01x03 - Osborn Academy

[bunniefuu]

PILOT:
All units report.

-We are in pursuit of the Jackal.
-[JACKAL GRUNTS]

SPIDER-MAN: Hold on,
let me get to a better spot, Harry.

How about now? Can you hear me now?

Good. Because what I was
saying was I'm coming, Harry.

I just got a little caught up
in something.

What could be more important
than my dad's unveiling

of the Osborn Academy for Geniuses?

SPIDER-MAN: Nothing.
It's just cops have all of downtown

blocked off in pursuit of this Jackal guy.

A jackal? Shouldn't they be calling
animal control instead?

[GRUNTS]
SPIDER-MAN: Very funny.

-He's a super villain who stole some...
-[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]

SPIDER-MAN:
...Stark tech.

-[BOTH GRUNT]
-Hold on a second.

Still there?
Sounded like the call got dropped.

[GRUNTS] It did for a sec.
HARRY: Just get your butt over here.

SPIDER-MAN: I am. I'm just waiting
for the traffic light to change.

[HELICOPTER WHIRRING]

And there's the green I was looking for.
I'll be there soon, Harry.

I have a hunch this
is all going to clear up real soon.

[JACKAL GRUNTING]
SPIDER-MAN: I hope.

GIRL:
Everybody look out!

[LADDER COLLAPSES THEN THUDS]

[SIRENS WAILING]

SPIDER-MAN:
Uh, listen, Harry.

I should really go.

-[HELICOPTER WHIRRING]
-But don't worry, I should be there soon.

[JACKAL SNARLING]

[GRUNTS] And now, to snag the Jackal
with a well-placed web.

Guys, we really need to coordinate things
if we're going to share the sky.

We just got ahead of him.
We're cutting him off now.

Why bother fighting for the sky,

when the whole city will soon belong
to the Jackal?

[SCREAMS]

No, no, no!

SPIDER-MAN: Focus, focus!
Got to web something quick.

[HELICOPTER WHIRRING]

Yow! That's too much fan
for my fanny. Uh-oh.

-[ALARM BLARING]
-The tail rotor's out. I'm going down!

SPIDER-MAN:
I did that. Sorry.

Nice work, Spider-Man.
[SNARLS]

SPIDER-MAN: How is it that most kids
are dealing with homework,

and I'm dealing with five tons
of crashing metal?

[GRUNTS] The Greeks knew
that all the strength in the world

would still need a fulcrum.

[PANTS]
That's why they invented the pulley.

[PILOTS GRUNT]

PILOT:
No, no, no!

Oops-ilon.

SPIDER-MAN: Forgot to compensate
for weight distribution.

Now I've got to save the pilots
and the people on the street.

[CLAMORING]
[GRUNTS]

[PILOTS WAIL]
[SCREAMS]

SPIDER-MAN:
I think I'm going to make it!

SPIDER-MAN: What? Whoa!
[GIRL GASPS]

Did the Jackal just do my job for me?

[HELICOPTER WHIRRING]
[GRUNTING]

PILOT: Thanks, Spider-Man.
-It's not very "bad guy" of him.

[SIRENS WAILING]
POLICE: We got the Jackal cornered.

All units respond.

[SIRENS WAILING IN THE DISTANCE]
[TIRES SCREECH]

-Hold your fire.
-He's taken a c*ptive.

SPIDER-MAN:
Not on my watch, he isn't.

[GRUNTING]
[SNARLS]

[GIRL SCREAMS]

[GRUNTS]
Hey, there.

There you are, safe as can be.

Thanks. I don't mean to judge,

but you know
you could've just created a web fan

and made a wind cushion
from the helicopter's air pressure, right?

[STAMMERS] Yeah. I mean, I guess
that's one way I could've done that.

But you still prefer your way, huh?

Not to judge, but you know you could
have just ended with "thanks," right?

I guess that's one way
I could've done that.

But do the people you put in harm's way
usually greet you with a warm reception?

The Osborn Academy reception!

[BEEPING]

Drat. I missed it.

Sure did.

I'm so sorry, Harry. [STAMMERS]

I know, I know. You're Peter Parker.

Let's just forget it
and I'll show you around.

Everybody who is anybody was here.

Including Max and the Horizon High g*ng.

Maybe we can catch up with them
on the tour.

I got to say,
I'd never actually admit it to him,

but my dad opening this school
for geniuses is pretty cool.

PETER:
Awesome view!

Yeah, Norman converted the penthouse
of the Oscorp building

so that the Osborn Academy
is at the very top.

Gives students something to reach for.

Whoa. That's a long way to reach.

And that's why our students
will be the very best.

Starting with Harry here,

who's just been appointed class president,
by the way.

[HUMS]

[CHUCKLES]

Mr. Osborn. Good to see you again, sir.

You as well, Peter.
Are you here to apply for enrollment?

Oh. Thanks, Mr. Osborn.
But I just got accepted into Horizon High.

[HUMS] Well, let's hope you don't get
suspended for something you didn't do.

Dad.

Don't worry, sir. I have no doubt
that will get cleared up very soon.

But it was nice of you
to do all this for Harry.

When it involves my son,
I will move mountains if need be.

Wouldn't that upset the organic balance
of nature?

Science is the enhancement
of nature, Max. You know that.

-It's good to see you again.
-We wouldn't have missed it.

Any opportunity to expand the minds
of young students

is always a reason to celebrate.

I'm glad you see it that way.
I thought you might feel threatened.

[HUMS] Not at all.

Schools should be able to coexist
within a supportive environment.

Not to mention my school
is filled to capacity.

Well, I assure you, by the end of the day,
our school will be full as well.

In fact, let's look in on some
of the auditions, shall we?

Glad to see it's not just Horizon events
you're late for.

-There was a lot of traffic.
GIRL: Well, you know what they say.

The shortest distance between two points
is the express train.

Hey, Pete, you still haven't met
Gwen Stacy, have you?

Gwen Stacy? I have.

I mean, I haven't. I mean-- I'm Peter.

I know who you are.

-You do?
-Yeah. Parker, right?

You saved everyone
from the Vibranium fire. Nicely done.

-Thanks.
-Don't let it go to your head.

You still ruined my entire project.

Over here, everyone.

I prefer to use two-way mirrors,
so as not to intimidate the interviewees.

I'm sure you're aware that a position
at the Osborn Academy is highly coveted.

So, what makes you think you have
what it takes to be a student here?

My name is John Jameson,

and not only am I studying astrophysics,

but so far, the Space Agency
has already adopted two of my ideas,

while I've adopted their motto,
"Failure is not an option."

Well, as the son of the brilliant
Spencer Smythe,

I already have the genes for excellence.

Hey, what's up, bro? I'm Flash Thompson,
and my genes are denim.

Because I'm super smart, is why.

Don't you already go to Horizon?

What? I'm covering my bases.

Herman and I are best friends,
so we work well together.

What Clayton's trying to say is that,
like a chemical compound,

we act as each other's catalysts
for conceiving great ideas.

Right. In fact, we inspired each other
to create this awesome new tech.

I call mine Clash-Tech
because it can manipulate sound.

And I've created these gauntlets
I call Shockers

that allow me to control vibrations.

CLASH-TECH: Charging.
[HUMMING]

[THRUMMING]

-Voila.
[BOTH GASP]

[THRUMMING]

NORMAN:
Very impressive, young men.

[BOTH GASPING]
Mr. Osborn.

But do you have the drive
to outshine the competition?

-Yes, sir.
-Absolutely.

Good. Because I'm only going
to take one of you.

-Wait. What?
-But we're a team.

And I'm looking for a solo act.

So whoever impresses me the most
will get to be a student here. Understood?

Mr. Osborn, Clayton and I
have worked together a long time.

-And-- Hey!
-[WHIRRING THEN THUMP]

Sorry, man. Must have slipped.

-You did that on purpose.
-I did not.

You know the activation switch
sticks a little.

-[WHIRRING]
-But it can totally be fixed.

Yeah, it's true.
It just needs a boost from my--

[GRUNTS]
What are you doing?

[STAMMERS]
I was trying to help.

-Yeah, help yourself get into this school.
-[THRUMMING]

[YELLS, THUDS THEN GRUNTS]

-Herman, I'm sorry. I overreacted.
-Get away from me.

[THRUMMING]
[GLASS SHATTERS]

-But I didn't mean to hurt you.
-I said get away from me!

Activate safe zone.

Package is in the box.

Clayton, I'm sorry. We're even.
Let's stop here.

-Oh, we are not even.
CLASH-TECH: Boosting.

-[HUMMING]
-Whoa! Well, have it your way, then.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

So, is that all you got?

These guys are out of control.

Oh, you want more?

[SHATTERING]
[SCREAMING]

Pete!

Don't need a costume to do some good.

[BOTH SCREAMING]

But I can do more as...

Spider-Man.

That's enough, you two.

If it wasn't for my web-chutes,
some innocent people might have been hurt.

We worked so hard for this day, Herman.

I can't believe you're turning against me.

Stop with the act!

-You know you turned on me first.
-[BEEPING]

Unh, they caused an electrical fire
in the biology lab.

Stop! Don't hit the alarm!
He'll manipulate the sound!

[ALARM BLARING]

I'll show you the true power of sound.

Clayton! I'm not against you.

-Then you shouldn't have attacked me.
-[WHIRRING]

CLASH-TECH:
Boosting beyond capacity.

SPIDER-MAN: Uh-oh.
He's about to unleash a sound b*mb.

And for the record? I plan on using
a web fan to create a wind cushion.

-Or a net. Just create a net!
-Oh, right.

Okay, bring it on.

[GLASS SHATTERS]
[GASPS]

SPIDER-MAN:
Everyone nice and stucky?

So this spider kid is auditioning too?

Then I need a bigger arena
to show off the full extent of my work.

[THRUMMING]

And may the best student win.

Hey, who said I was a student?

-And I'm not auditioning!
NORMAN: Good.

Because so far, I'm not impressed.

But-- [STAMMERS]

If you wanted out of this partnership,
Herman, you should've just said so.

As opposed to sabotaging it, like you did?

You're the one who wanted out.

I just didn't realize
it included the friendship.

[ELECTRONIC WHINE]

[THUDS]

CLASH-TECH:
Sound supply empty.

[SCREAMS THEN THUDS]

CLAYTON:
Need more sound.

[CLAYTON GRUNTS]
[SONIC HUMMING]

CLASH-TECH: Power restored.
[SONIC HUMMING CONTINUES]

How are you guys gonna get
into any school

when you're stuck in detention
for 30 years?

I don't know who you are,
but we were here first.

[SCREAMS THEN GRUNTS]

Pete! How does a guy fall out of a window
and disappear?

[VEHICLE APPROACHES]

[TIRES SCREECH]
[GRUNTS]

[BOTH GRUNT]

[CLANKING]

[DISTORTED]
Uh-oh. She's gonna blow!

[CLANKING AND WHOOSHING]

[CLAMORING]
SPIDER-MAN: Oh! Look out!

-Get off me.
-I was trying to help you.

You're never helping.
And what did you do to my friend Pete?

I webbed him a parachute.

-He should be around here somewhere.
-Well, he's not.

So, help me find him
or I'll tear you apart.

[VEHICLE APPROACHING]

[TIRES SCREECHING]
[SCREAMS]

[STAMMERS]
I got to-- I'll be right back.

[TIRES SCREECHING]

SPIDER-MAN:
Whoa!

[GRUNTING]
[SCREECHING CONTINUES]

Whoa, whoa, whoa!
[SIGHS]

[BRAKES HISS]

-Huh?
-Phew!

[DEVICES HUMMING]

Looks like we're all trying
to impress Norman Osborn.

[DEVICE HUMMING]

Time to see whose tech
has the strongest impact.

I think we both know the answer to that.

Huh?

-[DEVICE SHUTS DOWN]
-Hey!

What are you doing?
You've never had the power to do that.

It's not me.

Someone's siphoning the juice
from our tech.

JACKAL:
Not someone.

The Jackal. With an assist
from Tony Stark, of course.

[GROANS THEN THUDS]

I'll be taking that.

[SNARLS]
[CLASH-TECH WHIRS]

[GROWLS]

[GRUNTS] Huh?

Hey, no! [YELLS]

[THUDS THEN GROANS]

And I'd hate to see this hardware
go to waste.

SPIDER-MAN:
Jackal?

Don't tell me you're auditioning
for Osborn Academy too.

They are gonna have
one crazy debate club.

[SPIDER-MAN GROANS]
Oh, wow, that combined tech is fierce.

Don't want to feel that again.

JACKAL: Going somewhere?
-That fur in your ears must be thick.

SPIDER-MAN:
I said I didn't want to feel that again.

Spider-Man! Aim for Clayton's chest plate.

He hasn't worked out the bugs,
and it can't take a direct hit there.

Hey! That's a side effect of design,
not bad planning.

[SNARLING]

While you're at it, crush the wristband
of Herman's gauntlet.

That's where he houses
the power source.

Thanks, fellas! The question is,
how do I get near him?

SPIDER-MAN:
Of course!

A worker can withstand the vibrations
of that jackhammer

because he's wearing shock absorbers.

[SNARLS]
[BLASTS]

I'm guessing about a 36 medium.

Ah, let's just go full marshmallow suit.

[GRUNTS THEN COUGHS]

Huh. Might not be graceful enough

to get into the ballet,
but it should do the trick.

He leaps, he rolls, he waddles!

Whoa! [GRUNTS]

He-hey! It worked!

-How?
-[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]
I take this.

[GRUNTS]
[GLASS SHATTERS]

[GROWLS]

[GROANS]
Need to shed a few pounds and fast.

[CLAYTON & HERMAN GRUNTING]

Herman, if this is it, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry too. You're my best friend.

Aww. I can't separate such devoted pals.

So I'll take you both out!

[BOTH SCREAMING]

Man, I am not a fan
of these split-second decisions.

But a different fan
might finally work here.

[GRUNTING]

[ALL GRUNTING]

[BOTH SCREAM THEN GROAN]

[CARS HONKING]

That's twice now he's gotten away.

-We're so sorry, man.
-Yeah, I don't know what got into us.

We just got carried away.

Well, you're about to be carried back
to Osborn Academy to face the music.

Wait. Do we have to be airborne?

Yeah, I've had my fill of flying
for one day.

[GRUNTS]
Huh.

And I seem to have used up
all my web fluid on that web suit.

So, it looks like you're getting your way.

[ELEVATOR BEEPS THEN HUMS]

GWEN: I still can't find Peter.
SPIDER-MAN: Hey!

-How did you get out of my webs?
-Wasn't so hard.

We just whipped up
a simple chemical compound,

-and they dissolved pretty quick.
-Really?

MAN:
We'll take these two.

I'd like to say that while they do deserve
to be reprimanded,

these boys helped me get the stolen tech
back from the Jackal.

So, I vote for some leniency.

No charges need to be filed.
I am responsible.

I egged them on.

They were merely giving the type
of audition I'd expect

from a student of Osborn Academy.

That being said,
welcome aboard, young man.

Your Shocker technology
is very impressive.

-Yes!
-Better luck next year.

This is no way to run a school, Norman.

Pushing the boundaries of science
is one thing.

But crossing ethical lines
is not something you want to encourage.

Competition breeds excellence, Max.

I'm surprised you don't know that.

But you run your school
the way you want to,

and I'll run mine
the way successful people do.

Let's go, everyone.

Wait. Whatever happened to Peter?

Oh, he, uh, landed safely
a few blocks away

with, uh, one of my web parachutes.

Oh. All right. Then let's go.

By the way, I wound up using
that fan maneuver you suggested.

-It helped save the day.
-Of course it did.

Too bad I couldn't help you stop
the Jackal from getting away again.

SPIDER-MAN:
Ouch.

But I got the Stark tech back.
So that's a--

[SIGHS]
Who am I kidding? She's right.

It's not a win
until I bring the Jackal in.

[GROANS]
Web fluid.

-[SIRENS WAILING IN THE DISTANCE]
-Today feels like a long way down.

[CARS HONKING]

NORMAN: Trouble, son?
-I just don't trust that guy, Dad.

He's been nothing but bad news.

And I'm sure he had something
to do with me getting suspended.

Put it all behind you, Harry.

This is a brand-new beginning.

But my work. My research.

I invested a lot of time at Horizon High.

Now I have to start all over.

Walk with me, Harry.

Son, the Osborn name
will always be associated with genius.

Take today, for example.

When the smartest school around
no longer wanted you,

I created an even smarter school.

To save you from the embarrassment.

And if I have to take action to ensure

that your research from Horizon
isn't lost...

then I'll do that, too.

My experiments from Horizon.

Whoa.

-You stole them?
-I appropriated them.

If Horizon High
can't assure their security,

I can at least make sure they don't fall
into the wrong hands.

[STAMMERS]
I don't know what to say.

There's nothing to say. You're my son.

I expect great things from you, Harry.

So, don't mess up again.

[SLIDES THEN THUDS]

[SIGHS]

[GRUNTS THEN SNARLS]

[CAR APPROACHING]
[TIRE SCREECHES]

[GROWLS THEN GROANS]

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Hey, Uncle Raymond.
Sorry I'm late for dinner.

I've had quite the day.

That makes two of us, my dear.

[CREAKING]

[SOFT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

I don't know. As I was coming down,

the wind changed direction,
and I landed directly in the East River.

I still can't get the smell
out of my clothes.

I'm telling you,
that Spider-Man is no good.

He saved my life, Harry. And yours too.

Uh, didn't he?

Didn't someone say he saved you
or something? Psh.

[HUMS]
I'm still not convinced.

So, we'll just have to agree to disagree.

That's the great thing about us,
isn't it, Harry?

We can disagree about things
and still stay best friends.

I can't believe
those Shocker and Clash guys

turned on each other the way they did.

I know. To let something like school

get in the way of their friendship
is ridiculous.

Let's never be like them.

Never ever.

[GLASS CLICKS]

♪ [CLOSING THEME] ♪