01x21 - The One Where Chris and Larry Switch Lives

[bunniefuu]

[Music]

oh look Larry I told you we'd be able to

find it and it would still be here great

great let's just get out of here I'm

getting creepy dead Indian Vibes well

that would make sense wouldn't it

considering this is an ancient Indian

burial

ground look it's so cool with the the

Moonlight and the trees and the ancient

rotting bones beneath our feet

it's the perfect place for a pretend

make out date hi what

okay I know

mhm you have beautiful

fingers are those Le press on

nails I won't tell

what I

didn't Larry would you stop staring at

us like we're a couple of freaks come on

join in why do you think we climbed all

the way up up here Chris we're 50 ft

from the back of the mall look I got to

get back or Sharon's going to k*ll me

tonight's a night I make taffy from

scratch with the kids taffy from scratch

wow marvelous oh how I envy your fairy

tale life jeez why don't you just take a

g*n and blow your head look uh Larry

before we leave why don't we just look

around for something neat Chris we

didn't find anything neat when we were

kids we're not going to find anything

neat now well Larry that's because when

we were kids we didn't know exactly

where to look but now that we're

grown-ups we know that we must look on

the ground let's just get out of here

Larry Larry look look Chris that is

nothing it is nothing but an authentic

Indian arroe

Head wow jeez it's gorgeous isn't it I

can't wait to get this home Chris you

can't take that from here this is sacred

Indian ground well Larry I'm not going

to do anything disrespectful with it I'm

going to put it on my Dad's chair and

then look at his face when he sits on it

CH don't you remember the

curse did I remember to curse no Chris

the Indian curse anyone who takes

anything from their burial ground will

be confronted with his own worst

nightmare oh jeez I'm really

scared I'm scared come and get me

ancient Spirits look come on I've taken

your Arrowhead look at me woo I'm

putting it in my pocket right now come

on Hit Me With Your Best

mojos babies

did you feel

that oh yeah right Larry that was an

ancient Indian curse kicking in and not

just a very localized thunderstorm and

about an 8.7

earthquake

stand in the place where you live now

think about Direction wonder why you

have now stand in the place where you

were now face think about the place

where you live wonder why you having

people stand in the place where you

live out Direction wonder why you hav't

now stand in the place where you were

face the place where you live wonder why

you have stand in the place where you

are

stand

[Music]

what hey you neighbor kids knock off

that damn rock and

roll probably a new pulse Simon

album tonight underneath my pillow

tomorrow underneath my daddy's

rear I do so love parlor

tricks Indian curse

indeed

[Music]

what the hell are you doing in my bed

and why have you redecorated my room

like a wh house wait a second this isn't

my room it's your bedroom what are you

babbling

about oh my

oh I must have been

sleepwalking jeez I pray to God all I

was doing was

sleepwalking stop it come on give us a

good morning kiss

ew Larry you're irritating me a little

earlier in the day than usual and this

is not good Sharon why do you keep

calling me Larry what why is everything

fuzzy

today oh oh that's much

better Oh e I'm wearing his old man

pajamas his underpants

too and something with string and

elastic okay all right Sharon what's the

joke come on is it tricks or treats I am

I supposed to give you some candies now

I don't me are you feeling all right you

know you're not looking too well mhm

okay okay Sharon thank you very much

that's enough I see through your stupid

little joke

y kids kids come on kids I'm not your

daddy don't you recognize me it's it's

Chris your daddy's idiot friend from

down the street daddy don't tell jokes

you know you're not very good at that

honey honey I'm not your daddy thank God

I'm Chris Peterson I'm too young to have

kids daddy you're scaring

me Sharon I can't believe you would

stoop so lows to rope your own children

into this six charade of yours all right

Larry where are you Larry where are you

oh kids I'm sorry Larry your father is

obviously going through the change but I

promise I'll will not some sense to him

later okay now Grand along all

right and as for you clown get your

clothes on and get the hell to

work work oh work that's that's where

Larry is well I'll just go down oh I

can't go dress like this can i

[Music]

h oh my God he's got the entire Johnny

Carson

collection hey Potter you're late the

boss is going to k*ll you what is this

drive Chris nuts until he sticks his

head in a blender

day okay Larry

you got me

good you're 20 minutes late Potter that

goes on my report and gives me another

reason to dislike

you look uh lady I'm sick of this joke

okay so um here's a buck why don't you

uh go out and buy yourself a pretty bra

huh and some cake

mix but listen before you do that would

you tell me where Larry is Larry you're

annoying me earlier in the day than

usual and that's not good this guy gets

it at home and the office

what a poor Whi b*stard you don't want

me to call your wife again do you and

tell her how displeased I am very good

look lady why don't you just save your

smelly breath okay because I've got the

PIN to pop your prank balloon I happen

to know that Larry always keeps a

picture of his family right here on his

desk

bam ah uh father you're only getting in

deeper which I enjoy but I do have

better things to do today so get me

those figures you promised first get me

a cup of

coffee

lady you are out of your clar allhe

headed mind father okay right away let

me get that for

you jeez what's happening to me I'm

actually losing the will to resist

orders could it be that I'm I'm actually

turning into

Larry no that's impossible Potter yeah

let me get you your here here we

go now start adding

worm oh oh okay uh sure uh

huh uh you know I I I think there must

be some mistake here this page is full

of numbers with uh with those those

little dot period things and and that

makes it very

confusing I am

waiting I can't add this that's why you

have an adding machine

wow hey a machine that actually

adds numbers jeez boy why didn't

somebody tell me about this in

school jez you know there's always a

catch isn't there it's just too

complicated for an average fell like me

to operate all right that's in

subordination you're fired Potter well

you can't fire me because I never worked

here at least I don't think I did but in

case I did I quit okay honey take a look

at me I'm bumping and grinding my way

out of your hearts okay you're not going

to have me or whoever the hell I am to

kick around

anymore that's it poter you're fired and

I'm pressing charges fine come and get

me you know where I

live man I am in Des need of

help I'm going to find my mommy and

daddy more coffee Dear No thank you glce

another cup and you left to scrape me

off the

ceiling oh thank God oh Mom and Dad

there you both are sitting at the

kitchen table with that dumb as a tree

look glce his 20 bucks will you do me a

favor and throw this Mor on out

more oh my dear loving father you do

recognize me are you seeing things Larry

or did that battle ax wife of yours hit

you with a skillet

again ma ma surely you must recognize

the fruit of your loins I have no

quarrel with you Larry but come any

closer and I'll bury a butter knife in

your

chest I don't know what's happening to

me I I must have gotten some bad liquor

or something oh come on Potter we all

know you don't drink you sure it isn't

some kind kind of a reefer of Madness

type

deal dad what do I have to do to prove

to you that it's

me well I know remember all those

wonderful times we spent

together well there's got to be

something

there oh oh yeah remember the time I

left the car idling in the garage and

and then the fume seeped in and we ended

up face down in our

lasagna now how would I know that if I'm

not me cuz that's just the idiotic type

of thing CH would brag about to his best

friend I'm

Chris hi Mom hi Dad oh hi

[Applause]

[Music]

sad hi Larry didn't even notice you over

there never believe what happened to me

today I'm riding along and boom this guy

hits me with his car I go right through

the windshield and land in his lap not a

scratch on me I look up and it's Robert

goulay now I'm just kidding that really

didn't happen but wouldn't it be weird

if it

did uh uh Larry I've got to talk to you

Larry you're Larry what'd you do get a

hold of some bad

liquor Larry something horrible is going

on here it all started when I woke up

this morning next to a hideous redheaded

lump in layman's terms

Sharon ous lump Larry that's your wife

you're talking talking about you finally

comeing to your senses Lor you're the

only one I can trust not to think I'm

crazy somehow you and I have switched

places through some kind of cosmic rip

in the universe either that or David

copperfield's in the

neighborhood Larry look I know that if

we don't panic we put our heads together

we can solve

this I'm sorry I wasn't listening do you

like root beer I can't believe what an

idiot I am how do people put up with me

I've got a mind like a

Sie Larry Larry something Dreadful is

going on here my life sucks and it's

supposed to be your life that sucks

relax nobody's life sucks as long as Mr

horsey High's still alive oh I hate

me you and your nutty glue sniffing

[Applause]

friends

oh I had nowhere else to go where the

hell have you been I called your boss

she told me about your little Outburst

but fortunately for you I convinced her

to give you another chance and I

promised her that tomorrow you'd be in a

crawling mood as for what I'm going to

do with you well I'm still working on

that look Sharon I've had a very rough

day okay I've just been fired from a job

I don't have my parents don't know who I

am anymore somebody else is living my

pure sweet life and I have a piece of

baloney in my teeth that I can't seem to

get out right in my back now I'm going

to go upstairs strip totally naked and

crawl into what for some reason I still

don't know why has now become our bed

not Mis have you entirely forgotten your

familial

responsibilities this evening you have

to finish paying this month's bills and

help the children with their homework oh

and you've got to finish Heming that

dress for me too

oh my god oh if I ever change back

please don't let me forget he has to

hammer

dresses Daddy can you help me with my

homework oh

I okay uh sweetheart what do you have

fractions fractions oh fractions well uh

you know they're really easy fractions

are uh they use the uh you know the

square root canal thing and and uh and

then they have that um you know that

stupid pie logo thing they work with

Okay good luck

honey mommy when did daddy become such a

Daddy help me

now wait a second you're studying

already geez you know in my day you

didn't have to start studying until you

were old enough to figure out a way how

to get out of

it come on Daddy I need help no I'm

studying Indian

curses Indian curses you see that the

most powerful and fear curs is of B when

an individual takes an item from a

sacred Indian burial ground like say an

ancient Indian

Arrowhead the end result typically is

that the individual is forced to live

out his worst

nightmare

huh this sounds Vaguely Familiar but I

don't know

why wait a second this is not unlike

whated happened to me yes yes I'm cursed

I'm cursed and I'm living out My Own

Worst Nightmare oh my God and I'm I'm

trapped forever what will I

do the only way to lick the curse is to

return the stolen object to the sacred

burial ground within 24 hours of its

theft if the person does not the curse

is permanent and

irrevocable

huh what does irrevocable mean it means

it can't be changed

back holy crap I got to get that Arrow

pit back where did I leave it oh oh yeah

up on underneath the pillow excuse me

honey I have to go now and do whatever

the hell I can to get out of this

hellish nightmare life that you and I

are

living okay all right all I've got to do

is find the arrowhead and get it back to

the Indian burial ground in in a half an

hour where is

where would I put it all right all right

just be calm think rationally okay

that's easy all right all right now wait

a second no it wouldn't be under my

pillow it would be under my pillow which

is technically his pillow oh God I'm

going to be so happy when that kind of

talk doesn't make sense to me

[Music]

anymore

jeez what a slob I

am and now that I'm no longer myself I I

know what everybody meant by that

stink good eve sir I realized that you

are a car but I must reprimand you for

trying on my

pants I can't believe it this guy even

dreams my recurring

dreams

someone's in my room go away I'm young

and innocent would you shut up Larry

Chris it's me Chris

Larry I came for the arrowhead no way

it's my arroe head look I've got to get

the arrowhead back to the Indian burial

ground in in less than 20 minutes

otherwise I'm destined to be married to

Sharon for the rest of my life which of

course would only be as long as it takes

me to throw myself in front of a truck

on the interstat give it to me oh wait

give it it's give it to me give it to me

jeez go he's actually winning I always

knew I could beat that little girl scout

Larry it's not actually helping me

though is

it oh oh Chris Chris I give

[Music]

up boy oh I give up wow oh jeez give it

to me

no come back here you five

eyes

lry give me back my Arrowhead no it must

go back in the ground I haven't had a

chance to put it D career

yet wait a second wait wait I'm back I'm

back it's me it's me I'm back oh I'm

back in my own lovely sexy

clothes no more geek nerdy reg just

filin I'm dead and belong in a coffin

loser coffee making

suits I'm sorry Larry I mean that in a

good sense everything's a days oh really

hm I kind of remember everything huh

dress

Hammer I guess I should be getting home

oh yeah uh Larry I don't know that you

want to um you know run home so quickly

I have to Chris I've got a lot of work

to do on tomorrow's budget meeting yeah

yeah uh you might want to uh keep kind

of a low profile at the office too dress

Hammer why do you keep saying that I

don't

know see you tomorrow Chris yeah sure

see you

tomorrow

ah well this was kind of a spiffy

Adventure wasn't it I think I've learned

sort of a valuable lesson here that we

must respect the rights of those who

have died and gone before us

[Music]

H oh

yeah

[Music]

oh

great what the hell I've always been a

little

curious now I've got an extra 24

hours morning honey what do you say we

fool

around

M you're very frisky so early in the

morning oh my God I'm

Sharon a hero for all ages is

coming tomorrow night Fox night of the

movies presents the world premiere of

the international epic Robin Hood now

stay tuned for Married with Children

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