01x03 - Law of the Jungle

[bunniefuu]

Who says college
is all about cracking the books

and all-nighters
in the library?

We're really all here
to have fun, fun, fun.

Unfortunately,
when I say "we"...

I don't mean me.

Generally, I'm a single fun
kind of guy.

Maybe without
the exclamation point.

Parker...

What the hell are you doing?

Uh, nothing, sir.

I hope you're not thinking
you'd rather be out there

having mindless enjoyment
instead of helping me

rewrite the textbook
on cell regeneration.

No, sir.

I was just about to check
the regeneration rate.

You say it like
you're checking your e-mail.

Have I not made clear

the importance
of this experiment?

No, I get it, sir.

Reptilian DNA somehow
can program cells

to reconstruct
missing appendages.

Legs, skin...

the frilled lizard.

Attacked by a predator,
it'll leave its tail behind

so it can escape,
only to grow a new one later.

Interesting feature.

And?

And I suppose if man
could do that...

You're finally getting it.

What would someone like me
give to regenerate an arm?

An industrial accident

takes it away,

and an injection of hybrid DNA
brings it back.

Time to incrementalize
the enzyme reagent.

How's it holding?

Cellular regeneration
is at a rate of...

two the third power
every 10 seconds.

My God.

This is better than I expected.

Yeah, you know what?

I'm gonna need some time
to analyze these results.

Maybe you should go out
and have some fun after all.

We always work
till exactly 8:00.

Not tonight.

Well... good night, then.

Uh!

Hey, guys.

Hey!
You look familiar.

Harry, do we know this guy?

Hmm. I had a roommate once,
sort of his size,

but I didn't see his face much.

Dude was always working
or studying.

All right, cut it out.

Some of us have to earn
our mochaccino money.

So lose the studying.

Fine. So, what kind
of fun, fun, fun

are we having tonight?

Um, well, Harry was having me
look at his dad's will.

Yeah, and, uh, I was
checking out the view

of the Oscorp building

to see where
my dad's office is.

Do balloons
come with that package?

Okay, you got us.

Harry hasn't exactly
been all fun-lovingy today.

I wasn't going to mention it
if you didn't.

I figured you'd want to
take your mind off of it.

You remembered?

The anniversary
of your dad's death, tomorrow.

You remembered.

Harry was just asking

if we could help him
go through his dad's things

now that the estate is settled.

Hey, I'm sorry
to even ask, but...

Don't be.

So give the laptop a rest.

I'll buy you a mochaccino.

Oh, my God.
The laptop.

I forgot to give Doc Connors
tonight's readouts.

Like I said...

Hiya, doc.

Hey, you're
a little late tonight.

Usually, I could
set my watch by you.

How about if you
just take the truck?

Vermin, that's what you are.

Someone talking to you?

I was just offering
my observation.

Parasites have gotten
a bad rap,

when in fact,

they're a necessary part
of the animal ecosystem.

Vermin should be wiped out.

We'll see who gets wiped out.

Hi. Are you
the local welcome wagon?

I'm here to give you
a brush-up course in manners.

Whoa.

Okay...

We'll move right
to the advanced course.

What the...?

So Spider-Man's in cahoots
with street th*gs now.

Well, guess this one

didn't count on getting
double-crossed.

Didn't you hear me?
Spider-Man saved me.

Yeah... right.

As for that punk,

he should be strung up
till his eyeballs are pecked out

by genus strigiformes.

Owls.

I don't think
they actually like eyeballs.

Parker, I thought
I told you to go home.

I, uh, was, um, trying
to catch up with you

with the lab results.

You mean this kid
was there, too?

See anything, kid?

No.
It all happened so fast.

How do you know
how fast it happened

if you didn't see it?

Actually, I...

You kids.

You want your fancy clothes
and your MP5s,

but God forbid

you should stick
your neck out for anyone.

Three. It's "MP3."

Whatever.

See if you can jog your memory

in the next 24 hours.

I want to talk to you
down at the precinct.

Whoa. Nice place.

Sure beats a cubby
at the Empire U. Library.

I used to come here
all the time as a kid.

Why'd you stop?

Let me ask you something, Pete.

You ever see my dad
from age 14 till college?

Dad was pretty much working
around the clock.

The important thing is
you know he loved you.

Yeah.

I guess that's why he wanted
to protect all these photos

by keeping them
in the drawer here.

We'll help you, Harry.

Hey, going through this stuff,

it might be cathartic.

Fine, but promise
not to throw around

too many hundred-dollar words,
Mr. Cathartic.

Well...

shouldn't take more
than two or three days

if we all pitch in.

I can pitch,

long as I leave the game
in two hours.

A date with a cop.

Uh!

So I don't get it.

The doc sent you home,

but then you come
tra-la-laing back

just after we nab the perps.

Yeah. I was, um...

out looking for
a pay phone, actually.

Out looking for a pay phone?

To call for help.

Oh, right.

That's where I know you from,
Ripley's Believe It or Not.

You're the only 18-year-old
in Manhattan

without a cell phone
glued to his head.

What happened is...

um, my battery died.

Did you or did you not
see said perpetrators?

Stay here. The generator
will kick on in a second.

Officer in need of assistance.

Central booking corridor.

Uh!

There's two of them
headed for the roof!

Uh!

Uh!

On the ground! Now!

You're under arrest!

Amazing.

Lizard tail, lizard foot.

Spider-Man, lizard,
spider... cop.

Well, it's good to know

there's the occasional human
in your viewfinder.

This godforsaken town
is overrun with animals.

Actually, Spider-Man
is a... man.

Sort of.

Oh, goody.
He's a man.

So what's next?
The human rat?

I can think of a candidate.

Hey, I wonder if
that one's taken.

"The human rat.
Outlives entire civilizations.

Overruns whole cities at will."

Huh? Huh?
What do you think?

I'm not sure... Why the
hell am I asking you?

You're a photographer,
shutterbug.

An overpriced one at that.

I didn't even invoice these.

Miss Brant, get me an invoice
for Peter Parker, stat.

Four, five, six photos,


Make it 125 even.
But...

Save it. You're wasting time.

Go snap some shots.
Just remember,

this is a high-class newspaper,
not Animal Planet.

Huh.

Doc Connors.

Parker.

You canceled class.

You never cancel...
anything.

Stay back.

I thought your experiments
were promising.

Maybe we should continue.

Yes... on myself.

You sure you're all right?

Maybe I should get you
to the infirmary.

No!

Those papers...

You're writing up
your experiment?

Can't write
without the right arm.

Know how I lost it?

You mentioned
an industrial accident.

Government contractor.

Testing a new kind
of expl*sive.

You were involved in that?

Of course not.

Studying reptiles.

Georgia swamp.

No one knew I was there.

After 10 years,

the court threw out my case.

Someone pulled strings.

Go home, Parker.

Sir, you're not well.

Please, go.

Now.

I knew my father
had military contracts,

but this stuff
is weird beyond belief.

"Drugs for
human enhancement."

And get this:

"Wide area fragmentation
expl*sive round.

Wafer."

It must be really top-secret
to keep it in his own desk.

Maybe you should just leave it.

Sorry this isn't going faster.

No, no, I understand.

It's a bad walk down
memory lane here.

You know, you're right.

I shouldn't be reading
all this stuff line by line.

Plus, we really
should save some work for Peter.

Go get some dinner.

In fact, I'll meet you later
and buy you dinner.

Harry, man,

if you want to be
all by your lonesome,

my ego can handle it.

I just need some time
to digest this stuff, is all.

There's so much about
my father I didn't know.

You okay?

Yeah, I'm okay.

What?

For a second,
seeing you behind the desk,

you looked just like some of
those photos of your father.

I've compared
three DNA samples:

Stray hairs from
Doc Connors' lab coat,

skin particles
on the clothing fragment.

I found on
the police station roof,

and these strange scales
I picked up from his papers.

All three have DNA
from the same individual:

Dr. Connors.

But the genetic sequencing
has changed over time

to resemble reptilian DNA.

As much as I respect Dr. Connors
and his work,

I have no choice but...

To confront the truth

about the kind of man
my father really was.

The last few days of his life,

he seemed... different.

I know he didn't deserve to die
by Spider-Man's hands,

but some of these documents

indicate strange
experimental work at Oscorp.

Oscorp. Oscorp.

Oscorp!

Sir?

Dr. Connors?

Doc?

Oh, my God.

Hey, scaly, know where I can
get a little tail?

Spider-Man.
Get out of here!

Why are you helping me?

Go on, go!

Good, I seem to have
your undivided attention.

It's not too late
to turn this thing around,

is it, Dr. Connors?

Yes, police?

We've got an emergency here.

I think I can help you.

I know all about
your experiments.

Think about it, doctor.

You have your arm back,
but at what price?

We don't live in a jungle.

I have to turn you in.

Spider-Man!

You and your accomplice
are under arrest!

Accomplice?
We just met!

Aah!

Aah!

We got them both.

Let's get them
to a holding cell.

Doc Connors, listen to me.

We can get you help!

If you struggle, you'll just...

Aah!

Fall.

Genus araneae at your service.

Harry?

You okay?

Yeah, I guess.
No broken bones.

Right. I heard
Spider-Man was here.

Yeah, he was here.

Okay, okay, don't make me wish
I'd gone out the window.

We'll help you
get through this.

Whatever you need.

What I really need is...

For you two to go out
and get me a pizza.

Let me guess,

you want to be alone again.

Mushroom and pepperoni
would be nice.

I'm buying.

In that case...

Harry has so much anger.

Yeah. I don't envy him.

Look at you.

Do I have food on my face?

No.

You lost your parents,
then your uncle,

then, for a while, me,

yet the last few days,

all you can think of
is your friend Harry.

Well, I think of myself
plenty. It's just...

Thanks for letting me do that.

Not a problem.

Okay, maybe
I'm fun, fun, fun after all.

See, that's
the thing about life.

It's always on the move.

If you look in the right place,

You can never be sure
what you'll find.