01x03 - Trouble Identity

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

[SIRENS WAILING]

BATMAN: Greetings, Bat-fans.

This is Batman.

And Robin, the Boy Wonder.

And me too, Bat-Mite.

Welcoming you to The
New Adventures of Batman.

Watch us wage our
never-ending battle

of good versus evil.

ROBIN: Ride with
us as we chase

the greatest array of villains
the world has ever seen.

Proving that crime
does not pay.

BATMAN: Get set for
thrills and action.

Join me, Batman.

And me: Robin, the Boy Wonder.

And Batgirl.

And me too: Bat-Mite.

ROBIN: In the super
New Adventures of--

BATMAN: Batman.

[♪♪♪]

[SIREN WAILING]

[♪♪♪]

Bruce, are you sure you
know where you're going?

Relax, Barbara.
Just leave it to me

Why all the mystery?
Where are we going anyway?

There. There's the house.

BRUCE: Let's go.

BARBARA: For
heaven's sake, Bruce.

Can't you tell me what
this is all about?

I--

[CAT MEOWING]

What was that?

It wasn't a mouse.

[LAUGHS]

[CREAKS]

[DOOR OPENS]

Ah. Mr. Wayne...

[CAT MEOWS]

[WOMAN GIGGLING, MEOWING]

[♪♪♪]

Barbara, I'd like you

to meet Professor Norquist.

Prepare yourselves for
an amazing experience.

Before you lies

the greatest boon to ecology:

The Norquist Inert
Matter Converter.

Wow, professor,
how does it work?

Watch.

The trash, or
any inert matter,

is fed into the
disintegrator...

then it is fed
into the converter.

And...presto!

BARBARA: Why...it
looks like silk.

It is silk.

[LAUGHING]

The finest quality.

Or, if you prefer...

The finest woolen tweed.

A-mazing.

Watch.

It's fur.

Let me see that.

Professor, you've done it.

Do you realize what this means?

It will revolutionize

the entire garment industry.

And think of the good
it'll do for our ecology.

[ALL SHOUTING]

Ah. Here it is. The
emergency light.

Ah! Ah!

My converter.

It's gone.

[GASPS]

Quick, after her.

It was cut from
the other side.

[GIGGLING]

[MEOWING]

Now...Catwoman has time

for a quick change.

We'll have to batter
this door down.

ALL: Batgirl?

Yes. Batgirl is
through fighting crime.

This converter
shall make me rich.

Do you hear?

[LAUGHS]

Quick, the front door.

Stop her. Stop her!

Hey, Bruce. Look.

"Batgirl Steals Invention."

"Batgirl Offers Deal."

Agh. Pay blackmail to Batgirl.

Never!

But, Dad. It wasn't Batgirl.

But how could you say that?

You saw her with your own eyes.

Because Batgirl would
never do a thing like that.

Right, d*ck. No
question about it.

It had to be an imposter.

Well, it's all too
baffling to me.

There's only one
person in the world

who could figure out
a mess like this.

Batman.

[BEEPING]

Hello. Let me talk
to Batman, please.

Batman speaking.

Batman. You sound,
uh, strange.

Have you got a cold?

Oh, no. I-I'm just not
quite myself today.

[GIGGLES]

What can I do for you?

I wonder if that's
who we think it is.

Oh, no. Bat-Mite.

Batman, it's this
terrible Batgirl problem.

It seems she's gone batty

and stolen Professor
Norquist's invention.

Oh, don't give it
another thought.

I'm on my way.

Let's see.

Ah, there's the starter.

Commissioner, I, um, uh--

I-I just remembered an
important engagement.

Come on, d*ck.

Oh, Dad.

I have an important
case to clear up.

BATGIRL [THINKING]:
As Batgirl, of course.

[♪♪♪]

CATWOMAN: That's it,
my little kittens.

Get set for the miracle.

[BOTH GASP]

You're seeing right.

It's the latest Paris
design made from trash.

The clothing world is mine.

I'll be rich. Rich!

[LAUGHING, MEOWING]

Quick, d*ck. To the Batcave!

[♪♪♪]

[TIRES SCREECHING]

Permit me.

Holy Batnet, Batman.
That was a close one.

It's a good thing I
remembered my Batrocket Boots.

Quick thinking, chum.

Uh...I guess I...

did it again, huh, Batman?

Bat-Mite...

I know you're only
trying to help.

And the best way
you can help us--

Is to not do anything.

Now we've got to see who
was impersonating Batgirl.

Holy hoaxes, Batman!
You're right.

To the Batcomputers.

Okay. Here comes the readout.

Ah. The answer
to our question.

"To be is not to be.
That is the answer."

Of course.

I don't see, Batman.

Of course you
see. Think, Robin.

What would happen if you
took the B out of Batgirl.

"C" what I mean?

See? See.

Of course.

The letter C.

Cat. Catwoman.

Catwoman. She was
impersonating Batgirl

to throw us off the trail.

Quick. To the Batmobile.

[BEEPING]

Batman here.

[GIGGLING, MEOWING]

Catwoman.

I know. You've
figured out by now

that I'm behind this.

You're right, you
felonious feline.

And it's just a matter of time
before the Boy Wonder and I

catch up with you.

You'd better hurry.
Even as we speak,

Batgirl is about to
fall into a Cat-trap.

[GIGGLING, MEOWING]

Catwoman.

If you do any harm to
Batgirl, you'll pay for it.

I won't have to do anything.

[LAUGHING, MEOWING]

I used a mysterious phone
call to lure her into a trap.

The police will take
care of her for me.

[GIGGLING, MEOWING]

Activate the Batoscope.

[BEEPING]

There. That's
Batgirl's signal now.

What part of the city is that?

According to this readout,
it's coordinate 3507 W.

If my memory serves me right,

that's an abandoned
warehouse on the waterfront.

Quick, Robin, To
the Batcopter.

[♪♪♪]

We should be nearing
it now, Robin.

Hello...

Commissioner Gordon?

Yes. What is it?

If you want to catch
Batgirl with the goods...

Send a few of
your Keystone Kops

to Schrum's
abandoned warehouse.

Wait a minute. Who is this?

Now, to use my
Cat-netic force field

to capture the Batcopter.

There's Schrum's
abandoned warehouse.

Holy magnetic
missiles, Batman. Look.

Hang on, Robin.

[SIRENS WAILING]

Faster, officer.
Every second counts.

I've gotta be careful.

That mysterious call I got

could be the sort of
thing Catwoman might try.

If I don't clear my name,

the police will be after me.

Ah!

[GIGGLING, MEOWING]

No use, Batgirl.

You can't avoid capture.

My, heh,

what big electric
eyes you have.

You missed me by a whisker.

A cat's whisker, that is.

Holy high altitude, Batman.

It's still on our tail.

Activate the Multiple
Image Deflection Ray.

Right.

Oh. Try to outsmart
Catwoman, will you?

Hang five.

That must be the real one.

Agh!

They're all images.

My Cat-m*ssile is
running out of of fuel.

I'll get him this time.

Agh!

Wow. That was close, Batman.

Almost too close.

Right, Robin. But
now to the warehouse.

I only hope we're not
too late to help Batgirl.

[CLANGING]

[CRASH]

Drop in again sometime.

[SIGHS] Well, back to work.

[♪♪♪]

Incredible.

This looks exactly like
the same sort of thing

the professor made
with his machine.

CATWOMAN [OVER
SPEAKER]: Yes, Batgirl.

Catwoman.

So you're the one who
stole the converter.

Yes, Batgirl.

And you have fallen
into my trap.

[GIGGLING, MEOWING]

Even now, the police
are coming to catch you

with all the evidence.

You will go to jail,
and I will get rich.

[GIGGLING, MEOWING]

So, Batgirl.

I see you've been busy with
the professor's invention.

But I'm innocent.

But--

But it's not what
it appears to be.

Come quietly, Batgirl.

Not just yet.

Stop! Stop her!

I've got to clear myself.

Halt.

[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]

OFFICER: There she is.

Don't worry, Batgirl.
I'll catch you.

Bat-Mite.

Oh, no. Not now.

G-g-gee. Y-you're pretty.

Bat-Mite, I could just--

But-- But all I
wanted to do was--

Was help.

Oh-oh-oh-ooh!

Don't make waves...

[BAT-MITE YELLING]

Batman!

Batman. How did you
know about this?

Batman always knows.

Robin, lower the Batswing.

Whoa, oh-oh-oh-oh.

Commissioner.

I'm taking Batgirl to
police headquarters.

Good work, Batman.

But I've got to
clear myself, Batman.

I can't go to
police headquarters.

You've got to, Batgirl.

Even though you've been
wronged by Catwoman,

you must abide by the law.

Of course, uh...

we'll make a little
detour on the way.

You mean, to-- Right.

To Catwoman's hideout.

BATMAN: Now, what would
Catwoman's next move be?

BATGIRL: Well...

she'll probably try to
sell as many of her furs

and garments as
quickly as she can.

That means she needs someplace
big enough to display it all.

Hey, Batman. Look.

BATGIRL: "Mammoth fur
and fashion sale..."

"Fantastic bargains at
the convention center."

But the fashion show
isn't due till next month.

Unless...

Uh-oh. You mean, unless
Catwoman is behind this.

Right. Hang on.

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

MAN: Hey. Come on, don't
push, will you, pal?

[GIGGLING, MEOWING]

And this is just
the beginning.

[LAUGHS]

Speed up the machines.

[MEOWS]

There she is.

Quick. Activate the rocket.

Holy rockets, Bat-Mite.

Look at that.

The rudder.

BATMAN [GRUNTING]: I read you.

[MEOWS]

And now...

let's steer a course
for police headquarters.

Something's wrong
with this wheel.

I can't control it.

Execute your
Batchute, Batgirl.

Roger.

I wonder what's
keeping Batman.

[PHONE RINGS]

Commissioner, look.

[♪♪♪]

So, commissioner,
there's you real crook.

GORDON: Catwoman.

Ha! So she tried to frame you

for stealing the
invention, eh, Batgirl?

That's right, commissioner.

And as you see, she
has it right with her.

Or what's left of it.

That machine has been
nothing but trouble.

I'm glad it's destroyed.

No, professor.

It wasn't the machine
that did wrong.

It was Catwoman.

Well, I guess we owe
you an apology, Batgirl.

But it looked so bad for you.

Not nearly as bad as it's
going to be for Catwoman.

She's not the first
to try to get rich

by stealing someone
else's accomplishments.

Well, she'll have plenty of
time to think things over.

In that case, I'll
never get into trouble.

I never think anything over.

[ALL LAUGHING]

BATCOMPUTER: Bat Message.

Wow, Batman.

That was really a caper.

If Catwoman hadn't let her
greed run away with her,

she would have given
us an even harder time.

Sooner or later, they
make the big mistake.

Okay. So I made the
big mistake this time.

But it's going to be a
whole new bag from now on.

Really?

You'll see. [GIGGLES]

You just wait
until you see how

I'll help you two
out next week.

[♪♪♪]