01x01 - Heroes & Villains

[bunniefuu]

If Empire State U. wants
to bulldoze

the Villeroy Towers
housing project,

then the people who live there

should be compensated!

90% Of those people work
right here on campus.

Where will they work
if they're displaced?

Where will they work

if they have to look
for a place to live?

She's got a good point.

A lot of your wild-eyed
student radicals agree,

and some just love the idea
of a good protest.

I wish I could say
I was either one of those,

but here I am,
a college freshman,

yet still on the outside
looking in.

And as is often the case,

I find myself
looking... at her.

That's Mary Jane Watson.

If someone would just pay me
to take pictures of her.

- Who am I kidding? I'd take that job for free.
- Excuse me.

- Huh?
- I have to sweep there.

Uh...

You got a problem?

It's just kind of funny
that you had to sweep

that exact spot right now.

Everyone else
is on lunch break.

Everyone else is
out there protesting.

So, I guess you don't go

for that, "yay, rah-rah"
stuff, either, huh?

No. I don't go for kicking
people out of their homes.

So, uh, you live
in Villeroy Towers?

Why, you going
to help me relocate?

Can I bunk with you
in your apartment?

Didn't think so.

Hey, Peter,
you harassing people

with that weapon
of yours again?

Harassing people?

Harry's practicing being
a titan of industry.

Hey, if the shoe fits...

I'll have you know
I have a meeting

with my dad's board of directors
tomorrow.

Oh... I just realized,
you're a management guy.

No fun at a protest.

Um, M.J., protests generally
aren't about fun.

That's because you haven't
been to one with me.

So, where to next?

Me? Manhattan
museum of art.

I'm going to try and sell
the Daily Bugle

pictures of the new
antiquities exhibit.

You can't run away from me
forever, Peter Parker.

It is indeed a pleasure

to add these gems
to our temporary collection.

The jewel in the crown
is this 17th-century,



Peter Parker, Daily Bugle.

Could I get a shot of you
with the gem?

A little to your left.

Later.

Nobody likes a tailgater.

Talk about road rage!

Hey, anyone see a crook?

About 6'1", moves fast,

looks like a driver
for the space shuttle?

Who do you think we are?

We don't deal with any crooks!

Yeah. We're just trying
to hang on to our homes!

Hey, cut me a little slack.
I'm trying to catch a bad guy.

The only bad guy
I see here is you!

Ow! Huah! Uhh!

Some guys
just can't catch a break.

I'm speaking
from Villeroy Towers,

soon to make way
for an expanded E.S.U. Campus.

This is where residents
yesterday

found the 17th-century Star Ruby

stolen from
the Manhattan Museum of Art.

Residents here say the thief
must have dropped the stolen gem

while eluding authorities.

Now they'll use the reward money

for their fight
with the university.

Officer Barr, do we know
how the ruby thief

came to be here?

We're not positive,
but Spider-Man was seen

in the area.

The residents chased him away.

Witnesses at the museum

say the Hapsburg treasure
was stolen by a guy

who moved like a vortex.

No. Wait.
A little more this way.

Spider-Man
usually acts alone...

Uh, Pete, wouldn't it be
a lot easier to move

if you unplugged it?

Except for I'm watching.

Spider-Man's a crook.
No news there.

Harry, I get that you think
Spider-Man k*lled your father.

On account of he did.

I was at the museum when
that Turbo-Jet guy stole it.

I think he gave it to
the Villeroy Towers folks

for the reward money.

You mean, kind of a Robin Hood,
men-in-tights thing?

I'm pretty sure he
wasn't wearing tights.

Who wasn't wearing tights,
and why would you know?

Turbo-Jet. Peter thinks he's some
kind of Robin Hood good guy.

Could you play couch potato
for a sec?

It's a stretch, but I'll try.

The screen should be
at a 20-degree angle

for optimal viewing.
I'll tell you,

those costumed nuts are all
a menace, if you ask me.

If this Turbo-Jet did purposely
help all those people,

he gets my vote.

Agree or disagree?

M.J., lay off the Hollywood
Squares, would you?

TV looks fine, Pete.

Where you going?

Told you, Oscorp
board of directors.

So where do you come out
on this thing?

Everyone expects Spider-Man
to obey the law.

Why not Turbo-Jet?

Don't you ever just
go with your feelings?

Well, yeah,
sometimes. You?

Always.

There.

Your father very much
wanted a new science center

to be built
at E.S.U.

Now that Oscorp has
convinced the university

to demolish
the Villeroy Towers,

his wish can become a reality.

I knew that a month ago.
Why am I here?

We'd like you
to make the announcement.

It's what your father
would have wanted.

This wouldn't have
anything to do

with the campus protests?

Harry, I'm surprised at you.

Having an E.S.U. student
announce a science center

on controversial property

sort of makes it go down
a little easier.

Well, you certainly are
your father's son.

Ah, you certainly are that.

He would have
questioned it, too.

But he would have also
seen the opportunity

to do some real good.
Show him.

This telescope was
once owned by Galileo.

He never showed it to me.

Your father was afraid

you might not share
his enthusiasm.

He... He told you that?

The important thing is

your father wanted
the university to have this

to auction off.

A great way to kick off

the new science center
campaign, Harry.

A great way.

So go with me here.

I run around Manhattan
saving people

and I'm a menace.

Turbo-Jet steals a small fortune
and he's... instant hero.

Maybe I need an image makeover.

I'm... Spider-Man.

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

Get him out of here! You!

Sorry, but you forgot
your library card.

Unh.

Aah!

No manners.

Uhh!

Give... me... the book.

Who's going to miss
some musty old paperback?

Not for us to decide.

So you blindly enforce
the rules, is that it?

While I'm out there trying
to help folks.

Uh-huh, like the pedestrians
you almost hit with a truck?

No, not them. You must mean the
guard you nearly electrocuted.

You know what I think?
You're jealous.

You wish everyone liked you
the way they like me.

I'm not going to ask twice.

In that case...

Excuse me.

Huh.

I hate when that happens.

Okay, settle, everyone.
Thanks to an anonymous donation,

the Villeroy Towers defense fund
is up to $1 million!

Turbo-Jet's
the man!

Come on, Pete.
Get in the spirit.

You know, this hero of yours

sent a security guard
to the hospital last night.

The guy's in a coma. A cop on a
high-speed chase runs over a civilian.

How is that any different?

Two wrongs don't make
a right. A little help?

Listen, there's something I
need to tell you guys. Huh?

My dad's company is involved.

Yeah!
What?

Oscorp.

They're the reason they're
bulldozing Villeroy Towers!

My dad's company
convinced E.S.U.

to bulldoze...

Villeroy Towers.

I'm getting a bad feeling here.

This is just the kind of thing
I'm talking about,

the haves on campus

making deals
against the have-nots.

Hey!

We'd, uh, better
get out of here. Ow!

Peter! Vamonos!

Jolenna.
Hey, you.

The protest committee's meeting
in the community room.

They got pizza and stuff.

Want to come down there
with me?

Jolenna, you know I don't go
for that.

Still messing around
in that workroom of yours?

What you got in there, anyway?

Just some stuff.

You've got to face the fact

that we are all
going to have to move soon.

The protest committee
says that we...

The protest committee's
not helping anyone

except people who like
being on protest committees.

Free pizza and useless talk.

They got everyone
running down there like sheep.

You think you know better?

You say that
like it would be difficult.

Okay, then.
Later.

Next time, you'd better hope
I don't see

your freaky little face,
Spider-Man.

Huh.

It's all there, minus
my commission. What's next?

A telescope,
a $4 million telescope.

Whoa-h*.

That could be a problem
to fence.

I got a couple of easy scores

I can tip you off to, my man.

No. I want the telescope
for what it stands for.

You could be a rich man,

you quit the hero business.

I just do
what needs to be done.

If people want
to make me a hero,

that's only because
they're too stupid

to help themselves.

Okay, man. Whatever.

There's a word for someone
like you, Whiler:

criminal.

Guess some bugs don't know
when they've been squashed.

Uhh!

I know you won't be going
anywhere without this.

Look, there's two of 'em.

No, must have been a shadow.

It's just Spider-Man.
Call for backup. No!

Drop the cash
and put your hands up!

You've got the wrong guy! Unh!

Yeah!

Turbo-Jet's out
making a difference.

Spider-Man's
just out for himself.

So the answer lies

in how we interpret the valence
of the resulting molecule.

You can see the extra electrons
here, here and here.

Come on, you know something
was going to be built

on that land no matter what.

I'm just helping
make it worthwhile.

I'm sorry. Were you calling
science worthwhile?

Yeah. I had trouble buying
that myself. Little help?

I don't think things
are so black and white.

As in, your feelings
for another person.

Mm, more like,
one person's good deed

might be another
person's crime.

Oh.

Okay, how about if
you both come with me

to make my presentation
tonight?

Look, I'd really appreciate
the support.

I promise to make sure
both sides of the argument

are heard.

What do you say?
Well, in that case...

Great. I've got
to get there early.

You two should show up
about 6:00.

- Pick me up on your way?
- Peter.

SO2 with a polyvalent ion.

Can I meet you there? I have
to do something this evening.

Ah, see? All of a sudden, my
behavior looks pretty reliable.

We're here...

Are we on?

We're here tonight

to celebrate our bond
with Empire State University,

a campus beloved
by the late founder of Oscorp,

Norman Osborn.

To make tonight's presentation,
I would like to introduce to you.

Oscorp's majority shareholder
and esteemed E.S.U. student,

Harry Osborn!

Uh, I'm not sure if esteemed
is the right word.

Maybe if I'd been
to class more often,

I'd know what it meant.

You suck, Osborn!

Thank you.

I had a prepared speech, but...

my friend, Mary Jane Watson,

got me thinking
about how an institution

like Empire State U.
Should grow,

who it helps, who it hurts,

which brings us to Galileo.

Galileo looked through this
and saw the possibilities.

And so do I.

Later.

Give it up, Whiler.

How do you know the cops
won't take you in too?

I'll take my chances.

The people like the way
I get things done,

not you, Spidey-Boy.

Those people?

Wow. I thought
they're the ones

you said were stupid
for making you a hero.

Huh?
What?

You did say that,
didn't you, Whiler?

How you had
to take care of things

because they couldn't?

Just back off,

or this little piece of history
is history.

Go for it.
It's a fake.

That's bull.
Spider-Man's right.

He tipped us off in advance

and we set it up
with the Oscorp board.

Argh-unh!

Aah!

I'm not going down.
I helped those people.

Yeah, and you did it
with such good feelings.

I'm pretty sure that's
what touches them the most.

Uhh!

Aah!
M.J.!

Later.

Uhh...

Unh! Unh!

Back off!

Let... me... go!

You don't know what
a desperate man might do!

In that case...

Nice punch.

Uh, I'd take a few steps back
if I were you.

Aah!

Seriously... ow!

Here you are, saving me again.

A man's got to have hobbies.

Spider-Man... I mean,
not that we had anything...

Well, sure,
there was that kiss,

but it's not like we ever
went out salsa dancing

or anything like that.

I think I understand.

No, you don't.
What I'm trying to say is...

There's someone else.

There is? Anybody I know?

I don't think he even knows.

Look, the cops listened to me,

but I don't want to stick around
for questions.

I know. Go.

And in other news,

residents of Villeroy Towers

are busy planning moves
to new homes,

thanks to the donation of
a priceless Galileo telescope

to their relocation fund.

Empire State freshman
Harry Osborn

made the announcement...

I can't believe
you didn't tell me

before we went there
last night.

You did know you were going
to make that donation,

didn't you?

Pete, a little help?

Ah, M.J., you see,
Harry, like all great men,

knows that actions
speak louder than words.

Huh. Is that so?
In that case...

Whoo-hoo!

How are you doing?

Hey, at least let me
enjoy it for a minute.