02x13 - Hands of the Mandarin, Part 2

[bunniefuu]

NARRATOR:
In the previous episode of Iron Man...

The time has come
to save this much-maligned world

from the corrosive evils
of runaway technology.

My price?
Simply that the nations of the world

hand the unequivocal reins of power
over to me!

An undefined anti-technology field
is wreaking havoc in New York City.

Now I shall finally see
the face of my enemy.

Tony Stark?

The superhuman fuel I need
for the Heart of Darkness

is now within range.

w*r MACHINE:
Everyone, hold on to what you got!

This isn't looking pretty!

I...

lam...

I am Iron Man!

I am Iron Man!

I am Iron Man!

THE MANDARIN:
I don't suppose you prudently

installed airbags in that machine.

[TONY GROANS]

No? Just another of the many evils
of technology, Stark.

You manufacturers are always
so anxious to cut costs.

Hmm.

[CLUCKS TONGUE]

[SIGHS IN DESPAIR]

[CENTURY GRUNTING]

[PLANE CREAKING]

[SPIDER WOMAN GASPS]

- Where is Rhodey?
-HAWKEYE: Jim couldn'tjump free.

We didn't always see eye to eye,
but Rhodey was good people.

I bet you we could have been
better friends, but I...

w*r MACHINE:
But you what, Hawkeye?

Come on, come on,
you were sounding downright poetic.

ALL: Rhodey!

Who said I was talking
about you, anyhow,

you aluminum-sided egomaniac?

[WIND WHOOSHING]

The Farmer's Almanac didn't say
nothing about it being typhoon season!

[SCREAMING]

If I can redirect the wind...

This ought to wind things up nicely.

WHIRLWIND: What gives?

[CHUCKLING]

Enough of this paltry diversion.

[ALL SCREAMING]

[ALL GROAN]

The Heart of Darkness.

[THE MANDARIN LAUGHING]

[SIGHS]

No.

[w*r MACHINE PANTING]

Guess Mandarin lost track of me
in the head count.

Well, he's gonna have to brush up
on his math,

because I aim to go down fighting,
armor or no armor.

[MODOK PANTING]

Stupid anti-technology field.

Ah.

Don't worry about the induced
paralysis, prettiest of ladies.

Why, compared to our minds,

the body is merely
a fleeting, vulnerable vehicle.

You're dawdling, Modok!

[MODOK SHRIEKS]

If you want something done right...

Huh?

RhOdey!

[SHUSHING]

THE MANDARIN: Sadly, you won't have
the ultimate honor

of giving your life
for Mandarin Khan's empire.

Only your life force,

as your extraordinary bodies feed
my Heart of Darkness

the power it requires.

[TONY BREATHING HEAVILY]

Wait here.
I'll try and spring the rest of the crew.

No. We have to get out of the citadel.

What, abandon everyone?
Listen, man...

It's not at the top of my list either, pal.

But look, my life support's fading
and your armor's teched out.

What are we going to do,

crawl up to Mandarin
and bite his ankles?

You got a point.

We're helpless unless you get me
to Stark Enterprises, Hong Kong.

Hawkeye, old buddy, old pal,
I sure hope that's you.

Sorry to disappoint, Mr. Rhodes,

but your days of hoping are over.

[CHUCKLING]

You really mustn't leave so soon.
Oh, no, no, no.

[COUGHING]

Hey, cover your mouth, will you?

Look at yourself, Modok.

In Mandarin's anti-technology field,
you're even worse off than me.

It is only a temporary measure.

Mandarin assures me
he will reverse the field

when our goals are accomplished.

Uh-huh. Kind of old to be believing
in fairy tales, ain't you?

Pop quiz, Modok.

What's more important to Mandarin?
Conquering the Earth...

Or preserving his semi-mechanical
lapdog's precious life-support system?

Think about it, Wheezy!

[STUTTERS]

You help us out of here, we'll see to it

you get the energy you need
to live and sleaze another day. Deal?

[SIGHS]

Deal.

There, now, my metal-clad adversary,
installation complete...

Where is he?

Find Iron Man
and bring him to me! Now!

We must stay close to the cliff wall.
The Crystal's vision is less sharp there.

But you shall have to carry me,
because it is...

Hey! I said you have to carry me!

[PANTING] We said we'd help you,
not adopt you!

Now, you just keep your mouth shut.
We'll be back soon.

TONY: And unlike your lord and master,
our word means something.

MODOK: Oh, Mandarin, my Mandarin.

Do you see what betrayal
you drive me to?

[TONY AND JIM PANTING]

[HORSES NEIGHING]

What? Did you order pony rides
for our little field trip, partner?

TONY: Mountain bandits.

[TONY SIGHS]

Don't you just hate this line of work?

[BANDITS YELLING]

Come on!

Old What-Century-Is-This-Anyway
can't follow us.

[PANTING HARD]

- Rhodey, I can't run anymore.
-Come on, come on, hustle, pal, don't...

What? Oh, baby, come to papa!

Cowabunga!

"Cowabunga"?

w*r MACHINE: Hey, best I could do
on such short notice.

- JIM: Is Tony gonna make it, Su-Yin?
-It depends.

On what?

Tony and I have recently completed
years of collaboration,

on a prototype
of a bioenergy microprocessor.

- Bioenergy?
-We haven't tested it outside the lab,

but if it works,
not only should it restore him fully,

but its DNA-based circuitry

would not be affected by Mandarin's
anti-technology field.

Wait a minute, you say "if" it works.
What if it doesn't?

Yeah.

WHIRLWIND: [STAMMERING]
We checked everywhere.

He's not in the citadel.

So my enemy has escaped,
or thinks he has.

[CHUCKLES]

The now-extended range
of my anti-technology field

shall now reach out and ensure the
permanent failure of your life support,

wherever you are!

Power! Mandarin be thy only name!

In minutes, Hong Kong,
Asia's mightiest technological dragon,

will be but a purring pussycat
in my lap!

[MODOK COUGHS]

Mandarin! O great Khan!
I'm sure I needn't remind you,

but without external power,
I will surely perish.

Look upon my work,
dear doomed Modok.

Hong Kong and all of China
are already mine, and...

Hmm.

[CHUCKLING]

But why stop at China
when I can have the world?

[STAMMERING] Mandarin?
What's up, boss?

[PEOPLE SHOUTING]

Oh, man, lights are coming down.
Go, lady, go!

I am trying. But the DNA-based circuitry
is in a state of stasis

and needs this infusion of infrared heat
in order to activate.

No! Not now! We were so close!



[BEEPING]

The heat! It's stimulating the
bioprocessors, jump-starting my armor!

My helmet, quick!

JIM: It's about time, Mr. Wizard.

IRON MAN: I have to get back
to the citadel, Rhodey.

I'd take you with me, but...

JIM: You don't have to explain, pal.
I'll catch up.

This Heart of Darkness, Tony.
I don't know how you defeat it.

But there is a time-honored
Eastern martial arts principle.

"To overcome your enemy,
turn his own energy back on itself."

IRON MAN: Catchy saying, but how?

By using a time-honored
Western principle.

Improvise.

And now, my loyal minions,

you shall serve your master
as you have never served him before!

With the increased power
you all now provide,

my anti-technology field
shall sweep the entire planet.

Nations shall stand unprotected,
as I take them over one by one.

[CHUCKLING]

Sayonara, Asia. G'day, Australia.

They're dropping like flies.

IRON MAN: And you know what flies are
attracted to, don't you, Mandarin?

So, Iron Man, you survived,

and now have even managed to pierce
my anti-technology field.

But how? Oh, it doesn't matter.
I'll just find out during the dissection.

Your puny weaponry
is ineffectual against me, Iron Man.

The power of the Heart fills me with a
strength beyond your comprehension.

I shall defeat you
with one pinkie's worth.

SU-YIN: To defeat your enemy,
turn his energy back on itself.

[IRON MAN GROANING]

No!

[GROANS]

- What happened?
-lRON MAN: The throne shorted out.

- Good thing, too. I need your help.
-Whoa!

This machine messed up my mind
or something.

Usually you'd grab the spotlight
for yourself.

You dare to disconnect
one of my batteries?

IRON MAN: Let's make a deal.

You take the blasts
from Mandarin's mood rings

and the spotlight is all yours.

Tony?

Two fingers this time.

And now, let's see
what five little piggies can do.

IRON MAN: Over here,
you manicurist's nightmare.

Hey, Mandarin!

[WHISTLES]

[LAUGHS] You love me, too?

[GRUNTING]

The feeling is mucilage.

IRON MAN: Okay,
what's the plan? Hawk?

You're asking me?

Okay, for starters, keep your head
down. You're no good to us fried.

Next...

IRON MAN: Here's a better idea.
We improvise.

Wanda, come with me.
Cover us, Hawk!

But...

I blink and the Tin Man's
back in charge.

IRON MAN: Okay, Su-Yin.

Let's trot out that "use his energy
against itself" song and dance

and kick out the jams.

You have meddled
with the primordial forces,

and for that you shall pay!

No!

[GRUNTS]

[THE MANDARIN SCREAMS]

My rings!

[TRAFFIC POLICE BLOWING
WHISTLE]

[GIGGLES EXCITEDLY]

CENTURY: The Heart of Darkness
is no more. The planet is safe.

Ah.

I'm back! Mandarin! I'm back!
Once more we can be a...

Mandarin?

- Why have you deserted me?
-IRON MAN: I don't get it, Modok.

He treats you like dirt,
and you still stick around.

I can't help it.
Mandarin makes me laugh.

- I like him.
-So do I, behind bars.

[THE MANDARIN CHUCKLES EVILLY]

THE MANDARIN:
The Heart of Darkness

and several of my rings may be gone,

but I still have power enough
to defeat you.

IRON MAN: Well, well, well!
Mr. Anti-technology

sporting this year's line of Exo-Armor.

Hypocrisy, anyone?

I may be anti-technology,
but I'm not a fanatic.

[IRON MAN GROWLS]

One of the pitfalls of technology, Stark.

There's always someone
with a better mousetrap.

[THE MANDARIN LAUGHS]

IRON MAN: Here's another pitfall
of technology, Mandarin.

Sometimes you just blow a fuse!

No!

Old "I want to conquer the
world" must have hooked his ring power

into his Exo-Armor circuitry. Bad move!

[SIGHS IN RELIEF]

Looks like Mandarin atomized
his little old self.

It's a good thing, because
this tin soldier's running on empty.

[GASPING]

THE MANDARIN: Who am I?

I remember nothing!

Friends, I need your help.

[BANDIT LEADER CHUCKLES]

Take the rings! Take them!

[BLADE ch*nk]

[GASPS] No!

[THE MANDARIN SCREAMS
IN THE DISTANCE]

[CHUCKLES]
Looks like Mandarin blew a fuse.

IRON MAN: Just like old times, huh?
You and me, and Force Works.

Yeah, well, it's a strange concept
called teamwork.

IRON MAN: Sometimes I forget
I'm not the only superhero in town,

that I don't have to do it all alone.

Sometimes your best partners
are right under your nose, Tony.

All you have to do
is reach out and kiss someone.

Oh, Jeez. Hope I don't get a
terminal case of the warm fuzzies.

JIM: Hey! What's with the plane?
You mean the power's back on?

You mean I could have taken a nice,
air-conditioned cab?

[JIM GROANS]

All the way from Hong Kong!

You guys got any idea what kind of
butt-rattling potholes this road has?

[TONY CHUCKLES]

It's along, bumpy road for all of us, pal.

With a whole lot of surprises and
a whole lot of rewards along the way.

I am Iron Man!

I am Iron Man!

'