01x07 - Episode 7

[bunniefuu]

All right, honey.

That bank's got a rock-solid safe

a rock-solid security system,

and rock-solid guards.

The whole shebang.

It's literally impenetrable.

Nobody's ever been able to break in.

Great, so how are we

supposed to rob it?

Who knows! That's the challenge!

If we botch this

like all the other idiots

then we'll be stuck

behind bars in no time.

So, honey,

how would you approach it?

Like, don't bother and just give up?

You're a smart cookie, honey!

That is an option.

But that's not how I roll.

Present me with an impenetrable bank

and I break into it.

Not for the money, of course.

But because it's never

been done before.

Just think of the thrill.

You and I are going to

make a laughingstock of it.

I knew you weren't like

all those other brainless dummies

out on the streets, Puddin'.

This is my kinda date!

Guess what?

I've found a way

to crack it wide open.

And how's that?

It's simple, really

Hard to believe they built all that

in just one night.

Ugh! We're already short

on time as it is!

They're gonna do

every damn thing they can

to stop us from resetting

our bombs, huh?

Stupid jerks!

Well, it's working.

I really must hand it to them.

A stage like that would be suitable

for something like

Beauty and the Beast or maybe even

Our friggin' heads are gonna

go flying in a few hours.

Get serious!

Aw. Me need those.

Take a good look.

They've got those damn elves

all over the place.

There's no way in.

Yeah, this is gonna be

a pain in the a*s.

We're going to get caught if we just

rush in there without a good plan.

So listen up, nobody better

jump the g*n this time!

Clayface, can you make a map?

That's a silly question.

Who do you think you're talking to?

Behold!

I'll be damned!

Okay.

From what I could see, there are

soldiers posted from here to here.

And they're lined up side by side

with no space to sneak through.

Oh? Your precision is impressive.

No matter how crooked

they become later

- soldiers are trained to be precise.

- Hey, don't pretend you know me.

I was crooked

before I joined the military.

I bet.

What's the matter?

Look over there!

Oh, it's her.

The b*tch who helped Ratcatcher.

I had heard

she was leading their group

but I still can't believe it.

Things just got a whole lot tougher.

We can't k*ll that egghead without

luring her away from him first.

Then why don't we just beat

the hell out of the mad scientist

and that sword wh*re

at the same time?

Two shitty birds with one stone!

Plus I can get my revenge!

It's the perfect plan!

If only it were that simple.

Jeez! What do you want?

Me want see too.

Seriously, you guys?

So, how exactly are we gonna

break into the impenetrable fortress?

Based on what he said last time

all of the soldiers' brains

are connected.

Although, normally

the strain from that should have

fried their brains to a crisp.

His "Thinking Cap"

is what makes it possible.

Which means we need to find a way

to get it off him.

Impregnable, impregnable

Hey, I've got it!

So this one time,

Puddin' and I robbed a bank.

And cracked a safe that was kept

under super tough security.

Can you guess how we did it?

What is this? Bragging time?

You figured it out with skills

that you accumulated

in a training montage?

Like how it goes in the comics.

Hey! I'm being serious here!

Anyways, the point is that the safe,

the security system, and the guards

aren't even important!

It's the people who matter.

So all we gotta do is

threaten the guy who has the keys.

In other words

Very nice.

Now we have

the last piece of the puzzle.

Why didn't I think of that myself?

I absolutely hate that smirk

on your face

but it does get me excited!

Here's how this is gonna go.

For starters

Harley, King Shark, Clayface, and I

will approach the fortress

from the back.

For crying out loud!

This is humiliating!

- Keep it down!

- I'm not a toy, dammit!

How dare you do this to

You better not mess this up.

Break a leg out there, Nana.

Oh, and remember not to eat this guy.

He clay. Not eat 'cuz taste bad.

Me carry him. Do good job.

Listen here, Nanaue!

I'm going to tell you one last time!

What?

W-Well

Water is bad for me!

Clay may be wet, but it's not water!

So don't soak me in the water!

No matter what!

Are we clear?

Got it.

Me dive now, okay?

Son of a b*tch!

Did you hear a word I said?

Hey, stop! Dammit!

Hopefully there'll still be

some of him left.

Bye-bye.

Let's move.

While King Shark takes

Clayface over to the fortress

Colonel Flag and Deadshot

will head for the front gate

and wait for the signal.

After you see the signal

Colonel Flag will attack and lure

the elves to the hut located here.

You don't want me to attack?

No, Deadshot.

We need you to keep an eye on

what's happening inside the fortress.

Take command

of the infiltration team.

Make sure they don't get caught.

You're not the boss of me, jackass!

So, when's this signal coming?

Uh, actually did we even decide

what the signal would be?

- Go now!

- What?

That was the signal! Move your a*s!

Aw jeez!

Come and get it! I'm over here!

I'm enjoying the hell outta this.

All right.

Time to get started!

It's about time.

Go ahead and try

whatever strategy you want.

This fortress will never fall.

So, will you attack me with numbers?

Or weapons?

Or perhaps some sort

of new metahuman power?

Summon her! There's work to do!

You're next, Clayface.

After you hear the signal,

start working your magic.

H-Hey there

You needed me for something?

Ah, yes that's right!

Then get to the point.

The point?

Uh, well, you see

I wanted to have a discussion with

you regarding the brain's structure.

Will you join me over in that lab?

There's something

I would like to show you.

You could stand to benefit

from ruminating about

intelligence once in a while.

Because spending too much time

staring at your sword

- will turn your brain to metal.

- Clayface will transform himself

into Thinker

and keep Katana distracted

while Harley and I kidnap one

of the elves to imprison in the hut.

How are we going to lure one in?

I'll disguise myself as an elf.

Should be simple.

- Huh?

- Huh?

Real friggin' funny.

You can't seriously think

Whoa! That's what you look like?

See? They'll never catch on.

Wait, hold on. Go take

a good look in the mirror, pal.

'Cuz there's no way in hell a buff

mofo like you can pass for an elf!

Oh, come on

Somebody wake Nanaue up!

Change of plans!

I see.

So this is the telepathy device, huh?

I've heard all your brains are

connected as a single unit.

That makes you easy to command.

The perfect army.

But I'm curious!

Do all of you

have enough integrity not to crack

under intense pain and fear?

Nana, don't eat him! Stop it!

What are you fools doing?

Go to the soldier whose frequency is

the most out of whack!

Time to kick some a*s, Nana.

Yeah.

Seems like

everything's going smoothly.

Keep it coming, suckers!

There's the signal.

Nana! Arty! Play nice, okay?

Brainless fools! What are they doing?

There's no army waiting

to ambush us outside the fortress

and no magical weapons

from the Kingdom!

Not even a new metahuman power!

So what the hell are they up to

Hi there, Mr. Egghead!

Is that outfit trendy

over in the Empire or what?

It's you

It looks like total sh*t to me.

Well, now. This is amusing.

Your plan is so utterly idiotic

I never bothered

to consider it a possibility.

I guess I overestimated you

a little too much.

Sounds to me like

you're just butthurt

because you couldn't find

a way to cheat and win.

Where is Katana?

She's not coming.

'Cuz we've got you keeping her busy.

The one time I need her

and she's useless.

Enough chit-chat.

We gotta settle this sh*t fast.

'Cuz nobody wants their head

going kablooey!

Ready for the pain?

Ow!

Hey!

Stop predicting all my moves!

How am I supposed to hit you?

You simple-minded fool.

I'm not just going to let you hit me.

Screw it!

Eh?

Look at all the birdies!

Heh. How dumb can you get?

Look at that big-a*s head!

You intentionally took a hit

to the head

so I can't read what you're thinking.

But that only works

on a surface level.

I can always just dive deeper

into your head!

Go ahead and try!

Scramble my brain

like you did to everybody else!

Stupid b*tch!

You're going to regret this!

So, these are Harley Quinn's

No, Harleen Quinzel's memories?

She was a psychiatrist

at Arkham Asylum

with a bright future ahead of her,

but then

Hey, Doctor.

Got a question for ya.

If you really love me,

would you die for me?

C'mon. Prove it.

Fall down and swear

an eternal oath to me.

H-Harley?

Oh, don't have a fit.

You'll be okay

as long as you love Puddin'.

- Ain't that right?

- What's going on?

How are you doing this?

It shouldn't be possible!

So, which side are you on?

We'll find out

once he takes the fall.

- Wait! Wait!

- Do it!

Please don't!

No!

Didja have a nice dream?

It over now?

Hot damn! Look at this bloodbath.

What are you giving me

that look for?

You knew this was the plan all along.

Guess I can't complain

about being labeled a villain now.

Let's get going.

We don't have much longer

until the bombs go off.

Now you show up?

For the guy known as being

the smartest man in the world

you didn't amount to very much.

Ugh, I'm soaked to the bone.

What the hell?

Aren't you on the same side?

He was only worth

keeping around for his cap.

So this is perfect.

I'll give you credit.

That was a pretty good plan.

Clay!

Not again!

This b*tch really pisses me off!

Hey, Clay!

You gonna sit there

like sludge or what?

I can't proclaim to be a gentleman

if I don't step up

when a lady needs me!

Wow! So you do have

a face under there.

You're a fascinating woman

Harley.

Well, thanks.

Not so fast!

That jerk!

Stop!

Chasing them now would be

a waste of energy.

We'll have to get our revenge

another day.

It sucks that she got away,

but at least we still have our heads.

Oh, yeah!

I totally forgot about that!

Lucky us!

I'm friggin' sick and tired

of having to rush all the time

'cuz of these stupid bombs.

Can't you do

something about 'em?

Don't look at me.

It's out of my hands.

sh*t.

All right.

Time for us to report the good news.

Report?

To who? And how?

Keep it up, Arty!

You're almost there!

Wow! Way to go, Arty!

A round of applause!

Pretty good work

for his first mission.

What did you say?

Well, um

one of the Empire's generals

and his elf forces

that established a new fortress

have all been defeated per a report.

That escaped g*ng of hooligans

from the other world were

apparently responsible for it.

Cecil!

Dispatch our troops!

Bring those b*stards here

to the castle!

And cut their heads off

if they try to resist!

- Y-Yes, Your Majesty.

- Y-Yes, Your Majesty.

Mother?