01x07 - The Olympics of Space

[bunniefuu]

It was the world's strangest accident

while testing a new rocket ship. Our

heroes were bombarded by mysterious

cosmic rays from outer space.

Though they crash landed safely, the

strange and powerful rays had changed

each one of them. Transforming their

leader Reed Richards into the plastic

skinned Mr. Fantastic,

Sue Richards into the Now You See Her,

Now You Don't Invisible Girl,

and Ben Grimm into a mighty muscled

powerhouse called The Thing.

Now, together with Herbie the Robot, the

newest member of the group, they have

become the greatest team of superheroes

the world has ever known.

The huge Fantastic Four.

More than 30 stories above the teeming

streets of New York City towers the

world-famous Baxter Building. And from

its top five floors, whenever danger

threatens, the fabulous superheroes known

as the Fantastic Four emerge to do battle

for mankind. Tonight, however, no threats

to Earth are in sight. And so the

Fantastic Four are passing the time in a

different way. In the kitchen area of

their skyscraper headquarters. How is it

coming, Reed, darling?Well, I think I

just about got it figured out, honey.

Hey, Susie! You got any hot cocoa around?

I was just... Susie?Hey,

Stretcho, where's your beautiful better

half?Oh, she's around, Ben.

Well, I don't see her. If you could, Ben,

I wouldn't be much of an invisible girl,

would I?Susie, you were here all

the time, huhYou know, you shouldn't go

popping up all of a sudden like that.

You're liable to stun a fella's growth.

Sorry, Ben. Hey, what's that complicated

gizmo you're monkeying around with?Sure

looks like some kind of super weapon to

me. Well, not exactly, Ben. Just

watch closely, and I'll show you what

this ominous-looking machine does. Now, I

simply press this button here, and...

presto! HuhToast?

Wow!

Butter, even!

A toaster! That whole big

thing is nothing but a fancy pop-up

toaster!I thought it would be a big help

to Sue. After all, why should she do all

the housework when all four of us live

here?I couldn't have put

it any better myself. Thank you, Reed,

dear. Anytime, honey. Yeah, I

guess you're right about us helping Susie

out more. I think I'll go see what that

bucket of bolts Herbin is up to.

Everything is so quiet tonight. I might

as well check out the view screens that

monitor the various approaches to our

headquarters. Everything is quiet on the

roof above, and by our special private

elevator. Hiya, Herbie. Anything

creepy going on around here?Not until you

arrive, Benjamin. Oh, now I ain't

in the mood to trade wisecracks with you

tonight, metal mug. Uh,

there's the good old fantastic car on the

roof monitor. I wonder...

Yeah, that's what I'll do.

See you later, Herbie. Well, I'll just

take me a little spin over the city and

see what's shaking. Nobody'll even miss

me.

Uh, sure is peaceful up here.

Uh, gee, the stars sure look pretty.

There must be a million of them. That's

funny that one star is brighter than any

of the others. HuhIt ain't

possible. That star's moving, getting

bigger. What?Well, it ain't a star at

all. It's some kind of rocket ship shaped

like a flying triangle. That's the

biggest spaceship I ever saw. And it's

heading straight for me. I got it. Hey,

it's got me caught. Some sort of tractor

beam pulling me right up toward it.

What a revolting development this is.

Unknown to the powerful thing, however,

his capture does not go unnoticed, for

directly below him, inside the Baxter

Building... Great galloping project!

Three, two! Some sort of gigantic

spaceship is hovering overhead, and it's

pulling bins and the fantastic car into

it. Good heavens! Lead the way,

Herbie. We're right behind you.

It's enormous! Unlike anything I've ever

seen! What can it be?It's

incredible! It's moving away straight

up at tremendous speed! Look,

Reed! It's already vanished into the sky!

We'll track down that alien rocketship

and Ben wherever they've gone. Even

if it's a galaxy away. And even as Reed

Richards speaks, a strange spaceship

heads for the moon. with Ben Grimm as its

prisoner, then suddenly shifts directions

to go around it, quickly vanishing from

the side of even the strongest telescopes

on the dark side of the moon. And on

board... Ohh Oh, my aching

noggin. What happened?

Oh, yeah, now I remember. That big

rocket grabbed me in the fantastic car

with a tractor beam. It must have knocked

me out. Looks like I'm in some kind of

cell, like a rat in a trap.

Well, I ain't gonna be here for long, I

can tell you. Like my dear old Aunt

Petunia used to say, It's

clobbering time. How

mortified. That door's made out of

something a whole lot harder than steel.

I just about busted my tender little nit.

Well, at least there's a porthole so I

can find out where I am. Well, we're way

out in space!There is no reason for

you to be so astonished, Benjamin J.

Grimm. You have been in outer space many

times before. HuhWho

in blazes are you?I am Sandro,

commander of this starship. My men and I

are Centaurians, inhabitants of a planet

which circles the star Alpha Centauri,

which is the star nearest Earth's own

sun. A mere 25 trillion

miles away, we have brought you here for

a reason. Allow me to explain.

You mean I got a choice?Not really.

You see, we Centaurians are a very old

civilization, far older than any

on your own Earth. For long

centuries, we have been at w*r with the

Polarians, who live on a planet of the

star you call Polaris, or the

North Star, even though no man or

woman of either side has ever seen a

member of the other. to be

quite ugly. Both sides are really

of a long w*r, which neither side can

ever win. But though each side wants

an end to the w*r, neither side

trusts the other. Recently, we

came to an agreement. Each side is

to find a champion, someone to

represent and fight for his side

against the champion chosen by the other

side, in what you of

Earth might callAn Olympics of

space, the side whose champion

loses the majority of contests,

will be confined in the future to its own

star system, while to the victor will

go the rest of the galaxy.

Terrific. And may the best man win,

I guess. But now, what's all this got to

do with your pluckin' me up like a daisy?

You have been chosen to be our champion

in the Olympics of space. Huh

I mean, how can I be a champion when I

ain't even a centurion?Under the rules

agreed upon, each side can choose any

champion it wishes. You need

not be a centurion to fight for our

planet's supremacy. I won't

do it. Oh, I think you will.

For if you refuse, we shall blow up

your paltry planet from space,

reducing it to a mere lifeless speck of

cosmic dust. Well,

now will you be our champion,

Earthling?Uh.. Well,

yeah, yeah, yeahOh, okay. I guess you

got me, Sandro. I'll be

your champion. Meanwhile,

back on Earth, 240,000 miles

away. We've got to locate Ben.

Are you receiving any signal yet, Herbie?

Yes. I've just locked in on a homing

signal, but it's very safe. Well,

any luck, little Glenn?Yes. Here comes

the data printout now. Where's that

flying triangle headed?It's already

there, on the dark side of the moon.

Great Scott. Well, now that we

know that, it's just a matter of getting

there. Look, here's our answer in

tonight's newspaper. Sue, you're a

wonder. Herbie, we're in luck.

The government has scheduled a moonshot

for tonight, an unmanned rocket. Quick!

Everybody, into our private jet.

Moments later, launched from within the

Baxter Building itself, the Fantastic

Four's personal jet plane is pearls

skyward. Its destination is

Cape Kennedy, Florida.

Sometime later, just outside Cape Kennedy,

Reed, don't you think the government

would let us board the moon rocket if you

explained to them... Well, they might,

Sue, but there's no time. The paper said

the launch is scheduled for only a few

minutes from now. We've got to take

drastic measures. The rocket's all set to

go. And the gate is heavily guarded. Come

on, you two. We're not going through the

gate. We're going over it.

Here we go!

We made it! Just barely in

time, too.

They're off to the moon!

Meanwhile, on the dark side of the moon,

the Centurion spacecraft reaches down for

a landing.

Well, I'll say this, Sandro. This place

makes Yankee Stadium look like a Monopoly

set. I shall take that as a compliment,

Earthling. Okay, we're here. So

let's get this show on the roads. A

moment, if you will. First, I must lock

the only entrance to our flying triangle

so that the Polarians, when they arrive,

will not be able to steal it, leaving us

stranded here. Oh, wow, you

Centurions don't trust nobody, do you?

Hey, I just realized something. How come

I can breathe here on the moon without a

space helmet?We Centurions and the

Polarians breathe the same air you of

Earth do, so we constructed this airtight

dome for our contest. Now come.

But remember, if you fail to

win or try to escape-- Yeah,

yeah, I know, the Earth goes boom.

Have arrived at last. Well, you'll

finally get to see what your enemy looks

like, huhYes, but we are not looking

forward to it. As I said, the Polarians

are reputed to be unspeakably ugly. Oh,

yeah?Look again, Sandro.

Here they come. And as far as I can tell,

they look exactly like you Centurions.

What?Are you space-blind earthling that

you cannot see how truly hideous they

are?What do you mean?It is obvious, you

fool. Their eyes are blue while our

eyes are green, as all proper eyes should

be. So, we meet at last

in person, Sandro. I am

Paulus, commander of the Polarian

forces, mightiest in all the

galaxy. Ha! Is

that your supposed champion, that

walking hunk of rock?

Behold our champion.

Monstro, come forth!

I am here, Commander Paulus. Well,

Paulus, shall we begin?In a

moment, Sandro. First, because I cannot

trust you centaurians to keep your word

and not tamper with our spaceship, I

must electronically secure the only door.

There. Now we may begin, as

soon as our champions are ready. Well,

looks like we're gonna be on opposite

sides, Monstro, but that's no reason

we can't be friends. There is a very

good reason, little one. I

am from the planet in the constellation

Orion. The Polarians captured

me and forced me to be their

champion. Same thing happened to me.

Listen, listen now, if we team up,

We can lick this whole bunch of

battle-happy bozos. No.

If I fail, the Polarians have vowed to

destroy my planet. Now hear this.

The Olympics of space for supremacy of

this galaxy will commence at once with

the first of three events. The first

champion to win two events will be

declared the winner. The first event will

be a long-distance broad jump. You

may go first, if you wish.

Yeah, thanks for nothing, pal.

That'd be a world's leopard, back on

Earth! Out of my way, little one!

And the winner, by one-quarter of one

Earthian inch, is Munsro.

I'm off to a great start. We have

achieved lunar orbit, Reed. Within

minutes, we will reach the moon's dark

side. Oh, I hope my dear friend Benjamin

is all right. Well, we'll soon find out.

But if he's been harmed, the most

numinous won't be room enough to hide

from the vengeance of the Fantastic Four.

The score stands one to nothing in favor

of Monstro, champion of the Polarians.

Now let the second event begin, the

weightlifting competition.

There! There I can

barely lift it, but I did!

Now, Earthling, if you think you can

lift more than I can... Huh

I already did, Monstro! Then I

must admit defeat in this second

contest, Earthling. No, it was

a trick. But we will win the third and

final event. Then we will be supreme in

space, and the galaxy will be ours.

Meanwhile, not far away, the other three

members of the Fantastic Four prepare for

action inside their lunar module. Is your

space helmet adjusted?I'm all ready. All

right, so drop down onto the moon's

surface. The dome is made of

some material harder than steel. How can

we possibly get in?It's simple,My

computer shows that the dome does not

extend beneath the moon's surface. Thus,

this special drill should get us in. Good

work, Kirby. We're right behind you. I've

analyzed the artificial atmosphere inside

the dome, and it is sufficient for

breathing. Breathe. Kirby, look!

The whole inside of the dome is some vast

athletic stadium. Let's get closer

and find out what's going on. Well, we'll

all be over soon, Centaurians. Soon our

champion Monstro will win the third and

final event of the Space Olympics, and

victory shall be ours. Don't be too

sure, Polarion. Our champion

was one of the strongest superheroes on

the planet Earth. And don't forget,

the two champions are tied. I

can't believe it, Reed. They're saying

that Ben is a contestant in some sort of

Olympics for space. Yeah, so it seems to.

And from the look of things, I'd bet

those two over there must be the captains

of the two opposing sides. There's Ben.

Thank heaven he's safe. If only we could

let him know we're here. That's my

department, Reed. And go to it, honey,

and good luck. I have a hunch there's

more at stake here than just a sporting

event. Get out, monstro!I'm going to kind

of hate to clobber you in this final

event. I mean, I wish there was some way

we could team up and total all them

creepos gawking at us up there in the

stands. As do I,

Earthling. But if we did, they would

still have time to contact their space

fleets and destroy both of our planets.

Ben, it's me, Sue. Susie.

I might have known you and the g*ng had

come through. Where is that female

voice coming from?I see no

one. Oh, of course not. That's the

invisible girl, one of my buddies.

Quickly, if you'll both tell me

everything you can about the aliens who

brought you here, perhaps I can help.

Okay, here's the scoop, lady. You two

have stalled long enough. Begin the final

event. Yes, or we shall

decimate your home planets at

once. So those are the two you were

talking about, Ben. Your

reptilian champion is afraid of

our earthling, Paulus. Afraid or

not, the third contest must begin,

and he shall still triumph.

Let's see now. Ben said that each of the

two alien commanders locked his own

spaceship with a particular electronic

key. Ah, here they are. All

set, Ben. All right,

yo-yo-yos! We are ready to

begin. Good.

The final event is a giant discus

toss. Whoever throws his discus

the farthest will be declared the winner

of the Space Olympics. Are you ready, big

man?Ready, little one?

All right, then, heads up! Space Pockies!

They're hurling them

straight up. If those powerful discs

damage the dome, all our air will

instantly escape.

The dome!Within moments, there will be no

air left inside. Our space helmets, they

are in our ships. We must get them before

we all perish. Another

few seconds. No, it

can't be. My electronic key

doesn't fit this lock. Huh

Then we Polarians will be the only ones

with space helmets, and we shall have you

with our mercy. Impossible, my

key does not fit either. Then we are

all doomed. Yes, if you

both persist in acting like power mad

maniacs bent on galactic conquest.

You were the other members of the

Fantastic Four, the friends of the

champion we chose. Then this is all

your fault, Sandro. They neutralized our

electronic keys somehow to destroy us

both. No, I merely exchanged your

keys. Each of you now has the key that

belongs to the other. If you two

commanders will exchange keys back again,

you can still save yourselves, your men,

and all of us. That is simple. Give me

the key to my flying triangle, Paulus,

and then I will give you yours. No,

you give me my key first, Sandro. I do

not trust you. And why should I

trust you?It's all gonna be over for you

two, unless you learn to trust each other

fast. I would like to trust

Sandro, but I dare not. Neither

do I. If I give him his key and then

he refused to give me mine... Wait,

don't you see?All it takes is for each of

you to hold out his hand at exactly the

same time. Yes, that would work.

I'll count to five, and when I get there,

I want each of you to hand the other his

key. Now here we go. One,

two, three, four,

five. Here, Here is my

key, Paulus. And mine, Sandro.

Perhaps you can be trusted after all. And

so can you. If only we had

known this centuries ago. Well,

what do you know?We did it, Herbie!

Just in time, too, Ben. Hurry, Ben. We've

got to join Sandro and the Santorians in

their flying triangle before it's too

late. Yeah, I know, but goodbye,

Earthling. Perhaps we shall meet again

someday if you ever visit my world

in the constellation Orion. Check.

And if you ever fall by the Big Apple,

look me up, and we'll split a pizza, huh

Well, see you, pal.

Moments later, two gigantic spaceships

hurtle skyward away from the surface of

the moon. The Polarion ship's headed once

for deep space, while the Centurion

Flying Triangle turns toward the nearer

planet Earth.

Prepare to beam the Fantastic Four down

to surface. Yes, Commander Sandro! We're

back! Ohh

I thought maybe I'd seen this big blue

marble for the last time! Earthlings,

you have taught us all a great lesson

this day. With a new bond of trust

between us, we can work for a lasting

peace in the galaxy. And outer space

shall be free of warfare because of

what you four have done today.

Wow, look at that baby go!

Yes, if only the human heart could always

keep pace with the speed of human

technology. Uh oh, listen

to him, Tin Tuff. There goes Reed

being profound again. Well,

look at the bright side, Benjamin. That's

one thing no one will ever accuse you of.

Yeah, that's it. Hey, I thought

you was glad to see me back. Oh, I am,

Benjamin, believe me. I have some heavy

lifting that needs doing in the lab, but

if you think I should go ask Monstro

instead... Maybe, you

really know how to hide a die, don't you?