01x16 - The Unfathomable Professor Gizmo

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

[narrator] Spider-Man.

[inaudible]

[thunder rumbling]

[meows]

[clacking]

[inaudible]

[roars]

[narrator] Spider-Man.

[Gizmo] All right, Spider-Man,

you've reached a depth of 1,053 feet.

Attach the transistor antenna
to the sunken gold ship.

Now my powerful little box

will take over by remote control.

Thank you, Spider-Man.

You have just helped Professor Gizmo,
master criminal,

recover the world's largest
sunken treasure.

I no longer need your help.

Farewell, has-been.

Ah, the model works perfectly.

Now I need the real Spider-Man.

For only he is strong enough
to withstand the undersea pressure.

Now to set the trap
to catch a web-spinner.

Phew!

A big party on the boss'
million dollar yacht

and I've got to go get my date
and take her to the pier by subway.

[man 1] OK, folks,
let's have all your money

and goodies, and nobody will get hurt.

Come on, now!

[Peter] Maybe if I ignore them,
they'll be nice muggers.

[old lady] Young man, that is my purse!

[Peter] I was afraid of that.

- Hey, that guy!
- Ah, forget it.

No place he can hide, uh.

We'll save him for last.

Hope the tux is wrinkle-proof.

Here goes.

Hey, it's Spider-Man!

You were expecting Captain Kangaroo?

Love to spend more time with you fellas,

but I see you're hung up tonight.

Gather up your goodies, friends.

[policeman] Hey, what's going on?

They're all yours, mister.

Just in time. This is my stop.

My mask! Well, I sure won't
need it at J.J.'s yacht party.

Wow! A Halloween mask for the kid.

Better yet, a hairnet for the wife.

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

Welcome to Jonah's Whale

for our annual Diamonds
for the Deprived charity cruise.

My helpers will now
pass among you with baskets

for your diamonds and jewelry.

But, boss, don't you want
pictures of the donations?

We got enough pictures. Get the donations.

[rumbling]

Heave to!

And pour the loot
into the ice-making machine

or the next cannon ball

has your engine room's name on it!

The Monitor!

It can't be the Monitor.

The Monitor was sunk over 100 years ago.

Impossible. It's got to be a fake.

That cannonball wasn't a fake, Jonah.

What a time to be without my Spidey mask.

[laughs] A cool million in hot ice.

No more need for the Monitor.

Back to the bottom.

[Jameson] I can't believe it.

Did you get pictures, Parker?

How could I, J.J.? You've got my camera.

Excuses, excuses. That's all I get.

[news anchor] The nation and the world
were stunned today

by the bizarre robbery at sea

involving what was believed
to be the historic Monitor.

What was once called
the "Yankee Cheese Box On A Raft,"

rose from the bottom of Chesapeake Bay

where it was sunk some 100 years ago.

Rats!

My Monitor caper didn't draw flies,

let alone Spider-Man.

But this one will,

when the Smithsonian Museum
loses the Lindbergh plane,

the Spirit of St. Louis.

But first, the diversion.

- What the...
- What's happening?

- The tanks. Look!
- Where they going?

Nobody's in them.

I'm standing here
near the Smithsonian Museum

as two tanks slowly circle it.

Meanwhile, the entire Washington
Military Corps is standing by.

Got to get to Washington, fast,

and cheap.

[Spider-Man] The military
may not be able to move in,

but Spidey can.

Sir! You on the ceiling?

You can't board this plane
without a ticket.

Don't worry. I promise
I won't get in the plane.

I told her I wouldn't get in the plane.

Stewardess, there's a man
with a mask on looking at me

from outside of this window.

Oh... I think you've had enough, sir.

Well, I can't waste any more time.

I'll activate the Spirit of St. Louis.

[woman] Look, the engine's starting,
and there's no one in it.

Hey, is this part of the tour?

Just as I thought.

No one there.

It's another Monitor job.

At last, he's here.

This time, I'll get some

- pictures for Jameson.
- [soldier] Stop!

You are surrounded by the
United States Army, Navy and Marines!

And the Air Force is on its way!

Well, as long as I'm not outnumbered.

Couldn't have timed it better
if you tried, Parker.

The wall-crawler
looks like a perfect fool.

Don't I know it?

First the diamonds, now the plane.

Who is the unknown thief
and how is Spider-Man tied in?

I'm going to runthis picture
every day until I get the answers!

Hey, look.

Those trains are out of service,
but they're moving.

The subway system
will be clogged for hours,

while I unclog several

of the larger vaults and safes
around New York.

Hey, you know, it seems funny,
nobody coming up from that subway station.

Tell you something funnier.

Yeah, what's that?

[man 2] Your truck is taking off
down the street without you.

Oh, that's funny, very fu...

Hey, what's goin' on?

Hey!

[screams] Ghosts!

Ah, perfect. Now to collect

the booty with the street cleaner's truck.

If this doesn't bring
Spider-Man out of hiding,

nothing will.

Almost too easy.

The subway jam has tied up
every cop in town,

but where is Spider-Man?

[man 3] Hey, what's going on?

Didn't the electric company
pay their bill?

[woman] Fun city, my foot.

[man 4] Face it, the big apple's rotten.

The master control.

Good afternoon, gentlemen.

Look, no time for trick or treaters, pal.

Just a minute. You're the real article.

Recognize him? Spider-Man!

Need a hand, guys?

What we need is a bulldozer.

All the trains are stuck.

[Spider-Man] Hmm,
if that one car was moved,

then all the others could move.

Sure, but how do we move it?

I thought you'd never ask.

Hey, where you going?

No place special.
Just got me a train to move.

So, my little subway game
was spoiled by Spider-Man.

Well, it's time to play my trump card.

First, to stash the goodies.

Once again, the mad,
mysterious force has struck.

Whoever's behind these bizarre crimes

is able to control
anything with an engine.

The mysterious Spider-Man seems to be
connected with at least two of the crimes.

Ah, as far as I'm concerned,
Spider-Man is behind these crimes.

- Do you think that's fair, Jonah?
- Fair? Don't give me fair.

I'm out over a million
for my charity. I want it back!

And I want Spider-Man in jail,
where he belongs.

I think Robbie's right, J.J.

Who asked Robbie? And where have you been?

I was stuck in a subway.

Ah, I've had it with excuses.

I want to know who's behind these crimes!

Wonder if that might be your answer.

"Will trade all loot for Spider-Man,

tomorrow, noon, Herald Square.
Professor Gizmo."

[together] Professor Gizmo?

Ah, somebody's pulling our leg.

Guess again.

[Jameson] Well,
that's Lindy's plane all right.

But how do we now Gizmo
will really give the loot back?

It's obvious. He and Spider-Man
are in this together.

But if they're not, tomorrow,

Spider-Man will be taking
a terrific risk just showing up.

Two minutes to 12:00.
Where's Spider-Man, and where's Parker?

Parker's out taking pictures, chief.

Haven't seen... Hold it. Look.

The insect.

OK, chuckles, here I am.

I'll make the trade,

but not until I'm sure
the stolen goods are returned.

Gosh, Mr. Jameson! I didn't know there
was a Spider-Man balloon in this parade.

What Spider-Man balloon?

Holy mackerel!

Gee, that is the nicest thing
anyone ever did for me.

It's a paralyzing gas,

but my mask must be acting like a filter.

Oh, no, my balloon!

[laughing] I've got you, Spider-Man.

I knew you'd be caught up
in your own image.

This is one ego trip you'll never forget.

OK, OK, now tell me the bad news.

No way, Gizmo.

Me help you? Are you kidding?

All you have to do is dive
down to the el Conquistador

and attach this little transistor antenna.

My gizmo box will do the rest.

That's over a thousand feet.

What makes you think
I can stand the pressure?

Come, come, Spider-Man. Stop stalling.

We both know an ordinary spider
can go much deeper than man.

He creates his own diving bell
out of webbing.

With your spider power,
it will be no problem.

OK, but don't tell me
your little gizmo box

can lift the ship from way down there.

I'll prove it.

I used to work with the famous scientist

Richard Robbins himself,
that rotten thief.

He took dozens of my brilliant inventions.

One night, we were working late

in the lab on this very...

It's time to test the box.

We'll use this obsolete robot.

Ah, my dear, faithful, Gizmo,

this day I become
the most famous inventor in history.

And you'll always have my gratitude.

Wrong, Dickie boy!

My turn.

No, Gizmo, no!

[screaming]

He's safe, somewhere.

I'll return the loot
and you'll help me, Spider-Man.

And the box will work.

We're on our way right now.

We drop anchor here, Spider-Man.

And you start your descent to my fortune.

I told you, no deal until I have proof
you returned the goods.

Would you believe it if J. Jonah Jameson

tells you it's been returned?

Well, he's no George Washington,
but try me.

J. Jonah Jameson here, president
of Jameson Television Network.

This is an on the spot report
of the raising

of the el Conquistador by Professor Gizmo

and his notorious assistant, Spider-Man.

You're seeing the world famous
Spirit of St. Louis

returning to the Smithsonian.

Earlier, the diamonds were returned,

all so that Spider-Man would aid
this legal salvage operation.

But I'm betting both those crooks

were in it from the beginning.

There you have it, Spider-Man.

I've kept my end of the deal,
now it's your turn.

And... [chuckles] remember,
all the world is watching.

Yeesh, I ought to have my head examined.

Prepare for descent.

Our cameras are watching
Spider-Man create a diving bell,

the type only spiders make.

Now he's attaching
a lifeline web to Gizmo's equipment.

Let's get it over with.

I might as well get some shots
while I'm down here.

[Jameson] A remote camera is following.

Spider-Man's actions below the sea.

[Gizmo] You're now
at 800 feet, Spider-Man.

Do you see the cave?

Yeah, there it is.

But something's moving.

Uh-oh, an octopus, and a big one.

Just my luck.
He thinks I'm his girlfriend.

Got to get out of this!

It's nice that you love me,
but this is ridiculous.

Hope this does it.

Got to get back to the bubble for air.

[coughing]

Close.

[Gizmo] You're now at the ship's stern.

Attach the transistor transmitter.

I here you talking.

Oh, no, more trouble.

Lost half my oxygen.

Even with spider powers,
the pressure down here is getting to me.

That does it.

OK, Gizmo, back to the ranch.

I'm activating the ship now.

But you'll have to guide it out.
Grab hold of the rudder.

[Spider-Man] Come on,
come on, take it on up!

Spider-Man, you didn't really think

I was going to give
the government half a billion.

Thank you for your help, web-slinger.

I don't need you anymore.

[Jameson] He's cut Spider-Man loose!

I expected some kind of double-cross,

but why did it have to be on television?

Good thing I'm not bashful.

[gasping] Air's running out and...

Oh, I haven't got enough troubles.

I'm an accessory to the theft
of the century, and now bait for Jaws III.

Take a look at this, folks.

A great white shark is heading
directly towards Spider-Man.

No, wait! It's heading toward
our television cameras!

We've lost the underwater camera.

My gosh, a video appetite,

and he's still hungry.

It worked.

He's powerful, but dumb.

Spidey on the half shell? No, thanks.

Webbing, do your stuff.

Running out of air.

Just keep heading that-a-way, baby.

That's it. Go after the big,
delicious boat.

Close enough. Here's where
I get off, big fella.

Hope this works.

A gizmo for the Gizmo.

I've done it.

I've raised the largest
sunken treasure in the world.

It's mine, all mine.

[Jameson] Amazing, fantastic!

The Spanish ship has surfaced,

and Gizmo has claimed it as his own.

But where's Spider-Man?

[coughing] Made it, and there's Gizmo.

He jumped on the el Conquistador.

Just as I planned it.

If I don't make like a fish, I'll be next.

[Jameson] Quick, follow that gold!

In a submarine, J. J., maybe.

In a helicopter, no way.

[Jameson] Then, then follow that shark.

Here goes Spidey down the drain.

J.J., we can't leave Spider-Man behind.

Why not?

He's being pulled under by the whirlpool.

J.J., you saving Spider-Man's life.

Think what a story that will make.

Don't hold your breath.

[coughing]

Ha, he's going under again!

Boss, you're on TV.

Live, now!

Risking our own lives,

we're descending to save
that poor criminal's life.

[chuckles] This makes me a hero.

Closer, closer!

I can't believe it, but I'll force myself.

Say, this is worth everything.

Get a shot of this, Robbie.

I'm a hero!

Got the camera all set, Jonah.

Do I have to... touch him?

Say, not bad, Robbie.

[scoffs] Better than you, Parker.

Uh, sorry I wasn't around, J.J.
But I promise you one thing.

I'll be there the next time
you save Spider-Man's life.

Yeah, you'd better be. What?

The next time? The next time?

[laughing]

The next time, I'll drop him!

[theme music playing]