06x04 - Blues Beard's Revenge

[bunniefuu]

♪ ♪

Okay, I think we got
everything we need

for Ivy's welcome back party!

-I got balloons.
-I got balloons!

I got streamers.

I got streamers, too...

BOTH:
Cups. Spoons. Hats.

Paper plates with a cat
wearing a cowboy hat!

Dude, we got the same things.
I thought we split the list.

We did!

BOTH:
I took the top!

Ah...

You two haven't even started
decorating yet?

Yeah! Ivy's gonna be here any minute.
Where's the cake?

It-It-It's at the bottom
of the list.

[mouthing]

[knocking on door]

[surfer accent]:
What's up, bro-migos?

Well... that's a look.

Well, you know,
don't judge too much.

I'm sure the cruise ship
lost your luggage. [laughs]

Nah, bruh.
These are all mine.

That's a choice?

Is she wearing flip-flops?
She never wears flip-flops!

Yeah. I've known her
since kindergarten,

and I've never
even seen her feet.

And we took swimming
lessons together!

What can I say, fam-bam?

My band headlining

the Blues Beard's Cruisin'

For Funk Fusion Boogie On
The Bounty Caribbean cruise

was transformative.

Girl, the title is longer
than the cruise.

Welcome back, Ivy.

I'm sorry we couldn't get
your decorations up in time.

We really wanted
everything to be perfect.

Perfection is a mirage, man.

You can chase it,
but you can't catch it.

Especially not in
those flip-flops.

Okurr!

I-Ivy, what are you
talking about?

You want everything
to be perfect.

Uh-uh. Not anymore.

Dude, I'm tellin' you,

that cruise was amazing.

Mother ocean was my teacher,

and I, her grateful student.

Also, they paid us in...

buffet vouchers!

Don't spend it all in one place.

You can only spend it
in one place.

[theme music playing]

♪ Ha, ha!
Lemme tell ya somethin' ♪

♪ Had my vision
all worked out ♪

-♪ But then life had other plans ♪
-♪ Tell 'em, Mom ♪

♪ It's crazy when things
turn upside down ♪

♪ But ya gotta get up
and take that chance ♪

-♪ New city, I’m finding my way ♪
-♪ It’s gonna take some time ♪

-♪ Yeah, we're gonna be okay ♪
-♪ Ya know I got you, right? ♪

♪ It might be wild, but ya
know that we make it work ♪

♪ We're just fam
caught up in a crazy world ♪

-♪ C'mon! ♪
-♪ It's Raven's Home ♪

-♪ We get loud! ♪
-♪ Yeah, Raven's Home ♪

♪ It's our crowd! ♪

♪ Might be tough, but together
we make it look good ♪

♪ Down for each other
like family should ♪

-♪ It's Raven's Home ♪
-♪ When it's tough ♪

-♪ Yeah, Raven's Home ♪
-♪ We got love ♪

♪ 'Cos no matter the weather,
ya know we gon' shine ♪

♪ There for each other,
ya know it's our time ♪

[Raven laughing]

Yep! That's us.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Hey, Neil! Ready for our first day
of senior year?

Why else would I be
wearing four shirts?

Why are you wearing
four shirts?

Oh, well, one in case I'm hot,
one in case I'm cold,

one in case somebody else
is wearing the same shirt as me,

and one because wearing
three shirts just felt weird.

Where's Ivy?
If she doesn't get here soon,

-we're gonna be late for school.
-She's not already here?

But she's never late.

She sets her alarm
for the first day of school

on the last day of school.

I know!

I'm starting to wonder
if that cruise changed her.

I mean, she gave us all
puka shell necklaces last night.

Ivy can't stand shells.

She calls them
the ocean's garbage!

[phone rings]

Hey, Booker. Uh,

any chance Ivy has a twin

who wears sunglasses indoors

and pays for smoothies
with buffet vouchers?

No, that's Ivy.

That's what I thought.
Well, you better get down here,

and bring cash!

That was Lazlo. He said
Ivy's at the Chill Grill.

And he also said
you need to bring cash.

♪ ♪

We made it, Paige!

Sixth grade.

Middle school.

The big show! [giggles]

This is gonna be
the best year of our lives.

Since when is anything
in the middle good?

Middle child.
Middle seat. Middle age.

All bad.

What is she doing here?

Who?

ALICE: Kelly Quintana!

My arch-rival from
my old school back home.

We used to compete
for everything.

Grades, test scores,

who had better clothes
on their Tasha doll.

It was me, obvi. [scoffs]

Yeah, but that was years ago.
I'm sure she's moved on.

Yeah, except for
this one tiny thing.

Before I moved to San Francisco,

I pulled an epic prank on her.

Ooh, I got her.

I got her good.

Oh, no. Here she comes.

Get ready to fight. Or flee.
Call it on the fly.

Hey! I'm Kelly!

Hey, I'm Paige.

Hey, Paige.
Uh, what's your name?

Uh, Alice.

Well, it's nice
to meet you guys.

Maybe I'll see you later.

Well, she seems nice.

Nice?

She totally forgot who I am!

Isn't that a good thing?

How would you feel
if I forgot who you were?

Um... Uh...

-Um--
-Paige?

Hurts, doesn't it?

[Caribbean music playing]

[loud sip]

Hit me with another
Coco-Splosion, Lazzy.

Ivy, it's 7:45 AM,

and you're on
your eighth smoothie!

That's too much yogurt,
young lady! I'm cutting you off.

Whoa.

No need to freak out, Broski.

[sighs]

[quietly]: Guys. Guys. Y-You gotta
get her outta here.

She won't stop slamming back

[imitating]:
"Coco-Splosions,"

and she keeps playing
the one reggae song

we have on the jukebox.

The steel drums are
slowly driving me insane.

We got this.

Hey! Ivy,
we have to get to school.

It's our first day
of senior year.

We still have to pick lockers,
clubs, electives.

Chill...

We got all the time
in the world.

[imitating]:
No, we don't...

It's 7:48.
We're gonna be t*rd.

t*rd, Ivy, t*rd!

Dude... Relax!

You can't be t*rd
if you don't show up.

This is worse
than we thought.

What are we gonna do?

School starts in 10 minutes!

[whooshing]

[echoing]: You were right. Bringing Ivy
to an actual island

was the perfect way
to get Regular Ivy back.

[whooshing]

I got it!

All we have to do
to get Regular Ivy back

is take her to an actual island.

-Did you see that in a vision?
-Yep.

Mm, we can't always
trust your visions.

Has that ever
stopped us before?

-Uh, no, it has not.
-Ah!

[Caribbean music playing]

$200 for baked beans

and $400 for toilet paper.

$400 for toilet paper?

What? That's a lot
of baked beans.

You right, you right.

Hey, this is kind of fun.
I mean, what could be better

than balancing the Chill Grill
books with your old man?

Are you sure you want me
to answer that?

I'm just joking with you, Dad.
There is no better feeling

-than when everything adds up.
-[click, beeping]

This don't add up.

Dad, we are 200 short?

What? That can't be right.

[gasps]
That can only mean one thing!

-Someone's stealing from the Chill Grill!
-Your math's wrong.

Hold up now.
My math ain't wrong.

What it is, is that you have
a thief working for you.

-Now, who was the last person you hired?
-You!

The other to last person.

Rae, this is crazy.

No, Dad, because last month,
we were missing 100,

and the month before that, 150.
[gasps] It's a pattern!

I'm a fashion designer.

I know a pattern.

Where are you going?

I'm going to the Chill Grill
to stop a thief!

Where are you going?

I'm going to the Chill Grill
to stop a lawsuit.

Good! You can drive!

♪ ♪

[both straining]

[gasping]

Neil! When you said
your dad's hotel

had an awesome boat
we could borrow,

you could have mentioned
it was a pedal boat.

Sorry.

I thought when I said awesome,

giant swan pedal boat
was implied.

[gulls cawing]

[loud exhale]

It's good to be back.

Oh, you've been here before?

All islands have
the same spirit, bro-migo.

They all speak
in the same voice.

[gasps]

What's that, island?

Aw. I missed you, too.

BOOKER:
Oh, man!

Now she's gone full Moana!

So what's the plan?

Well, my vision said
taking her here

would make her
Regular Ivy again.

So, you know, we just give her a minute,
she'll snap out of it,

and we'll be back at school
before anyone knows we're going.

Is she weaving a hat?

Bro-migo?

We have a problem.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

[sighs] Call me crazy,

but I don't think bringing
Ivy to the island is working.

Really, Neil?
What makes you say that?

[leaves rustling,
wood creaking]

On the upside, at least we have
somewhere to sleep tonight, huh?

We are not sleeping here!

Okay? We're gonna snap
Ivy out of this,

and we'll get back to school
in time for... third period.

What? It's already
third period?!

Ah! I'm not gonna get
to choose my lab partner!

Now, I'm gonna get stuck with
whatever other loser's absent.

Neil, that's me.

Sweet!
We're gonna be lab partners!

[both grunt]

Wait, that's it!
Ivy loves correcting us.

We'll pretend to do
a science project,

she'll jump in to fix it,
and then, boom!

-Right back to Regular Ivy.
-Yes!

-Follow me.
-Okay.

[pan flute music]

[indistinct muttering]

Hey, Neil! Do you know
what'd be fun to do?

A science project!

[stops playing]

Huh! Why,
that does sound fun, Booker!

A science project!

Science project?

-[rattling]
-Oh, wow.

Yeah, look. We got gum,

paperclips, a water bottle...

Why, if I'm not mistaken,

we have everything we need
to make... a particle collider!

You two are gonna
make a particle collider?

Yep! I'ma get
started on the collider.

Then, I'm gonna start...
collecting particles.

[sighs] Guys, step aside.
Let me do it.

Yo, yo, yo, it's working!
I was right.

IVY: Check it out.

Okay, Regular Ivy.

Let's see that
particle collider.

I made a blender, baby.

[winding]

The only particles colliding
will be pineapples

and sweet, sweet mango.

♪ ♪

And then Kelly told me

sloths were her
favorite animal. [scoffs]

And then, she said
she loves Rihanna, too.

And then...

she said my jacket was fire.

So...

just to recap,
you had class with Kelly,

and all she did was share your interests
and compliment you?

I know!

Suspicious, right?

Is it possible that Kelly
actually doesn't remember you?

Oh, Paige.

Clearly, you've never had
a mortal enemy. [laughs]

No, but I do have an annoying
friend who won't let things go.

So you get it.

You know what?

I think Kelly wants me
to let my guard down!

And then, when I'm at
my most defenseless...

-[door slams]
-Bam! She'll strike.

So, what are you gonna do?

Strike first.
And when we're done with Kelly,

we'll take down that
annoying friend of yours, too.

♪ ♪

Raven!

I am telling you,
the Chill Grill staff

is like family.
No one would steal from me.

I'm family
and I stole from you.

I mean, uh, I borrowed from--

You know what, Daddy?
I owe you $25.

Raven, please,
let's just go home.

No, Dad. The thief is here,
and I'm going to find him.

♪ ♪

Mm-hmm.

♪ ♪

[mouthing]

What am I doing?
Lazlo's not the thief.

♪ ♪

[squeals]

Lazlo's the thief!

Raven!

This is Lazlo
we're talking about!

He would never steal from me.
He's worked for me for years.

He's loyal. He's trustworthy.
He's like a brother to me.

-[sizzling]
-The money's in the beans.

Gotcha.

Oof. Dad was right.
That's a lot of baked beans.

Guess I'm gonna have
to search 'em all.

[sighs] Okay.

♪ ♪

Okay!

The trap has been set.

After lunch, Kelly will go to
her locker to find her books,

but she's not gonna
find any books.

[flatly]:
What is she going to find?

Paige. A little more enthusiasm
would be nice.

I'm doing this for you.
I know what's gonna happen.

Sorry. Continue.

She's gonna find
a giant, spring-loaded foot

that's gonna kick her
across the hall!

Wapow!

Where did you find a giant foot?

I had art in third period.
What can I say?

Revenge inspires me.

KELLY:
Alice?

Oh. Hey, Kelly!
Those books look heavy.

You should probably
put them in your locker.

Alice...

I need to tell you something.

I've been lying all day.

I totally remember you
from our old school.

[fake surprise]:
Really?

I guess I just wanted
a fresh start.

Really?

You wanna eat lunch together?
I'll save you a seat.

She just wants to be friends?

[groans]
How did we not see this coming?

-I've been telling you this all--
-Not now, Paige.

I have to disable my pranks
before lunch is over,

or Kelly's gonna get
seven pounds of papier-mâché

and a glitter blast
right to the face.

You rigged a glitter blast, too?

I'm 10! I like sparkles.
Sue me.

[Caribbean music playing]

[drumming]

And I thought
the pan flute was bad.

Ivy, where did you
even find coconuts?

I brought them with me,
my dude.

Ivy, please, I'm begging you.

We've missed club signups,
locker selection,

choosing lab partners!

We have to get back to school!

The island is our school.
The ocean is--

Not our teacher, Ivy!

The ocean is the ocean.
Our teachers are at school,

which is where we are
taking you right now.

Neil, to the boat.

[grunting]

Whoo! Hey. Oh, hey, could somebody
grab my bongos?

We're leaving the bongos!

Uh, Neil?

IVY:
Whoa!

Where's the boat?

[waves splashing]

The island says
the ocean took it.

[indistinct muttering]

-Didn't you tie it up?
-Why would I tie it up?

It's not supposed to move
unless you pedal it!

My bike never does!

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

I can't believe the boat
floated away.

Dude, it's all good.
You still have your phone.

-Yeah, it's in my bag!
-Where's your bag?

It's on the boat.

[Neil winces]

-What about your phone?
-Left it at home.

The constant connectivity
was really harshing my vibe.

-What about you, Neil?
-Ah, I dropped it,

and a crab stole it.

That tracks.

I can't believe we're missing
our first day of school.

Yeah, starting senior year
with an unexcused absence.

That's not a good look, guys.

-Unexcused absence?
-Mm-hmm.

But that goes on
your permanent record.

Permanently.

-Ivy, I'm sure there's--
-No, no.

She needs this.

My perfect attendance
will be ruined.

Colleges will know.

Future employers will know.

Who am I kidding?
No one is gonna hire me.

I have an unexcused absence.

Well, look at the bright side.

You were right.
Bringing Ivy to an actual island

was the perfect way
to get Regular Ivy back.

Too bad we're stranded here.

Oh, look!
The crab who stole my phone.

Ah, it's dead.

[sighs]

My phone. Not the crab.

[sighs] Crab's fine.

♪ ♪

Okay. I've located
the triggering system.

Whoever designed
this was a genius.

Didn't you design it?

Yes. Yes, I did.

It's imperative that I cut the wires
in the proper order

to avoid triggering the device.

[intense music playing]

Okay... Red...

Orange.

Blue.

[school bell rings]

[laughs] Phew!

That was close.

-[screaming, grunts]
-[thud]

I'm okay.

I-I don't get it.
I cut all the right wires.

[cackling]

KELLY:
Oh, Alice.

Girl, you haven't changed a bit.

So predictable.
You played right into my hands.

Wait, what?

You knew I was gonna
try to prank you?

Yep.

I also know I couldn't
beat you at pranks,

so I switched the wires.

I got you to prank yourself.

So, you don't actually
wanna be friends?

Why would we be friends
when this is so much more fun?

See you later, Alice.

You and your little sidekick.

Wow.

You were right.

I wish you hadn't disabled
that glitter blast.

Oh, I didn't.
It's in her backpack.

[boom]

KELLY:
Alice!

This is gonna be
a good year! [laughs]

♪ ♪

I tried to light a signal fire,

but, you know,
there's no matches.

Oh, I tried to tie a message to
a bird, but I couldn't catch it.

I even wrote SOS in the sand,

but no one responded.

Did you remember to hit send?

Sorry. When I get nervous,
I just make...

really good jokes.

Hey, can I ask you something?

What was with the whole
Island Ivy thing?

I don't know.

The cruise was so amazing.

No grades. No tests.
No worries.

Just eating shrimp
five days a week.

I didn't want it to end.

Yeah, but this is senior year, Ivy.
It's gonna be fun.

Yeah, and stressful.

Our whole high school career
has led to this.

We can handle this.

Okay, and when it gets hard,

we'll get through it together.

And Ivy?

[sighs]

That's too much shrimp.

[sighs] Thanks, guys.

Ow. Somebody just
hit me with a ball.

Wait. Somebody just hit me
with a ball!

BOOKER:
Wait a second.

This isn't an island!

Yo, this is Baker Beach!

Our school is, like,
right over that hill!

The fog was so thick, we didn't realize
where we got stranded.

Hey, if we hurry,
we can make it back to school

-by fifth period.
-Oh, and, guys,

if my dad asks what happened
to his, uh, swan boat,

let's just tell him
it floated off by itself.

Because, apparently,

they can do that.

♪ ♪

-[squishing]
-[sighs]

Nothing but beans.

-[squishing]
-[sighs]

Ah, the money's gotta be
in here somewhere.

VICTOR: Raven!

What are you doing?

I know you're the thief, Lazlo!

I saw you steal money
and put it in a tub of beans.

This is ridiculous!
Lazlo would never steal from me.

No, she's right.

I am?

Gotta admit,
after the seventh tub of beans,

I was starting to doubt myself.

Lazlo, why would
you steal from us?

I wasn't stealing.

[sighs] It's my
Baxter Backup fund.

Why do you have
a Baxter Backup fund?

Well, for when
Booker gives away fries.

Or when you turned the Chill Grill
into a coffee shop.

-Remember that.
-Yeah, and you turned it back.

-Oh, that's right.
-And then you turned it back again!

You right.

Or, I don't know, maybe it's
the whole bean incident.

-What bean incident?
-[scoffs]

Oh... these beans.

So you're stealing
from us to save us?

[scoffs]
Well, someone has to.

Oh, Lazlo.

That's the nicest thing
anybody's ever done for us!

No, no, no! Oh no...

♪ ♪