01x08 - The Chameleon

[bunniefuu]

[SIREN WAILING]

[♪♪♪]

BATMAN: Greetings, Bat-fans.

This is Batman.

And Robin, the Boy Wonder.

And me too, Bat-Mite.

Welcoming you to The
New Adventures of Batman.

Watch us wage our
never-ending battle

of good versus evil.

ROBIN: Ride with us

as we chase the greatest
array of villains

the world has ever seen,

proving that crime
does not pay.

BATMAN: Get set for
thrills and action.

Join me, Batman.

And me, Robin, the Boy Wonder.

And Batgirl.

And me too, Bat-Mite.

ROBIN: In the super
New Adventures of--

BATMAN: Batman.

[♪♪♪]

[SIREN WAILING]

[♪♪♪]

Gentlemen...I've
called you here tonight

because you are the top
criminal minds in Gotham City.

Yet you still tiptoe around
in Batman and Robin's shadow.

Why, you big giraffe.
I ought to...

You ought to listen...

because only I can
solve your problem.

For a price, I will personally
catch Batman and Robin.

You couldn't
catch your breath.

Oh, no?

Care to change your mind, Lucky?

Hey. Get this off of me.

Temper, temper, temper.

I don't know how
you did that, punk,

but now you're
gonna pay for it.

Oof!

Help!

Okay. I give up.

Now, how'd you do it?

That is unimportant.

The fact is that
Batman and Robin

will be no tougher to
catch than you were.

Very impressive.

What's your name, friend?

They call me...

The Chameleon.

Well, whatever your
price is, Chameleon,

you've got a deal.

Excellent.

Excellent!

[♪♪♪]

LUCKY: So, what's
your plan, Chameleon?

First, take a look at this.

And now, to dedicate the new
Gotham City solar power plant,

here is Police Commissioner
Gordon and his daughter,

Assistant District
Attorney Barbara Gordon.

Thank you.

When I press this button,

all of Gotham City's
electrical power

will be supplied by
this giant mirror

that collects not only
the energy of the sun,

but that of the moon as well.

It is a great step forward.

Gentlemen...whoever shuts
down that power plant

will turn off every
burglar alarm in town.

And with Batman and
Robin as my prisoners,

Gotham City will be
one big treasure chest,

waiting for you to empty it.

Then what are we waiting for?

Let's get started.

[♪♪♪]

d*ck: Can you
believe it, Bruce?

We finally have a night off.

Mm-hm. And I'm enjoying

every peaceful
minute of it, d*ck.

How do you like your burger?

Rare, medium--?

Surprise!

Or well-done.

Bat-Mite. That was our supper.

No problem,
Dickie-boy. No problem.

But first of all,

if you're gonna eat,
you need more heat.

Bat-Mite, turn it off.

Okay, okay.

Just as soon as I remember how.

BRUCE: Never mind.

Well, that time I
goofed, but this time...

[WARBLY, HIGH-PITCHED
TONE RINGING]

Holy headache!

Now what?

It wasn't me. It wasn't me.

BRUCE: To the Batcave, d*ck.

Sorry, Bat-Mite, but you have
important work to do here.

BAT-MITE: Aw!

Bat-baloney.

This is embarrassing.

I'm supposed to be fighting
crime, not mopping slime.

But I'll show
Batman and Robin.

I'll use the old noodle.
And a little Mite-magic.

Mop, do your stuff.

Ah. That's more like it.

Ee-yipes!

Down, boy! Down! Down! Heel!

Heel!

You're under my control...

Ooh!

Now I got you.

Whoa-- Whoa, whoa, whoa.

That takes care of that.

And I didn't even
get my hands dirty.

[CRASH]

Still didn't get my hands dirty.

[♪♪♪]

[WARBLY NOISE CONTINUING]

Batman, our
audiometer indicates

the noise source
is dead ahead.

I think you're dead
right, Robin. Look.

[TIRES SCREECH]

Odd. It seems to be coming
from atop this building.

But the doors are locked.

Then we'll just have to
take a shortcut, Boy Wonder.

I'll cover this side.

[CHUCKLES]

They've fallen for it.

Those Dynamic Dips are walking
right into the Chameleon's trap.

[WARBLY NOISE STOPS]

Holy handcuffs!

Is this some kind of joke?

Yes. And the joke's

on you, you teenage twerp.

[CHUCKLES]

[SNICKERS]

That's one down and one to go.

Going up.

Batman, it's a trap.

Get away while you still can!

Don't waste your
energy, Batman.

You're all mine now.

Chameleon, you fool,
he's getting away.

Mind if I join you?

Far out!

But pardon me if I
don't shake hands.

Don't worry.

My laser torch will fix that.

Thanks, Batman.

I needed that.

Ah, togetherness.

This is going to be even
easier than I expected.

Well, whoever...
or whatever he was,

he's gone.

He certainly disappeared fast.

Ha-ha! Here I am,
Caped Captives.

Just call me The Chameleon.

Holy stretch marks, Batman.

This guy's unreal.

[ENGINE STARTS]

He's real all right,

and we're in real trouble.

Boy, am I glad
that noise is...

Oh, yipes!

Here's just the thing for a
slippery character like you:

grease.

[TIRES SCREECHING]

Robin...now.

Yahoo! Yippee!

We got him! We got him!

Nice work, Bat-Mite.

ROBIN: Yeah. Put
her there, partner.

Holy slush.

Oops.

Batman calling Commissioner
Gordon. Come in.

Chameleon blew it.

Batman and Robin just
gift-wrapped him for the cops.

Wait, Lucky. Take
another look.

I don't believe it.

ROBIN: Holy split
personalities, Batman.

He's not human.

I'm not sure what
he is, Robin...

but I am sure he'll be back.

Why's that?

Because he didn't get
what he was after:

us.

All right, give us our
money back, Chameleon.

We paid you for
results, not mistakes.

Relax, gentlemen. Relax.

I've decided there's no
need to capture Batman.

What? Listen, you...

I have a better idea for making
Batman look like the fool he is.

I'll fix it so that

he shuts down the
power plant himself,

leaving the city
wide open to us.

I like it.

I like it a lot.

[CHUCKLES]

Fellas, we're gonna be rich.

And the Dynamic Duo
will be all through.

[♪♪♪]

Dad...here's that
file you wanted on...

[WARBLY, HIGH-PITCHED
TONE RINGING]

It's coming from that plane.

BATMAN: Yes, commissioner?
Batman, that noise,

it's back again.

Then so is our
friend The Chameleon.

We're on our way.

There's the plane, Batman.

It sure is weird-looking.

Hang on, Robin.

He's not here.

But there's no way
that little airplane

could have outrun us.
CHAMELEON: Yoo-hoo...

Dynamic Dummies.

Over here.

No wonder that
plane looked weird.

It's going to look a lot
weirder parked behind bars.

Incredible.

Absolutely incredible.

I'll say it is.

Lucky, Batman and Robin
are following the bait

just like the Chameleon said.

Yeah. Now let's find
the richest spot in town

and wait...

for the lights to go out.

Uh, excuse me, Dad,

there's something
I have to do.

But I'll do it as Batgirl.

[♪♪♪]

Batman, he's headed straight
for the new power plant.

Prepare the grappling
hooks, Robin.

We're almost within range.

ROBIN: Roger.

CHAMELEON: Save your
hooks, you schnooks.

You'll never catch me.

[SNICKERS]

BAT-MITE: Yoo-hoo!
Caped Crusaders!

Where are you?

Huh! They must've
taken a Bat-break.

Guess I'll have to...

keep an eye on this.

But I'd rather be out catching
that creepy Chameleon character.

I guess I'll have to
show him a thing or two,

or three, or four, or five.

I think I made a
big Bat-boo-boo.

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

One of these buttons
has to be the brakes,

so I'll just press them all.

h*, boy. It's too
dangerous around here.

I'm gonna go find the
Dynamic Duo and fight crime,

where it's safe.

[♪♪♪]

Aw, Bat-baloney.

I was sure I'd find
the Dynamic Duo here.

Now, where could
they have run off to?

Wow! Batgirl!

Wait, my favoritest crime
fighter of them all.

Here I come, you
gorgeous gangbuster.

Oh, I-I knew th-there
was s-something

I-I-I forgot.

A w-w-w-- A warranty.

[LUCKY CHUCKLES]

LUCKY: There it is.

The place where they make money.

And soon it'll be all ours.

[LAUGHS]

Right on.

ROBIN: Holy kamikaze, Batman.

He's diving at
the power plant.

We have to stop him.

Robin, I can't see!

The glare from that mirror
is right in my eyes.

CHAMELEON: Too bad,
Caped Clumsies.

But when that mirror goes,

so does all the electrical
power in Gotham City.

And it'll be your fault.

[SNICKERS]

Batman, we're gonna crash!

Okay, the power's out.

Let's go.

Batgirl? Batgirl?

Ah-ha! She's
playing hard-to-get.

Here I come, Batgirl.

Ready or not.

Batman, Robin, are you there?

Come in, Batman.

Lieutenant...I'm...

I'm afraid they've crashed.

BATMAN [OVER RADIO]:
Relax, commissioner.

Batman...what happened?

For some reason, the
Chameleon wanted us to destroy

the power plant's
collecting mirror.

And we nearly did.

But at the last moment...

we fired a smoke screen
that cut off the glare,

and we were able to regain
control just in time.

Unfortunately, the
Chameleon got away.

Well, thank heavens
you're okay.

I thought you'd crashed.

The Chameleon thinks so too.

But when this
smoke screen clears

and the power goes on again,

I'm sure he'll be back.

And we'll be waiting.

Chameleon, you're
just in time.

We hit the blinking
jackpot here.

Calm down, Lucky, my boy.

[LAUGHS]

We have all night.

Batgirl to commissioner.

Do you read?

Go ahead, Batgirl.

I have a robbery in progress.

Request backup assistance and--

Batgirl.

Never fear, your
true love is here.

Yipes! [LOUD CRASH]

Batgirl.

Grab her.

I goofed, huh?

You goofed.

That's it, Robin.

The smoke screen's moving off.

ROBIN: And the
power's coming in.

[ALARM RINGS]

Hey, the power's on.

And so are the burglar alarms.

Hey, we're sitting ducks.

What is this, Chameleon,
a double-cross?

N-n-n-no. Of course not.

Then shut that
power off, and fast.

CHAMELEON: I aim to.

Batgirl! Batgirl!

They're getting
away with the goods.

No, they're not.

I borrowed part of their car.

[CHUCKLES]

This is it, Batman.

You've made a fool of
me for the last time.

GORDON: Give it up, Chameleon.

You're surrounded.

It's all over, Chameleon.

I figured out your secret.

There's only one way you could
do all the things you do.

You're a robot.

[SNICKERS]

So what?

They can't stop me,

and neither can you.

Robin, now.

No! Stop! Let me go!

I'll get you for this.

Just wait.

I'll get you.

Now look what you've done.

Holy Humpty Dumpty!

I don't believe it.

You've destroyed
The Chameleon.

My masterpiece is ruined.

And so is your career as
a criminal, Dr. Devious.

You know him, Batman?

Yes, commissioner.

I sent him to
jail 10 years ago

for inventing an
automatic lock picker.

He swore then that
he'd get even with me.

And I will, Batman.

Just give me time.

Don't worry, Dr. Devious.

We're going to give
you plenty of time.

You'll be happy to know
Lucky Lucre and his g*ng

are in custody now.

Great!

I'd say this case
is all wrapped up.

Uh-uh. You forgot
one thing, Batgirl.

And what's that?

A big kiss for
your rescuer: me.

Sure thing, Bat-Mite.

Mwah.

I'm in love.

BATCOMPUTER: Bat Message.

That Dr. Devious sure
had a lot of talent,

to create such a robot.

BATMAN: Yes, but it's too bad

he wasted his talent on crime.

Remember...we all have
talents and abilities.

And it's our responsibility
to decide how we use them,

for right or wrong.

Speaking of talent, here I am.

[BATMAN AND ROBIN LAUGH]

[♪♪♪]