01x21 - Atlantis Attacks

[bunniefuu]

I hate rain. It's so...

So wet.

I mean, seriously.
Water falling from the sky?

Who came up with that?

[IMITATING CRYING]

Poor little Matchstick.

Are the mean old raindrops scaring you?

Ain't you got nothing to do inside?

I do now.

[GROANS]

Okay. I'm gonna cut you some slack
'cause you're stuck inside, but...

Last warning. Quit while you're...

All right, flame brain, that's it.

I don't need clothes to clobber you!

Ben, Johnny, knock it off!

[RUMBLING]

I need a vacation.

I just want to assure you all

that this has absolutely nothing to do
with the experimental expl*sives

I've been inventing in the lab.

You're doing what?

HERBIE:
Dr. Richards? We're having a visitor.

- Namor!
- Someone else to fight!

[GROANS]

Dude, all we had to do was look
at him, and he fainted!

- Yeah! Give it up!
- Hey!

BEN: Yo, Subby, time for breakfast.
Do you want pellets or flakes?

- 'Cause we got you both.
- Here, fishy, fishy.

More flakes! Come and get the num-nums!

Namor's physiology is quite fascinating.

He had critical wounds
and recovered in a matter of hours.

Thick-skinned and thick-headed.

Still, Namor is so powerful.

It makes you wonder what could have
done that to him.

Wait, if I'm here and you're here,

- who's with Namor?
- Ben and Johnny volunteered

- so I could run some data in the lab.
- Are you serious?

NAMOR: Imperious Rex!

- He started it.
- He started it.

You dare to mock the king of Atlantis!

Namor, I'm sure Ben and Johnny
didn't mean to mock you.

Actually, they probably did, but...

Is this really why you came here, Namor?
To fight with us?

No.

So, I'm thinking you wanted the pellets.

- BEN: Guess so.
- Okay, so what happened?

Why are you here?

I come to deliver a dire warning.

The kingdom of Atlantis
has been overthrown.

What, by an octopus or something?

By my own army.

Yes.

The Atlantean army betrayed their king,

but they were not acting alone.

They had been turned against me
by a powerful barbarian,

an enemy of Atlantis.

Attuma.

So, why'd you come here?

He came for help!
Mr. Imperious Rex needs our help!

Namor needs no one.

Okay.

I merely came to warn you.

Attuma turned my army against me

by promising an invasion
of the surface world,

specifically, of your city.

I shouldn't have wasted my time.

Namor, we would be glad to help.

I mean, it would be a great help to us if
you would accompany us to Atlantis,

so we can better understand this threat.

We need you.

Well, you know what I...

Yeah...

Very well.

For your sakes, I will accompany you.

[MUFFLED CHATTER]

Accompany us? Wait, you don't...

You're not serious!

Atlantis is underwater!

- No, there's no way I'm going.
- What's the matter, Storm?

Surely you're not afraid of water.

No, fish guy, I am not.

It's just that I have...
I have stuff. I have things to do!

[LAUGHING]

You know, important... I got people to...

I have to stay, yeah, I have to stay behind
in case the city gets attacked.

Nice save, you big wimp.

Bye! Have fun!

Don't worry about a thing.
I've got this handled.

Chumps.

I'm not looking.

Not looking. It's not real if I don't look.

Nuts!

BEN: So, Namor, I know this Attuma guy
sounds pretty tough and all,

but, I mean, the Atlantean Army?

What are we talking here?
Maybe 20, 30 little fish guys

with spears and nets?

That's a lot of fish guys.

Attuma is clearly amassing the army
for invasion.

There would be nothing
that could stop them.

So, does anyone have a plan?

- We attack!
- SUZY: Whoa, whoa, no, no, no.

- REED: Stop, Namor.
- What?

REED: Hold on.
SUZY: Namor, there are thousands of them.

SUZY: Four of us.
"We attack"may not be the best plan.

These soldiers must learn
the consequences of their betrayal.

REED: Perhaps a more subtle approach
might be better in this instance.

If we confront Attuma directly
and take back control of your throne,

the army might stand down.

- We can just slip inside.
- Slip inside?

Tell me Susan.
Is Richards always such a coward?

How on earth did you become the ruler
of Atlantis without simple common sense?

Wait, I forgot. You're not the ruler
of Atlantis anymore, are you?

- How dare you?
- Here we go.

Honestly, they're as bad as
you and Johnny.

Whatever, me and the kid
would have already broken something.

I should have stayed home.

Susan, what have you done?
I demand you make me visible.

If only we could make you be quiet.

I don't need to see my hands
to crush you, Richards!

REED: Imbecile!
NAMOR: Weakling!

[JOHNNY GROANING]

[LAUGHS]

Keep moving, keep moving.
Nothing to see here.

No big monster destroying everything.

Nothing to worry about.

Will you move that thing?
You're blocking traffic!

Man, you never notice
millions of people around

until a giant whale comes
and tries to step on them all.

Torch, I think the monster
is doing yoga or something.

Come on!

That's just not fair! Now I have to fight it!

[PEOPLE CHEERING]

Please, please! No need to thank me!

I'm just doing...

Gross!

[COUGHING AND SPLUTTERING]

I got whale spit in my mouth!

Now I got your attention, Moby!

On second thought,
probably not my best idea.

That's right, run, you weaklings.

Run! Attuma rules Atlantis now!

Mother! Mother! Where are you?

Where do you think you're going, boy?

You'll make a good sl*ve.

What?

No barbarian will ever touch a child
of Atlantis as long as Namor lives!

Imperious Rex!

REED: It looks like the stealth portion
of this mission is over.

Still better than fighting an army!

Night night!

My guy went through the wall.

I weakened it for you.

Lord Namor, I knew you would return!
The barbarians...

Fear not, child.
They won't bother you anymore.

Go, find your family and get to safety.

Now, let us go crush Attuma into dust.

You big softy.

- Attuma, you have much to answer for.
- Welcome back, Namor.

Back to my kingdom.

- Arrogant cur!
- Namor, control yourself.

- This is obviously a trap.
- Richards, you coward.

Attuma is a barbarian, not a strategist.

He knows only combat, not traps.

[LAUGHING EVILLY]

And you call me arrogant?

You would be wise to heed
the human's advice, Namor.

For I anticipated your arrival
and made preparations.

Namor, you might want to check into

that whole common sense thing
I mentioned.

[JOHNNY GROANS]

HERBIE:
Hi, Jonathan, how is your day going?

Pretty good.

Except for the massive,
mutated whale that's chasing me

and is about to tear down
the Baxter Building.

And probably eat you.

What?

[HERBIE SCREAMS]

- What are we going to do?
- We?

How about this? You distract him,
and I'll come back in a bit to check on you.

Wait! Really?

Wait, stop!

I'm supposed to distract you!

I hate this. I hate this.
I hate this. I hate this.

Water!

Okay.

This time for real.

One, two, three!

I got you, Suzy.

Come here.

[LAUGHING]

That's not what I meant!

[LAUGHING EVILLY]

How typical that you went crawling
to the surface-dwellers for help.

Your weakness is why
I should rule Atlantis.

Namor needs no one!

Especially not to defeat
a barbarian like you!

I may be a barbarian, Namor,

but this is a battle I have already won.

You hide behind my people.

- Have you no honor?
- No.

Surrender.

Namor does not fight alone, Attuma.

Yes, the surface-world heroes.
I was prepared for you as well.

I now control the Horn of Proteus.

Even as we speak,
your city is being destroyed

by Namor's own monster.

- Johnny!
- So, you have a choice.

Help Namor, or save your city.

We don't abandon those in need.

Ever.

Susan, take them!

No. No!

And now, Attuma.

What have you done?

- Crud. We were doing so good, too.
- SUZY: Ben, Namor!

Atlantis will be mine, Namor,

and I will decorate the throne with your...

You wanna fight? Fight me!

This is bad!

Stay still, human.

Everyone, hold on. We've got to...

There you guys are!

You wouldn't believe
what I've been going through.

I'll take that, thank you very much.

Attuma!

Reed! Reed, knock it off!

It's an Atlantean thing, Reed Richards.

Well done, Johnny.

Leading the monster back down here
was brilliant.

You saved New York and Atlantis.

Bad dream. That's all this is.
It's a bad dream!

I'm not underwater.

There's no giant whale chewing on me!

This is not over!

I rule Atlantis now!

I will destroy you all!

Now, I normally go with
"Clobbering time,"

but your "Imperious" thing's pretty catchy.

- Go for it.
- Imperious Rex!

- Hail King Namor.
- You are the ruler forever.

- But what about the Atlantean Army?
- Richards was right.

Without Attuma's lies,
they will stand down.

Good.

Well, I'm sure you have a lot to do here,
so we'll head back to the surface.

You are no coward, Reed Richards.

You are an honorable ally,
and you have the respect of Atlantis.

Thank you for your help.

Well, good, I...

Hey, I hate to k*ll your little
love-fest here, but can we go home?

Like, now?