01x08 - The Party

[bunniefuu]

Why are you doing this to me?

Why?

I know he didn't see us.

Are you sure he can't hear?

That's what the helmet's for.

Attention,
all Sigma Alpha Chi wannabes,

this is your one-way trip
to the Gamma Gamma Gamma

sorority nude beer bash.

Anybody interested?

I don't know who you are,
but I do not like this.

We'll leave him
in the Bronx somewhere.

We gotta teach these plebes
they're not Sig-A-Chi worthy.

Guys, I'm getting loseritis.

Sorry, Gary,
you're on geek duty.

Hey, it's a rented limo.

Gotta make sure he doesn't
wet the seat.

You shouldn't have done this.

I am so sick
of this sort of thing!

Whatever.

I can't... Unh! Ahh!

Doug,
he's squirming around back here.

He's not going anywhere.

Uhh!

Um... wrong.

Aah!

Oh...

When are people gonna learn?

It's New York.
Nothing beats the subway.

Max Dillon? Uhh!

Let's see. I'm backwards,
so turning left means...

Sorry.

Don't worry, buddy.

Uh... eh...

Where..oh...

What the...?

This is concrete!

You okay?

Uh... oh...

Any idea who did this to you?

Good afternoon,
ladies and gentlemen.

Let's knock
our brilliant heads together

and discuss alkoxymercuration.

Alkoxymercuration.

And, of course, I don't have to
tell you any of this

because you've all
read your chapters.

But alkoxymercuration involves
the addition of mercury.

Hot roof. Hot roof. Ow.

Mercury and an alkoxy
group to a double bond,

precedes via the formation of a
cyclic mercurinum ion,

usually by a solution of
mercuric acetate in an alcohol.

The alcohol attacks the more
highly substituted carbon.

We then follow this with a
sodium borohydride reduction.

Does anyone know
what the result of...

Ether?

Excuse me?

The result is ether,
Dr. Williams.

Yes, Mr. Parker.

The result is ether,

but that doesn't change
the fact

that I find lateness
completely unacceptable.

I apologize.

I...

overslept.

For a 3:00 class?

Um, I think I need a new alarm
clock actually.

All right, class,

please review your periodic
tables for tomorrow

and be prepared
to discuss oxidation.

Will you be joining us,
Mr. Parker?

Uh, yes, ma'am.

So I begged The Bugle
to give me an actual job,

not just the freelance stuff.

What'd they say?

They told me McDonald's
is hiring all shifts.

Dude,
all the fries you can eat.

You don't even need
to supersize.

Hey, guys.
Hey, M.J.

Wow, is that Harry Osborn
awake before 6 p.m.?

Yeah.
What's up with that?

Sigma party tonight.
You there?

There's a party?

Yeah, I'm there.
You?

Oh, yeah.
I'm definitely party-deprived.

There's a party?

Uh, hello?
What's the diff, Pete?

Every time anyone anywhere asks
you to do anything,

you're, like, unavailable.

Not always.

Uh-huh. Ok.

Hey, Pete, there's
a party tonight at the Sigmas.

Wanna come?

I gotta study.

How about if I come late?

He's not coming.

I'm serious.

He is so not coming.

Yeah, unless later means...

Never.
Never.

Hello?
I said I'm coming.

What am I, invisible?

Police are still
checking Spider-Man's involvement

in the runaway vehicle.

Gimme a break.

Just a little one, even.

Dude needs a publicist.

He does? I mean, yeah,
does he ever.

You... okay?

Depends on how you define okay.

Okay, for starters,
what happened to your face?

It appears
a young college student

from Empire State University
was trapped inside...

You were there?

That was me in the car.

Man, who would do that?

I don't know. I couldn't see or
hear on account of the duct tape

and stupid helmet over my head.

They nabbed me in the alley
right over there.

So I wouldn't be surprised if
it's some a-wipe on campus.

It's sure full of them.

You know, Peter...

sometimes
this whole college thing

feels like high school
all over again.

For once, I'd just like to...

I don't know,
not be a human piñata.

Yeah. Hey,
you know what they say:

college is just high school
with ashtrays.

Whoa, now there's a guy who
knows how to do cool...

Doug Reisman.

Max, come on. Don't.

Hey, uh... hey.

Yeah?

Uh, yeah, um...

Uh, Max. Max Dillon?

I'm pledging you guys.

Oh, I mean, um...

I'm hoping to pledge
into Sigma, you know?

It's rush week. Ha ha ha,
you know?

I mean, well, not now.

Well, Sigma's a great house.

You definitely ought to
give it a shot.

Well, yeah.
I was just, like,

like, you know,
saying hey and all that.

So, I'm sorry.
What was your name again?

Max. Max Dillon.
Max Dillon. Heh.

Max Dillon.

We're having
a little soiree tonight.

You should definitely come by.

What?
Sincerely.

Bring some food. A nice
casserole would be lovely.

Really?

No.

Eh heh-heh.
Uh, cool eh-heh.

I'll be there, man.
Uh, thanks.

Come on, Max.
Let's go.

I'm talking to people.

Is there a problem here?

Actually, I think the problem
was just starting to go away.

Looking a little too good there,
Peter.

Let's get out of here, Max.

Those guys aren't worth it.

Why? Because they wanted me
instead of you?

Just stay out of it, Peter.

Hey, Harry, 007 just called.

He wants his life back.

Osborn.

Harry Osborn.

Speaking of which,
Mr. Suave Bola,

I can't believe you're
in the same fraternity

as that loser Doug Reisman.

It's a time-honored
Osborn family tradition:

join an obnoxious fraternity,

learn the people skills
necessary

to take control of a
multi-national corporation,

start having martinis
every night before dinner.

That's a great story.
Can you tell it again?

Of course, I don't know what's
supposed to happen next,

on account of Spider-Man
murdering my father.

So... I just accelerated
the whole process.

Whatever.

You sure you don't wanna come to
the Sigma Alpha Chi party?

Yeah. That would be nice,

if I didn't blow it so bad in
Professor Williams' class today.

Well, suit yourself.
Oh, by the way,

M.J. and I have got
a little bet going.

I've got $25 riding on you
not showing up.

For some reason,
she believes in you.

Hey, bro, Doug.

Heh. Yeah, later. Ok.

Who's Mr. Lonely Dude?

That's Max Dillon.

He was in high school with us.

He was? Huh.

I guess he didn't
make a big impression.

He's harmless.

Max Dillon, you have been chosen
to enter the inner circle

of the
Sigma Brotherhood Council.

Follow me.

Max Dillon, surrounding you
is the sacred inner circle

of the Sigma Grand Council...

charged with the solemn
responsibility

of selecting those who shall
become our brothers for life.

Each has sworn an oath

to protect the ranks
of the Sigma Brotherhood.

Do you understand?

Yes, I understand.

Are you now ready
to receive their judgment?

I am.

Then we shall begin.

Brothers of Sigma Alpha Chi,

what say you to Max Dillon?

But, no. But I thought...

Commence the rejection ritual.

Sucks to be you.

Ow!

Hey!

Ow! Ah!

Max, what's wrong?

Are you okay?

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

I hope you all rot and die.

Max!

I'm so stupid!

Oh, God! I'm so stupid!

Ye-ah!

Aah!

Aah!

What the...?

This isn't studying.

It should be no big.

Why not just go to a party
like everyone else?

Just because I'm not like
everyone else?

I bet the X-men
get to go to parties.

Would the world, like,
come to an end

if Spider-Man
took one lousy night off?

Okay, you made your point.

What is that?

Not what...

Who!

Aah!

Eh!

Ah! Ah!

No! Please, stop!

Aah!

No. I didn't mean to.

You turned me into this!

Aah!

Sucks to be you.

I hate you all!

It's lights-out time,
static man.

Cute trick.

Where were you
when we had an energy crisis?

Not very civic-minded.

Stay out of my way.

Deal. Right after this.

Sorry.

Huh?

You are grounded.

No!

In more ways than one.

Aah!

You didn't think
I could be one of you.

You didn't think
I was good enough.

Let's see how you like
joining my club.

Excuse me?

Seriously... ow!

So, what's your deal, sparky?

Oh, my God. Max?

What's happened to you?

They don't know.
They don't understand.

Max, you can't do this
to innocent people!

No one is innocent!

No one!

Look who's got power now!

Max, it doesn't have
to be like this.

I know what it's like.

No...

you...

don't!

No-o-o-o!

Max!

Oh, yeah!

Idiots.

They have no idea
what he really is.

m*rder*r.

Harry, come on.

Come on.

Hands in the air!

I mean it, you mutant freak!

Hello? Good guy.
Saved your butt. Me.

On the ground, now!

That was your last warning!

Fire!

Police say they
are still seeking Spider-Man

for questioning
about the incident.

But campus sources tell this
reporter

that if it wasn't for
Spider-Man,

there would have been
a far greater loss of life.

I hope I never have to see
anything like that again.

If you could have
seen the hate in that...

that creature's eyes.

I must've just missed it.

Doug sure pissed off
a lot of folks,

but he didn't deserve
to get fried.

"Just missed it"?

You were there?

Uh-huh. I got there late,
like I said I would.

I couldn't find you guys.

He showed!

You owe me 25 bucks.

After all hell broke loose.

That doesn't count.

Whatever.

I'm just glad you two
got out of there in one piece.

They're starting to close up.

We'd better go.
Yeah.

You coming?

In a minute.

Ever wonder
what my life is like?

It's like this:

choosing the side of good

doesn't necessarily
make you a hero...

not with everyone.

On the other hand,
there are worse fates.

I just hope wherever Max is,
he's finally found some peace.