02x01 - Another Order of Evil: Part One!

[bunniefuu]

[crewman]
Loading dock four, ready for pick up.

[Hulk]
Aww, Hulk miss Shiny.

Yeah, I know, we all miss
the Silver Surfer, big guy.

But the Super Hero Squad
is kaput.

Now, that there isn't a new super-villain
throw down everyday

it makes sense for SHIELD
to move back into their helicarrier.

Yeah, Dr. Doom hath been
in jail for months, dude.

Did I just say "dude"?

See you around, bucket head.

[sighs]

[Thor strains]

[Iron Man] Good luck, Thor.

[Thor] Verily.

[door closes]

[woman giggling]

Time to go? I had to check on something.
When can I come back?

Soon as pigs fly
or we become SHIELD agents.

[siren wailing]

Or I guess we come back
if there some other big,

big cosmic threat
that took all of us to defeat.

[Falcon] Oh, that's not gonna happen,
right? It's crazy.

[craft approaching]

[stones rumbling]

Oh.

At last, the lost treasure
of Ypsilantis!

And most of all, the Infinity Gauntlet.

Some assembly required.

[laughs]

Soon the whole universe
will be my plaything.

And I don't take
very good care of my toys.

[laughing]

With this Infinity Gauntlet

I, Thanos, will rule the universe!

All right, Squaddies,
time to Hero Up.

[theme song playing]

♪ When the bad guys are out ♪

♪ All you have to do is shout now ♪

♪ Who's gonna Hero Up? ♪

♪ Well, they may not get along ♪

♪ But they're always
Fighting strong now ♪

♪ Who's gonna Hero Up? ♪

♪ Who'll save the day?
The Super Hero Squad! ♪

♪ They'll Hero Up again! ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad!
Hero Up ♪

♪ Wolverine and Hulk are fierce,
Thanos ends in tears ♪

♪ When Iron Man
Joins the fight ♪

♪ Falcon darts in
from the sky ♪

♪ Scarlet Witch by his side ♪

♪ Thor's hammer
Has thunder's might ♪

♪ Who'll save the day?
The Super Hero Squad! ♪

♪ They'll Hero Up again! ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad!
Hero Up ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad!
Hero Up ♪

♪ Super Hero Squad ♪

[groans]

[Thanos laughs]

With the Infinity Gauntlet, I can destroy
to my dark little heart's content.

- [Captain Marvel] Not so fast, Thanos.
- Huh?

A conqueror of a thousand suns
type like you

could use that thing to start
another galactic w*r.

Well, well, looks who's here.

Mar-Vell of the Kree Empire.

That's Captain Marvel,
asteroid clown.

I was on my way to a peace conference
when I saw you steal it.

Now, drop the glove before
these Nega-bands negate you.

[Thanos]
You have bigger things to worry about

than your peace treaty
with the Skrulls.

[grunts]

[rock cracking]

[snickers]

[cries out]

[chuckles]

I was holding back.

[mocking]

[burps]

[groans]

[strains]

If I have to pull this Soul Stone over...

Don't even think...
[strains]

Tight fit.

- Yeah.
- [Captain Marvel] Hey.

Where am I?

[Thanos] Shh, shh, trapped
in the Soul Stone.

I'll explain later.

Another champion gone.

Whew. Soon I'll have the power

to grind whole chunks
of the sky into paste.

[Soul Stone] Hmm? Am I supposed to say
something here?

I'm monologuing.

Marvel is due at the peace talks

between his Kree Empire
and the Skrulls.

[laughs]

Well, when he doesn't show up

the Skrulls will assume
it's a trick and retaliate.

[laughs]

Thousands of worlds will be lost
in a universal w*r.

Ooh, I really do bring the party with me.

[laughing]

Ah, finally I have
a little time to catch up

on some pressing business
correspondence.

First, I'll un-friend Juggernaut.

Now, dear Monongahela Metal Foundry

I am shocked and appalled...
That's good.

...by the shoddy workmanship
of...

- Whoa!
- [Ms. Marvel] Iron Man, we have to hurry.

S.H.I.E.L.D. has been using
a sub-geometric quantum

radio-telescope to listen in on
the Kree-Skrull peace talks.

Yeah, yeah, sure. That's the Kree Empire.
That's the Skrull Empire.

And there's Earth
right in the middle. Whoa.

If this w*r gets any worse,
Earth will be caught in the crossfire.

Thank you. Captain Marvel
is supposed to be above

the Skrull throne world right now,
but he's gone missing.

Boy, isn't that just like a Kree.

[powering up] I want the Squad to back me
up on a diplomatic mission...

- Uh, I won't do that if I were you...
- To calm the Skrulls down

before there's
an intergalactic conflict.

[grunts]

Oh, dang.

Two itty-bitty problems.

There isn't a Super Hero Squad anymore

and you can't just fly the helicarrier
to another galaxy.

Hey, ow, ow.

S.H.I.E.L.D. has a secret jump station.

Secret jump station?

What's a jump station?

Wish us luck.

[Captain America]
Uh, good luck and play nice, you two.

- Meet your new space navigator.
- [beeps]

H.E.R.B.I.E, the Fantastic Four's cute
yet comedic robot?

No, H.E.R.B.I.E, the singing cowboy.

Want to see a rope trick?

[laughs] Owned.

[Iron Man]
Hey, guys.

Ms. M needs us for one last mission,
shell head.

- [Thor] What say thee?
- I say thee... whoa!

Does that mean yes?
Help me out here.

Ooh, the genius of Dr. Doom
in solitary confinement.

Villainville destroyed.

My life in ruin!

Well, at least in here
I'm free of those two idiots

M.O.D.O.K. and Abomination.

Ooh.

- Ah, lunch time.
- [chain rattles]

Huh? Fools!

Oh, if I had any weapons
left in this armor

I'd roast my jailers alive
and finally have a decent meal.

- [loud rumble]
- Ooh.

[Captain America]
Teleporter rift on stand-by.

Prepare for jump
in 20 seconds.

Ooh, what's this?

I'll ask again.
What is a jump station?

Welcome to age
of teleportation.

[Dr. Doom]
Oh, my, my, my.

Long-range teleporter.

Whoa, where are we?

Sweet honey in the rock.

'Tis space.

Ooh, where's space?

Not just any space, deep space.

[farting sounds]

- Hey, what's that?
- [alarm blaring]

[long fart]

Huh?

Be right back.
I need to check on something.

Uh... uh.

- [squeaky fart]
- [laughs]

Aah, we're leaking air.

The ship wasn't designed
for space travel.

Slow leak. Probably fine.

Probably fine?

Unidentified Kree vessel
surrender at once.

The Skrull Imperial Forces
have you surrounded.

[Iron Man]
Good job, H.E.R.B.I.E, "probably fine."

[Dr. Doom] Whatever the Super Hero Squad
is up to it's big!

Huh? You don't just teleport
across the galaxy for kicks.

Something up there
is ripe for plunder.

And I want it.

Although, what would Red Skull do?

Of course, of course!

I'll break out of here
follow the Squaddies into space

destroy them, and take their stuff.

Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you,
my inspirational poster.

[screams]

[Wrecker]
Thunderball! We're through!

[Thunderball]
Yeah, Wrecker, that pickaxe you stole

from the prison dentist really did the...

Oh, dang.

Hello, boys.

Bustin' out, I see.

Mind if I tag along?

[grunts]

What are you, deficient or something?

We trusted you on that Infinity Sword job
and you cheated us.

[strains]

Yeah, after we trusted you.

Well, obviously, I can't cheat you
before you trust me.

I never thought of that.

Ow!

Fools!

- Huh?
- What did you say?

[chuckles]

How foolish of me
to put myself in the way

of your ball and chain.
[chuckles]

- What's the plan?
- I don't suppose you have a crowbar?

Fresh out.

Uh, right, right, right.

Listen up.

We break through this wall

and jump three stories to the ground, see?

- Oh.
- Then while the guards are distracted

with sh**ting at us, we break through
the outer wall, right?

Do go on.

And then we do the same
with the outer, outer wall.

And the next outer wall
and so on

and so forth
till we get to the street.

- I see.
- Then we wait for a bus.

When the bus comes, we hijack it
and we drive over to Jersey.

Well, well, well, well,
my, my, my, my.

That certainly is the worst plan
I have ever heard.

It's a first draft!
What do you want?

You kept your brains in that crowbar,
didn't you?

Now, huddle up, kids. And let Daddy Doom
come up with a scheme that works.

[Super-Skrull]
Give up, Kree.

Super-Skrull demands it.

[Ms. Marvel] Let me be diplomatic
and non-threatening.

We aren't Kree.
We're looking for a boyfriend.

I mean, my boyfriend.
I mean, Captain Marvel.

Dang it! Now I'm flustered.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wait just a minute.

Your imaginary boyfriend in space
is Captain Marvel?

Ooh?

Ha, Wait, wait, wait.

She's got a boyfriend?

OK, moving on.

- She's not free?
- Yeah, we get it.

- She's not free?
- Oh, big news.

Yeah, I'll alert the press.

Be this the down-low
of earthly lore?

You guys are so immature.
Let it go!

Where's space?

[sighs] I give up.

[both] Whoa!

Hands up, Kree scum.

- Earth scum, you big dumb...
- [g*ns click]

Wait, wait, no fighting.
We're supposed to be diplomats.

Yeah, no fighting.

- Just smashing!
- Ah!

Hulk, no!

- [clattering]
- [blows landing]

[scuffling continues]

The rest of you,
show us your hands.

[both cry out]

[Skrulls groan]

Make sure they stay put.

We got to stop this
before it gets serious.

You mean more serious, right?

- Deck five's clear.
- It's a very big boat.

Hulk and Super-Skrull could be...

Huh?
Oh, where spaceman go?

[grunts]

Ooh.
Spaceman sucker punch Hulk.

- [roars]
- [growls]

Huh?

Hurt like... like heck!

Have you forgotten
that the Super-Skrull

has all the power
of Earth's Fantastic Four?

Hulk not remember
what Hulk forgot.

[strains]

Ow!

[yells]

[groans]

[woman groans]

Ow.

[roars]

I am through with you, monster.

- [Ms. Marvel] You need a bigger laser.
- [both] Huh?

Yeah, the little ones
just make him grouchy.

Hulk, we're in the middle
of a delicate mission.

Violence only exacerbates
an already precarious situation.

Huh? Hulk no understand
big words.

No fight because Hulk trust yellow hair.

Hulk trust yellow hair.

Huh?

[Super-Skrull]
Let's go.

You are all prisoners
of the Skrull Empire.

Don't remind me.
Psst, H.E.R.B.I.E.

Stash the ship behind a moon
and stand by.

[beeps]

[groans and coughs]

Why does it got
to be dirty laundry?

Because, Thunderball

the dirty stuff is what they carry out.

You can hide in the clean
fluffy laundry

[yells] when you break into prison.

Slams your clams.

Uh. [Whistling]

[beeps]

[gasps]

[alarm blares]

Whoa!

[Dr. Doom]
Just a few more yards. Run!

[strains]

[Captain America]
♪ Oh beautiful, for tasing spies ♪

♪ For Amber and Lorraine ♪

Hup! Hup! h*!

[cries out]

I'll take it from here, men.

[both grunt]

Wrecker, Thunderball

hold it right there.

- You call that a plan?
- Yeah.

Tell it to the Warden.

[Dr. Doom yells]

Aha, there you are.

Oh, I haven't forgotten you,
Dr. Doom.

In fact, I want to thank you
for stopping these two from escaping.

[loud crashing]

[Dr. Doom]
Nuts!

Look at the bright side, now you'll
only be serving 10 life sentences.

But I...

[whistles Yankee Doodle]

Hup, hup, hup, hup.
Hup hup, hup! Hey-oh.

Oh, you'll be rid of Doom
sooner than that.

I can't let the Super Hero Squad

tour the galaxy while I rot in jail.

We're in jail?

Aww, Hulk always hounded

- and hunted...
- [stomach growls]

...and hungry!

No prison can hold Hulk!

Hulk, the walls have one-way
inertia fields.

When you hit them, they bounce
your own force right back at you.

[yells]

Blah, puny force.

Hulk smash!

[grunts]

[cries]

At least he's making an effort.

We need to bust out of here.

What we need is a brilliant
save.

If only I can reverse the polarity

of the field with a well-placed
unibeam burst.

[grunts and groans]

Ask me, the polarity
is fine the way it is.

Any other ideas?

Hey, guys, I wasn't sure
whether I should mention this

but we've got
an ace in the hole.

Listen...

[door opens]

Oops, to be continued.

These are the prisoners,
Princess Anelle.

I know that.

The question is how many of them

must I vaporize
before the others talk?

- [yells]
- Ooh.

[Thanos] With those meddling
Earthlings out of the way,

I'll make certain that the
Skrulls and Kree declare

an all out intergalactic w*r
that will destroy the entire galaxy!

And best of all, I, Thanos,
will have a front row seat.

[laughs]

Yeah.

[laughing]

[theme music playing]