02x07 - The Lost Diablo

[bunniefuu]

♪ Look at what's
happened to me ♪

♪ I can't believe it myself ♪

♪ Suddenly I'm up
on top of the world ♪

♪ It should have
been somebody else ♪

♪ Believe it or not
I'm walking on air ♪

♪ I never thought I
could feel so free ♪

♪ Flying away on a
wing and a prayer ♪

♪ Who could it be ♪

♪ Believe it or
not it's just me ♪

♪ Just like the
light of a new day ♪

♪ It hit me from
out of the blue ♪

♪ Breaking me out
of the spell I was in ♪

♪ Making all of my
wishes come true ♪

♪ Believe it or not
I'm walking on air ♪

♪ I never thought I
could feel so free ♪

♪ Flying away on a
wing and a prayer ♪

♪ Who could it be ♪

♪ Believe it or
not it's just me ♪

♪ Who could it be ♪

♪ Believe it or
not it's just me ♪♪

Just get a load of
that countryside...

Knock your eye right out.

Golly, I love this country.

Ah, there's nothing like it... sitting around
a campfire, cooking up a mess of beans,

listening to rocks talking to you, trees
talking to you, coyotes talking to you.

Yee-haw! Some of the
best times of my life...

spent right out
here, all alone...

Just me and the prospector.

- That's his old partner, Harlan.
- Best partner a man ever had.

The first and best.

Broke me into the bureau
when I signed on. Yeah.

Punk kid... thought I knew
everything there was to know.

Oh, not you, Bill.

We used to come out here, just
him and me, on the weekends,

vacation and so forth, uh, just
ramming around the hills, prospecting.

I guess we must have worked every
square inch of this whole territory.

Hey, that's my hat,
man! Let me try it on!

You guys knock if
off, okay? Knock it off.

Come on, man.
My hat! Knock it off!

Aw, ease up, kid. They're just
letting off a little steam, that's all.

Settle down, you guys.

Think you are Paco Wayne?
Big shot, huh? Yeah, man. Yeah.

- Tough guy, right? Good.
- Yeah. Yeah, I stole it, man.

Mr. H., told us to bring a hat. Now you're
gonna be the only one getting sunstroke.

Yeah? Well that's about
all any of us is gonna get,

'cause we sure ain't
gonna find no gold out there.

- Well, maybe we won't.
- Then why'd we bring
all those pans and stuff?

Yeah. Well, if we happen
to find a few nuggets, terrific.

If we don't, it's still
an adventure, right?

It's a learning experience.

Would you rather be sitting in a
classroom, reading about the Gold Rush,

or out here experiencing it?

No, that's all right.
That's all right.

Hey, Bill, we've been driving for a
long time. Can I ask you something?

- Yeah, sh**t.
- Are we lost?

- Huh?
- Are we lost?

Uh, lost?

Well, counselor, get serious.

This is my old stomping ground.

I know every jackrabbit
out there by his first name.

Lost.

Bill, I let you drive because
you knew where you were going.

So, uh, where's
the campsite, huh?

Ah, well,

it's coming up... soon.

Are we here? I
don't see any gold.

This is great. Gold!

Bill, I'm glad we did this trip.

It was tough to make the
arrangements. I'm glad we did it.

So, this is the
famous campsite, huh?

No, it's higher. It's a whole
lot higher. It's up there.

We gotta go up there.

Bill, what do you want to do? It looks
like we got too much stuff to carry.

Well, we'll divvy it up... even
shares, just the essentials.

You didn't forget the suit?
Nope. Nope, got it right here.

You were right. It's a good idea to bring it
along, just for a little insurance, you know?

You never can tell. Bill, you did
a great job in getting us up here.

I mean, you haven't been up
here in years, and things change.

No, not the old landmarks.
Not Monk's Rock.

Monk's Rock? Remember that rock
we passed, looked like an Indian?

Yeah. What? It doesn't
look like an Indian,

It looks like a monk. That's
why they call it Monk's Rock.

Looked like an Indian. Bill, are you
sure it's all right to leave this bus here?

You know, I'm the one who signed
it out. I'd hate for anything to happen.

Oh, what can happen?
Nobody around here for miles.

All right, you people!

Head 'em out! Move 'em out!

Charge! I've been wanting to
say that. Come on. Carry me.

♪ Pieces of gold ♪

♪ Pieces of dreams ♪

♪ Follow your soul up
mountains and streams ♪

♪ It runs in your veins ♪

♪ Shiny and cold ♪

♪ But you'll never own
those pieces of gold ♪

♪ It runs in your veins ♪

♪ Shiny and cold ♪

♪ But you'll never own those
pieces of gold ♪♪ Now, come on.

You guys get over here and eat. I'm slaving
over a hot campfire, and no one's eating.

Tony? Come on over here. I'll
help you with that tent after dinner.

Who needs help? You said
it goes up in three minutes.

Rhonda, I wouldn't unroll that sleeping bag,
unless you plan on getting in right now.

Scorpions.

Oh. What else did you forget to
tell us about? Snakes? Coyotes?

All part of camping out, honey. I
love it. I wish we had done it sooner.

Get a chance to breathe the
fresh air and sit under the moonlight.

Drink fresh spring water.

Work on your
muscles and reflexes...

rather than sitting
around on a freeway.

Counselor, I'm telling you.

You're gonna feel a whole
lot different about it tomorrow.

Whoa! When you pan
out your first gold dust.

I'm telling you,
there's nothing like it.

If there was any gold around here, people
would be crawling all over the place.

People are lazy today.
Maybe you've noticed.

They want a bonanza or
they don't want to be bothered.

They certainly don't
want to work for it.

But Harlan Blackford come
out here every weekend,

and every Monday morning come into the
office with 60, 70, 80 dollars in his pocket.

One time, panned out $300.

Gold at $35 an ounce,
now it's $250 an ounce.

Wow! Do you know how much
$250 worth of gold is worth right now?

Right, man. That's it!

Ha ha! Success.

Success. I love it.

Aw, man.

Hey. Come on, you guys. Last
call till breakfast. Come on, you guys.

Breakfast. That's when the counselor whips
up a mess of her famous sourdough flapjacks.

- Oh.
- He's even gonna let you
do the dishes.

- Ha.
- And you too.

Oh, yeah. That's another
thing. We all do our own dishes.

- You take your plates out
and wash them in the sand.
- In the sand?

If it's good enough for Harlan
Blackford, it's good enough for you.

I learned so many
things from that old man.

Like, for example, if
we do strike it tomorrow,

each person is responsible
for his own goods.

And then there's the other rule,

where the guy with the
map gets 75% of the claim.

What map, Bill?

Well, I'm just talking
hypothetically, Ralph.

But, uh, if there
were a map involved,

the guy with the map
obviously gets the lion's share.

Traditionally, that's 75%. What
about the guy who supplies the wagon?

Well, Ralph, anybody
can supply the wheels,

but obviously you're gonna be
going around and around in circles...

if you don't have a map.

Well, if you needed a map
and there wasn't any... map.

Well, I don't know about you
guys, but as far as I'm concerned,

the dishes and the
map can wait till morning.

I'm turning in. Good
night. What map?

The hypothetical map, Bill.

Good night, hon. I'm turning in. Oh,
you're not gonna go to bed now, are you?

Hey. The fun's just starting.
We got a beautiful campfire here.

We can sit around and sing a few rounds.
That's the part I always liked best.

Hey! Come on, you guys! Come
on over here to the campfire.

We'll sit around and
sing a few rounds.

♪ Down at the station
early in the morning ♪

♪ See the little puff... ♪
See, when I say "See,"

then the rest of you
sing "Down at the station."

I don't get it. No. It's
a round, like he said.

It's a round. Yeah. Cyler, you
know what I'm talking about.

We'll... We'll show
'em. All right? All right.

♪ Down at the station
early in the morning ♪

♪♪ ♪ See the little
puffer-bellies all in a row ♪

♪ Hear the station
master give a little whistle ♪

♪ Chug, chug,
toot, toot Off we go ♪

♪♪

Good night, Mr. H.

Good night, guys.
Good night, Mr. H.

Good night.

♪ Row, row, row your boat
gently down the stream ♪

♪ Merrily, merrily
merrily, merrily ♪

♪ Life is but a dream ♪♪

Hey, Bill, you up?

Bill, do you have any matches?

- For, uh... What's that?
- What?

That piece of paper you're
trying to hide from me.

Right there. No, don't tear it!

I wasn't hiding it
from you, Ralph.

You have a map.

Bill, you have a... That's what all
that garbage was about last night.

Whoever has the map
gets 75% of the claim.

A map! I don't believe it! I was going to
show it to you at the proper time, Ralph.

That's why you wanted me to bring my suit
along, isn't it? Will you please listen to me?

That map was given to me...

by Harlan Blackford, my
partner, on his deathbed.

It's the map to the Lost Diablo.

The Lost Diablo? I
thought that was a legend.

No, it's not a legend.
It's real. It's a fact.

It's real. It's the biggest
strike California ever had...

Lost for a hundred years.

Now, Harlan wouldn't tell
me where he got the map,

but he swore on his
deathbed, that it was real.

Why didn't you tell me?

Well, you wouldn't have believed me.
You wouldn't have believed me. Come on!

Uh, treasure maps are real high
on the yuck meter for everybody.

But I got this thing
all figured out.

You and the counselor
come in for 25%.

See, all you have to
do is put the suit on,

holograph in on it, we got it.

Well, what about the kids?

Yeah, sure.

No, I-I want to pay them a
good basic, uh, you know?

It's better than picking
beans, uh, for the weekend.

They got a nice weekend
in the country, and, uh,

your average, basic minimum.

Now, that's fair.
No, it isn't fair.

I won't do it unless we're
all equal partners, Bill.

Equal partners?

What are you, crazy?
There's 10 of us.

All right. Then you go for the 100%, and we'll
sit around here until you come back. Okay?

Well, now, wait a minute.
Uh, you got the suit.

I mean, I've got an interest
in that. It's part mine, sort of.

Okay, well then, uh, you take
it, all right? Here, you take it.

Oh, come on, Ralph. It doesn't
work for me and you know it.

Would you please
just trust me in this?

Listen to me. Darn it!

I mean, my partner,
Harlan, worked his whole life.

His whole life, busted his tail
trying to find this mine. Come on.

Come on.

You see it, don't you?

Yeah. Yeah, you do. Oh, boy.

Okay. Go for it, Ralph.

Go ahead and go for it!

- You do see it?
- Maybe.

Okay. Everybody gets a share.

- Now, can we get on with this?
- Okay.

Okay, now, when
you find it... If I find it.

Yeah. You're
gonna find it, all right.

You have to talk
me up the hill. Okay.

Otherwise I can't find you
anywhere. Go on. All right.

Save me some breakfast. Yeah.

Huh.

Bill, we're practically making eye contact. Just
keep coming straight up a few hundred yards.

Everything out
here is straight up.

Bring my clothes, would you,
and give everybody a rest break?

Okay, you birds, fall out!

Take five. Don't scatter.

Bill!

You're always
crabbing about the flying.

You oughta try it afoot.
Where are my clothes?

Come on. Yeah. Here.

There you go.

Well? Okay, so now, tell me.

How close are we? Are you sure?

- Are you sure it's the Diablo?
- Well, that was the name
on the ore car.

Ore car? You saw an ore car?

Oh, boy. I wish Harlan was here.

The guys at the bureau used to treat him
like he was a candidate for the rubber room.

Carlisle was the
worst of the bunch.

Old Harlan was
coming up on retirement.

Carlisle used to give it to
him every chance he got.

"Oh, well, I guess you'll be off
striking it rich now, won't you, Harlan?"

Boy, I can't believe I found a
gold mine, Bill. An actual gold mine!

Yeah, well, you won't need the,
uh, map now, will you, Ralph?

You know, just for
sentimental reasons?

- Here you go.
- Ahhh.

Carlisle. Wait'll he hears.

Watch him do a three-sixty...

when he finds out
I've got the Lost Diablo.

- We've got the Lost Diablo.
- Huh?

Isn't that what you meant to
say? We've got the Lost Diablo.

Oh, yeah. Sure. Well, of course.

Uh, on the other hand, of course
you've gotta remember, 'tis my map.

Boy, oh, boy. Bill what would
you say if I told you that, uh...

That I flew into town and I've
registered the claim under my name.

- You... You what?
- Nothing.

Just a what if. Come on.

Yo, Mr. H.! All right.

Hey, Mr. H. Mr. H.,
what's going on?

Did you find it? Yeah,
we found it, we found it.

It's sitting there, waiting.
It's worth millions dollars.

Millions? Read
my lips. Millions.

Okay, troops. Up and at 'em,
here we go. Ralph, where is it?

Uhhh... Oh, come on, Ralph!

Well, let me... Yonder she lies!

- Yo!
- Hey, hold it! Wait a minute!

Wait a minute Wait a minute.
Wait a minute! Wait a minute!

Come on. You crazy, man?
Wait a minute, you guys.

I wanna talk to you for a
minute. You don't understand.

- It's a mine. It's a gold mine.
- Yes, all right.

It's a gold mine. I agree.
Mr. Maxwell had a map, and I found it.

- But we want to
share it with you guys.
- You're kidding.

Yeah, really. Sure
you're gonna share it.

"Uh, just go ahead, help
yourself, Rodriguez," you know?

Wait a minute. Pam's
gonna draw up contracts,

and we're all gonna
share it with you equally.

We said shares. We
didn't say equal, Ralph.

Wait a minute. Now there's a
possibility this mine is not safe,

so I didn't want you guys
to all just rush in there.

I wanted... Just take our time.
Go one step at a time, all right?

- Right, right.
- Okay. This is
the Lost Diablo.

Yeah. Right. One step at a time!

Guys! Yahoo! All right!

Whoo!

Man, where's the gold?
Where's the gold? Here.

Look in the wall. Hey,
Mr. H. Check this out.

Stay near the
entrance, all right?

It's a for real mine.

Watch out. Smells like a mine.

Look out! This is bogus.
There ain't no gold here.

All right. No yelling in here!
Keep your voices down.

Listen to old bullhorn
himself, here, huh? Wow.

Hey, man, where are you guys
going? Tony, be careful here.

Shh. Man, be quiet. Is
there gold down there?

Oh, no!

This is scary.

Hey, Tony, I told
you guys not to go...

- Whoa!
- Oh, my God!

Don't move.

Just back out of there
real slow, all right?

Yeah, I think. Move, Tony.

Just back out real
careful. Come on.

Yeah. Keep low.
Stay low. Stay down.

Man. These miners were serious.

Everybody out. Booby-trapped!
Do you believe that?

Guys, look. Let
Bill get in there.

- This thing is so old,
it's falling apart.
- Ralph! Come here.

The whole thing's made out of
steel springs. Ralph, this is it, isn't it?

- This is it! This is the gold!
- Yeah, that's it.

- Did she say gold?
- Oh, man, look at this!

Hey, be careful. The cart
may be booby-trapped too.

Hey, take it easy. Out
of this whole ore car,

there might be only a
couple of pounds of real gold.

None of you knows anything
about it anyway. Just let me see this.

Holy gee.

Man, will you look at this?

That's high grade, Ralph.

We'll have to mash it all up to get the gold,
but it's, uh... it's high grade, no question.

♪ We're in the... ♪♪
We've got it. It's gold!

You lost 'em, Fletcher.

I ain't lost 'em. I just
ain't found 'em yet.

How many did you say there
was? Not that many, mostly kids.

Ain't gonna give us no trouble.

How much money you
figure they're carrying?

Now how am I supposed
to know that, Doyle?

Besides, it don't matter.

Whatever they got, we're takin'.

See that? Out of all that ore,

we only got 20
ounces of pure gold.

Don't waste the
water, Villicana.

What are you talking
about, wasting?

Is it really gold, Mr. Maxwell?
I mean... I mean, for sure?

Yeah, honey, for sure.

What do you think we've been
busting our backs for all day?

Hmm. I'll tell you about
busting your back, man.

Try loading freight
down on the docks.

Whew. I did that one
summer and got paid spit.

I knew I'd never see a Porsche
911 Targa out of that gig.

What are you talking
about? What Porsche?

The Porsche I'm gonna
buy when I get back.

I'm getting a Porsche. So?

So, get your own set of wheels.

Will you two quit
blowing over there?

Can't concentrate. This
is delicate work here.

Yeah, I think I'm gonna
take some singing lessons.

Maybe go pro. I got a
pretty good voice, you know.

Now I got enough for a
dynamite wardrobe, limousine.

Man. I don't know
what I'd get, man.

I mean, I never really
been in a position...

to even, like, think about it.

Me, I'm gonna rub
Carlisle's nose in it.

I've been talking about this
Porsche for so long, I don't believe it.

So you gotta be the only guy driving
one, right? The only guy I know, yeah.

Hey, you guys. We can all
have Porsches or Ferraris.

How about a Rolls
Corniche, huh? Two.

How does this sound? "Pamela
Davidson, attorney at law."

I can have my own store.

What about you, Ralph? Oh, I don't know.
I got a lot of what I want right here.

Mm. Course, there's a few little
things I wouldn't mind having.

Like, uh, I'd like to travel.

I can't imagine what it would be
like to go anywhere you wanna go.

I'd like a pool.

Yeah, I'd really like a pool.

Of course, I couldn't put a pool in
that little backyard that we've got.

Probably should
get a bigger house.

Library. I've always wanted to
endow a library. Always. Oh?

Can you imagine that at Whitney
High School? The Ralph Hinkley library?

With my face on a
bronze statue out front?

Okay, that's it.

Now, everybody is
responsible for his own goods.

You can wear it, or you
can eat it for all I care,

but if you lose it, don't
come crying to me.

Now that is an equal split...

for today's take.

Tomorrow we start from scratch. Oh, no.
No, no, no. Tomorrow we head for home.

What are you,
crazy? Go home now?

If we don't show up on time,
your parents are gonna k*ll me.

We had a good start here this weekend.
Let's not get greedy. We can come back.

- Yeah. Good night, everybody.
- Good night, hon.

Tony?

Cyler! What?

The kids aren't here, Bill. They're
probably headed back to the mine.

Oh, great.

Come on.

Hey, we're gonna need something to carry
the big stuff out, like sleeping bags.

So let's push this cart
outta here. All right.

Oh! I got it!

Come on!

Ralph, be careful!

Look out.

I shouldn't have
brought those kids here.

Ralph, it's not your fault.
You couldn't have known.

It looks like it's just the timbers
in the front that's give way.

Villicana, you hear me in there?
Bill, how can they hear you?

Now, Ralph, will
you listen to me?

If it's just the timbers in front,
then they may be all right.

May be? Look out.

Look out! Look out!

Bill, what am I gonna do?

I don't want to bring the
whole cave in on them.

Uh, well, maybe there's
a vertical drift, a shaft.

Uh, try the top of the
mountain. All right.

You stay put. I'm
gonna get us some light.

Aaah!

Cyler? Rodriguez?

Tony?

Man, this whole
thing's gonna go.

It's not gonna go. Shut up.

What are we gonna do, Tony?
We're gonna... We're gonna...

We're gonna find a way out of
here, that's what we're gonna do.

Exactly. We're gonna find a way
out of here. Okay. Which way?

Let's go over here. All right.

Watch your step.

Slow down.

Come on. Over here.

I think I see some light
coming out from there.

Yeah? Well, that is
another way to go.

Tony!

Tony? Tony, can you hear me?

Yes, Tony! Uh,
you're getting closer.

Can you see the
light? We see it, Mr. H.

Run to that light!

Aaah!

Go, go, go! Aaah!

Mr. Maxwell!
Mr. Maxwell, he's in there!

Mr. Maxwell, the
whole thing caved in!

- Mr. H. is still inside.
- No, there's a hole
in the other side.

Well, if he's anywhere,
he's between there and here.

We almost got a
hole punched in here.

Why don't you guys see if you
can finish it up? I'll take the back.

All right. Form a line. Be careful. It's
very unstable. It can go any minute.

Aaah!

Yeah, we really thought
you was a goner there, Mr. H.

♪ Pieces of gold ♪ You
got caught in an air pocket?

♪ Pieces of dreams ♪
Yeah. Pretty close.

♪ Follow your soul up
mountains and streams ♪

♪ It runs in your veins ♪

♪ Shiny and gold ♪

♪ But you'll never own
those pieces of gold ♪

♪ You chase your shadow ♪

♪ From here to heaven ♪

♪ Those lonely mountains
gonna be your grave ♪

♪ You've got the fever ♪

♪ And there is no cure ♪

♪ Not till your dying day ♪

♪ Pieces of gold ♪

♪ Pieces of dreams ♪

♪ Follow your soul up
mountains and streams ♪

♪ It runs in your
veins shiny and cold ♪

♪ But you'll never own
those pieces of gold ♪

♪ Pieces of gold ♪

♪ Pieces of dreams ♪

♪ Follow your soul up mountains
and streams ♪ Which way, Fletcher?

♪ It runs in your veins ♪

♪ Shiny and cold ♪

♪ You'll never own
those pieces of gold ♪♪

Okay, we strike all these
tents and keep going.

It's still a long way down.

Ohhh. Bill, everyone's
beat. Let's just sit here.

Ohhh.

Yo, man. You know that Porsche?

You want to get one.
Fine. Well, thanks.

Hey well, you know. Friends
do stuff like that, all right?

You know, eat
off the same plate,

drink out of the same canteen.

Now that's a real sign
of friendship, you know?

Ahhh.

Now, come on. Hand it over.

What's wrong with your canteen? I
was gonna make, like, a toast, man.

Yeah.

Sss! Get outta here.

Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Smooth move, Villicana.

Where were you when they
handed out the smarts, man, huh?

In front of the line, Jack.
I'm gonna be one rich dude.

Uh-huh. Well, right now you're
one thirsty dude, ain't you?

So, how much, turkey? Come on.

Get your hands off that.

Half.

Hey, Rhonda. How do you feel?

Mr. H., I got no business asking you
this, but, uh, I gotta have some water.

You... You just tell me how
much, and, uh, I'll pay you.

Did you fill this
with ore? Gold.

Did you all put ore
in your canteens?

You did. I don't believe it.

Bunch of mouthbreeders.

All right, there's only a little bit
here, but you can all have some.

Hey, come on, Paco.
Yo, man, so how much?

No charge, Tony.

That Cyler just
took me for two G's.

All right you guys, climb on!

Come on! Climb on!

Tough road the last few miles,
but it was worth it, wasn't it?

How many times you get
to go on a camping trip...

and come home millionaires, huh?

You want to drive, Bill? I want
to get used to being chauffeured.

Well, I got us in
here. I'll get us out.

Wait a minute.

Holy gee, it's dead, an
it's not even turning over.

Sit tight. I'll check it
out. This is all we need.

What's it look like? Battery?

No, it's not the battery,
Bill. There's no battery.

- Huh?
- There's no engine.

No jokes, Ralph. No jokes.

Look at my face. Does
it look like it's smiling?

Damn!

What am I gonna tell Mr. Knight, huh?
What am I gonna tell the school board?

Well, we went camping, and, uh, someone
came along and they stole our engine.

- Terrific.
- You're a millionaire now.

Buy them another one. Ralph,
what are we gonna do now?

Pam, I don't know. I guess
we're gonna have to walk out.

Walk? In the desert
without any water?

They left water in the radiator,
so we can probably drain that.

You ever drink out
of the radiator? I have.

- You better get a better idea.
- Uh, Bill if you have an idea,

why don't you, uh,
talk now, because, uh...

Hey, Pop, look what we found.

Sure took your time about
it. Got any cash on 'em?

Hey, move up here and
turn out them pockets.

Come on. Come on. Come on.

You. Here.

Well, well.

Let's see what else we got here.

My! Whoo.

You city boys sure
do dress fancy.

Uh, that's, uh... that's,
uh, thermal underwear.

See, we heard it got very
cold out here, and, so, uh...

Might could come in handy.

Fletcher. You keep
your eyes on them.

Don't let 'em out of your sight.

Well, that's dandy.

We're up the creek now.
He's got my g*n and the suit.

Why in the world
wasn't you wearing it?

Because it was giving me a heat rash. Why
in the world didn't you badge them, Bill?

I couldn't. It'd put too
many people in jeopardy.

We're already in jeopardy. These
people are crazy enough to k*ll us.

Well, they're not going to.
We're going to get out of here.

I still gotta tell Harlan he finally
struck it. He needs the dough.

I thought Harlan was dead.

Uh, uh, well... Uh-huh?

Not exactly.

You mean, we've
been out mining that...

We've been out mining
gold for Harlan Blackford?

Why didn't you... Why didn't
you tell me? Well, because...

either you'd yell at me for
using the suit for personal gain,

or you'd get that funny
look on your face...

like you're trying to slap a
halo on me, which just don't fit.

You think I'm kidding?

I didn't sleep last night. I couldn't. I
was too busy figuring how maybe...

I wouldn't have to tell
Harlan that we found it at all.

Or maybe that we did find it, and it
was not quite as rich as we thought.

I was shaving his interest
down to nickels and dimes.

Because he's an old man, lives alone,
real simple, doesn't need all that much.

The man that taught me most
of what I know that's worthwhile,

and I was selling him out.

Well, Bill, that's
just gold fever.

You know, we all got that.
Yeah, but you're greenhorns.

I'm an old-timer. I'm supposed to
know better. It's making me sick.

Yeah. This is it all right.

The Diablo.

Map ain't gonna do us no good.

I seen one once,
looked a lot like this,

and it just didn't
make no sense.

They're gonna have
to take us to the mine.

- Then what are we gonna do?
- We'll k*ll 'em, Fletcher,
like we always do.

Now hold it right here.

- Fletcher?
- Yeah, Pa?

Ben! Herd them all together
down here and watch 'em real close.

Yeah, Pa.

Doyle, the rest of you,
follow me on up here.

I don't like that guy. I think he's
crazy. I'm not going in that mine again.

Don't look at me funny,
Ralph. I'm not going in that mine.

Boy, I wouldn't go back in
that mine either. I tell you what.

Not for all the
gold that's in there.

It's not worth my life
anymore, Bill, you know?

Can you imagine those booby traps
set in there... waiting, all those years.

You almost bought it this
morning, Ralph. Sure did.

Boy, that, uh... that place
is a regular, uh, death trap.

That's a death trap, Bill.
What you talking about?

Well... I said, what
you two talking about?

Well, sh**t.

Well, gee, Bill, we might as well
tell him. I mean, he's gonna find out.

That, uh... That mine
is booby-trapped.

Aw, go on. It's the truth.

- It is.
- Fletcher!

Come on down here,
boy! It's right here!

Come on! Come on,
men! Come on, Pop.

All right. Ben, move 'em out.

- You two, move.
- Uh, Ralph?

- Move!
- Uh, boy,

I better tie my
shoe here real fast.

Come on. Boy, I'll tell
you what. That mine...

Or the, uh... The Diablo, The Lost
Diablo, as we've come to know it...

Well, actually, let's see, it isn't,
uh... it isn't really lost anymore, is it?

Because, we found it.
But anyway, that mine, see,

I figure it's been
there since about 1852.

Fletcher! Yeah,
Pa! I'll be... Whoa!

We gotta clear
this entrance out.

Hey! We got a lot of
work to do. Fletcher!

Hey, Ben! Bring them
kids on down here.

Bring 'em on down here.

Clear this entrance
now to the mine.

Come on. Get on down
here! Git, git! Move it!

- Move down here! Now, move!
- Pa! One of them got away!

Well, he ain't gonna get far.

Cooked that up between the
two of you. Ain't that about right?

Well, no, he panicked. Uh, uh,
he's afraid to go back in the mine.

Like I told you, it's
booby-trapped. That so?

Yeah, sure. Whoever
owned the mine before...

rigged it with all kinds
of booby traps in there.

Supposin' you help us
find them booby traps.

Come on. Come on.

It's clear now, Pa.

Yeah. Would you look at that?
The whole place is like that.

Yeah. It could go any time.

I'm telling you, it's
real dangerous in there,

even without those
booby traps they got.

In that case, you
all go in ahead of us.

Start walking. Now!

Now!

Stick together.

Come on. Come on. Come on!

Y'all come on now! You... You...
You all... You all get on in here,

in... in this part of the cave.

Get on in there now
and just walk around.

Come on! Get in
there and walk around!

Come on. Get in there!

I'm gonna try to
take out that Fletcher.

Bill, don't. Not without Ralph!

None of these guys got
both oars in the water.

But even Fletcher isn't dumb
enough to fire a g*n in this mine.

Will you keep an eye on 'em? Doyle,
let's go check out them other tunnels.

Come on. All of you!
Come on... except Fletcher.

- Fletcher?
- Huh?

Well, you big, long,
dumb drink of water.

Who you calling
a... A drink of water?

Fletcher, you're the
dumbest dumb guy I ever saw.

Hey. You watch your mouth, mister,
or I'll close it for you permanent.

- You can't do that.
- Hey, hey! Fletcher,
don't fire!

Here you go, Bill. That better?

Go, go, go!

Ralph?

- Aha. See? I told you. Look it there.
- Yeah.

Well, getting sloppy.

Okay, listen up! Everybody
take their own goods!

Let's get out of here. We
still got a long way to go.

I guess Mr. H. Went
for the cops, huh?

What about the others? Nobody
but Ralph could survive that.

They're all dead. Come
on. Let's get out of here.

All right.

That did it.

Yo, man. I still think we should have stayed
and collected more gold, is what I think.

Aw, we had to go back into town
'cause we had to call our folks.

My mom would have
k*lled me if I didn't call her.

Man, this trip was so sweaty. All that
gold and we barely came out with nothing.

- I still can't believe it.
- Neither can I.

All those years tramping around.

Finally find the Lost
Diablo, it's full of gold,

and we'll never
be able to touch it.

Well, Bill, you should have
known it was government property.

They don't give
out mineral rights.

We shouldn't have
gone to the assay office.

See, if we'd have
kept our mouths shut,

we could at least slip
in there on weekends.

Come on. That's ill*gal.

Harlan and me was
working this territory...

long before it reverted
to the federal government.

So I figure we
softened it up for them.

They owe us a little for that.
Give me a minute here, will you?

Hey, Tony, Cyler, Rodriguez.

I want to thank you guys for putting that
engine back in. You guys did a terrific job.

Yo, Harlan, that's a dandy
tan you're getting there.

Oh. That you, Billy? Yep.

Oh, can't be another
week's gone by.

Nah. Just a couple of days.

Ahhh. Glad I caught you sitting down,
though, 'cause I don't want you to fall down.

Are you ready for a surprise?

What am I talking
about? A surprise?

A shock, a big one.

Will you stop treating me like I'm something
that oughta be wrapped in cotton batten?

Okay. You remember
the map that you give me...

for the Lost Diablo mine?

Now you're saying my memory's
gone. Of course I remember!

Who's that? Uh, well, these are my
partners. There's too many to introduce.

Howdy. Well, howdy.

Hey. Oh, probably
nothing out there.

Probably been chasing
my tail all my life.

But you have a look
yourself one of these days.

Harlan? I already looked.

It's there.

Now we got a big, big problem with
the mineral rights, but... but it's there!

We found it! All those years you spent
ramming around the hills finally paid off.

Get a load of that.

It was there.

I knew it. I knew it. How
much you figure is in here?

Well, uh, I had to go shares
with a whole lot of partners,

so there's not much left.

But, uh, anyway, it
assays out at 250 an ounce,

and you can get yourself
a new pair of brogans,

some cigars, maybe
fix up the trailer.

Uh, I give that
map to you, Billy.

This don't belong to me. Here.

No, it was your map. The guy
with the map gets the goods.

No, no. No, no, Billy.

That's the only thing
I got left to leave you.

What, money? What, are you gonna
give me money? What are you gonna...

A fed. What is a fed, a working
fed gonna do with money...

except get himself
into some kind of pickle.

Pard, listen. Uh, you
taught me to sh**t straight.

Don't change the
rules on me now.

Well, thanks, son. Thanks.

Right. Okay, well, I've gotta get these,
uh, folks home, so I'll see you next week.

Right. Right.

Well, easy come, easy go.

Struck it rich.

How do you like that?

Struck it rich.