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01x01 - A Monster Among Us

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Fantastic Four". Aired: September 9, 1978.*
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The super-elastic Mr. Fantastic, the force field-wielding Invisible Girl, the orange rock-covered Thing and the data-crammed robot H.E.R.B.I.E. make up a team of superheroes dedicated to thwarting would-be world-dominating villains.

01x01 - A Monster Among Us

Post by bunniefuu »

It was the world's strangest accident

while testing a new rocket ship.

Our heroes were bombarded by mysterious

cosmic rays from outer space.

Though they crash landed safely, the

strange and powerful rays had changed

each one of them. Transforming their

leader Reed Richards into the plastic

skinned Mr. Fantastic,

Sue Richards into the now you see her,

now you don't Invisible Girl

and Ben Grimm into a mighty muscled

powerhouse called the Thing.

Now together with Herbie the Robot, the

newest member of the group, they have

become the greatest team of superheroes

the world has ever known.

The new Fantastic Four.

While the planet Earth peacefully rotates

upon its axis, suddenly, without warning,

a dangerous meteor shower hurtles through

space. A

visitor from another Galaxy.

finds itself trapped in battery.

Oh, wow!Hey, Pop!

What is it, Robbie?Look! Wait a

minute. I don't believe this. Get away

from the window, son. This can't be. But

Pop!

Impossible! Now I've seen it all!

His spacecraft wrecked, the enormous

visitor from beyond the stars decides to

check the area. Will he prove to be a

friend or a foe?Oh,

me. What is it?Good golly. It's a

monster.

Holy mackerel. That thing almost got us!

Don't make a sound. If it hears us, we're

in big trouble!

Oh, golly! Look at the size of him!

Unaware of the strange visitor from outer

space, Reed Richards and Ben Grimm, the

Thing, put together an incredible

piece of new equipment. Careful, Ben.

That's a ton of equipment there.

Hey, relax, Tredjo. This

gizmo ain't heavy to a guy like me.

Work. I can handle this with one finger.

You're playing with a $50 million energy

converter. Now put it down and knock off

the nonsense. Just watch it. One

little jar and.

Hey, this plastic thing hates me. All

right, now what do we do?Big

brain. All right, Ben, just hold it

until I finish the repairs.

And I'll need this battery operated

scanner and this sonar

drill. I see the problem.

This interlock is jammed.

How come I get the heavy jobs and that

nutty robot gets the easy ones?

Kirby has enough to do running the

operations room. Anyway, you can use the

exercise.

I do not understand why I have to do the

heavy thinking jobs and Ben Grimm gets to

perform the easy tasks around here. Then

again, no one programmed him to think the

way I do. For instance, this

international scanner beam, much too

subtle for Ben Grimm. Fortunately, I have

been imputed with sensitivity, with

knowledge. Who else could operate the

complexity of the Fantastic Four

headquarters?Who else could keep this

place on an even keel?

My sensors identify you. What

can I do for you, Susan?I

just can't fool you, can I, Herbie?

Your atomic structure was a dead

giveaway. In other words, I read your

vibrations, just as I have been

programmed to do. And what if I change my

atomic structure?Your hypotheses

will not play the grocer. You wait a

minute. Uh oh, something is

wrong. What is it, Herbie?

We have an alert situation. My systems

tell me to stand by for a dynamic input.

I don't understand, Herbie. Excuse me,

but I must sound a general alert. Danger

approaches. We are no longer in a

preliminary yellow condition. This is now

a code red situation.

I will try to compute the source of the

danger. Calm

down, Herbie. Can you pinpoint what the

problem is?We have an emergency

situation. We are all in imminent danger.

Danger?Are you sure, Herbie?

Look at the top of the Baxter building,

the headquarters of the Fantastic Four.

It's glowing. That's their danger alert.

Reed. Ben. Quick. All right, Ben.

Lower it into the interlock. Yeah. Got

you, Stretcho. Herbie has activated the

red alert. Scramble and on the double.

And I hope that tin head didn't wash it

up again. Herbie doesn't make mistakes.

Now hurry to the operations room.

Shades of Adromeda. My sensors tell me

that an alien force has landed on Earth.

This calls for a code for alert.

Hey, you blasted bucket of bolts. Shut

that thing off. Hold it, Ben. Don't

hurt him.

Hurt Kirby. I love that little

creep. Something triggered my warning

circuit. I am never wrong. We are in

danger. I'll bet the little yo-yo just

wants attention. My sensors have alerted

me to an alien force on this planet. It

can be very destructive. That's all I

know. Herbie, can you compute the source

of the danger?It came from outer space,

but now it is on Earth. Oh, what's the

problem?We'll just clobber it. No,

noFirst, we must determine its power. Its

energy is beyond limit. Wait a minute.

My sensors tell me that the alien is

getting closer to the city. All right,

everybody into the fantastic car. I will

not join you. My place is here. I must

take care of operations. Why, you little

sardine can. What's the matter?You

afraid to fly?You're nothing but a

chicken-headed tape recorder. Get

your stubby digits out of my view screen,

you overgrown granite head. What?

Why, I'll bend your readout meter for

you, you little. I knock it off, Ben. Now

listen carefully, Herbie. If your sensors

pick up anything new, contact us

immediately. You can trust me, Reed. As I

receive more information, I shall relay

it to you. OK, now let's get to the

fantastic car. See you

later, Tinhead. Roger.

Unless I see you first, your sedimentary

bumbleshirt. Did you hear what that

imitation crockpot told me?

Oh, man, real man.

I don't want to alarm you to. But if

Herbie is right, this alien force,

whatever it is, may be more than we can

cope with. Hey, don't worry, Big

Ben. Have No Fear. Big Ben is

here. Listen, maybe it's just a satellite

that's decayed in orbit. That is a

possibility, Reed. I don't think so, Sue.

Herbie would have recognized it. No.

For Herbie to hit a red alert means he's

discovered something he's never been

programmed for. We must be careful.

I'm not kidding, Sir. It was as big as a

house. It wrecked my station.

Right now it's heading for the City

Bridge. Oh, I can still see

it. Begin establishing a perimeter around

the crash area. Don't let any sightseers

in there, no matter who they are. Find

out what's happening and report back. You

get Washington on the line.

No doubt about it, Armand. This is a hot

area. You trying to tell me that a UFO

really did land near here?

I don't know about you, buddy, but I'm

not looking any further without orders

from command headquarters.

And while the National Air Corps is

conducting a search near the crash area,

Reports of a gigantic monster are

beginning to flood police headquarters.

And here's a late announcement. The

monster is next to the city bridge. All

citizens are warned to stay clear of the

area. Holy Toledo. Look at the

size of that creep. He makes King

Kong look like a midgetHerbie nailed it.

There's our red alert. The

mysterious monster from outer space

approaches the city bridge. His

curiosity causes a trail of

destruction.

Good grief. He's throwing those cars off

the bridge except they were toys. Tell

him to knock them off, Ben, or he'll have

to answer to you. Very funny, wise

guy. And how would a big brain like you

handle that crowd?I'm thinking. Where

do you think it's from, Reed?Not from our

Galaxy, that's for sure. No wonder that

little brass computer stayed home. That

overgrown gorilla would cause him to

short-circuit. If there were only some

way to confine him to Great Scott. Look,

he's damaged the bridge. Oh, Reed. If it

goggles, those people will be hurt. Take

over the fantastic car, Sue. Ben and I

will try to save the bridge. Get us a

little closer. Will do. OK,

stretcho, you know what to do. Get a good

grip on my feet, Ben. Relax, Mr. Just

do your thing.

You know something, Stretcho?You make a

great roller coaster ride.

Grab that pillar, Ben. Here comes the

rest of me. Step on it,

guys. It's headed for the city. Sue, keep

an eye on that beast.

And this latest word just in. The monster

has thrown several abandoned cars from

the city bridge. All citizens are warned

to stay away from the bridge area. Anyone

caught near the bridge part of town will

be arrested for their own protection.

Stay in your homes. I repeat,

stay inside your homes.

This is a prime alert. All pilots to your

planes. Comsack Ballistics, order

TS-555. Activate. Get

me the president on the hotline. Right,

sir. The Prime Alert gets the military

units on an active basis. The Army...

the Air Force...

and the Navy.

Head for the alien monster.

Operation Central, this is Sue. Do you

read me?Come in, Herbie. Go ahead. I

am standing by for your instructions. How

can I help you?Herbie, take a look at

this monster in your monitor. What's the

best way to deal with it?We need a plan

of action now. You cannot handle that

monster by conventional means. Let me see

if I can find a suitable defense.

Incredible. That creature has the

strength of a hurricane. It must have a

weakness somewhere. Standing by,

Herbie.

Herbie, do you hear me?I'm caught in a

magnetic force field. It's coming from

the alien. Activate remote control.

Hurry, Herbie. I apologize, but we have

a problem in the remote control unit.

Sorry.

The emergency circuits are full

capacitance. They cannot handle overlord.

I am ahead of myself.

Herbie, calm down. Get a hold of

yourself. I am having a problem situation

here. My emergency frequencies are

overlapping. I'll have lost control.

Herbie, you've got to slow down.

Was Ben correct, Herbie?Have you been

short-circuited?Are you no longer able to

function?Sorry, my sensors were

hyper-activated. I have now resumed

control of pre-programmed IO. Can you

break this magnetic force field?Hang on.

This should do it.

Oh, wow!

Hermie, help me! Please stand by

for a moment. I believe I have determined

a program for operations. First, I must

prevent the destruction of the

Fantasticar and send it back to Reed and

Ben. They'll be able to help you.

That went close. Man, look at those

girders. What a mess. All right, Ben,

give us a hand.

Hey, Special, look. Who needs a

rivet g*n?Ben, look, the

Fantasticar. Hey, Sue's not in it.

We've got to find her. If that b*mb has

harmed Susan, I'll give me a hand, Ben.

That's a stretcho.

Hang on to your hats, kitties.

Got it. Now to get Ben.

Grab home and away

we

go. Holy cat. What a predicament.

Hold it, man. Don't fire. You'll hit the

girl. This is General Prescott.

Emergency. Call off the airstrike.

Repeat. Call off the airstrike and

stand by for further orders.

There he is, Ben. He's got Sue. Is she

OK?I can't tell from here. Hang on.

We're going in.

Sue, use your power of invisibility.

I'll. I'll try.

Watch it. That

was close. Operations control.

Respond, please. Go ahead, Herbie. I

have scanned the thinking pattern of the

alien being. He is confused and does not

wish to harm Earth people. At the moment,

he is frightened. It is very important

that the alien not be harmed in any way.

Uh, baloney. We can't let that creep run

loose. We got to clobber him. The

consequences will prove to be disastrous

if the alien is injured. His companions

are watching. But he's tearing up the

city, Herbie. Nevertheless, you must

protect him at all costs. I have already

been in touch with the president. He

agrees that the alien must not be harmed,

no matter what he does. If he is

injured in any way, the very planet Earth

is in jeopardy. I repeat, jeopardy.

You're calling the shots on this one,

Herbie. We'll do our best. Good luck,

Richards. The whole world is relying on

you. I don't get it, Rubber Man.

First we try to clobber that bum. Now we

got to protect them. You heard Herbie,

Ben.

General Trescott, call off the airstrike.

That's orders from the president. None

confirmed. We have not received word from

the White House, and my orders stand. We

must defend the city. If Herbie's

correct. We can't let this happen. Maybe

I can help Reed. Not by yourself, Susie.

You're right, Ben. You can help me. I

hear you talking, lady. I'll turn that

alien invisible. All

right, here goes nothing.

You've got to go on a diet, big fella.

There's the spacecraft.

Hang on, Chuckles. We're almost there.

Look, he's heading for his ship. Oh,

there goes Tiny Jim and good

riddance.

I hope Herbie's right. Now, if he would

just leave Earth. Oh,

here comes General Trescott.

We just received word from the president.

You three are now in command. But he also

told me to advise you that you will be

totally responsible for anything that

happens from this point on.

For your information, we have surrounded

that spacecraft with microphonic

antimatter units. If anything goes

wrong, hold it. Look.

Oh boy, here we go.

Stand by the AM units, but

hold your fire. Wait a minute. Don't get

anxious. All right, visitors,

play nice.

I don't like the looks of this, Stretcho.

People of Earth, we have repaired our

spacecraft. We did not land on your

planet by choice. In time,

we may wish to communicate with you.

We thank you for saving our son.

Had you harmed him,Your planet would have

been in grave trouble. Although you

are a savage and warlike people,

perhaps there is still hope for you.

Hopefully one day you will learn the

ways of peace.

If only you were not

so ugly.

We were certainly lucky we were able to

save that kid from outer space. Lucky no

one injured him, or we'd have been in big

trouble. Yeah. Well, I didn't like

the way he called us ugly. It's a good

thing they didn't get a look at Herbie.

They'd have zapped us for sure. Among

robots of the cybernetic order, I am

considered rather handsome. Thank you.

Look, you poor excuse for a tape

recorder. The only reason I talk to you

at all is because you're uglier than me.

That is an impossibility. You are in a

class by yourself. There they go again.

Don't point that wet noodle finger at me,

half pint. You are a product of bad

breeding. What?Why, you're lucky I

don't squeeze you until you pop your

rivets, you stereophonic cassette buck.

Well, it looks like things are back to

normal again. Those two

are never happier than when they're

fighting, and you know, it's hard to

believe. They really love each other. You

know something, Benjamin?With a little

more effort, you could be completely

impossible. What?Impossible. A

ten-letter word.

Fox Kids. Fox Kids. Fox Kids.

Fox Kids. Fox Kids.