03x05 - The Undergraduate

[bunniefuu]

oh let me tell you about my family

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when principal Halloran made a visit to

our classroom they usually met one of

two things either Blaine had been caught

mixing pencil shavings into the

cafeteria food again or they are having

a substitute mr. Lambert will not be

here this week now I want everyone on

their best behavior for Miss Robertson

top of the morning to you class chat

about the dress code let's say we begin

by introducing ourselves shall we

I'm Miss Robinson and that's me mr.

studious you really are stuck on aren't

you mr. studious why would you say that

because you just put all of your books

in my locker top of the morning down

every morning I was the only natural Sam

I thought the idea was to get rid of the

natural sand

my goodness you look handsome this

morning Louie is it class picture day

yes I dragged a comb through my hair and

suddenly it has to be class picture day

you'll have to change out of those fancy

duds after school coz we've got a

project to finish oh good you're finally

taking down mrs. dolmens Christmas

lights yeah right Andy I need your help

with my b*mb shelter besides you're the

oldest well Danny's the oldest Wang Chao

scam oh yeah sure dad I'll be right

there to help you have fun

need i say more you know Andy that dirt

hole in the yard has become a real

eyesore why don't we just fill it with

water and have a pool party and my farm

job there next thing you know you'll

want to be swimming with the enemy and

another thing I don't see how we're

going to squeeze all our neighbors in

there Andy we can't just leave them out

you know besides if the unspeakable

happens there's strength in numbers

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which is me you're here early crumpet

I'm more of a donut man myself

but I'll give it a shot it was a perfect

moment just me a crumpet and the woman

of my dreams morning miss Robertson oh

thank you Michael that's quite the

flower shop was out of my way

it's one of my dad's formaldehyde jars

he's a pathologist he's here for

safekeeping we wanted to break that be a

heartbreaker that wasn't the only one

trying to impress miss Robertson it's

two-ply thank you this morning I'd like

to introduce you to a very special

author his name is William Shakespeare

and he wrote some of the world's most

beautiful stories can anyone name one of

them um there's one about the guy and

other guy oh you must mean to Gentlemen

of Verona

well done Louie even though I didn't

know the answer I didn't feel silly miss

Robertson had a way of making me feel

special

I imagined she had the same effect on

the other boys I loved

Louie Louie just gonna tie my shoe

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let broom roll bring her flowers and

Scott formaldehyde jars I was gonna

learn Shakespeare and be Miss Robertson

stop

jeez a few men were in the trenches we'd

never finish that bridge over the river

kwai how about a break man it's pretty

heavy

sorry guys Flanagan was all out of

styrofoam bricks hey Anderson what are

you doing burying a bow back that's

exactly what we'll be laughing when the

big one here meanwhile we'll be sitting

pretty in our temperature-controlled

radiation-proof air nice bombs out

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after dad's brief career as an oil

tycoon the busted sewer pipe forced him

to venture into plumbing and since any

trip to the hardware store was

considered part of my formal education I

was recruited how's your b*mb shelter

coming along I drafted some of the

neighbors will have it finished in no

time I take a gander at my baby walnut

paneling track lighting sauna I'm

thinking you're moving in hey mister

flying again guys shanks bear around

here

Shakespeare you're not into that too my

oldest has them teaching that nonsense

down at the cedar no military academy

when I thought he was a military man he

is

he runs the joint so what's with the

Shakespeare well that's what I keep

asking him those kids should be learning

something useful like cooking riveting

or grading oh yeah Rama did a noble in

speaking of work are you gonna help the

old man with the shop you later

tomorrow tomorrow and tomorrow not

tomorrow today the enemy's wrath shall

wait my father for I must tend to issues

present an easier time understanding the

Germans in Salerno who's teaching him

this garbage anyway why the fair maiden

Miss Robertson teaching him the floors

reading three years why she took away

one of the arse

questions anyone why didn't Shakespeare

give anyone a normal name like Bob or

Phil or Ted or Cindy splendid question

Louie well I believe Romeo and Juliet

isn't more romantic title than Bob and

Juliet I'm glad to see you're taking

such an interest in your reading

Shakespeare stuff is so hard how's this

something's rotten in the state of

Denmark interesting interpretation can

anyone help mr. Glen out something's

rotten in the state of Denmark heaven

will direct it very impressive for your

exceptional knowledge of Shakespeare

I can't things couldn't have been any

better really necessary Andy private

move your tail to the shelter double

time pitiful just pitiful officially

we're all goners good maybe now we can

all rest in peace

all right everybody spread out come on

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I thought this shelter was supposed to

protect us from the enemy

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friends Romans countrymen lend me your

ears

Windom what is he talking about what the

kids trying to say is that we need a

system families are the last things a

through em have the shelter Monday

Wednesdays and Fridays smart kid you got

there Andy come father yon breakfast

away well you sure are chipper this

morning person no I mean we're all your

helpers after last night's little Malkin

cookie party we decided it's every man

for himself so much for strength and

numbers wow you and I make too that's

all the numbers I need sorry dad I'm

busy I gotta finish my oatmeal and after

that I gotta brush up on my Shakespeare

the Shakespeare keep a roof over your

head and food on the table does

Shakespeare pay your allowance but Dad

I'm in the middle of King Henry before

I'm the king and King and II the first

says he needs to uneasy lies the head

that wears the crown and that means it

means go easy on your kids or they'll

take over your kingdom that's mutiny

Wow this is a surprise huh I haven't

seen you in what to roll hours I didn't

do it I swear you know the routine me

hardly think Shakespeare it's can't a

man can't run a family on it like that

mr. Anderson a family is a group of

people living together to offer one

another love support and understanding

not an elite tactical squadron well I

say she's filling his head with all

sorts ideas and it's your job to get rid

of her excuse me

make your calls hello miss Anderson let

me start by saying how much I enjoy

having you in my class

so you can greenwashing with all that

Shakespeare propaganda Shakespeare's

plays are hardly don't get me wrong

security he's got no respect for who's

boss and it ain't going over too good

with me ain't it's not a word mr.

Anderson what do you know anyway you're

a principal not a teacher

sound exactly like my father you must be

a military man fighting 5th regiment we

proud of it then I was an army brat

myself father there was a full-bird

Colonel well I'll bet my Purple Heart

for citations and three traffic

violations then he doesn't go for this

Shakespeare sound either contrary mr. a

he's a big fan especially Richard the

third Henry the fifth Macbeth anything

with a sword and

to Shakespeare run about w*r with a

marine or something

not exactly but you'd have a hard time

finding an author who wrote about Wars

vividly as William Shakespeare a horse a

horse my kingdom for a horse horse

widely just use a tank they didn't have

tanks in those days just bows arrows and

the occasional Louie dad is a Benedict

Arnold any chance of getting here to

replace Tyler in here excuse me these

crumpets keep coming up on me too so

what about it how about giving miss

Robertson oh I'm sorry mr. Anderson but

we just can't afford it but I know

someone who might be able to use you

full-time make some real done that would

be smashing my pal son runs the Cedar

Knoll military academy with that

interest you

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well it's nice to see you too what are

you doing here good news

I passed my stone worth miss Robertson

she's moved on now let's open our math

books and begin yeah Louie way to go

what you think monkey bars 3:30 and

don't be late King Louie here got miss

Robertson fired again not

why would Louie do a thing like that he

worshipped her well just to get my

belongings so you are leaving

they've offered me a full-time job at

the military academy place of course

you'll be 21 by then where's my little

room you know here tasty mom what's the

matter Louie

dad got miss Robertson fired

hey smart how was school today what's

the matter cat got your tongue to brood

what do you call me names for my

favorite teacher fired your father did

no such thing

you ruined my life he's gonna teach me

Shakespeare now it's not Shakespeare he

loves you dole OE everyone gets a crush

on a teacher at least once in their

lives I don't have a crush on her it's

hard when someone you like so much has

to go away isn't it one couldn't mr.

Lamberg be the one who got fired I can't

be Romeo if he's Juliet I remember when

my favorite art teacher left I thought I

would never enjoy life drawing again but

after a short time I noticed my drawings

became richer and more complicated and

there's somehow relates to me the truth

is I remembered what he taught me long

after he was gone my mom the point is

well I wouldn't be surprised at all if

Shakespeare became your favorite author

even without miss Robertson because of

Miss Robertson

how's your shelter coming along miss

Robertson I'm sorry my dad got you fired

your dad gave me the old heave-h* I mean

not at all oh he got me hired at the

academy full time and everything when I

thought mr. Lambert was coming back as

soon as he got well anyway your dad has

been a great help to me tell you what

anytime you get stuck you just come

round the academy and we'll figure it

out together how's that

absolutely toss me in the Thames if I

don't yeah

- my favorite king louie the first

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welcome and thanks again to you mr.

party that I shall say good night till

it be morrow

not bad reading Shakespeare sure I

thought any fellow who wrote a book

about w*r was worth taking a peek sorry

dad

I should have known you wouldn't have

done anything to hurt miss Robertson

she's a real peach makes pretty weak

coffee though so you ready to help the

old man with the shelter father knows

his own child dad and I finished the

b*mb shelter that afternoon there's

nothing like a good incentive hopefully

we never had to use it in fact two weeks

later we turned it into a pool for now

biggest in thine own backyard yon Hall

is always best suited for a swimming

pool and that's not Shakespeare that's

Louie

hey buddy Jenny don't burn me