01x06 - Night of the Mechazoids

[bunniefuu]

- Previously on

"Tales of the Teenage
Mutant Ninja Turtles"...

This is where my story ends.

The evil Bishop,

who apparently
started off as not evil,

wanted to destroy
all mutants after

Superfly's attack on New York.

She lured us into a trap
and unleashed her Mechazoids

on me and my brothers.

The whole place blew up,
which totally wasn't my fault,

no matter what Raph says.

And we all got separated.

But even apart, we drew
strength from each other.

That's what families do.

We beat Bishop's robots
and are about to bring

the fight to her, which I'm
sure is gonna go just great.

[light upbeat music]

[indistinct chatter]

[glass shattering]

- Ah!

OK, so this is not an evil
robot factory, I'm guessing.

Sorry.

I mean, it's an honest mistake.

I'm sorry.
I'm just gonna... bye.

- [slurps]

[glass shattering]
Ah! Augh!

Uh, hey.

- * One, two, three, four *

[upbeat rock music]

* *

[foreboding music]

* *

- I told you it wasn't
the right place.

- It was the general area, OK?

And what are you, an expert
on evil villain lairs?

- I know they don't
usually valet.

* *

[loud clang]

[rat squeaking]

- Ha-ha.

The Mechazoid has to
be here somewhere.

And if I've learned
anything about ninja

through the various self-help
videos and kung fu movies,

it's going slow and silent.

- Hey, I know you're
in there, robot lady!

Open up!

This has to be the right place.

Ah, forget it.
Ahh!

[door squeaks]

* *

- It's pretty quiet.

- Too quiet, right?

Like, maybe the Mechazoid
knew we were following it

and led us into a trap
and at any second

an army of
destructo-bots is going

to come mess us up, right?

- Whoa, I just thought
they had good soundproofing.

You've really embraced
the whole paranoid

conspiracy thing.

[PA screeches]

- You were fools
to come back here.

* *

- Ahh!

- Now who's paranoid?

- You.

It's still you.

- Fools to come back here?

What do you mean,
come back here?

I'm pretty sure I'd
remember this dump.

- You don't remember?

- Whoa.

- This is where you destroyed
my life's work,

where you showed me
a new purpose.

* *

- Ahh!
[grunts]

[metal clangs]

* *

- That's a lot.

- OK, one,
we didn't destroy anything.

And two, aren't robots
supposed to help people?

- They are helping people,
by eliminating you.

- What are you
going on about, lady?

- I wasn't talking to you!

- You're not making any sense.

Are you feeling OK?

- It's a PA system.

She's talking to someone else.

- What?
Who could she be...

[gasps]
My brothers!

- My Mechazoids were
going to lift up humanity,

but I see now that they need
to protect us from mutants.

- Yeah, yeah, I got it, OK?

You hate mutants,
blah, blah, blah.

Now why don't you
show yourself,

and we can talk about it?

[alarm blaring]

[machine whirring]

Yeah, I don't... I don't think
we need to talk about it.

[robot whirring]

[footsteps pounding]

[grunting]

[grunting]

[whimpers]

- Goodbye, mutant.

- Ahh!

- Raph!
- Ugh! Augh!

[robot clanging]

- Ugh. Augh.

* *

- [gasps]
Leo? You're alive?

- Raph!

- I figured I was
the only one left.

- Me too.
I was just...

wait, why would
you be the only one left?

You didn't think
I could survive on my own?

Wait, what about
Mikey and Donnie?

- Move!

- That's what I'm
talking about.

OK, I get it.

This is us.

So that means these
are Mechazoids.

- Hi-yah!

[loud clanging]

Raph!

[robot clanging]

[groaning]

- Ah!

Ahh!

- Guys,
how's it going down there?

'Cause it doesn't look good.

And also, we've got a problem.

Um, there's Mechazoids
on their way.

- Why is April here?

- Not because
I asked her to come,

thereby putting her in
danger, that's for sure.

- [gasps]

- [grunts]

Look, Bishop,
you don't need to do this.

I promise you,
mutants are really reasonable.

We're super chill.

[bird cooing]

- What?

- Except for that one.

[bird cooing]

- Augh, I knew it!

There's even more
of you out there.

[bird caws]

- Guys?
You're alive!

- Mikey!

- Mikey, do you know
what this thing is?

- It's complicated, OK?

- We made it with mutant blood,
and I'm next.

- You made a mutant?

[grunting]

- Hey, where's Donnie?
- I'm right here.

Man, do I have
a tale to tell you.

both: Donnie!

- Just hang on.
Backup is on the way.

- Backup?

What are you talking about?

- Trust me,
you're gonna love it.

- Donnie!
- Leo!

- Oh, yeah!

Oh, let me get in on this.

- It's good to be
back together, boys.

- Yeah, I... I actually
missed you guys.

- Are we ready?
- Aw, yeah.

- Let's do this.

[upbeat rock music]

* *

[shouting]

[all grunting]

[electricity buzzing]

- Argh!

- Whoa!

- Wah!

[g*nf*re]

both: Ahh!

[electricity buzzing]

- Ahh!

- Ohh!

all: Augh! Augh!

- She seems pretty good
at kicking our butts.

- We can still do this.

There's four of us
and just one of...

[robots clanging]

[robots snarling]

OK, never mind.

[electronic beeping]

- T-T-Targeting all mutants.

[chain saw buzzing]

- Ahh!

[grunting]

- Ahh!

[bird squawks]

[bird cooing]

- [grunting]

- Your mere existence
is the asteroid

that destroyed the dinosaurs.

You are a freak accident
that threatens everything.

And I won't let that happen.

- Ahh-ahh!

- Mutants over robots all day!

All...
[gasps]

- Easy now.

Last time we tussled,
it didn't go so good for you.

- We have changed
since your first encounter.

- [grunting]

Wait, you talk now?

- Our code has grown
beyond its limitations.

- Guys, I've got backup coming.

We just have to hold out.

- You,
you're the one that tried

to overwrite my programming.

- Your programming is bad.

- Ahh!

[robot clanging]

- Ahh!

- 003, stop.

Rod is not a mutant.

- Incorrect.

His DNA contains a deviation.

- What?

- It means your eyes, dude.

- Will you shut up
about my eyes already?

- All life forms have the
potential for mutation,

including humans.

- What?

No!

I didn't write that
into your code.

Mechazoid 003, shut down.

[electronic beeping]

- No.

[tense music]

* *

- All Mechazoids, shut down!

I'm commanding you!

* *

No!
No!

Get back!

- Ahh!

[robots clanging]

- Well, our work here is done.

- Told her this
was gonna happen.

- Who's hungry?
- I could go for pizza.

- Oh, pizza sounds good.
Yeah, yeah.

[robots clanging]

- Ahh!

- They're gonna tear her apart.

- She probably should have
seen this coming, you know,

if she watched any
robot movie ever.

[alarm blaring]

- [snarls]

[loud clang]

- [shouting]

[chain saw buzzing]

- Ahh!

- You're an idiot,
but you're our idiot.

- Ow.

- Ahh!

- I'm not 100% clear on what
we're doing, but I'm in.

- Run!

We'll hold them off.

[robots clanging]

- Come on!

[grunting]

[both shouting]

- Augh!

[chain saw buzzing]

[alarm beeping]

- Hey, there's another
Mechazoid coming.

- Ahh!

Another?

[shouting]

[chain saw buzzing]

[grunts]

Ugh!
- Ugh!

[groans]

Guys, I'm sorry.

- You should be.

This was a terrible idea.

Augh!

- [groaning]

[robot whirring]

[upbeat rock music]

- Ahh!

- Augh!

- Mission objective,
protect all mutants.

- See, I told you
backup was coming.

- [gasps]
You did this?

- Yeah, I just switched
one line of your code.

One word, actually,
"destroy" to "protect."

See, I realized...

- Dude, don't ruin it.

- Yeah, for real.

Just take the win.

- Mechazoid 004
is unresponsive.

His code has been
corrupted by the mutant.

The life forms pose a greater
threat than we considered.

Therefore,
all life must be destroyed.

- Hey, you're outnumbered, man.

For a walking calculator, you
should really learn to count,

am I right?

- You're wrong.

[tense music]

* *

- [shouting]

[robots whirring]

[robots snarling]

- Learn how to count?

Yeah, you really
roasted her there, Leo.

[light jazzy music]

[loud rumbling]

[dramatic music]

* *

[all screaming]

[glass shattering]

* *

[bird cooing]

* *

- Where are the turtles?

- Ugh!

- Seriously?

- They saved your life, man.

* *

[robot clanging]

- What are we gonna do?

There's people out there,
the restaurant next door.

- I'm thinking.

- This can't be happening.

[gentle music]

All I wanted to do was
help people like my sister.

* *

- What happened to her?

- You actually want to know?

* *

Helena was born without legs.

* *

I made her prosthetics
that allowed her to walk.

She inspired me to do
more for the world.

I thought I could
save humanity.

- That's what
we're trying to do.

We love humanity.

We just wanted to be
a part of your world

with school and parties.

What I'm saying is,
we're not the bad guys here.

You made these robots.

Maybe we can help
you stop them.

Truce?

* *

- For now.

- Hey, you got a plan?

- Yeah, we go save people
while the brains figure out

how to stop the Mechazoids.

- Wait, what?

- Good plan.

- There's nothing we
can't handle together.

[all shouting]

[glass shattering]

[upbeat rock music]

* *

[robots clanging]

- Ahh!

* *

- Ahh!

- Whoa, save some
for the rest of us, Metalhead.

- I sincerely apologize.

- Hey, you're pretty
awesome, roboturtle.

Do you have a name?

- I am 004.

[robot clanging]

- Yeah,
let's just go with Metalhead.

[alarm blaring]

- Nothing's working!

The code's changing too fast.

- Donnie,
how'd you do it before?

- It was a lot easier then.

Now they're all
alive and stuff.

It's like they mutated.

- You should just turn 'em off.

- Oh, Rod,
you pampered imbecile,

for once in your life,
will you shut...

- No, wait, he's right.

- He is?

- I am?

- An electromagnetic pulse.

It's like an off switch
for everything technology.

- Of course.

If we could generate
one big enough,

it'd shut down all the
Mechazoids at once.

[electronic beeping]

[all screaming]

[tense music]

* *

- No.

- [grunting]

* *

- Oh, yeah, they're on the run.

- Incorrect.

They are returning
to Bishop's command center

to stop your friends
from detonating

an electromagnetic pulse,
which is bad.

- Once the device is detonated,
the resulting surge of energy

will disrupt electrical
signals and shut down

all technology
in a certain radius,

including the Mechazoids.

To achieve maximum range,
it needs to detonate

as high as possible.

- I can try to...

[all shouting]

- Destroy all
mutants and humans.

- Ahh!

[loud clang]

Sorry, it was on your face.

- Ow!

- [chirps]

- If one Mechazoid knows
we have the EMP, they all do.

They'll come for us.

- I don't want to
be that guy, but I

think they're already here.

- I'll take it to the roof.

- No, the Mechazoids
are my responsibility.

I will take it.

- OK, yep, that's great.

It does seem pretty
dangerous, so...

- Donnie!

- Fine, I'll go with her.
Happy?

[dramatic music]

* *

OK, we're on the roof.

Set it off.

- We're not high enough.

- How are we gonna get...

oh, that cell tower.

That should give
us enough altitude.

Quick, set the timer before
the Mechazoids get here.

[robots clanging]

Never mind.

[grunting]

Bishop, go!

[grunting]

I'll hold them off.

You take the EMP
and get to the tower.

[groaning]

Bishop!

- [grunts]
- [snarls]

- Ungrateful robot!

I created you!

[robot clanging]

- What's taking so long?

- Dude, it's Donnie.

He's probably too busy
being amazed by all this.

- Uh, guys,
these things aren't stopping.

Back now! Ah!

- I apologize
for destroying you.

[loud expl*si*n]

- What have I done?

* *

- Come on, come on, come on.

- We cannot allow you to
proceed, Josefina Bishop.

- Ugh!

I can't hold these
things off much longer.

- Raph?

- Your life function
will end now.

All life will end.

Destroy all mutants.

- That is not cool,
robot cousins.

Wait, stop, I need that arm.

Error, error.

- Metalhead?

[groaning]

- You have failed.

Mechazoids are superior
to organic life-forms

in every way.

- No!
- No!

[electronic beeping]

- And now the lives of you
and your mutant friends will...

[bird cawing]

- What?

[bird cooing]

* *

[electronic beeping]

- What the heck is that?

[timer beeping]

- Pigeon Pete!
Yes!

I made him!

You can do it, Pete.

* *

[bird cooing]

* *

[timer beeping]

[loud expl*si*n]

- Hate you.

- Ugh.

Uh, hello?

Evil robot?

- Ah!
[panting]

Wait a minute.

Did we actually win?

Mikey?

[sirens wailing]

- Metalhead, he didn't make it.

[somber music]

But he's a robot.

We can probably
just turn him on later.

We totally won.

- See, what did I tell you?

[bird cooing]

[electricity buzzing]

[all shouting]

- That's right, the Turtles
proved themselves heroes

once again, averting
a full-on Robo-Armageddon

with the help of a plucky
investigative journalist.

Remember, it's not
paranoia if you're right.

[phone beeping]

- Dad, Dad,
you're never gonna believe it.

I know what I want to be...
a mutant!

Yep, I just need
some mutant blood

and probably like
$5 million start-up cash.

- This pigeon's right kooky,
isn't he, mate?

Oh, I love him.

He's welcome to stay
with us.

[bird cooing]

Go, birdie.

Mad as a cut snake, this one.

What a hoot.

- My name is Josefina Bishop.

I want to turn myself in.

- We know who you are,
Ms. Bishop.

We are admirers of your work.

- What?

- You had the right idea
with your Mechazoids.

With enough resources, we think
you could help save the world

from the mutant threat.

Would you like that?

- Yes.

Yes, I would.

- You should've seen it.

- I was like the
leader of my own team.

- I told you.

- It was, like,
really cool, and there

was, like, a lot of chemistry.
- Beast mode.

- No, but for real, you guys,
even though you weren't there,

I felt like you were
there, you know?

You inspired me.

- Yeah, you read that
in a self-help book?

- Nerd.
[clears throat] Sorry.

- I thought it was beautiful.

- [yawns, chitters]

- Uh, the party?

We sort of skipped the party.

We kind of just want to hang
with each other tonight.

- [sighs, chitters]

[upbeat funky music]

* *

- Leo, Donnie is making
us watch nerd stuff.

Don't leave us in here alone.

- It's not nerd stuff.

It's an anime masterpiece.

- I'm coming.

* *