06x15 - Cuda I Have This Dance?

[bunniefuu]

♪ ♪

Hey, Mom.

So I was trying on my clothes for prom,

but I couldn't decide which socks to wear.

Should I go with black socks,

white socks, or... none at all?

Booker, if you don't get
your ashy ankles off my table...

[cell phone ringing]

Hello?

Yes, this is Raven Baxter.

What? Are you kidding?

What "what"? Who's kidding?

Wow. Well, this is a surprise.

Is it about me?

-Uh-huh.
-I'm sorry, Mom.

Wow. Yes, I think this does
require a face-to-face.

I didn't know it was
the vice-principal's parking spot.

There was no sign,
and we were late for class.

Wow. I am truly shocked.

Okay, there was a sign.

But, but the better question is,
where was the vice-principal?

Where was he?

If you gonna put me on trial,

you might as well put
the whole system on trial.

Well, thank you. I will, uh,
I'll see you tomorrow.

Okay, Mama, look, I know
what you're going to say. That--

Was Anna Wintour,

editor-in-chief of Vogue magazine.

She wants to fly me to LA
and do a feature on me.

That is not what I thought
you were going to say.

I know. You thought I was going to say

that you were in trouble for missing class

and parking in the vice-principal's
parking spot.

I heard you. I got two ears,
and they both work.

But guess what?

I don't care because I'm going to LA!

[both cheering, laughing]

[theme music playing]

♪ Ha, ha! Lemme tell ya somethin' ♪

♪ Had my vision all worked out ♪

♪ But then life had other plans ♪

♪ Tell 'em, Mom ♪

♪ It's crazy when things
turn upside down ♪

♪ But ya gotta get up
and take that chance ♪

♪ New city, I'm finding my way ♪

♪ It's gonna take some time ♪

-♪ Yeah, we're gonna be okay ♪
-♪ Ya know I got you, right? ♪

♪ It might be wild, but ya
know that we make it work ♪

♪ We're just fam
caught up in a crazy world ♪

-♪ C'mon! ♪
-♪ It's Raven's Home ♪

-♪ We get loud! ♪
-♪ Yeah, Raven's Home ♪

♪ It's our crowd! ♪

♪ Might be tough, but together
we make it look good ♪

♪ Down for each other like family should ♪

-♪ It's Raven's Home ♪
-♪ When it's tough ♪

-♪ Yeah, Raven's Home ♪
-♪ We got love ♪

♪ 'Cause no matter the weather,
ya know we gon' shine ♪

♪ There for each other,
ya know it's our time ♪

[Raven laughing]

Yep! That's us.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[Booker giggling]

What are you giggling about?

Zora and I are texting
about our prom plans.

I said, "I prom-ise

we are going to have the best time."

And she responded
with a kitty emoji and said,

"That sounds purr-fect."

[laughing] Get it? 'Cause I...

Oh, I get it. We all get it.

We just don't want it.

I think it's nice.

My date's really confusing.

I mean, Andie says sweet things,

but the way she says them is terrifying.

"I wish I had your eyelashes!"

Like, I don't know
if she's complimenting me

or she's threatening to rip 'em off.

Ivy, have you found
a date to the prom yet?

Nah. I think I'm going to skip it.

There really isn't anyone
I want to go with.

But it's our senior prom,

our last big school dance.

It will be so much fun
if we all went together.

Yeah. Plus the more people I go with,

the more witnesses I have.

ADMINISTRATOR [on PA]:
Whoever is parked in

the vice-principal's spot
is about to be towed.

I gots to go.

-It's every day with that kid.
-Every day.

It's every day.

Ready to host your big sleepover?

This is not just any sleepover, Pop-Pop.

This is a Johnson Tech sleepover.

And they are no joke.

At the last one,

Zoey Chang turned her bedroom

into a zero gravity chamber.

We drank juice out of the air.

Well, if you want, you guys can line up

and I can toss popcorn into your mouths.

Let's hope it doesn't come to that.

I've spent all week designing

a virtual reality game for the sleepover.

It's 62 levels of awesome.

Okay.

Check and mate, Zoey Chang.

Sixty-two levels.

Do these kids know they
only staying for one night?

Make sure that the corsage
is on the left hand.

Always open the door for her.

And please, most importantly,

four sprays of cologne

is three sprays too many.

I hate that I'm going to miss your prom.

I know, Mom, but this Vogue photo sh**t

is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

I know, but so is prom.

My little man grown up with
a little tux and his bow tie.

That's it. I'm not going.

You're going. Mom, it's fine, okay.

I'll have Grandpa Vic take lots of photos.

Okay. Hey, but don't forget to smile.

Not just bare your teeth. Let me see.

That's it, I'm staying.

Mom.

-Okay. Bye.
-Bye.

-Love you.
-Okay.

Okay. Which Founding Father
wrote the majority

of the Federalist Papers?

-CUDA: Alexander Hamilton.
-Nice.

I learned that from the musical.

I should teach more things in song form.

It's how I learned the periodic table.

♪ Hydrogen, helium, lithium ♪

♪ Beryllium ♪

CUDA: That was incredible.

I would have never thought to use

that many trills on beryllium.

You know, I got to admit,

I never thought I'd be tutoring a fish.

Yeah, I know it's kind of weird

I'm still in my mascot uniform.

I just figured that maybe
you were a little shy

and the mask helps you talk to people.

Yeah, that's it.

You know, you're really smart.

You're really smart, too.

You're also really pretty.

You're also really pretty, too.

I-I mean, I mean in my head

because I don't know what you look like,

but you've got a hot voice.

I mean, l-let's get back to studying.

-Yep, studying. Let's do it.
-[Ivy sighs]

Okay, next question.

Name one of the 13 original colonies,

and do you want to go to prom with me?

Rhode Island. And I'd love to.

Correct. And really?

Of course. This is going to be so fun.

I'm going to go because
this moment is perfect

and I don't want to ruin it.

Bye, Cuda. Aah!

Okay.

[phone line ringing]

BOOKER: [on phone] Hey, Ivy, What's up?

Guess who's going to prom, dingoes?

Ah, took too long to answer. It's me.

-No way.
-Ivy, that's great.

Who you going with?

IVY: Guess.

Ah, took too long
to answer again. It's Cuda.

Wait, you're going to prom with Cuda?

Do you even know what he looks like?

I don't care what he looks like.

He's chill and fun,
and we get along great.

Well, I'm just happy you
changed your mind about going.

Yeah, prom was stupid until I was going.

Now it's awesome.

I've got to go find a dress.

You know, I don't want to go
dress shopping with her,

but it would have been nice to be asked.

[whooshing]

I can't believe Cuda stood me up.

[voice echoing]

Oh, no. I just had a vision
that Cuda stood Ivy up for prom.

That's terrible.

You know, for a guy who's
supposed to pump up the crowd,

he's really been lettin' us down.

♪ ♪

Right. Now, look, if Cuda
stands Ivy up at prom,

it's going to crush her, alright.

So we have to find someone else
for her to go with.

Yeah. There are plenty
of great guys at this school.

We'll find her another date.

What's up, prom-chachos?

I am so excited for tonight.

I painted my nails during free period,

did my hair at lunch,

and I'm on the waitlist for Stacy,

who is doing brow shaping in the bathroom.

We're excited, too.

It's kind of hard not to be
with all these date-worthy dudes

around here, right, Neil?

Yeah, like James.

He's the voice of
the morning announcements.

Don't you just love the way he says

"Taco Tuesdays will now be
on Th-Th-Th-Thursdays."

I guess.

Or what about Omar?

That guy is super smart,

and he's got that mock trial swag to him.

Okay, look, I'm not sure
what you guys are trying to do,

but I am taking Cuda.

[cell phone chimes]

[gasps] I got to go.

Stacy texted that I'm off the waitlist.

If I'm not in the third stall in
two minutes, I'll lose my spot.

-Alright. Looks like we need a new plan.
-Yeah.

Also, we really should start
expanding our friend group.

There are a lot of great guys
at this school, huh?

♪ ♪

"Three sprays too many."
What does my mama know?

[coughs] Oh. Oh, no. She was right.

[knocking on door]

-NEIL: Hey.
-There you are.

I thought you weren't going to make it.

[groans]

Ooh.

I had to grab Cuda's
extra suit from the gym coach.

He let me borrow it,
but first I had to drop

and give him 20!

[doorbell rings]

Hey, that's the girls.

Remember, one of us just needs
to be with Ivy in the Cuda suit

so she'll never know
the real Cuda stood her up.

Got it. Oh, and Booker. Little tip.

Don't burp in the mask.

[sniffs] Learned that the hard way.

Oh, hey. I'm sorry, y'all must be lost

because the supermodel convention

is actually down the street.

I know, but I'm skipping it
to go to prom with you.

-Hey, Cuda.
-NEIL [as Cuda]: Greetings, Ivy.

You are wearing a fancy dress,

and I am complimenting you on it.

Thanks.

You're looking pretty...

sushi grade yourself.

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Hey. Psst.

I think Ivy's flirting with me,
and her game...

is weird.

Hey, thanks for having me
over here, Booker.

I guess I'll be spending
a lot of time here

now that I'm dating Neil.

Where is Neil?

Um, he's fixing his hair in the bathroom.

If it's not three inches high,
he is not coming out.

-The boy is obsessed.
-NEIL: He's not obsessed.

He likes it a normal amount.

I mean, I'll go check on him.

Is someone taking a fish to the prom?

Who cares?

Make your memories and be gone, people.

My sleepover starts in an hour.

I'm going to go get
some more snacks for my friends.

For... my friends!

Alright, everyone, it's picture time.

-There's my man.
-Yeah, I'm back.

And I'm not sweating

because I had my head in anything weird.

Alright, everybody. Group photo.

Group photo with all of us?

That is what group means, Booker.

Now, where's Cuda?

Oh, look, our ride's here.

Oh, man.

I must have accidentally ordered

a car too small to fit us all.

I guess our dates are going
to have to go in this car,

and you and me and Cuda will just have

-to call a new one.
-BOOKER: Yeah.

Okay. But you better not stand us up.

-[Neil laughs]
-Stand you up.

That's so crazy, I can't even envision it.

[door slams]


-I am glad that's over.
-Me too.

Don't you two still have
to go to the prom?

-Oh, right.
-I'll grab the mask.

I got more snacks.

Thanks, Pop-Pop. Just put them
on the snack table.

Whoa.

Oh, no. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Yep. Nope. Go left. I go right.

Woo! Alice, your VR is going
to put me in the ER.

What kind of game is this anyway?

Well, it's called Jungle Quest.

You have to navigate your way
through a mummy's tomb,

avoiding booby traps, snakes,

and even lava to get to the throne

of Queen Alice The intelligent.

What? I make the game, I make the names.

Alice. I just did
a quick statistical analysis.

Based on heart rate, body temperature,

and pupillary dilation,

people are loving this party.

Yes!

[cell phone ringing]

Hey, Raven. How's LA?

Did Booker get to prom okay?

Uh, did he have any trouble
with his bow tie?

Did he pinch his fingers
when he clipped it on? Did he?

He's fine. He's enjoying himself.

Here, let me send you a pic.

-Okay.
-[phone chimes]

Oh, no. Oh, no.

Booker's cummerbund is on upside down.

A cummerbund cannot be upside down.

Who's the fashion designer
and who's the chef?

I don't tell you that your mac and cheese

is overcooked and salty, do I?

Frequently.

Just enjoy your photo sh**t.

Everything here is fine.

[lights click off]

Pop-Pop, what's going on?

Nobody panic.

It looks like the power went out
and the wi-fi with it.

What are we supposed to do now?

You're kids. Use your imagination.

Use your imagination?

What's next?
You're gonna tell us to go outside.

That's where the bugs live.

♪ ♪

Wow, this place looks great.

Yeah. It'd make a perfect wedding venue.

Has anyone ever told you

that everything you say
sounds like a threat.

Does it?!

Come on, let's grab some hors d'oeuvres

and maybe take a couple deep breaths.

Hey, where's Cuda?

Um, he's probably
getting drinks for all of us.

-Because he's such a good guy.
-Yeah.

I'm gonna go help him.

Hey, how was the food?

I'm trying not to fill up.

I'm planning on having a snack later.

-Am I the snack?
-Oh, you know you are.

Ugh!

Hey, Cuda, I thought you
and Booker were getting drinks.

BOOKER [as Cuda]: Uh, the drinks, right.

Uh, they were refilling the punch bowl.

-Booker's helping them.
-Okay.

Alright, party people,

make your way to the dance floor.

But Booker's not here.

I'm sure he'll be here
any minute. Let's go.

[upbeat dance music playing]

There you are.

Uh-oh. Somebody call the fire department

because I'm about to light
the dance floor up!

♪ ♪

Hey, Cuda.

Have you seen Neil?

The longer he's away, the harder I want

to squeeze him.

NEIL [as Cuda]: I'll relay the message.

♪ ♪

I'm having the best time.
I could do this all night.

BOOKER [as Cuda]: I hope I can too.

It's your jam, Cuda. Everybody back up.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Why everybody backing up?

So you can do your thing.

-What's my thing?
-The splits.

ALL: [chanting] Splits, splits, splits,

splits, splits, splits,
splits, splits, splits, splits,

splits, splits, splits, splits,
splits, splits, splits,

-splits, splits--
-[cloth rips]

-BOOKER: Ow!
-[all groan]

I think I pulled a muscle.

Which one?

BOOKER: All of them.

Wow.

The power is out in the whole block,

and they don't know when it'll be back up.

I need to fix this power generator.

All I need is a voltage regulator,

a mass spectrometer, and some plutonium.

I got a plastic bag
full of other plastic bags.

Would that help?

Pop-Pop, this is serious.

The power is out,
which means the wi-fi is out,

which means the VR is out,
which means no fun.

My sleepover is ruined.

Oh, relax.

I'm sure your friends
will have a great time

without your fancy VR.

Come on.

What the...

Bree, what's going on?

We have devolved without technology.

Claire thinks she's still
in virtual reality.

Shawna and Madison are fighting

over the last cell phone with juice.

And Sonali's trying
to create static electricity

to power her tablet.

Pop-Pop, what did people do at
sleepovers before electricity?

How old do you think I am?

Based on the hair in your ears,

the bags under your eyes,

and the sound your knees made

when you stood up, I'm going to guess--

If you're as smart as I think you are,

you will not finish that sentence.

Alice, I'm sorry your party isn't lit,

but I'm going to make it "lit."

No. No.

Give me a break. I'm 61.

-Hey, you hungry?
-Yeah. Thanks.

Double protein. Sweet.

Hey, I think we may
actually pull this off.

NEIL: I know. Ivy's having the best time.

I'm actually kind of having fun
with Andie, too.

But don't tell her that.
She likes the chase.

Attention, Bayside High.

It's time to announce your prom court.

So if your name is called,

please make your way to the stage.

Make some noise for Alex Li.

Put your hands together for Margot Flynn.

Booker Baxter Carter,

please come on down to the stage.

I'm on prom court?

I'm on prom court!

Why am I surprised?
Of course, I'm on prom court.

Get it, Booker!

And Neil Flores!

Yes! Yes!

Yes!

I mean, I'm just really excited for him.

I'm going to go get him.

I bet he's hiding from me.
He knows I like-a the chase.

Congratulations on making
prom court, dude.

You too, buddy. May the best man win.

And finally, Cuda.

No last name.

Guess everyone thinks
they're Beyonce these days.

Cuda, please make your way to the stage.

That's not good.

We both need to be up here.

We really need another friend right now.

This is why I said we should
have expanded the friend group!

♪ ♪

Cuda?

Cuda.

Anyone seen Cuda?

What do we do now?

Uh, I guess Cuda forfeits.

Cuda would never forfeit.

Mascots finish the game...

I assume. I don't know sports.

I'll go get him.

Whoa, that was fast.

Hey, I don't want to toot our own horn,

but I think we may pull this off.

NEIL: Booker, over here.

Hey, look at that.

There's two Cudas.

There's two Cudas. Ivy, aren't you lucky?

Why are there two Cudas?

I don't know. But we could throw one back.

And your Bayside High prom king

is... Neil Flores.

I won. Ha ha!

-I won.
-Neil.

NEIL: Oh, right. Um... [clears throat]

[as Cuda] Congratulations,
Neil, wherever you are.

Have you been pretending
to be Cuda all night?

No. Sometimes it was Booker.

I can't believe this.

Yeah, I got to admit, Pop-Pop,

it was a great idea retro-ing my VR game

into an IRL game.

Still don't know what any of that means,

but I'm going to take it as a compliment.

This living room jungle quest
is even better

than the virtual one.

Now I get to see Sonali trying to push

through the venomous vines.

Claire going around the Cavandor Cove

through the Tunnel of Terror.

And Shawna trying to steal
the mummy's sacred jewels.

I knew she'd fall for that booby trap.

Girl's always trying
to steal my fruit snacks.

Hey, where's Bree?

This is the best sleepover ever.

I found the amulet. It's in here.

I'm sure of it.

No, no, Bree, that's not part of the...

[vase shatters]

...game.

That's not part of the game.

Actually, that was a present
from my mother-in-law.

I am so sorry.

Eh, I've been wanting
to do that for years.

But first...

I am going to crown you queen

before you break anything else.

Good thinking, Pop-Pop.

Hey, Ivy.

One of you better tell me what's going on.

I had a vision that Cuda was
going to stand you up for prom.

So Neil and I took turns
switching off all night

so you wouldn't be alone.

Wow.

I can't believe Cuda stood me up.

Hey...

we're really sorry, Ivy.

We just...

we didn't want to see you get hurt.

Well, I don't exactly love being tricked.

I appreciate what you guys
tried to do for me.

And I did have fun dancing with you two.

Which is gross now that I know who it was.

But thanks for being such good friends.

Now go dance with your dates.

Are you sure?

Yeah, I'll be fine.

Ivy, I'm glad I found you.

Wow. You look great tonight.

I'm sorry, who are you?

It's me, Cuda.

You're Cuda?

I'm really sorry for standing you up.

I just got nervous about
coming to prom as myself

and didn't know what to do.

Cuda, you could have just told me

how you were feeling.

I know. I should have.

I hope I didn't ruin your prom.

Prom's not over yet.

Maybe we could start over.

I'd like that.

[slow dance music playing]

-Do you want to dance?
-Yes.

By the way, what's your real name?

Barry.

Wait.

Your name is Barry Cuda?

Nah, it's Jeff. But I had you
there for a second, didn't I?

[slow dance music continues]

I feel like I haven't seen you all night.

Trust me, I'm all yours now.

-RAVEN: Booker!
-Mama.

Why aren't you in LA?

I came here to tell you something.

Sorry, Zora. I'm all yours in,
like, five minutes.

Your cummerbund is on upside down.

Mom, a cummerbund can't be upside down.

Who is the fashion designer
in this family?

Why didn't you just text me?

[sighs] Okay. I didn't come
to tell you that.

Prom is a very important time
in your life,

and I didn't want to miss it.

Okay, but what about the photo sh**t?

Well, Vogue wanted to do a piece

on, on the real Raven Baxter.

And the real Raven Baxter
is a businesswoman

and a fashion designer.

But most importantly, I'm your mama.

Don't forget prom crasher.

Oh, yeah, that too, that too.

Which is why I brought the photographer
from LA. You ready?

[camera shutter clicking]

Aw. Thank you, Mom.

No worries. Get back to dancing with Zora.

And I'm watching them hands.

Yeah...

[upbeat dance music playing]

Ma, Ma, no. Mom, you gotta go.

-Mom--
-He's dancing with me.

Nobody is dancing! Hey!

Don't dance with my mom.