01x13 - Birds Of A Feather Fool Around Together

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

[SIRENS WAILING]

Greetings, Bat-fans.
This is Batman.

And Robin, the Boy Wonder.

And me too, Bat-Mite.

Welcoming you to The
New Adventures of Batman.

Watch us wage our
never-ending battle

of good versus evil.

ROBIN: Ride with
us, as we chase

the greatest array of villains

the world has ever seen,

proving that crime
does not pay.

BATMAN: Get set for
thrills and action.

Join me, Batman.

And me, Robin, the Boy Wonder.

And Batgirl.

And me too: Bat-Mite.

ROBIN: In the super
New Adventures of--

BATMAN: Batman.

[SIREN WAILING]

[♪♪♪]

MAN: Shut up, already.

Gentlemen...

welcome to...YUC:

The Yearly Underworld
Convention.

And tonight we's gonna

elect our new YUC-y president.

Our first candidate

is the famous Penguin,

here on my left.

[LAUGHS]

If I am elected,
I promise to--

And on my right...

is our second candidate,

the Joker.

Uh, who ain't here yet.

[LAUGHS]

Boo.

Hiss.

Ha-ha! Sorry I'm late, fellas,

but I had to make
a little withdrawal

at the bank. [LAUGHS]

I take good care
of all my friends.

Remember that when
you're voting.

[APPLAUSE] [LAUGHS]

Gentlemen...

it looks like my
opponent, the Joker,

wants to play dirty pool,

so I'll have to play dirtier

if I want to be elected
YUC's next president.

And what could be dirtier

than turning Batman and Robin

to a life of crime?

[LAUGHS]

Penguin, if you can turn

Batman and Robin
into criminals,

I'll gladly let you win.

[LAUGHS]

It's a deal, Joker.

And something tells me

I'll get the last laugh.

[LAUGHS]

[♪♪♪]

[CAWS]

[PENGUIN LAUGHING]

We'll know soon enough, Gigi,

if my brilliant, but untested,

crime-slime

is going to work.

Gosh, you're smart, boss.

How right you are, my dear.

Now...release our two subjects.

[♪♪♪]

PENGUIN: Keep your
fingers crossed, Gigi.

Right, boss.

[GROWLS]

[LAUGHS]

It's working.

The crime-slime is working.

The mouse's personality

has been completely reversed.

He doesn't have a kind bone

in his mean little body.

[LAUGHS]

Now to test my crime-slime

on real people.

Right, boss.

The Penguin.

Let's get outta here.

Penguin, youse is
my kind of guy.

Yeah. Keep up the bad
work, Penguin, old pal.

Hey. You want some money?

[LAUGHS]

I thought you'd never ask.

Whee.

The crime-slime works.

Now what, boss?

[LAUGHS]

Now we go after the big game:

Batman and Robin.

[♪♪♪]

BRUCE: If I get this
spare it's all over, d*ck.

[MOCKINGLY] If I get a
spare, it's all over, d*ck.

[d*ck CLEARS THROAT]

Sorry.

It must have been
something I ate.

[COUGHS, CLEARS THROAT]

I've got a little
tickle in my throat.

d*ck, bowling is a
game of concentration.

And I can't concentrate
with all your noise!

Sorry. No more
coughs. I promise.

[BOTH SNEEZE]

BOTH: Bless you.

Now-- N-now don't
get excited, Bruce.

Yeah. Don't get
excited, Bruce.

[BEEPING] Uh-oh.
Looks like trouble.

Let's go.

Saved by the Bat-Signal.

The Penguin is back,

and he's got something
up his sleeve.

Watch this.

[LAUGHS]

I, the infamous Penguin,

perpetrator of
paramount crimes,

harlequin of whodunits,

and fly in the
ointment of justice,

is throwing in
the towel. I...

[LAUGHS]

...quit.

Going out of
business. Kaput.

I'm turning myself in.

COMMISSIONER: Wait.
It gets better.

But I will turn myself over

only to Batman and Robin.

No one else.

Ten o'clock tonight,
at Old Sutter's Mill.

Be there...

[LAUGHS]

...or be square.

Holy broken beaks.

He must be kidding if he thinks
we're gonna fall for that.

It's an obvious trap
all right, Robin...

but we have to take the bait

and see what the
Penguin's up to.

Want any of my men
in on this, Batman?

Not yet, commissioner.

The two of us had
better handle it alone.

You mean the three of
us, don't you, Batman?

No, Bat-Mite. In this
case, three's a crowd.

But-- Stay here, Bat-Mite.

Let's go, Boy Wonder.

Oh. Why do the big
guys have all the fun?

[♪♪♪]

There's Sutter's Mill
up ahead, Batman.

Help.

Robin, put the
searchlight on that tree.

Somebody help me.

Holy damsel in distress.

BATMAN: And there's
the Penguin.

Take care of the girl, Robin.

I'm going after the Penguin.

Right, Batman.

I'll use the ejector.

Help me. Please.

Sit tight, lady. I'm coming.

Time to put a stop
to this nonsense.

Okay, lady. We're
halfway home.

Oh. You're so strong.

I just hope I'm strong
enough to get you down.

Fun's over, Penguin.

A dummy.

The Penguin tricked me
with a remote-control car.

But why?

Robin.

You ready, lady?

Ready, Boy Wonder.

Where's Batman when
I need him most?

[CRASH]

Are you all right, Boy Wonder?

Oh. Except for a pounding
headache, an aching back

and some loose teeth,

I feel fine.

[LAUGHS]

And now you're mine.

Penguin. What?

You won't get away
with this, Penguin.

But...of course
I will, dear boy.

Batman is off on a
wild Penguin chase.

Gigi, if you would be so kind.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

Robin, this is Batman.
Can you hear me? Over.

Hi, Caped Crusader.

Not now, Bat-Mite. I
have enough problems.

Hey. Where's the Boy Wonder?

That's one of the problems.

I'm afraid the Penguin's
probably got him.

[PENGUIN LAUGHS]

Don't look so
lonely, Wonder Boy,

you'll have company soon.

Yeah, when Batman follows

the signals from
your wrist radio,

he's gonna fall
right into our trap.

[GIGGLES]

You sure are smart, Boss.

How true, my dear. How true.

With my brains and your brawn,

even the great Dynamic Duo

will soon be putty in our hands.

[LAUGHS]

[♪♪♪]

PENGUIN: Gigi, I think
our prey is on its way.

Here comes the Batmobile.

Is the crime-slime ready?

Ready, boss.

One shot of this stuff,

and Batman and Robin'll be...

Badman and Robber.

[LAUGHS]

Ah. I can see the
screaming headlines now:

"Dynamic Duo Turn Rotten.

Caped Crusaders on
Most Wanted List."

[LAUGHS]

Oh, I love it. I love it.

[♪♪♪]

That's the Penguin's
hideout up ahead.

I'm gonna try to catch
the Penguin by surprise,

Bat-Mite, but I
need your help.

You do? I mean, uh, sure,
sure. Name it, Batman.

Drive the Batmobile
up to the house,

then turn off the
lights and sit tight.

I'll take care of the
rest. You got it, Batman.

Good. Now stand by.
I'm going to eject.

[♪♪♪]

Oh, boy. I should've asked
Batman how to stop this thing.

[LAUGHS]

Perfect.

The Batmobile's driving
straight to our front door.

Just as I knew it would.

And in a moment,

Batman himself will be...

dropping in.

[LAUGHS] [GIGGLES]

[♪♪♪]

Hey. What is this?

It's called a raid.

And you're under arrest.

Whoa, car, whoa.

M-m-maybe this'll stop it.

Oh, oh. Oh, boy. I
made a Bat-boo-boo.

Let's go, Penguin.

Your bad-guy days are over.

Bat-Mite, I thought I told you

to stay with the Batmobile.

Oh, I did. Until the Batmobile
gave me the Bat-boot.

[PENGUIN LAUGHS]

PENGUIN: You're a
little fool, Bat-Mite,

just like your caped friends.

It's finally happened, Robin.

I've gone batty.
No you haven't.

Somehow that crime-slime has
switched their personalities.

Crime-slime?

The stuff that came out of
Penguin's umbrella just now.

It was supposed to
turn us into criminals.

But instead it turned Bat-Mite
and Penguin into each other.

[PENGUIN LAUGHS]

I am not the diabolical dude

of dastardly deeds for nothing.

You know I always have
a trick up my sleeve.

[♪♪♪]

[LAUGHS]

Hand me the crime-slime, Gigi.

What? Oh. Sure.

Now that we have the
Dynamic Duo in custody,

we shall proceed with my plan

to convert them into a
couple of baddy two-shoes.

Right, boss.

[GIGGLES]

[♪♪♪]

[LAUGHS]

All right, Batman and Robin.

Say goodbye to
your goody-goody,

Mr. Nice Guy images,

because two puffs
of my crime-slime,

and you will be even
nastier than me.

[LAUGHS]

No one could be nastier
than you, Penguin.

That's what you
think. Hit it, Gigi.

Holy caged birds.

BAT-MITE: Hey, uh, listen,
fellas, I'd like to stick around

but there's something
I gotta take care of.

Huh. My health.

He's Bat-Mite, all right.

[PENGUIN LAUGHS]

Keep your fingers
crossed, Gigi.

My future as a vile villain

is now in the hands
of the crime-slime.

Now to see if they pass

the bad-taste test.

[PENGUIN LAUGHS]

You feel any
different, fellows?

I thought we were
buddies, Penguin.

What're you keeping us
down in this dump for?

Yeah. We got places to
go and crimes to commit.

[LAUGHS]

Well, now.

You sound like a man

after my own heart, Robin.

He's really after
your wallet, Penguin,

so hang on to it.

Oh, this is perfect. Perfect.

With my brains and their brawn,

we'll turn this
town on its ear.

[GIGGLES]

Batman, I need a favor.

Name it, old buddy.

Yeah. But make sure
it's against the law.

After all, we might as well
have some fun doing it.

[LAUGHS]

I love your attitude.

Now...here's what
I want you to do...

[♪♪♪]

[LAUGHS]

You're doing just fine, boys.

Hang a left at the next corner.

Roger, boss.

One left coming up.

There it is, Robin.

The Midas Meteorite.

A ten-ton chunk of solid gold

from outer space, worth more

than a billion dollars.

And it's ours for
the taking. Heh-heh.

[PENGUIN LAUGHS] All
right, my caped crooks,

enough chatter.

Let's get on with
the job, shall we?

Relax, Penguin.

Ripping off this meteorite's
going to be a piece of cake.

[♪♪♪]

Bat-gyros away.

I don't believe it.

Batman and Robin are
stealing the Midas Meteorite.

[♪♪♪]

[TIRES SCREECH]

Batman and Robin.

ROBIN: Compliments
of the Penguin.

[PENGUIN LAUGHING]

PENGUIN: What's
the matter, Joker?

Suddenly you're no
longer laughing.

Something's wrong.

You sound like the Penguin,

but you sure don't
look like him.

Yeah, but anybody that can
pull off a caper like this

sure has my vote for president.

Mine too. You know it.

He's a genius. Bright man.

What about us? Yeah.
Don't we get any credit?

[LAUGHS]

Credit for what,
my caped cohorts?

For our acting.

When you trapped us
in your basement,

we put these mini-masks on

to protect us from
the crime-slime.

We've been in
constant radio contact

with Commissioner Gordon,
and you're all under arrest.

Okay, commissioner,
come on in and get 'em.

[SIRENS WAILING]

[TIRES SCREECH]

Penguin, you birdbrain.

You've been tricked.

[PENGUIN LAUGHS]

Correction.

You've been tricked.

Bye-bye.

Holy fast escape. What
do we do now, Batman?

I figured this
might happen, Robin.

That's why I
summoned the Batboat

by remote control.

[LAUGHS]

Well, what do you
know. The Batboat.

Don't those pajama-clad clods

know who they
are dealing with?

Nobody can catch me now.

BAT-MITE: I can. Gotcha.

Egad.

PENGUIN: Do you realize what
you've done, you bumbling boob?

[♪♪♪]

We're out of control.

[SCREAMING]

Unless we can stop them,
somebody's going to get hurt.

How about the sonic
wave transmitter?

Good thinking, Robin.

[YELLING]

[LAUGHS]

Yuck. I'm all wet.

All of a sudden
I feel...strange.

[♪♪♪]

BAT-MITE: All right, Penguin.
I'm placing you under arrest.

[PENGUIN LAUGHS]

You'll have to catch
me first, Bat-Mite.

Holy ticklish
tackle, Batman. Look.

BATMAN: Hold on,
Bat-Mite. We're coming.

Let go of me,
you little twerp.

ROBIN: Attaboy, Bat-Mite.
Attaboy, hang in there, baby.

Yipes.

There they go.

But thanks to Bat-Mite,

now we're close
enough to stop them.

[SIRENS WAILING, TIRES SCREECH]

COMMISSIONER: Nice
work, Dynamic Duo.

That wraps this case up.

BATMAN: Thanks, Commissioner.
But we couldn't have done it

without Bat-Mite's help.

You tell 'em, Caped Crusaders.

Besides, I saved this
valuable piece of evidence.

Bat-Mite, be careful.

BATMAN: You know, Robin,

maybe we...could have
done it without his help.

[BOTH LAUGH]

COMPUTER VOICE: Bat-message.

With all those bad
dudes behind bars,

the meteorite back
at the planetarium,

we've had a busy
night, Boy Wonder.

I'm just worried that
the Penguin's crime-slime

may have changed Bat-Mite's
personality permanently.

Hi, Caped Crusaders.

I'm all ready for our
next crime-busting caper.

And I'm raring to go-go-go.

Still the same old Bat-Mite.

[♪♪♪]