01x14 - The Hunter and the Hunted

[bunniefuu]

[theme music playing]

[narrator] Spider-Man.

[thunder rumbling]

[meows]

[clacking]

[thunder rumbling]

[inaudible]

[roars]

[narrator] Spider-Man.

[Spider-Man] Nothing much happening today.

Maybe I should drop in here at the Bugle

and web Jolly Jonah to his chair.

[Jameson] I don't care
what you think, Robertson.

As publisher of the Daily Bugle,

I decide how we spend our money.

But, Jonah, into the pockets
of Kraven the Hunter?

Isn't he what's commonly known
as a super-villain?

Villain, schmillain.

Kraven's the best hunter
in the whole blamed world.

That's why I hired him.

Hey, not that I want to put
my webbed foot in on anything,

but hiring a creep like Kraven
spells trouble

with a capital "K."

[groans] The wall crawler.

Get away from here,
or I'll call the exterminator!

- I'm fed up with your snooping...
- [Spider-Man] Hmm,

sometimes I get the feeling

old Jameson doesn't particularly like me.

Oh, well, I can sense
where I'm not wanted.

Kraven's the only man on earth

who can hunt down our new mascot,

a creature that will bring this newspaper

millions of dollars in publicity,

the last living saber-toothed tiger.

But, Jonah, isn't that tiger Zabu,

the companion of the jungle lord Ka-Zar?

You mean the wild man from the jungle?

That's the one.

You may be asking
for a lot of trouble, J.J.

Kraven can handle it.

Right now he's somewhere down here,

in the arctic region of the South Pole,

It's an area protected
from the outside world

by a wall of volcanic mountains,

a tropical lost jungle
called the Savage Land.

Enjoy your meal, Saber-tooth.

It'll be your last in the Savage Land.

And while you eat,

I'll mix a new batch of my mystic potion,

the secret herbs that give me
my secret jungle power.

Ah, the power to stop a charging rhino

and the speed to outrun
the swiftest panther.

[tiger snarling]

You're a worthy foe, Saber-tooth,

but if I'm to earn my fee,

you must be vanquished now.

[snarling]

A little tranquilizer gas to quiet you,

and my mechanical cage to hold you,

should you try to escape.

[electricity crackles]

[laughing]

[bellowing]

Do not struggle.

Try to swing with the tar.

Be thankful I didn't bring Zabu along.

He might've had you for his dinner,

just when you are needed at home.

And now, I must return to my own family,

my blood brother Zabu.

Zabu, where are you?

[sniffing]

- A hunter, a struggle...
- [engine whirring]

Our bond is strong, old friend.

Where you go, Ka-Zar follows.

[Pterosaur squawking]

Take me as far as you can, Thunder-Wing,

to the farthest reaches of the jungle.

I still feel uneasy about
this whole thing, Mr. Jameson,

especially with Kraven
the Hunter involved.

So do I, Mr. Jameson.

If you two don't keep quiet,
you'll feel even more uneasy

waiting in the unemployment line.

Ah, there comes Kraven, right on schedule.

And here's the second half
of your fee, Mr. Kraven,

as we agreed, paid on delivery.

That's enough to cover
your taking care of the beast

until I figure out
exactly how to make use of him.

[chuckles] Imagine me,
the humble publisher of the Daily Bugle,

the owner of the only living
saber-toothed tiger.

[chuckles] Mr. Kraven, you're incredible.

Remember that, Mr. Jameson,

and never forget it.

[growling]

Some hunter!
Has to use an electrified cage.

I hope that chain is... Uh-oh.

Peter, the chain's breaking! Peter?

All right, partner,
get a shot for posterity,

and don't forget
to take off your lens cap.

Parker? Parker, where are you, Parker?

This little kitty won't bite you.

Where the devil is he?

[creaking]

[chain snaps]

[tiger snarling]

Come on, Betty. This is a job for Kraven.

Yes, see the tiger fall

to the man with the strength
of a bull gorilla.

Or would you believe
the proportionate strength

of an itsy-bitsy spider?

The web crawler.

That human bug? Here?

If anyone starts singing
"Hold that tiger," I'll...

Uh-oh, my eyes itch.

[sniffles] Feels like I'm going to...

[sneezes]

Just my luck,
I'm allergic to saber-toothed tigers.

[snarling]

Mr. Kraven, do something.

[laughing] I am.

I'm enjoying the show.

[laughs] Me, too.

That web head is showing his true colors.

And they're all yellow. [Laughing]

Why can't I just be allergic
to ragweed like everyone else?

You could've at least said gesundheit.

[tiger snarling]

You suppose it's safe now?

Well, they say Spidey's web
can hold just about anything.

[Jameson yells]

[Peter] I got it!

Ought to be a swell shot, J. J.

[grumbles]

Hmm.

Well, we ought to be landing in New York

in just a few more minutes.

Hey, come on back to the cargo section.

[chuckles] We've got ourselves
a little surprise here.

See?

A stowaway.

Well, we know how to deal with stowaways.

- Hey!
- Oh, no. Hey!

[Ka-Zar] Nothing,
not even these polluted city skies

will keep me from finding Zabu.

Hey, what's going on?

Nothing unusual,

just your standard colossal traffic jam.

More than that.

Something's making my spider sense tingle.

Uh-oh, Betty, I have tissues.

Gotta get some more. Quick.

What?

[horns honking]

[chuckles] If that's a surfer,

somebody ought to tell him
Malibu's on the other coast.

[woman giggles] But I really dig his hair.

[man] Scram, nature boy!

You're holding up traffic!

What is that?

So I said to Ethel, "Ethel," I said...

[screams]

Why, you, you...

Huh? [Grunts]

Brave animals are not for decoration.

[groans]

[horns honking]

Zabu, where are you, blood brother?

Hey! Watch where you're going!

[tires screech]

[truck crashes]

- [screeches]
- Hey, man!

Zabu! Zabu!

Hey, you wanna rumble, nature boy?

You almost totalled my hog.

None may seize the arm of Ka-Zar.

Hold it right there, wild man!

We're taking you in,

and you can kick out any tires you like.

No, you'll not cage me like an animal.

What are we chasing, a chimpanzee?

It's Ka-Zar.

[policeman] Hey, you nut, can't you read?

That old building's condemned!

It's going to be torn down!

I knew Jameson was buying trouble

when Kraven catnapped that saber-tooth.

[officer] Hey, look. It's Spider-Man.

Maybe they're in cahoots.

Keep this crowd back. Could be trouble.

Hey, Ka-Zar, where'd you go?

It's just me,
your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man.

So now even the famous Spider-Man

would keep me from my blood brother.

Hey, you got me all wrong, friend.

We shall see.

Ka-Zar is mightier
than any costume wearer.

OK, you're strong.

Now, can't we just
talk this over before...

[ground rumbles]

Uh, before...

Before the whole building
goes crashing... down!

If you're really the swinger
they say you are, Ka-Zar,

come on!

Geronimo!

In America,
this is what's called having a ball.

Uh-oh, let's not get blamed
for wrecking the building.

So I came after you,

to keep you from getting into trouble

here in the Big Apple.

Why should I get into trouble?

Those who stole my tiger friend Zabu,

they will get into trouble.

There. There is Zabu.

Hey, Jonah Jameson doesn't see
anybody without an appointment.

Better make sure he doesn't
get lost in the big city.

I'll plant one of my handy-dandy
spider traces on him.

[male newscaster] And this wild man,

now positively identified

as Ka-Zar of the Savage Land,

created panic in the streets of Manhattan.

Authorities urge all citizens to...

So the legendary Ka-Zar

has come to the concrete jungle.

And only you and I know why,

Zabu.

Yes, there is more money to be made

and more dangerous prey to hunt,

and you will be the bait, Zabu,

bait for my traps.

[growling]

[electricity crackling]

[growls]

Yes, I believe we're ready

for the most elusive game of all. [Laughs]

[Jameson] Don't you know you can't come

into a man's office

unannounced and undressed?

Get out! Get out before
I have you arrested for indecent exposure.

I am Ka-Zar,

and I have come for Zabu.

Zabu. Why, I didn't know
that big cat belonged to you.

Now, look, Mr. Ka-Zar.

Of course you'll have to prove ownership.

[gasps] Ow!

Hey, put me down!

No one owns Zabu.

- He is my companion, my blood brother.
- [phone ringing]

Uh, Jameson here.

This is Kraven the Hunter.

I have a proposition to make, Jameson.

It involves Ka-Zar.

Do you know who he is?

Uh, we've met.

Think of the publicity
you'll get, Jameson,

if I capture a legendary
jungle lord for you,

and I'll accomplish this feat

- at no charge.
- No charge?

Oh, Mr. Kraven,
I... I'll bring him right over.

Yeah.

That was Kraven? Who captured Zabu?

Ka-Zar, my boy,
I'll lead you right to him.

[Mortimer] [stammering] But, Uncle Jonah,
I don't even like animals.

Why didn't you bring Peter Parker instead?

Because last time Parker blew it,

and I need a reliable,

absolutely professional photographer

to get the pictures of Ka-Zar's capture,

Uh, Ka-Zar's reunion with Zabu.

[groans]

There it is, Kraven's lair,

paid for in part by Daily Bugle funds.

[Spider-Man] With that
spider tracer on Ka-Zar,

I can follow him from here to Timbuktu.

It's us, Mr. Kraven.

We're here with Ka-Zar.

We can still get home in time for dinner.

Not when there's work to be done.

Hey, there's nobody here.

Only my handy-dandy spider tracer.

Got to find them.

[imitating Jameson] Uh, Miss Bryant?

Where did I say I was going?

Why, to Kraven's lair, Mr. Jameson.

[normal voice] Thanks, sweetie.

So friends,

welcome to my little retreat.

Zabu.

As for you, Jameson, you pompous jackal,

you've really taken the bait.

Why, what are you...

Don't argue with him, Uncle Jonah.

Let's just get out of here.

Mortimer, come back here.

Mortimer!

[screaming]

Kraven, you're a real sicko.

Let's just say I want an audience

when I hunt down the savage Ka-Zar.

But what if Ka-Zar
captures you first, Hunter?

You disappoint me, jungle lord,

I'd hoped you'd be more of a challenge.

Zabu's here for sure.

[sneezing]

It's Spider-Man.

I'll hunt you down along with Ka-Zar!

I'll add that ridiculous mask of yours

to my trophy collection.

Hi, Kraven. [Sniffles]

Wouldn't have anything
for an allergy, would you?

[Kraven] Try my friend there.

If I can get you loose,

we'll sneak out of here

while Kraven takes care
of the wall crawler.

[Mortimer] OK, but hurry, Uncle.

Since it's hard to scratch
and sneeze and fight

all at the same time,

why fight? [Sniffles]

- [both whimpering and yelling]
- [Mortimer] Help! Help!

[together] Whoa!

[growling]

Yikes!

See you later, alligator.

Did I really say that?

I'm coming, Zabu.

[grunting]

OK, great hunter,

now it's just the two of us.

That's the way I prefer it, Spider-Man.

Bull's-eye.

Any more neato tricks, Kravy?

Only one.

[sneezing]

You know, maybe coming here
wasn't [sneezing]

such a great idea after all.

[Zabu growling]

[snarling]

Just a little more.

[grunts]

No, impossible.

Hate to disappoint you, pal.

What... what are you going to do to me?

Me? Nothing.

But Ka-Zar and Zabu,

they might have something in mind.

Right now, I'm more interested
in this Wurlitzer of yours.

There, that officially closes
Kraven Country Safari.

[growling]

I still have weapons in my belt.

[Ka-Zar] What?

No! No!

Please, don't leave me caged up, please.

No!

So Kraven the Hunter

is really Kraven the Coward.

Hey, savages aren't supposed
to speak that well.

Spiders aren't suppose to speak at all.

Will one of you clowns get us out of here?

[together] Say please.

Well, what good's
a saber-toothed tiger anyway.

You've seen one, you've seen 'em all.

Peter, isn't it odd?

Both you and Spider-Man

are allergic to saber-toothed tigers.

Yeah, and that's the only thing
they have in common.

[laughs]

Well, I guess that's better than nothing.

[sniffles]

[theme music playing]