02x19 - Good Samaritan

[bunniefuu]

♪ Look at what's
happened to me ♪

♪ I can't believe it myself ♪

♪ Suddenly I'm up
on top of the world ♪

♪ It should have
been somebody else ♪

♪ Believe it or not
I'm walking on air ♪

♪ I never thought I
could feel so free ♪

♪ Flying away on a
wing and a prayer ♪

♪ Who could it be ♪

♪ Believe it or
not it's just me ♪

♪ Just like the
light of a new day ♪

♪ It hit me from
out of the blue ♪

♪ Breaking me out
of the spell I was in ♪

♪ Making all of my
wishes come true ♪

♪ Believe it or not
I'm walking on air ♪

♪ I never thought I
could feel so free ♪

♪ Flying away on a
wing and a prayer ♪

♪ Who could it be ♪

♪ Believe it or
not it's just me ♪

♪ Who could it be ♪

♪ Believe it or
not it's just me ♪♪

10-4, Engine 98.

Battalion three, Engine
98 requests a second alarm.

Engine 41, come in on Elmtree
and check for explosions.

Okay, repeat. Repeat!

Request fire unit, Fourth and
Elmtree! Come on! Somebody wake up!

I'm sorry I interrupted
the spelling bee, Ralph.

I didn't get your message till I got to
the teacher's room. What's goin' on?

Well, we got two escaped lifers up
here, out of the federal pen this morning.

Obviously they don't care
how much trouble they get into.

They've been tossing
c*ck down the stairwell.

And the whole wall up there is
a flame. I can't get up the stairs.

They're probably trying to make
it across the roof. Hello? Hello?

No, not any more. Not
any more, not after this.

Go on. Go get
'em, kid. All right.

Get the... Yeah,
that's it. Oh, gee.

Go get 'em!

I could have sworn
that was a direct hit.

Looks like some kind of fireproof
suit. Hey, let's get out of here.

Engine 12 to Engine 27.

Truck eight, respond on a
second alarm with Engine 98.

Fourth and Elmtree.

Notify the Department of Water
and Power and the Gas Company...

that utilities have been cut...

Help me! Help! Please help me!

Help me! What is it?
Come on. What's the matter?

I can't... Judy! What?

Judy... she lives
down the hall from me!

Who? Judy. She can't see.

What's the matter? She's blind.

Okay. Medic, we got a
person on the street here.

No! Judy! All right.

Ta-da!

Somebody, help me!

Where'd you come from? Here. She should
probably see a doctor as soon as possible.

Bye. Uh... Uh... Uh, bye.

Get the stuff.

Judy! Judy!

Oh, thank God you're all right!

I fell. I fell from my window
and somebody caught me.

But you live on the fifth floor.

Somebody caught me. Eh, Mr...

Tanner. Uh, Da-Dave Tanner.

Feed this to the station.
We might have a hero here.

Yeah, well, you
know, she fell, and, uh,

like, I had to catch her.

Well, you know, a man...

A man don't always, uh,
know what he's capable of,

but then the time comes when you got to get
down to where the rubber meets the road.

And, uh... Well, this, of course,
here is a most difficult time.

Hey, Ro... Ralph, you there?

Gaah! I knew it. I knew it.

You're in on this too. Now what's
goin' on? It's nice to see you too, Bill.

Ralph, I've got your
tea. Guess who's here.

Every time Ralph gives me that
garbage on the phone about...

"I'll give you all the details
as soon as you get here,"

that means he can't tell me the
truth or I wouldn't show up at all.

Now, what's the bad
news? Oh, thanks a lot.

Forgot the honey again. What's
the matter with your voice?

I got laryngitis or somethin'.

That's that smoke inhalation,
Ralph. You got to be more careful.

Well, the doctor said it's only
temporary. How you doing?

Oh, I'm doing just terrific. I got
exactly 36 hours to find and apprehend...

those two firebugs who'd rather
die than go back inside the joint.

Why 36 hours, Bill?
That's ridiculous.

No, that's Carlisle. Just because
he says I didn't call for backup.

You know, when we had those two yahoos
cornered, and that's why they got away.

Well, did you call for backup,
Bill? He called the suit for backup,

which is why I wanted you guys to come
over here and what I wanted to talk about.

When I lost the
booklet out in the desert,

I think our main concern at that point
was finding out how the suit worked,

and I think we might have overlooked
the most important chapter in the booklet,

which was the uses for the suit.

I mean, we really don't know why I was given
the suit, or what I was supposed to do with it.

Ralph, we're supposed to bag bad
guys with it. That's real simple, isn't it?

Well, maybe, Bill. But take a look at
these things that I have circled here.

Like this one about the people that were
saved that were on the raft for three days.

Here: "Trapped mud slide victims
tunneled to safety by neighbors."

And another one
right there. Whoa.

"Ticonderoga, Preakness favorite,
up for a million dollar deal." No kiddin'.

That's not circled.
No, but still...

Wait. Here's one about
the airline passenger...

who saw a stalled car blinking
an S.O.S. from a snowbank.

She reported it
to the stewardess,

the pilot radioed ahead,
and the family was saved.

- You know what these are, Bill?
- Yeah, they're called
junk fillers, Ralph.

No. No, no, no. These are human interest
items. They are people saving people.

I mean, that's what it's all about. I
mean, that's what I've always wanted to do.

That's what I do best. That's why I became
a teacher. Bill, let's think a minute.

Why did the
extraterrestrial beings...

give us... give me... the suit?

I don't know anything about
international espionage or high-tech crime.

You're gonna have to put some
more honey in your tea, Ralph.

You're about to lose it
altogether. Boys and girls,

can we please try to
remember, if we may.

I was there... in the desert... when the ship
came down, gave us the suit... us the suit.

It wasn't, uh, Ann Landers. It could
have been, but it wasn't. It was me.

Uh, the extracurricular whatchamacallits
that you're talkin' about, whoever they are,

they had something in mind, you
know, when they put me with you.

Yes, but there's got to be
some kind of a balance. No!

You know, Bill, we've spent
all this time favoring your side.

I think it is time we start concentrating
on what Ralph thinks is important.

Yes. We're talking about
improving the quality of life.

Oh, I see. I get it now.

You mean, pulling the
kitty cat out of the tree.

Maybe you want to go
and save the whales.

- If I can, yes.
- Ralph, I'm sorry,

but when I saw that
ship, or whatever it was...

that came down on the
desert and gave us that suit,

I cannot possibly in
my wildest imagination...

think that it was from the
Intergalactic A.S.P.C.A.

No. Well, let me
put it to you this way.

You're gonna volunteer
your services to us,

or I stop helping in your
crime-fighting activities.

Wha... That's not
voluntary. That's... That's...

Blackmail.

Well put.

Well, we've been driving
around for an hour and a half now,

haven't found one beached whale.

I can't believe it. There's got to
be some possibilities out there.

Oh, possibilities.
Are you kiddin'?

You got possibilities here.
Look at this. Oh, yeah.

See these that you've circled
here. These are wonderful.

"Man gets tie caught
in candy machine."

I love that one. But my favorite
is this one. Counselor, see this?

"Man builds boat in
basement. Doors too small."

Ralph, you can just fly right over
there and stuff it in a bottle for him.

I guess it's been kind
of a slow day, all right?

Yeah, for sob stories, maybe. But
not for catching bad guys, never.

Wow. What do you got?

Neiman Marcus is having a sale.

That's real.

Very funny. You guys don't have
to with me if your heart isn't in it.

- I never would have guessed.
- Wait a minute, guys. Listen to that.

Sheriff's deputies have reluctantly
surrounded the condemned residence...

where the elderly man has defied all
attempts to force him to vacate the home,

which is the final obstacle to
the proposed airport expansion...

which will encompass
most of the area.

The home's owner has
consistently refused...

to acknowledge the
city's condemnation order,

and early today he fired
several shots at police officers...

stating that he would rather die
before he gave up his home of 40 years.

That's it. An old man struggling to
save his home from the establishment.

Ralph, this guy has
discharged firearms...

at duly appointed officers of the
law... Come on! Come on! Let's go.

Come on. He's not
a worthy candidate.

I'll be the judge
of that, all right?

One, left. Two,
right. Three, follow.

Twelve Mary 86, and 12 Mary 87.

Twelve Mary 86, and 12 Mary 87.

Bill, you got to stop this.

Stop 'em? Ralph,
that's a SWAT team.

Just flash your shield at 'em
or somethin'. Wha... Wha...

I'm sorry. I would've come through the
window but I didn't want to be spotted.

Hold it right where
you are. Mr. Hagert...

- I said, hold it! Who are you?
- The house is surrounded!

What kind of a suit
do you call that?

Uh... Uh... This red suit, it's especially
designed for tactical operations like this one.

- Bulletproof?
- Yes, among other things. Mr. Hagert...

How the hell did you get up
there? Anybody else with you?

Uh, no, I'm alone. Mr. Hagert,
I'd like to help you if I can.

Oh, you'd like to help me, huh?

Well, fine. You go out there and tell
those fellas to go on home. Sheesh.

Hagert, the house is
surrounded. You can't win this one.

Look at all those cars
out there on my lawn.

Look at that truck in the
middle of the flower bed!

Okay. Hold it, boys.
Two, circle. Three...

Three, cover me.
Okay. Bill Maxwell, F.B.I.

Let's regroup this
a little downrange.

What is this? What's
going on? Maxwell, F.B.I.

You boys look like you
could use a little backup.

I need an update on your
scenario and a plan of attack.

My plan of attack? Yeah.

Hey, let's keep her
back. Uh, she's with me.

Another fed? Attorney.

Attorney? Oh, it even
gets better. Uh-huh.

What else you got? Well, uh...

All right, regroup!

I'm gonna count to three. One!

I'm sure you don't want to hurt anybody.
You would have shot me when I came in.

- Two!
- Mr. Hagert, what's your
family think about this?

Martha was my family!
Why don't you just give it up?

Martha passed away 10 years ago.

And let me tell you
something, young fella.

If she were here today, she'd walk out
there, she'd find the driver of that truck,

and she'd box him
right alongside the head!

This house is ours. Ain't nobody gonna
take this house from Martha and me.

- Unless they k*ll me!
- Mr. Hagert, nobody wants
to k*ll you. Believe me.

Oh, no? Well, take
a look out there.

I should say, no one wants anyone
to get hurt. That's what's important.

I'll tell you what's
important. This house.

That's what's important. You see
that porch out there? I built that porch.

You see that room
there, that extra room?

I built that when it looked like
Martha and I was gonna have a baby.

All right, Hagert. We're
ready with the tear gas.

You've got one minute to
come out with your hands empty.

One minute. And you got 45
seconds to clear out of there!

- Mr. Hagert,
they mean business.
- Well, so do I.

You know, rezoning goes on all the time,
all over the place. I mean, it happens.

You don't want your home to
be in the middle of a runway.

Let's get out of this
problem with the police,

then you buy yourself
another house.

- Buy a new house, huh?
- Mm-hmm.

- With what?
- With the money that the city
will give you for this house.

They didn't give me no money.

They just took this house. What?

For 50 lousy bucks, right there.

Thirty seconds, Hagert.

You missed one payment eight
years ago, and they took your house?

That's right. March, 1974.

And they repossessed the house
because of the accrued interest.

And they told me I hadn't
owned this house for years.

Well, this house belongs
to Martha and me.

And there ain't nobody
gonna take this house from us...

as long as I can move
around and get up.

Fifteen seconds, Hagert,
and we're comin' in.

Over my dead body.

- Time's up, Hagert.
- Oh, no.

Final warning, Hagert.

And my final answer.

All right, Hagert. Come
out, or we're comin' in!

Please don't make any trouble. My friends
and I will do all we can to help you.

- How do you do that?
- I gotta go.

Break it in!

How long can they hold Ira in
custody without charging him?

Depending on the
psychiatric report,

they can hold him for
as long as they want.

Oh, boy. I hope he doesn't mention
me. It won't do him any good at all.

Ralph, come on.

You gotta remember, we're looking at
a guy here that was ready to take on...

an entire SWAT
team all by himself.

Now, uh, that makes
you wonder, doesn't it,

how much wind is
blowing through his attic.

But, Bill, the guy was very angry. The bank
double-crossed him, sold his land to the city.

That home was the
only thing he had.

I'm not saying that the pitiful old
geezer here doesn't have a beef.

I'm just saying that tryin'
to solve it with a shotgun...

against a SWAT team all by
yourself doesn't add up to par.

It's not exactly a rational
solution to a problem, Ralph.

I just feel so terrible. I
was trying to help the guy.

I mean, I didn't want him to
end up with a... a jail sentence,

or even worse, in
a mental institution.

Well, that's what happens sometimes when
you try to do something nice for somebody.

Uh, Hagert may have been
just a borderline mental case.

We shoved him right
over. It does happen.

Is there anything you can do legally? Can
you send him a writ or something like that?

I'm gonna talk to Councilman
Beckworth tomorrow.

He sponsored the rezone. Maybe I
can get him to drop some of the charges.

But if Ira pleads diminished
capacity, it's gonna be a tough one.

Oh, boy, I just feel so awful.

Hey, hon, here's something
that might cheer you up.

What's that?

Isn't that the guy you
handed the blind girl to?

Oh, yeah, it is. Look at that.

"Good samaritan saves
blind girl from flames."

No kidding. "Passerby
Dave Tanner...

"risked his life in an
apartment fire last night...

"to save the life
of Judy Johnstone,

a blind resident of the
building." Let me see that.

"Tanner told reporters
that he was out for a walk."

Tanner. Tanner. Dave Tanner.

"He said he saw the flames
leaping up from the first floor..."

Let me see that. Oh-h*-h*.

Oh, boy. Uh, I hate to
uh... uh, frost your pipes...

anymore than they're already
frosted, Ralph, but, uh, that's...

Dave Tanner got his picture in
the newspaper. I don't believe it.

And he's definitely
not a good samaritan.

- What do you mean?
- It's Dave Tanner here.

"Torchy" Tanner.

Number one scummy...

on the arson squad's dance card.

Dave Tanner is a
fire ghoul, Ralph.

- A what?
- He's a looter.

He picks a fire,
shows up, lays low.

In the confusion, slips in the building,
rips off the entire burning building.

Great. Well, Bill, maybe
he was in the area.

People stop and watch
fires. It happens, you know.

Torchy Tanner's sheet
goes back 20 years.

He is not a spectator.
He's a player.

Great. First I help Ira, and then
I'm turning an arsonist into a hero.

I ca... I can't believe that
someone up there really loves me.

Well, Ralph, now look.
I've gone along with this,

but your scenario here has
turned into a real pound of nothing.

Now, couldn't we just, you
know, hitch up the old jammies,

and vibe in on
these escaped cons,

because I'm not putting it bluntly
when I say I'm looking down...

the business end of a
departmental reprimand here.

Huh? What do you
say? Huh, huh, huh?

You know, I'm not really
anxious to give this all up.

And l-let's suppose that
Pam's synopsis is correct.

I mean, maybe
the guy's out there,

and he's just standing there and
he happens to save this girl and...

No, it doesn't really
add up to much, does it?

Okay. Now, suppose...

I can prove to you that
this Torchy Tanner...

is the guy that I say he is,

and that he was there
to rip off the building,

and that you used the suit to
make a hero out of a real slimeball.

Now, would you give up on this,
huh? Would ya? Would ya? Would ya?

I don't know.

Come on. You'd do it for Bill.

Old Uncle Bill.
Old Uncle Wild Bill?

Who loves you,
baby? Huh? Huh? Huh?

You're overdoing it, Uncle Bill.

Oh, all right.

Listen. We'll get
together for lunch, okay?

What? What are you, nuts? Hitting on
that broad. She was the bank manager.

You got to be nuts. I
wasn't hittin' on her.

I was pumping for
information. You're an idiot.

We got two cameras and three
guards. The vault's by the south door.

What time does the bank
close up? Around 3:00.

They all do. Wh-Wh-Wh-Wh-what
do you mean, around 3:00?

Hey, take it easy, huh? What's
the big deal? We'll take the place.

Whack the guards and the citizens,
take the bread and split the country.

One, two, three. Yeah,
what about witnesses?

You stuck your face all
over the place in there.

There ain't gonna be any witnesses.
All we're gonna do is knock the joint over.

Old Torchy Tanner. Wait
till you meet this creep.

Right off the bottom of
the bucket. A real "scunge."

A bum's bum. Yuck.

You're gonna love him. Come
on, Bill. We don't need the hard sell.

Hi. Hey, you must be the Kagans
from 12-C, right? Come on in.

It is so great to
finally meet you.

Hey, wait a minute.
It's you. It's you.

You're the guy who did it.

- It's him.
- It sure is.

Okay, now you got all your
intros out of the way, I'll make mine.

Maxwell, F.B.I. How
you doin' there, Torchy?

Oh, well, look at
this. Look it. Look it.

I hope you're not using the
scriptures for kindling now, Torchy.

Look. You know, I... I... I think
that, uh, maybe I owe you a lot.

Mr. Tanner, Agent Maxwell here claims
that you are some kind of a firebug...

Wait a minute. Keep your voice down,
will you? H-Hey, you want to come in?

Come on. All right.

Okay. Oh, me without
my asbestos underwear.

Oh, well. I'll take a gamble.

All right, look at this junk.
Ralph, what'd I tell you?

Listen. Uh, hey, you guys want some,
you know, coffee or cereal, like that?

- Cereal?
- Uh, we wanted to know...

what you were doing at
that building, Mr. Tanner.

Oh, well, just ask
him. He knows.

- Were you there
to loot that place?
- Okay. Okay.

Yeah, that's why I was there.

I mean, I heard the call
on the fire band of my radio.

- I went over there, and...
- Well, thanks, Torchy,
for your invaluable time.

- And what? And what?
- And nothin', counselor.

Come on. Let's go. I proved my point.
Can we go and get some real work done?

You know, you figure that
you know yourself, you know?

I mean, you figure,
"Okay, I know what I am."

You don't have to like it.
But after a while, you stop...

You stop wonderin' what you are,

and you just, uh, do what
you do, you know what I mean?

The old clock on the wall
says it's time to hit the trail.

- Wait a minute, Bill.
- And then you came along,
Mr., uh... What is it?

Hinkley. Hinkley.

And you handed me that girl.

And, wow, all of
a sudden, people.

I mean, people look at me, and
they say, "Dave Tanner is a hero."

A hero! I mean,
can you dig that?

- Yeah. Yep, yep.
- Ohh, time is wastin' here.

This banana flambé
is talkin' in circles.

Can't we get out of here
and make tracks, huh?

Shut up, Bill. Yeah, shut up.

Shut up... You know, I thought you
guys were the couple from downstairs.

Lived down there for five years.

We never even said hello.

People called me up, they wanted
to shake my hand, you know?

I'm gonna get sick. And this!
This you would never believe,

but my own mother called me up.

I mean, I haven't heard from her since I...
what... did the nickel jolt in Joliette?

My own mother called me. I
mean, can you believe that?

Stranger things have happened.

Are you listening to this, Bill?

Bill?

Go on, Dave. Go on.

So, I've been trying to
figure out, you know, like,

what to do with my life.

I know I've been on
the wrong track so far.

Well, I... I know that now.

And I'm trying to get, like, a... a
grip on... on where I go from here.

Now, I know I
didn't save that girl,

but what if I tried to, huh?

I mean, maybe I could have.

Bill, isn't this terrific? Are
ya... A-Are you listening to this?

Yeah. Yeah, I really am.

It's terrific. It's wonderful. Makes my
eyes water. Drivel always does that.

So I've been thinkin', you
know. I used to be Catholic.

And there is a place
up in Santa Barbara...

where I can go and, like,
you know, like, hang out...

and think,

and talk to the priests,
and, y-you know, try to...

Try to figure out what
all this means to me.

A monastery?

- A monastery?
- Yeah.

A monastery.

Torchy Tanner in
a monastery, Ralph.

That's a little hard to swallow
without making a mess on the rug.

You know, Bill, I feel so
good about what we're doing.

I'm sure this is what the
suit was meant to be used for.

That's wonderful, because, uh, my
career's going down the tubes right now.

On Monday, I'm finished, unless
I bring in these escaped cons.

Boring. How many times have I
had to sit through you telling me...

that unless you dropped everything
and jumped in with both feet,

Carlisle was gonna fry
your garbanzos? Okay.

How many times have I had
to hear that? Once or twice.

Once or twice? Ten
or 20 times maximum!

At least. Ralph, come on.
This time I'm really fryin' here.

All right, I'm gonna find some
time for you, okay? Oh, good.

Let's finish what we're after before we go
to the next thing. That's all I'm saying.

All right, listen. I want you to drop me by
the courthouse so I can see Pam for a minute.

Wait a minute. Uh, do you mind
if I listen to the news for a minute?

This unexpected storm front
will cause temperatures...

to plunge well below freezing.

A travel advisory is in effect... There's
nothing that you can do about the weather.

Now, I'll get you to the
courthouse. Let's go.

Travelers and hikers are warned
to avoid unnecessary travel.

We go now to a live report from Allison
McKay at Angeles Crest National Park...

for our latest update on the young boy
who has been lost for almost 10 hours.

Unfortunately, we are
still waiting for a word...

from the northwest park units,

and descriptions of Jonathan
Neuman are now being circulated.

Johnny is eight years old, and when
last seen was wearing a baseball cap,

a plaid shirt and
tan corduroys...

when he wandered off from a
family outing very early this morning.

Hello?

Hello?

Hello? Any...

Anybody hear me? Hello?

Anybody?

Why don't you let me
help you, Mr. Hagert?

Because your kind of help ain't gonna
make no difference to me now, lady.

So, you go on and get all this fancy
lawyer stuff and get on out of here.

Oh, great.

I'm trying everything I can
to straighten this mess out,

and you're quitting on me.

I am 75 years old. I want
to quit, I'm gonna quit.

Now, Miss Davidson, you...
you're a little late trying to help me.

I mean, this thing has got me
just about pushed around the bend.

You just forget it. I can get a
settlement from the bank for your house.

And the district attorney has agreed
to review the charges filed against you.

What am I gonna do then?

I don't even mean that.

I mean this.

I keep thinkin'
I'm seein' things.

Seeing that young
fellow in a red suit...

flying right through my
roof and doing things!

I know. It must be
very frightening for you.

I don't scare easy.

But I know if I want to
keep half of what I got,

I got to find one of
them head doctors...

and just tell him I've
been seein' things.

Now, Mr. Hagert, please don't
tell the doctors what you saw.

It won't help us at
all with your defense.

But I don't want you
to defend anything.

This is just between me and that head
doctor and that young fella I thought I saw.

You didn't see him, Miss Davidson.
You don't know what it's like.

Well, how'd we do?
Gonna get him out of here?

No, we're not. Ira's gonna
end up in a mental institution.

A what? Yep, he's gonna
talk to the city psychiatrist...

and tell him all about you
and the suit and everything.

Oh, no, he's not gonna do
that, is he? Oh, yes, he is.

What did you expect? We have
enough trouble handling it ourselves.

Oh, boy, this is terrible.

Well, listen. I got him into
this, I'm gonna get him out.

You wait here.

Okay, John, open the door.

Hope you like dog food, old man.

'Cause that's all we can
afford to feed crazies.

Oh, you've got to
eat it with your hands,

'cause you can't have no spoon.

Oh, you want to eat
it on the floor, huh?

Door.

Hi, Ira.

It's me. You want to talk?
I am not talkin' to myself.

- You're not talkin' to yourself. You're talkin' to me.
- No. I'm not.

Ira, I know you think nobody cares
about you, but I care about you.

Now just give me a second to explain
before you go beatin' me up, all right?

What can you do?
You don't even exist.

I'm really goin' around the
bend. I wish Martha were here.

- She'd get a kick seein' me now.
- You're not goin'
around the bend.

I'm tryin' to give you advice that's
gonna keep you from doing something...

that I know you're gonna regret.
All you're givin' me is a headache!

Now, will you get back in
my head where you belong?

That's what I want to talk
to the doctor about... alone.

You think you feel crazy?
How do you think I feel?

I got to wear this hideous
red suit around all the time.

Now, I didn't ask for this suit.

Just like you didn't ask for your
house to be taken by the bank.

But it happened, Ira. It happened, and
we just have to learn how to live with it.

Now, wait a minute. I don't
have to learn to live with you.

That's what I'm gonna
talk to the doctor about.

- All right. Let's call
the guard right now, okay?
- Huh?

I'm gonna prove to you
that I'm as real as you are.

Hey, wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

Guard?

Open the door.

All right, old man. Now what
is all this screamin' about?

Oh, no, that wasn't...
I wasn't screamin'.

Well, what was you doin', climbin'
the walls, or you calling for your mama?

Huh! Aah! Hey, Wha...

Hey! Hey!

Huh!

Huh... Uh!

Open the door!

Help!

- Convinced?
- Well, at least you got
my attention.

Okay, good.

Now, I'm gonna get you out
of this, Ira. The first thing is,

don't tell your good
doctor about me, okay?

Deal? Deal.

All right.

Excuse me. Did you
get through to him?

I think I did. Everything
is working out A-okay.

I want you to see what kind of a
bargain you can strike with the D.A.

Now, Ralph, Ira's still
gonna need a place to live...

until the finance company
reimburses him for his house.

All right. I gotta meet Bill in a
few minutes. Uh, don't worry.

I'm gonna figure out a
place that Ira can stay at.

Talk to you later.

Harlan? My ex-partner, Harlan?

Well, yeah, Harlan. Harlan's
blind, Bill. Ira could be his eyes.

I mean, they'd be
terrific for each other.

Boy, this is startin' to
work out fine, isn't it?

What a weekend. Well, Ralph, I
don't know about puttin' old Ira...

with... with... with...
With, uh, Harlan.

I mean, come on. I'm not even sure that
Ira's got all his bats in the same belfry.

No, Ira's fine, Bill. He was a little confused
about me, but I straightened him right out.

Let's find somethin' else we can do, all
right? I mean, it's a good feeling, isn't it?

Well, I wonder if you'd
like to do a little, uh,

background vibe and
search for me on Ira.

This is his shirt. I
stopped by his house. Oh.

Bill, come on. Ira's
fine. Believe me.

Well, I don't want to put too fine
a point on it, Ralph, but come on.

Ira was ready to sh**t it out with a
SWAT team yesterday all by himself.

I got to look out for
Harlan. He's my first partner.

I love him. He's like family,
and... All right. All right. All right.

If it'll make you
happy, I'll do it.

Yeah, what are you gettin'?

I'm getting a bank, Bill. Federal
Trust over on Forest and Lake.

All right, anybody moves,
and the twist buys it!

Bill, it's a bank robbery. What kind of
connection could Ira have with bank robbers?

- Boy, it beats me.
- Well, let's get over there.

Right there! Get
this thing movin'!

Come on! Come on!

Can't you get this
pig moving any faster?

Uh, I'm out of gas!

- Out of gas?
- Well, Ralph,
it does happen sometimes.

Oh, boy. Bill, those must be the
same guys you were looking for.

Yeah. Really a coincidence, huh?

Well, uh... Anyhow you get
out there and nail 'em down.

I'll call for backup.
Come on. Hop to it.

Don't let 'em get away
this time! This time?

Come on! Come on!

- Who's that?
- I don't know.

But he's gainin' on us.

I don't believe this.

You're the brains.
Think of somethin'.

Drive faster!

Come on! Step on it, will ya?

Hello? Anybody hear me
out there? This is Maxwell.

Hello? I need some
backup out here.

You on the same cha... What
is going on? I don't believe this.

Everything is comin'
unglued today.

Goooh! What are you doing to me?

Why don't you wear a bell? What happened to
the cons? Did you let 'em get away again?

No, I didn't let 'em get away,
but, yeah, they got away.

Oh, God. Ira's, huh?

I just want to run it through our lab. I'll
get it back to you this afternoon. Thanks.

Okay, the A.P.B. is up. These scums
have probably already dumped the car.

We're gonna have
to vibe in on 'em.

I got one of the holdup
masks, so you can use that.

Aw, come on, Ralph. You're
not still sore at me, are ya?

Now, why would I be sore, Bill?

Just because you tricked me into
holographing off those prison denims...

that Ira was supposed to have
worn. Well, I was desperate.

Well, don't you think it
was a little bit underhanded?

Underhanded? I'll
give you underhanded.

"You have to play 'Captain Nice
Guy, ' play 'Simon Says' with me,

do everything I say, or I'm out
of the crime-fighting business."

That's underhanded. Give
me a break. Give me a break.

Lost in the Angeles Forest.
Wait a minute. Listen.

The sudden drop in temperatures
have seriously hampered efforts...

to find the boy lost in the Alta Canyon
area of the Angeles Crest Forest.

Uh... That's
important. Let's go.

Yeah. Well, what about these
two creeps? Oh, come on.

Come on. They could k*ll somebody.
They're crazy. Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.

It is unlikely the boy
will be able to survive...

a second night in the
wilderness, if he is even still alive.

Okay. Come on.

Now this road runs
alongside Alta Canyon.

I'm gonna sweep it, and I'll check
back with you about every 15 minutes.

Okay. Take this with you. I
want you to wish me luck, all right?

Yep. Bring him home, kid.

The park rangers and
volunteer search parties...

have called off their efforts...

to find the boy lost in
the Angeles Crest Forest.

A fresh cold air front
threatening snow...

has forced the
end of the search,

although search parties
will be on standby all night.

The hope of finding little
Johnny Neuman has grown thin.

♪ Sometimes things
don't work out ♪

♪ Like you plan ♪

♪ All you want to do ♪

♪ Is lend a hand ♪

♪ The good turn turns out bad ♪

♪ And happy comes out sad ♪

♪ Sometimes things
don't work out ♪

♪ Like you plan ♪

♪ Sometimes people
seem so hard ♪

♪ To find ♪
Jonathan, you all right?

Jonathan!

♪ You can read their hearts ♪

♪ But not their minds ♪

♪ You wonder why you try ♪

♪ But only you know why ♪

♪ 'Cause sometimes
things work out ♪

♪ Just like you plan ♪♪

Ah.

Oh, close that door, Ralph.

He's definitely in bad shape. He's
suffering from hypothermia and exposure.

Hypothermia. Yeah.

Yeah. Lowered body temperature, you
gotta heat up the head and the trunk...

and forget the rest.

But first, this heater
doesn't do anything.

Forget the heater. Just
unbutton his shirt. Okay.

Okay, Ralph, that's enough.

Ah... Whoa.

Who are you?

Bill Maxwell, F.B.I.

What?

Oh. Yeah. Well, me too.

What'd he say? Well, he said
he'd always wanted to be a G-man,

since he was a kid.

All right.

Yeah, well, I guess
it's okay, you know,

saving a kid's life that got lost
in the forest and all that stuff.

Will you please stop trying to
force a halo down my throat?

You're the one that's been
talking about it all the way down.

I've just been sitting
here listening, Bill.

See, it only takes one good thing to
happen to make all of it worthwhile.

Well, I still have to nail those two
ex-cons before Monday, or lose my job.

I don't suppose that you want to
bend in my direction a little bit now.

All right. I might consider it, seeing
as how I have a little bit of time.

Okay, here we
go. Vibe in on that.

That's that stocking. That's
what the bank robbers had.

Very kinky bank
robbers you got here.

Oh, that's very funny.

All righty. Oh. See? I can't
even get it over my head.

Bill, this is a petite. I'm
sure I'm a junior miss.

Will you put it on, please?

Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Okay, now.

Now, what are you
gettin'? Oh, a headache.

You're blind too.
Uh, I can't see.

I can't even move my lips.

How do they breathe
through these things? Whoo!

- So, what are you gettin'?
- Okay. All right. I got something here.

What?

They're at the airport.

They're trying to
get out of the country.

How are they gonna get
on an international flight?

I don't know, but
we're gonna find out.

Believe me, you're gonna
like it in South America.

I'd like it a lot better if I had a
piece with me. What are you, crazy?

You try to carry a g*n on to a plane,
this whole place goes off like a...

Like a pinwheel machine.

Yeah? See you around.

Stop that.

I hope you can get
a fix on these guys.

If they're in the air already,
I'm a dead duck. I see 'em, Bill.

They're getting on
that jet right over there!

Hey! Hey, F.B.I. We
got to get through here!

Okay, hold it!
Everybody, hold it!

This flight is grounded!
Order of the F.B.I.

Now, which two... Which, ta...

Ralph, which two? I never
saw a good look at 'em.

Those two guys runnin'
away right there, Bill.

Ohh. Uh...

Bob, check your scope. Do you have
anything taking off on one-niner left?

No. Look again.

Are you sure? Something
flew by and nearly hit us.

Now, that one drives
the rainbow trout crazy.

Yeah, I can see that, the way
it catches the light on the cast.

Uh-huh.

You know, watching these guys
makes me feel pretty good all over.

I think it's beautiful. What
do you say, Bill? About what?

I don't see why there isn't
room for what you both want.

Well... Well, what?

Well, it's gettin'
late, that's what.

Well, let's go down to the lake.

If you can catch
'em, I can clean 'em.

I haven't held a
casting rod in years.

Okay, we're gonna see you
boys in a couple of days now.

Right, Bill.

I can't thank you folks enough for all
you done for me. I'm gonna repay you.

Ira, you've already
repaid us. Thank you.

Come on, Ira.

I gotta admit, I
haven't seen Harlan...

chuggin' around like this
since before the accident.

He's actually going
fishing with Ira.

You know, Bill, what you're
feeling is probably exactly...

the way Dave Tanner felt the night
everybody thought he saved that little girl.

Torchy Tanner, up there with the
brothers, bald spot shaved on his head,

wearin' a gunnysack, plantin'
string beans in the garden.

I'm ready to believe anything.

Well, Ralph, your little
experiment was a success. Yep.

How about a
celebration dinner? Well...

We've still got a little
time left on the old ticker.

Why don't we find another,
uh, good deed out there?

Well, why the heck not?

Let's go for the gold.

And just hours ago, a
fire of unexplained origin...

raged through the Brothers Retreat
in the Santa Barbara mountains.

The blaze apparently
originated in a room...

used to store gifts
to the Brothers,

a lay group vowed to
poverty. Coincidence.

And in other Southland
news... Short circuit?

Three helicopters will begin
spraying the insecticide...

Well, why don't we go get
some dinner and call it a day?

Assistant county agriculture...