

the only thing i'm qualified to do um

how'd you end up here a long time ago at

the greendale library i needed a book on

applying to lawyers hospital university

i wanted to become a doctor lawyer so i

could sew suture and sue at the same

time

unfortunately the library didn't have

the book i needed so

well

i failed the entrance exam didn't uh

have a book huh

then i remembered some advice a very

successful friend of mine gave me a long

time ago she said sometimes things fall

into your lap well it worked for her so

i figured it would work for me and after

a number of years this job did fall into

my lap

pigtail curling yeehaw i'm styling well

we better be heading off well i better

get back to work

i'd hate to lose my job

it's sad how different things could have

been if the library only had a few more

books

say

three hundred dollars worth so 300.

[Music]

[Applause]

salem look i don't recognize you but

you're barking up the wrong tree huh not

you the poodle he's barking up the wrong

tree

go bark over at that tree i'm talking

here

i hate dogs

now as far as you go if i owe you money

you'll just have to get in line this is

my first job in years i'm tapped and

even had to sell my fuzzy toy collection

a long time ago i got nothing here and

you're still a cat i thought by now

you'd be turned back into a warlock ha

i lost that chance years ago when

sabrina spellman sold me out

started skimming cash from my kitty

litter allowance

one day in desperation i used what i

believe to be an outdoor cat box how did

i know it was a sand trap at the witch's

council's favorite golf course

they never forgave me

and it's all sabrina's fault

but i'm sabrina spellman yeah right and

i'm the newest member of menudo

whoa they're still around

what about the sabrina what happened to

her she's

gone good god that's right

god no

[Music]

what happens to me

it's not pretty oh no i know what

happens to me do you sabrina

look

gazed upon your future

[Music]

the gravestone it's it's mine right

gravestone

no silly that's just a halloween

decoration some kids made up look behind

the cardboard gravestone

i own my own building well yeah many in

fact

one here in greendale your corporate

headquarters

corporate headquarters woohoo i rock

come on let's go see how cool i am

see billy i always knew i'd make it so

i'm obviously rich and powerful i bet

i'm a major babe too right why don't you

uh ask yourself here you come now

how rude but at least i have a limo

wow i must be real important come on

let's say hello to me

sorry miss no one's allowed to see miss

spellman without an appointment

just let me speak to her i'm an old

friend

i'm sorry to bother you miss spellman

there's an annoying little girl in a

kind of dumb looking fat squirrel

beaver oh my bad a kind of dumb looking

bloated beaver what do they want i don't

know

what they want

[Music]

so

why did you tell her i mean yourself the

one secret only i would know about me

that i'm a half witch and by now i she

we should have full use of my magical

powers

welcome miss spellman

i'm not sure what your little game is so

name your price

anyone who knows my secret also knows

that i sold off my half-share of witch

powers as

part of a corporate merger that was

highly classified you sold our magic

powers yes

my cat tried to talk me out of it but

what happened to you oh i've always been

like this very successful

except when i was your age at like 12

back then i cared more about

people pretty silly huh

but i uh wised up one day when i raised

some money for a library right oh

i learned when you get away with the

little things you can probably pull off

big things a fudge here a cheek there a

little skim off the top here then but

that's stealing so

what it's not about people it's about

stuff

and i've got all the stuff a girl would

want how could you sell your magic well

you know when someone buys out your

company you have to give up some things

miss spellman chairman stone is here

chairman's dog oh

my uh the boss is here

look busy are you actually polishing

jem's

i'm coming in spelman i own you now

yikes i guess gem also bought my good

looks ah i see you've hired a new office

janitor

you remind me of someone

someone really annoying she is annoying

isn't she misstone

but i'm not you like me right well

i used to despise you when we were

younger because i was jealous of you but

then you found your way to my side you

became like me

then i lost all respect for you thanks

jim

stop groveling sabrina why would you

want to be like gems she's icky icky

how dare you

your little janitor is fired

take her away

oh no let me go i'm not going without

myself i don't want me to end up like

this it's a little too late isn't it

sabrina

you made your choice a long time ago

when you bought that doll

it was the beginning of the end so you

do know who i am of course i have your

powers you sold them to me and now that

you're here again

i can double my powers

what are you doing

draining your magic your half witch

powers are no match for me

no losing strength you can feel powers

leaving

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

that's my name don't wear it out that's

salem all right body of a cat the

charity of a six-year-old

this way

why are you saving me

the place behind my ear that i like to

have scratched no one knows that i

figured you must be sabrina the good

sabrina that i knew here to fix the past

oh salem you're the best

uh-oh

we gotta jump

[Applause]

[Music]

[Applause]

[Music]

oh salem am i glad to see you i owe you

this

me likey

but i bought it yesterday for three

hundred dollars ah billy go boom boom's

old hat today i'll give you 75

uh all right you got yourself a deal

what a rip-off

don't be too hard on yourself 75 is

still 75 more than what the library

expected yeah yeah i guess it is

no it's not salem i'm still 225 short

come on it's back to work

[Music]

ooh

i just love my billy go boom boom doll

and could you believe i got it for only

500.

don't you wish you had one sabrina oh

that's right you could never afford one

you have no idea jim tell you what

spelman for an extra dollar i'll let you

wash ruby it's a deal the library can

use every dime i make that's great he

was sprayed by a skunk this morning

[Music]

it's for a good cause it's for a good

cause

[Music]

[Music]

[Laughter]