02x02 - Larry on the Loose

[bunniefuu]

oh Larry what a surprise you're doing

housework is Sharon stinking drunk again

CH Sharon's fine oh you poor groin

b*stard I'm sorry Larry I kid but I kid

with love come on sit sit sit sit sit

Miss look I don't have time for this I

have to finish vacuuming Drive the kids

to their piano lesson patch the roof and

clean the gunk out of the dog's

eyes uh listen Larry oh I still have

this in case you want to borrow it not

now Chris okay well it'll always be in

my back pocket in case you listen Larry

I need your advice I am doing some

really radical things to this new place

of mine okay listen to this first I'm

going to move the lawn mower to the foot

of the bed then I'm going to put ceiling

mirrors over the workbench to kind of

open things up a little bit and I'm

transforming a stack of newspapers into

kind of a Nifty breakfast nook set off

by either this flad wallpaper take a

look at that or now sh**t me but this is

my first

choice this fun pink Chiffon

drapery am I nuts who cares what does it

matter well geez Larry you know I know

your life sucks but do you have to drag

the rest of us down into your own

personal health Larry I don't hear the

vacuum oh Chris I thought I smelled

something fat and flabby Chris was just

telling me about the plans for his new

apartment oh you must be so proud it's

not every 30-year-old who has a garage

to call his

home well thank you very much Sharon and

uh may I remind you that the word garage

is actually derived from the

French team's place of the

Gods you still have a lot of work to do

this is no time to be sitting around

playing with a

baboon bab you got a monkey where's the

monkey monkey

monkey oh GE Sharon do you have to raise

my hopes each and every time I come over

here I'll keep the simple Lawrence if

you're still sitting around next to it

when I return you're in big trouble yes

Sharon yes

Sharon I don't know how you can put up

with it gosh you know I could never you

ever since I've moved out

I've just been in heaven I love the

freedom freedom freedom freed I'm so

relaxed relaxed rela relax relx there's

no pressure pressure

pressure pressure I'm all alone alone

alone

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freee plus I finally have a place to

practice my nude robot dancing would you

excuse me for a moment oh

sure well anyway being alone is well

it's so wonderful and quiet and well for

some reason stench ridden but in a good

kind of robust healthy way you know

Chris since you love your new place so

much maybe you should never leave you

know I'd be happy to nail you in there

permanently oh no what is it well I just

realized something terrible you and I

are the only people in this room Larry

Larry get out here you're k*lling me I'm

alone with Shar Je I got the dry

heat hilarious I need a bag you got a

bagar to everyone I'm sorry I can't take

it anymore I'm Gone Forever

goodbye yours

Larry O

PS thank you Chris for showing me the

way jeez a list of random meaningless

unconnected words scrolled on an

incredibly flimsy piece of wood what

could you possibly mean by all

this stand in the place where you live

now think about Direction wonder why you

haven't now stand in the place where you

were now face think about the place

where you live wonder why you having

people and in the place where you

live my direction wonder why you have it

now stand in the place where you were

now place with us a place where you live

wonder why you hav stand in the place

where you

are so

stand oh oh it's horrible I can't sleep

I I can't eat I I haven't bathed I just

I can't get on with my life Chris

Larry's only been gone 15 minutes Dad do

you know that on some planets 15 minutes

is like 10

years pleas take it easy this is no big

deal but when you were young your father

used to disappear for days at a time and

every time I'd come back you'd still be

here I can't tell you what a

disappointment it was thanks gosh you

two guys are a comfort and you do my

heart

good but I'm sorry I'm just not going to

let this incident be swept under the

proverbial cheese steak people just

don't disappear tell me about it I mean

uh what could have happened to them it's

as if uh some South American goon squad

just came in and and swept him

away hey maybe I should talk to a our

friends over at the American

Embassy Chris this is America we don't

have American embassies

here geez isn't that great boy we got

plenty of money to build embassies in

countries that don't want them like

France and and upper France but here

right in America where we meet them

we're too cheap to build them glus don't

you look forward to the day when we both

lose our hearing hey Mom Dad you guys

have both lived long learned much and

well eaten

well now I look into your shrunken

shriveled faces and I ask you should I

go off and look for Larry by myself well

would that entail your leaving our

presence for an extended period of time

yeah it probably will then we

insist it's done then I shall search for

Larry all by myself I shall call in

every favor ever owed to me all my

Powers all my cunning all my Ingenuity

shall be brilliantly combined into one

cord ordinated Supreme search effort

like none the world has ever

seen

Larry

Larry

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Larry Larry are you underground is it

possible that you fell underground

Larry lry

Larry

Larry

Larry

Larry

Larry Larry

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hey do you mind keeping it down some of

us are trying to read don't try to

console me Gus I've just lost the best

friend I've ever had yeah we get over it

will yeah you're making me sick no sir I

will not just get over it no as long as

Larry is gone on I am officially on a

hunger strike I will no longer cut my

hair and I pledge never ever to make my

trademark

noise again come on everybody join hands

together come on all of us let's stand

as one come on we shall overcome come on

let's go all right all right I'll help

you just shut up hooray hooray everybody

did you hear that he's going to help us

you are a kind and caring man yeah

what's going to cost you $25 an hour 50

if I get shot at Great look let's get

busy all right what I like to do is to

go totally by gut instinct never ever

give up and keep a positive

attitude let's hit the

morg hi my sweet

Papoose it's my friend you sick ghoulish

b*stard that's my

lunch jeez I'm sorry you know I thought

he tasted a little Tangy Chris the

bodies are over here

oh now braak for yourself kid this can

be pretty

chilling oh oh I see what you mean hey

hey wait a second that's Mr Wilkinson my

old gym teacher you know this guy used

to be so mean to me hey look who's in

better shape now wilon I'm dancing on

Your Grave old man take a look I'm on

the time of my life no I think maybe you

could use a little exercise how about

some situps let's try those 1

2 hey what did this guy die of anyway

leprosy well luckily I already had

that we haven't got time for game

playing this is a morg not an amusement

park e this guy's all puffy and Bloated

and

doughy he's probably better off

dead oh I'm sorry could you just tell me

what those green tags are for does that

mean they're on

sale I'm sorry I just really wanted to

break the tension it was getting a

little thick in it seriously would that

be out of the realm of

possibility so are these the only SS

you've gotten in the last 24 hours

that's it we'll keep an eye out for him

you guys got any dental records you can

send me uh no but I actually have this

plaster cast mold of his

teeth Mr Peterson those are chattering

gag tee

oh I'm

sorry there we go there they are see

them thanks oh that's the first time

that my hunch has been

wrong ah who am I kidding it wasn't a

hunch I just like looking at stiffs and

the food here isn't half

bad but don't worry I got a backup plan

and if it doesn't fail I think it just

might work listen you lying little

little piece of Filth I know you're

holding out on me I want you to tell me

where you saw Larry and what he said to

you I'll smash your head against the

wall so hard they'll be hosing your

brains off it for a month I swear I

swear I don't know any

Larry get out of my sight you disgusting

worm it's all right kid but sometimes

grabbing a guy at random on the street

and scaring a snot out of him can't get

you to leave let's hope some nosy jerk

didn't videotape the whole thing that's

okay so what are we doing next do we

have time for a muffin break don't worry

kid I still have a few professional

tricks up my

sleeve

Larry Larry oh

Larry

Larry oh Larry come on Larry

Larry lar Larry are you on there

Larry I am not one to be a Qui with or

throw in the towel but I mean let's face

it it's been what well damn 2 hours I

think if you check statistics you'll

find that no one has ever found after

this

long between you and me I've just

completely lost

interest

Gus Gus it's Larry it's

Larry Larry oh look at you Larry oh

Hur

I dry your tears my grieving Black Widow

for I'm here to sprinkle Sunshine into

your crusty smelly mascara Street eyes

you don't want to mess with me today

Chris my husband ran off leaving me in a

bludgeoning

mood I don't know what that means are

you thirsty

uh at any rate Sharon I'd like to

introduce to you now a gentleman who has

just completed a grueling tour of the

underworld would you please welcome your

long lost husband Mr Lawrence W Potter

Get the Hell in

there oh look at them they're back

together again it's so beautiful come on

come on hug oh come on hug hug that old

feeling back come on kiss yes damn you

love will not be denied get him out of

here Sharon you're not going to forsake

Him simply because he's fallen on hard

times are

you even he thinks you're crazy oh okay

well if it's not Larry how come he

understood his secret love

language he's speaking Italian well

Sharon that's ridiculous where would he

have learned It Italy's miles from

here Larry is not a wreaking stinking

unshaven baggy pants

wio Oh Sharon I think think maybe father

time has sweetened your memory just a

bit give it up Chris if that was Larry

there's no way he would let us bring him

back to

her you know come to think of it I don't

remember Larry throwing up so much well

I guess I have been had and by the best

in the business too you know I got a

hand it to you pal you had his voice and

mannerisms down past lucky I don't rip

you aart come on let's go yeah okay fine

show's over we'll see you at the Sands

Rich Little

oh boy a thousand apologies to all

concerned but especially to you dear

Sharon for raising your hopes so high

only to dash them on the rocky shores of

cr*cker Fox

Palace get out I can't help but notice

that you're in an awful big hurry to get

rid of us now why in the world would

that be you know what I'm starting to

think I'm starting to think that maybe

Larry's not out there at all maybe

Larry's right here here and this broad

is speaking in half

truths what are you insinuating uh sh

Gus's mind is starting to work listen

you can almost hear the sound of cranks

and

pulley how come you were so sure that

wasn't Larry even though his best friend

and a wrongly dismissed cop were duped

because Larry's best friend and the

fired cop are

morons you knew that wasn't Larry

because Larry is dead what m*rder*d in

Cold Blood chopped up and feeding the

worms in the

backyard yes yes oh it's true the

evidence is overwhelming oh please oh

this is so exciting this is like one of

those m*rder Mystery Dinner things

except there's no or deres and Jamie far

isn't in it you were here you saw Larry

Lee don't tell me what I saw I could

have been done with mirrors you do use

mirrors don't

you oh what I wouldn't give to poke

around in that backyard of yours oh what

I wouldn't give to poke around in that

thick skull of yours get out of here

before we're numbers two and

three relax kid wherever Larry is he's

in a better place than with her even if

he's lying in a ditch with his head

ripped

off I just can't give up it's just not

in me I have no choice try dig down

deep okay he's gone thanks a lot good

work well now that Larry is no longer in

my heart I guess the task before me is

as clear as a newborn baby's flim I must

find a new

friend new

friend new

friend new

friend

no

friend hi fellas will you be my new

friends Jack

[Music]

Gum I'm not here go away or I'll put a

round through your

forehead oh Gus Gus it's so wonderful to

hear your comely voice again

K you get any blood on my carpet and

I'll knock the rest of your teeth out it

was horrible I was in a bar oh and they

got mad and I got hit and there were

fists and there were wigs

and I think those Jacks might be giving

me

indigestion they made you eat

Jacks no but they're in

me put your whing here put this on your

eye oh thank

you wait a second Gus could it be

possibly true do you know that nobody

has ever given me their used ice before

so you owe me one suddenly it's clear it

was you that stuck by me through all of

this you clutched my hand when I

faltered and grabbed my tender and Gorge

breast upon stumbling you shut up I'm

trying to watch my

stories all along I was looking for

something out there that was sitting in

here watching old reruns and eating

curdled oriental food something that

screamed new friend with every wheezing

cough from its ravaged

lungs

something called

Gus the last guy that got this close to

me is swinging from a tree and

num

oh my God it's the ghost of Larry

Potter I promise I promise I'll change

my ways I I really do like Christmas I

do look I'm going out right now to buy

the biggest goose in the window Chris

I'm not a ghost oh yeah right you're not

a ghost if you're not a ghost how come

you can go right through this

wall jeez Larry I guess you're not a

ghost uh sorry about that I wandered

around for most of the day and I had

nowhere to go so I came over here

I don't know what to do now I want to go

home but I'm afraid of what Sharon is

going to do to me well Larry relax it's

not going to be worse than anything you

can see on hard

copy oh Larry no seriously pal you you

got to go

home you're right I guess even with all

the trouble I love my family and like

anything good you have to work at it

well that's that's very true Larry and

you know you're family really loves you

and they care about you and depend on

you

too especially those kids kids think

about your

job your mortgage morgage all those

financial

burdens leaky roofy roofy Plumbing

Bild all those

Shores I think I'm getting a t would you

be a love to take a like you sure

Larry

Larry

Larry

hello huh Dear Chris thanks for making

me to see the light again I Was a Fool

ever to return

Larry

P.S this time I'm truly gone

forever just some more of Larry's

meaningless

poetry the poor dumb can't put two

coherent thoughts on paper I'll call him

tomorrow on an allnew Simpsons followed

by a special presentation of Herman's

head and an allnew 90210 now stay tuned

for Charlie

Hoover

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