01x10 - Spider-Man Dis-Sabled

[bunniefuu]

And, therefore,

I have signed an executive order

remanding
to federal jurisdiction

all criminals
in New York prisons

considered to be a threat
to homeland security.

There you go. All right,
flash the bright whites.

Let us officially welcome
our distinguished guest

from the European Union...
Mr. Tremaine.

He's got his priorities
straight.

First come to New York.

Then visit the White House.
Ha-ha!

Why is he still standing?

They didn't circulate
like I expected.

Go to plan B.

Check. Meet you
at the rendezvous.

Holy crap!

Hey, what happened
to the two-minute warning?

Stop the car!

There's a b*mb
about to explode!

But...
Now.

Spider-Man, this
is ridiculous.

I saw him sweep the limo.

It's better than having parts of
you land all over Brooklyn.

Leave the keys.
I'll park it myself.

That was my favorite limo.

Hmm.

Uh, thanks again for helping me
get my foot in the door here.

Interesting, isn't it?

Always. Fast-paced,
never know what's gonna happen.

That's why I love
photojournalism.

No. I meant the way
you got that video.

Must've been a dozen news photogs
at that press conference,

and only one gets footage
of Spider-Man

taking off after
the mayor's limo.

Huh? Lucky, I guess.

No.
I don't think that's it.

It's your instinct,
a real nose for news.

Work with me, and we'll both
go to the top,

have our own news show maybe.

So maybe then it would
be okay if you and I...

Shh, shh, shh! Here comes
the stuff you shot.

Were you about to ask me out?

I'm pretty sure that's
where I was headed.

Then the answer is yes.

Oh! I love the way
this shot moves.

Right there.

I don't see anything.

Because the news editor
cut the tape.

I saw that kid with a camera
looking straight at me.

And thanks again

to ESU student Peter Parker

for that exclusive news video.

And now we know who he is.

Silver Sable, we got hired
to do a hit. Now, I think...

If I paid you to think,

I'd have already asked
for my money back.

Prove to me you're worthy.

Note to self:

Get someone tougher
than Buzzcut.

Try local Girl Scouts.

Tell me what you need.
I won't let you down.

Hah! I need that tape.

Find me this Peter Parker

before I lose
my friendly disposition.

Double P, what'll it be?

Peter Parker always gets.

Maximum Shock caffeine beverage
on ice.

You're a genius, Muang.

So, buddy. You aware
what today is?

Friday?

Yeah, but without
the question mark.

It's the end of the week,
playtime.

No studying tonight.

You don't study any night.

Hey, I'm trying
to change you, not me.

Well, actually,
I have plans tonight.

Plans?
What kind of plans?

Um... uh...

Petey, I don't care
if you go out with Indy.

How'd you know it's her?

It's written
all over your face.

I-N-D-Y.

Hey, I broke up with you too.

How come you never
write on my face?

Because Peter and I
were never really together.

We just settled into
the pals thing, right?

Absolutely.

In fact, we should
all be pals...

Indy too. Let's go out
for dinner.

Oh, please, please.

I'm dying to hear
what she sees in you.

Well, when you
put it that way...

I got an Oscorp board meeting.

Want to say 8, Murphy's?

Better yet, why say it?

Okay, how go plans
for the gala?

Excellent. I think Mr. Tremaine
will be very impressed.

I hope so.
Can't have him thinking

the White House
throws better parties.

Make sure it's stocked
with celebs...

movie stars, rappers,
news anchors... in that order.

On it, sir.

What did I do before you
joined my staff, Jane?

Good question, sir, as always.

Douse the light.

It's not here.

Hmm.

Hmm.

Well, well.

Look who's bumming a ride.

So I waited for the cops
to show.

They say there've been a lot
of burglaries in the area.

Are you all right?
Did you see them?

Did they touch
my billiard table?

Yes, no,

they were gonna sh**t
a game of eight ball,

but that's when I came in
and they escaped out the window.

Hmm.

So, Peter says you want
to be an on-air reporter.

You know, I almost majored
in journalism,

but then I decided
to focus on acting.

Get out! I minored
in theater arts.

You did?

Reporters, actors...

we both go through hair
and makeup, right?

Exactly.

Seeing them get along so well
is kind of scary.

Two women...
both into Peter.

If he plays his cards right...

nah.

You should come
by the station someday.

I'd love that.

Peter's a big hit there already,
right, Peter?

He's so good. They only use
a tenth of what he shoots.

Some of his best stuff
is probably...

still in his camera.

Are you thinking...?

Uh-huh.

Hello.
Non-Vulcans present.

Please speak out loud.

My tape of the mayor's limo.

If I caught something
incriminating...

That could be what your
apartment burglars were after.

But half the city's
seen that tape already.

No, not all of it.

Can you zoom in?

Maybe.
This software's pretty simple.

Doesn't compare to what you guys
probably have at Empire One.

Auto-sharpen, please.

Aye, aye, captain. Heh!

I can't be sure, but I think she was
one of the burglars I saw here.

Well, with a fright wig
like that,

she can't be hard to ID.

You are so right!

I'll log on
to the E1 mainframe.

They've got a whole
criminal database there.

Indy's fingers are the fastest.

I bet.

What?

And the winner is...

Silver Sablinovia...

better known
as "Silver Sable."

"Eastern-European
assassin for hire.

Seems to only k*ll
other criminals."

"Number three on Interpol's
most-wanted list."

Whatever she seems like,

she's obviously
trying to k*ll the mayor

and doesn't want
to get fingered.

She was after the tape!

And on that Hardy Boy note,

c*ck, anyone?

She could try again.

We've got to warn the mayor.

E1 reported that he's
already doubled security.

But I guess a call
to the newsroom wouldn't hurt.

What's that?

Slug I found in the wall.

Uh, by the way,
when I finish this,

I gotta run back to campus

to check on some lab results.

After-hours sale,

or just applying
the Winona Ryder discount?

Spider-Man.

Guess you don't know a girl
only likes being chased...

up to a point!

Ow!

Seriously, ow!

I wouldn't give them a reason.

They get so jealous when
another man pursues me.

The whole N.Y.P.D.'s
gonna be pursuing you.

You won't get to the mayor.

How'd you track me?

You have a thing for


highly ill*gal
and sold right here.

Oh, I forgot. You're not
a paying customer, are you?

My beef isn't
with you, Spider-Man.

You usually take on
righteous hits.

Why go after our mayor?

Things aren't what they seem.

Now, do you want to walk away,

or should they start sh**ting?

See you around!

Let him go.

He doesn't have a clue.

I thought the eight-legged
freak would never leave.

You get the tape?

No, but something
almost as good.

Hmm.

Parker?

He slipped away with the tape

before I could
round everyone up.

Don't worry.
He'll come running

when he hears his
friends are gonna die.

For once, you have
a plan that works.

Thank you for calling 911.

Your call is important to us.

Please continue to hold.

911 emergency.

This is an anonymous tip.

There's going to be another
attempt on the mayor's life.

May I have your name and the
address you're calling from?

If I told you that, it wouldn't
be anonymous, would it?

Hey, hi. Do you know where I can
find Indira Daimonji?

She said she'd be here.

Hi. Would you...?
Do you know...?

Things aren't what they seem.

Huh... the tape.

All right,

let's see
how the big boys do it.

Jane Perkins is Silver Sable!

But if she's been masquerading
as the mayor's aide,

she'd have had plenty
of chances to k*ll him.

She's after someone else!

Along with the mayor,

visiting European Union commissioner
Harlan Tremaine was saved.

Tremaine is to be honored
at a gala right here

in Manhattan tomorrow night.

911. Please hold.
There's a...

Is this the Peter Parker
who took the news video

of the mayor's limo?

Who is this?

Someone you don't want to meet.

I've already
been in your apartment.

In that case,
I know more than you think.

Your name is Silver Sable,

and you're after Tremaine.

As long as that remains
our little secret,

your friends keep breathing.

Where are they?
First, a warning.

If you're not where I tell you
to be in 10 minutes,

if the cops show up instead,

your little pals are landfill.

Central Park, West 65th.

911. Can I help you?

Hello?

Hello?

The mayor's assistant,
Jane Perkins,

she's gonna k*ll
Harlan Tremaine

at tonight's
European Union gala.

The mayor's not the target.
It's Tremaine.

- Target acquired!
- Move, move, move!

Plan B. Take those kids
with us as hostages.

I want to k*ll them myself.

Jane Perkins.
Where?

Help!

They could be right there.

You just had to play reporter

and look deeper at that
videotape.

Play reporter?
I am a reporter.

You've been on TV once.

At least I've been on TV.

Meow.

I am so sorry.
Good.

Time to move.

You argue, you die.

We were scared in there!

Nice shutdown.
Time to reboot.

You guys all right?

However, the threat
on the mayor's life

has just taken
a turn for the worse.

Not moments ago,
the mayor's bodyguard

was dumped unconscious
from his limo,

which has now broken away
from its escort

with the mayor, his aide,

and European Union commissioner
Harlan Tremaine inside.

An unidentified female
inside the vehicle

has warned police to stay back

or she will take action.

Guess you don't have time
for another interview.

Not this time.

Here we go again.

What do you want?

A paycheck, and, frankly,

I think I've earned it.

You, steer.

I know you're after Tremaine.

He's not who you think.

Tremaine's really an
international t*rror1st

known as "The Piranha."

Caught any other
big fish stories?

Tremaine was inserted into
political circles 10 years ago,

worked his way up to the
European Union post

precisely to get what's now
being handed to him...

access to
the president himself.

I've got all the evidence
on my Palm Pilot.

Now let me do my job!

Who do you work for?

Let's just say my benefactors

have the commander in chief's
best interests at heart.

Do your employers know

you're taking out
everyone in your path?

My orders are
"any means necessary."

Now do your country a service
and back off!

Huh!

Aah!

Déjà vu much?

Hi.

Thank you, again.

We have got to stop
meeting like this.

Sorry. He stays that way
until the cops get here.

Seems your friend here
was about to take

a new stand on terrorism, a bit
more controversial than yours.

It's all here
on this Palm Pilot.

Sorry you won't get a chance
to visit the White House.

Hmmph.

This is
un-freaking-believable!

Hey, life in the big city.

Spider-Man! Stay where you are!

Hey, Pete.
I was on my way to class,

but can I come in?

Um, sure. What's up?

I just wanted
to come to you first

before Indy said anything.

When we were tied up
in the van...

well, high-pressure
situation, you know.

I'm sure she understands.

Listen, this is
kind of a bad time.

Yes, it's a very bad time.

I'm trying to be
friends with you,

but there I was
getting jealous.

That's just not...

right.

Hey, M.J.

You wanted us all
to be friends, right?

Oh, my God.

Maybe I should go.

No, that's okay.

I was on my way out.

That color looks
really good on you.