My Spy: The Eternal City (2024)

[bunniefuu]

And if you saw

the People's Choice Awards last night,

you saw a heck of a lot

of this guy's face.

Here's the number one single

in the country right now,

from Ryan King Kerr.

What are you working on?

Oh, I'm, um... I'm writing

a new song for my grandma.

I told her, if I won

a People's Choice Award,

I would write her a new song.

I guess I got a lot of work to do.

That's really sweet.

Yeah, well, she worries about me

after those recent threats.

I told her, as long as I got JJ as my

bodyguard, nothing's gonna happen to me.

Just glad the CIA gave you some time off.

That's right.

I'm gonna take a leak. You want anything?

Uh, maybe a water on your way back.

Oh, anything for the man who protects me.

Anything? I'd like you to teach me

how to play guitar.

What, with those ham hands?

Just think about playing the tuba.

Really think I can play the tuba?

You crack me up, JJ.

What a cute little d*ck.

Water?

- I couldn't help but overhear.

- Thank you.

Aah! Son of a...

Aah! Are you kidding me?

JJ, it's Sophie.

Coming in for extraction now.

Brace for impact.

Hey, not my People's Choice.

- Sophie?

- I got you.

It's gonna be okay.

How'd you know what they were planning?

That's not important.

So for the last time, can I go to the

homecoming dance with Ryan this Saturday?

Sorry.

You've got underwater training scheduled.

What are you doing?

- Hey, Sophie?

- Hmm?

I can't go to the dance with you.

I asked Olivia Rodrigo.

Hmm.

Wait.

No!

That was weird.

Here you go, Oz.

All right. Yeah.

Hey, Blueberry.

There you go, pal.

You're looking very handsome today.

Sophie, food's getting cold.

Made your favorite... scones.

But muffins are my favorite.

I tried making muffins,

but they didn't rise.

And now they are scones.

What is going on with your hair?

Still got bed head.

Supposed to be out the door.

It's fine.

I have free period this morning,

then seminar advisory,

which I can just blow off.

No, blowing off is a bad habit.

I'm not letting you start bad habits.

I need you there at 0900.

- Did you hear me, young lady?

- Mm-hmm.

Is that a "mm-hmm" like you heard me

or a "mm-hmm" like "shut up"?

Yes, I will be there at 0900.

Geez, just 'cause you think

you can act like my dad

doesn't mean that you are my dad.

'Cause you are not.

- Hey.

- Hey, babe.

- How are you?

- Well, we finally got here and settled in.

The people are so great.

And, boy, did they need us.

Nurses for Global Health to the rescue.

What's Rwanda like?

It's unbelievable.

But how about you? How's everything?

- Hi, Mom.

- Hey, sweetheart.

Don't feed your scones to Ozzie.

And we have practice today... 1600.

Yes, drill sergeant.

It's called "four o'clock."

So, how's it really going?

I mean, my suggestions

used to be considered useful,

my jokes funny.

Today, after I simply reminded her

of the importance of punctuality,

she reminded me that I am not her dad.

But no, it's fine.

I'm not her real dad.

I'm just...

I don't know.

You have her training every day.

Try asking her what she wants to do

for a change.

Sophie loves the dojo.

- It's her thing.

- Her thing or yours?

Just ask her.

She might really appreciate that.

She's changing, JJ.

Be patient.

Perimeter?

Looks good.

Bobbi, can you show me the close camera?

And someone needs to finish

these scones that I baked

for my little girl who fed 'em to the dog.

These are pieces of my heart

that you're leaving on this plate, people.

I'll take one. Thank you.

Connelly.

What?

I'm on Lipitor. I'm allowed.

We got a bogey, six o'clock.

Well done, Christina.

You're clear to proceed.

Copy that. Wish you were with me, friend.

All right. That's the air-gapped server.

Gonna need

some help here, Bobbi.

- What do we got?

- Looks like the lock's a JET-08.

Sending data package now.

Christina, we got another bogey

approaching, ten o'clock.

Time to see if Kim's informant's right

and the data's actually here.

Good Lord.

We got seven more bogeys approaching.

Thirty seconds out.

Need more time.

- Christina, get out of there. Now!

- No, JJ, wait.

Christina, you've got this.

Got it. Got weapons locations

scattered globally.

I said move, damn it!

Almost done.

Three. Two.

One.

Hey. Good work, JJ.

Thanks.

- Little touch and go there, but...

- No, I mean the scones.

At first, I was disappointed

the raisins wasn't chocolate chips.

I was like,

"Where the chocolate chips at?"

'Cause all the scones I had

had chocolate chips before.

But then, about the fourth bite,

I was like, "Damn!"

They're currants. Thank you.

Uh, you okay?

- Yeah.

- Yeah?

'Cause, uh, you're sweating

like you're going through menopause.

Christina had that,

and you almost shut it down.

But I didn't, did I?

Sir? You wanted to see me?

I heard we were successful. Congrats.

Yeah. Thank you.

So, what did this data reveal?

At the end of the Cold w*r,

when the Soviets were falling apart,

the KGB set out to hide weapons all around

the world for a potential first strike.

Suitcase nukes,

each weighing less than 50 pounds.

Portable so they can be moved

but carrying a blast capability

of one kiloton.

In 1973, NATO intelligence intercepted

a top secret Soviet document

containing activation codes

for these weapons.

But these weapons could not be found.

Over a hundred nukes went missing.

So, hopefully, this data that you helped

retrieve will tell us where they are.

- I'm glad that tip worked out.

- Yes.

Step one: finding them.

Step two: acquire and neutralize.

Step three: getting you back

in the field, JJ.

I need you to finish this mission.

You know I can't do that, sir.

When I moved here three years ago, I

made...

Yeah, I know.

You made a promise.

No more fieldwork,

focus more on intel and family.

I just want to live long enough

to walk Sophie down the aisle one day.

Fieldwork is behind me. I've changed.

Oh, quit the crap, JJ.

I need my number one bull elephant

heading this mission.

And Connelly can't do it.

He scheduled a colonoscopy.

He already picked up

the gallon of orange goo,

and he has to be near a latrine

for the next 48 hours.

Sir, I just want to serve

my country peacefully

and be the best father...

the best guardian I can be.

Scone?

They're sugar-free, but you'd

never guess if I didn't tell you.

They're really good.

Wait.

Oh, God.

- He's so good.

- So good.

That's the stuff, Ryan. Thank you.

Thank you, Dr. Brookey.

Thank all of you.

Your focus this week

has been very impressive.

National choir rankings come out tonight,

and the top five schools

will be invited to tour Italy

with a command performance at the Vatican.

Fingers crossed.

See y'all tomorrow. Thank you.

- Nice going, Ryan.

- Good job, man.

All right.

Oh, you k*lled it.

Awkward.

- Sorry.

- Thank you, Sophie.

I appreciate that. Hey, you sounded great.

Oh, God.

Sophie, wait up.

Hey, I'm trying out

for the play next Thursday.

Want to help me run some lines?

I got to learn some Italian for this one.

Mm, accent's a little Super Mario,

but it's not bad.

- But I can't.

- Hey, Soph.

JJ's making pasta and wants me home.

He sure does love to cook.

Collin, how long have we been friends?

Since the first day you got here.

You were the only one

who showed me around.

Well, that's 'cause I felt bad.

I mean, look at you.

That hideous smile? You're doomed.

Okay. Seriously, I need your opinion.

Do you think Ryan would say yes

if I asked him to the homecoming dance?

You and Ryan?

Shouldn't he be asking you?

Well, he barely knows who I am.

I had a dream I asked him,

but it didn't go so well.

Look, I like the guy, but he's a jock.

The only reason why he joined choir

is because our football team sucks

and it's the only way

for him to meet girls.

Well, it worked.

He's got style. He's smart.

Smart? FYI, he drops his pants all the way

to the ground when he's at the urinal.

That's completely unnecessary.

Come on. For real.

Of course he'd say yes.

He'd be an idiot not to.

Thanks.

See ya.

I'm going to need that thumb drive.

The drive.

The real one.

I'll give your best to JJ.

Toodles.

Come on. Got to land that.

Look, I'm done, okay?

It's 5:30, and I've got stuff to do.

Like what? Catching up on your Snapchat?

Yeah, I wish I could, but my iPhone

is so old it overheats after three texts.

Keep your grades up,

then maybe for your birthday.

Come on, another set.

It's the only time we get to hang out.

No, I can't, okay? I just...

I've got too much homework.

If you want to be a great agent,

you got to put in the time.

Yeah, well, I have other interests now

that also require my time.

You used to really want to be an agent.

It's all you ever talked about.

Yeah, well, I also wanted

to be Dora the Explorer.

I've changed.

Okay? And so have you.

I mean, being in the field

is all you used to talk about,

and now you prefer

making pasta and scones.

Well, I think it's just another excuse

to skip practice and take the easy road.

And you're not hitting your high kicks,

your punching speed is slow,

and I haven't seen you pick up a knife

in like three weeks.

Okay, I take back

the knife comment.

But everything else still stands.

Sophie.

Wait.

Hey. I'll tell you what.

Tomorrow's Saturday. Forget practice.

What would you like to do?

Whatever. Can go to a museum,

catch a movie, whatever you want.

Oh, my God,

my choir is top five.

Oh, my God, I'm going to Italy.

Oh, I'm going to Italy!

Italy!

Chaperoning? You're serious?

Yeah. Kim approved it.

Well, just say you can't do it.

Like a normal dad who can't take you

to your first concert

because he's suddenly too busy

with his second family

that's no longer a secret.

Wow. That's specific.

Look, I became an analyst so I could be

your eyes and ears as a partner.

But the last few years, you, the badass,

has become an analyst, too.

And now I just help Connelly,

who, like, never invites me

to his trivia nights.

- Have you been invited?

- Mm...

It's like I don't even recognize you.

You just sit there like an avocado

getting older and softer.

- Because I'm chaperoning a trip?

- Yeah.

You're sounding kind of sexist.

I can't hear you... over your vag*na!

Sorry, was that too sexist?

Why don't you go cry about it to HR?

Enjoy your trip.

Ugh. Connelly.

Lot of vag*na talk.

I know.

So, chaperone?

I chaperoned three Boy Scout overnights

with my son. They're a piece of cake.

Really? Got any advice?

It's kind of an important trip for us.

Trick is you got to give them a taste

of adulthood but with a safe perimeter.

- What do you mean?

- You're going to Europe, right?

- Yeah.

- On a field trip.

Let her let her hair down.

Let her stay up past her bedtime,

run in a field, taste some wine.

Surprise her. Open up the rules.

And the clincher... if you can make

her friends like you, you're in.

You'll be your kid's hero.

- Her friends, huh?

- Yeah.

Yeah, all right.

Who wants to go to Italy?

Gather in your assigned groups,

and let's get this show on the road.

- How do you know your group?

- Don't you read the emails?

- What emails?

- Geez.

I also texted you a list

of some ground rules.

- Ground rules?

- Yes.

I think some basic guidelines are in order

if this is going to be

a successful trip for you and me.

- "We are not roommates"?

- Correct.

I will be sharing a room with my friends.

"Rule two: Visiting hours are limited

to one hour a day."

Which brings us to our next rule.

For God's sake.

Do I just constantly embarrass you?

Not constantly.

- Nice fanny pack, by the way.

- Thank you.

You must be JJ.

I'm Nancy Buck, the new vice principal.

I'll be traveling with you, helping out.

Let me introduce you

to the other chaperones.

JJ, meet Linda, Ted, Z,

Sharonne, Alex and Sam.

Hey.

Linda and Alex have done two tours,

so when you need help,

don't hesitate to ask.

- We've got your back.

- All right.

Now, I think I got this.

Oh, he's got this.

JJ's a G-man.

Works for the government... CIA.

I'm just an analyst now.

You've probably seen it all, JJ.

Yeah, pretty much.

So you know what to do when a kid

cries all night because he's homesick?

Or when someone from Linda's group crawls

into bed with someone from Alex's group?

Or when a girl from your own group

gets her period

and has run out of tampons?

That's a trick question.

'Cause we don't talk about periods

because they're embarrassing and private.

You think the female body is embarrassing?

- Yeah. Yeah.

- Oh, my God.

I mean, uh, no. No, of course not.

Pass. Next question.

- Are you sure you can handle this?

- Yes, ma'am.

Good. These kids are at a tricky age.

Raging hormones, poor impulse control.

Plus, the numbers are stacked

against us 15 to one.

So stay frosty, soldier boy,

because if you can't hack it,

I will dump your a*s from chaperone

to the shadow tour

with the other loser parents

who want to stay in the nicer hotels

and sip chardonnay from a distance.

The ones who are too afraid

to get their hands dirty

in the crap bowl of American youth.

I did not love that conversation.

So, my name is JJ, and I'm your chaperone.

Okay. Huddle up, guys. Come on.

All right, for this mission,

our squad's going into foreign territory,

so to succeed,

we're gonna have to maintain

a high level of situational awareness.

Which means we're gonna

have to look out for each other.

Hey, can you put that down, please?

Sorry.

But I really wanted us to get off

on the right foot, so I brought you guys

some fresh-baked cookies...

and some White Claws.

Hey, we're gonna get so wasted.

What the hell are you doing?

You want to get us kicked off this trip?

You cannot give these kids alcohol.

It's not real.

I had Langley fabricate the cans

with some carbonated water.

Well, that's putting our tax dollars

to good use.

What were you thinking?

First of all, you don't pay taxes.

Second, I just want us to have a good time

and I want your friends to like me.

You don't

have to walk me in, Dad.

Ah, of course I do.

I'm not gonna see you for ten whole days.

Give me a kiss. Come on.

- Dad.

- Oh, don't Nemo me.

Kiss me on the cheek, or so help me,

when this bus pulls away,

I will run after you screaming,

"Hey, Collin, you forgot

your diarrhea medication!"

- Okay. Okay.

- All right.

There you go. Was that so hard?

Please, Dad, stop.

Okay, one-one more, one more.

- Bye, Dad.

- Goodbye.

Oh, I have something more to tell you.

- Bye, Dad.

- Okay.

What? There's nothing wrong

with expressing your feelings.

What about expressing your saliva

all over Collin's cheek?

My son is the reason I agreed

to give you this time off.

I want you to keep an eye on him.

He's sensitive.

This is gonna be the first time

Collin hasn't slept in his own bed

since his mom died three years ago.

Don't worry. He'll be in good hands.

What's up with the Peppa Pig scrubs?

You know, Collin still thinks

I'm a pediatric nurse.

When are you gonna tell him that you're

the head of covert operations for the CIA?

Keeping him in the dark keeps him safe.

And I trust you told Sophie

not to tell him?

- Yeah. Many times.

- I got to go.

Have fun with the choir, JJ.

Thanks, Chief.

Was that as bad as it felt?

A man making out with his son?

No, it wasn't great.

Collin!

I love you!

He's so embarrassing.

Collin!

I'll be right back.

I got to run to the store

and buy some tampons.

Acknowledge me!

Are you guys seeing this? St. Mark's.

It was consecrated

over a thousand years ago.

And, uh, that's...

that's the doge's palace,

apparently Venice's most iconic landmark.

And I'm having an affair with Lady Gaga.

I can say this because

no one's listening or cares.

Maybe they're all wasted

from the fake White Claws.

Funny.

Here. I got you something.

I know it's not your birthday,

but I wanted to wait till we got here

to give you this.

- Really?

- Open it.

It's not an iPhone, but this is better.

Enhanced tracking, satellite capabilities,

a stun light and a built-in Taser.

And the best thing about this...

When you're done with it,

just throw it away.

You got me a used burner phone.

Maybe I can use it to buy some meth

or order a hit man.

Don't be ridiculous.

If you need a hit man,

come to me for the referral.

I got you a spare battery.

Now, Langley puts E-tags on these

so they can track them if they're lost.

Don't even think about losing it,

'cause those are expensive.

You're welcome.

Hi, JJ.

Second-guessing your decision

to come on this trip?

No, not at all, although...

it is a little like herding kittens.

How is it anything like hurting kittens?

No, herding.

Herd-ing kittens.

Ah. 'Kay.

Anyway, we made it,

and as long as bed check was fine

and the kids are all squared away,

we are good.

Yep. All good.

Great. Just remember

I need your bed check roll call

emailed to me every night at 10:00 sharp.

I've got a lot of nervous parents

that I need to keep happy.

Got it. Ten sharp.

- Have a good night, then.

- Good night.

Bed check.

Oh, God.

Bed check.

Oh, God.

Oh, no.

Bed check.

Sophie?

Bed check.

Spin the bottle?

Throw those bottles away.

Start cleaning up.

Fiona, you okay?

I can't believe you guys

went out and got beer.

I'm coming in.

Whoever's in there better have clothes on.

What is going on here?

Um, we're just rehearsing.

It is 10:05, JJ.

Where's my bed check update?

This will be a final reminder that there

will be zero tolerance for missing curfew.

Yeah, no, that's on me.

I mean, failing to prepare

is preparing for failure.

- It won't happen again.

- I hope not.

Please don't have me

do your job for you again.

- Back to your rooms, everyone.

- Okay. Come on, guys. Let's go.

This is your fault.

You got us in trouble.

- I got you out of trouble.

- Really?

You drew the vice principal straight to us

because you forgot to do your job.

And I could've turned you in

to Cruella de Nancy, but I didn't.

You're the one that snuck out,

and you're getting mad at me?

Yes, because I was this close

to having my first...

Okay.

I did nothing wrong.

You have got to give me some space.

Well, I can't.

Because you asked me to come,

and now I've got a job to do.

JJ, I am going to have fun on this trip,

and if you're going to get in my way,

then consider yourself the opposition.

The opposition? Really? Me?

Do you know who you're talking to?

I'm an Army Ranger

who survived five tours of duty.

I can survive one choir tour.

You know how Christina

was supposed to bring

that thumb drive to the Berlin embassy?

- Yeah.

- She never arrived.

Get me chief of station Berlin.

All right, we've got an hour

till the buses leave for Florence.

- Let's pack 'em and stack 'em.

- Yes, ma'am.

Hey.

Do you guys want to sneak out tonight

when we get to Florence?

You're not worried about

getting in trouble again?

Oh, come on. It'll be fun.

Yeah, 'cause statistically,

we've only gotten in trouble

one out of one times on this trip so far.

Guys, if you look out to the left,

you will see the Santa Maria Novella.

It says that it was built

in the first half of the 13th century

and it's considered

one of the most important points

of religious

and artistic interest in Italy.

And hey, if you look to the right,

you will see the Duomo.

Uh, there it is. There it is.

I can't actually... can't believe

that we're here seeing that.

You see that, guys?

Right over there?

Look how amazing that is.

Are you guys excited to see that? I am.

Hey, guys.

Let's turn in early

so we're fresh for tomorrow, all right?

Okay, JJ. By the way,

I enjoyed your guided tour.

I had no idea the Duomo

took 142 years to build.

Thanks, Collin.

Don't be such a kiss-a*s.

He was terrible.

That guided tour took

142 years off my life.

I know, but the best way to sneak

past the warden is to be his best friend.

What was he so cheery about?

Good question.

So, how late is this place open?

I don't know.

But I do know it has

the best gelato in Italy.

It's the perfect place

to ask Ryan to homecoming.

Oh, geez.

Please, Collin.

I need you to do this for me.

I'll owe you forever.

Whoa.

I have a camera in the plug

and one in the vent.

What's he doing?

A tracker.

Not as smart as you think you are, JJ.

Where'd you learn how to do all this?

Ironically, he taught me.

That's so cool.

- Really?

- Yeah.

My dad's totally boring.

What are you talking about? Your dad's...

probably cooler than you think he is.

Unlikely.

It's almost time for bed check.

It's now or never. I got to get ready.

What about JJ? He leaves his door open.

How do we get by?

Trust me.

I know all his moves.

Follow me.

Hey, come on, man. You got this.

Oh, God.

Damn.

- How'd you find the trackers?

- Nanny-cammed you.

- Nice.

- How'd you get us?

- Trip-wired the boys' door.

- Not bad.

Now, why don't you guys turn around

and go back to your rooms.

- JJ.

- No, I mean it. Now.

Sorry, guys.

All right, I'll tell you what.

I'll let you guys stay up

a little past your bedtime.

There is 40 minutes to curfew.

If you guys promise to be

back in your rooms in 35 minutes,

I'll pretend like I didn't see you.

Thank you, Mr. Jones.

Hey, you're pretty cool.

Yeah.

Pretty cool.

How much do I owe you?

There it is. Just ahead.

What? Oh.

Oh, no. I totally left my medicine

back at the hotel.

I better go get it.

It's for worms.

I got pinworms from my dog.

But don't worry, the medicine's working

and I'm turning the corner on the worms.

My butt hardly itches at all anymore.

I'll catch up with you later.

- That was weird.

- Yeah.

I'm never gonna live that down.

Now say exactly what I say to the server.

That's dope.

I didn't know you could speak Italian.

Well, yeah.

Uh, I didn't, either, till just now.

Oh, maybe if you helped me

rehearse for the play,

you'd know I learned some Italian.

Now, tell the server...

So cool. Hey, listen,

I'll get the next one, okay?

The next one?

Yeah.

I like hanging out with you.

Let's take a pic. Come on.

Hey, something's really wrong.

I'm so sorry, but I'll be right back.

Hey!

Hey! Hey!

Sorry. Scusa.

Oh, damn it.

Damn it. How much do I owe you?

Whoa.

Are you okay?

They took Collin.

- Who took Collin?

- I don't know.

How's my little cocoa bean?

We have

your son, Mr. Kim.

Come to Rome alone

to the following coordinates

for further instructions.

If you tell anyone, including the CIA,

we'll know and the boy dies.

- Something just happened.

- Stop.

Nothing over the phone.

Cover Collin's absence.

Get to Rome ASAP.

I'll send you the coordinates.

Don't do or say anything

until I get there.

There's no knowing who's involved.

Here.

You recognize him.

Yeah. Bishop Crane.

He's as bad as they come.

Assassination, extortion, trafficking.

There's nothing he won't do for money.

Why would he want to kidnap Collin?

JJ, what are you not telling me?

We were in the Special Forces together.

Crane was the new guy in an elite unit

doing drug interdiction in Colombia.

He sold us out to the cartel,

made millions.

Your unit?

I was the only one who survived.

Whoa.

I'm sorry.

If Crane is involved,

whoever he's working for is very powerful.

I've got to get the other chaperones

to cover for me.

You won't be safe here.

You're coming with me.

Where are we going?

There he is.

Wait.

We got to keep our distance.

He's being watched.

All right, come on.

Get in.

I asked you to do one thing.

One. You failed.

This would've never happened

under the old JJ's watch.

Bobbi? What are you doing here?

I asked her to be here.

I needed a tech, and everybody knows

techs are basically expendable.

Right.

The better question is:

What are you doing here?

- Collin is my friend.

- Yeah.

And if whoever Crane is working for

knows about you, then they know about me.

Which also means Sophie's at risk.

I can't leave her behind.

Chief, what is that?

About to find out.

Breach NATO vault at Aviano.

Retrieve activation codes

to trade for your son.

Whoa.

Aviano?

It's an air base.

Activation codes?

Christina never made it to Berlin

with that thumb drive.

If these kidnappers have that drive...

It would mean they would know the location

of a hundred missing nukes.

Why you?

They need someone who can get in.

My rank with the CIA will grant me access

to any NATO base.

Yeah, but getting into the vault

under heavy security

is gonna be nearly impossible.

Which is why we need

to make one stop first.

Why are you doing this?

We don't have any money.

You know, you remind me

a little of myself at your age.

I hated myself at your age.

All right, listen up, everybody.

There have been

a lot of rumors flying around,

so I wanted to take a moment

to address them.

First of all, everything's fine.

Collin needed to return home

due to a family emergency,

and JJ and Sophie are accompanying.

I'll keep you all updated.

But in the meantime,

who's excited to go to Rome

and sing at the Vatican?

Yeah.

This is an MI6 safe house.

It's got everything we need

for this mission:

weapons, external hard drive

for the codes.

There's even a surveillance van

in the garage.

Best of all, no one's here right now.

Day manager is this little old lady

who goes home at 7:00.

You sure we shouldn't loop in CIA,

get support from local authorities?

I'm not risking my son, JJ.

- This is the only way to play it.

- Hmm.

Looks like a pretty solid

security camera system on the perimeter.

Yes, but on the ground floor only.

We'll break in from the second story.

Put this on till we're inside.

Okay, we're in and out in five minutes.

Let's go.

The old lady's got a lot of birds.

Yeah, let's get to work.

But let's be careful.

A lot of these safe houses

are booby-trapped for security.

Got everything?

- Yeah. Let's move.

- Okay.

There's the van.

Just time the gap.

Jump through.

Time the gap?

I need a much bigger gap than you.

Huh.

How'd the birds get out?

I don't know.

Hey, little guys.

Booby trap!

Get 'em off!

What's that lady feed these things?

My guess? Nothing!

Oh, thank God.

Oh, sh*t.

JJ, now!

Who the hell trains attack finches?

British have a strange sense of humor.

We better move.

We may have company.

Goodbye, nasty widdle birdies.

Aw, did that hurt your widdle beak?

f*ck.

- So you're like, what, ten now?

- Fourteen.

Like I said, 14.

Got any boyfriends yet?

Uh...

I don't know, maybe.

Oh. Okay.

I knew it. That's why I'm an analyst.

Although you got my age wrong.

Here's some advice.

When you go in for that first kiss,

don't be afraid to use lots of tongue.

Get sloppy.

- Really?

- Oh, heck yeah.

Be like a cleaner shrimp

in a shark's mouth.

Explore that wet hole

like a blind man's cane.

Wow.

You know, it's really surprising

no one's snatched you up yet.

Yeah, well, I do the snatching.

Hey, did you shut the fan off?

No. Why?

Oh!

This is taking too long.

They're highly trained professionals.

They'll be fine.

They're eating my n*pples!

Or maybe not.

- Can I help you?

- Yes.

Kim, CIA.

We're here to see Colonel Minelli.

All right, the vault with the codes

is in that building.

Bobbi, can you hack through security

and get access?

What, am I new?

And?

- So, what, that's it?

- Of course not.

Let me just whip the spreadsheet

with the detailed plan out of my a*s.

Yes, that's it.

Kim, you son of a b*tch.

You guys on good terms?

- He's like a brother.

- Oh, that's nice.

In that he hates me,

we were in love with the same woman

and I owe him about eight grand.

Colonel, it's good to see you.

This is my good friend Colonel Minelli,

who has a lot of trouble

expressing his affection.

And, Colonel, this is my...

stepbrother JJ, who is loaning us his van,

my stepdaughter Sophie and my...

wife Bobbi.

You're about ten years late.

Did you bring me my money?

Of course.

Welcome, my old friend!

- Benvenuta.

- Mm-hmm.

Benvenuta.

Benvenut...Yeah.

Why did you decide to come here now

after all of these years?

Family vacay.

Heading north to Lake Como.

We thought we'd stop in, say hello

and settle some old business.

But that does not make sense,

because Lake Como is west.

That's what I've been telling them.

But no, because Mom and Dad

are too busy arguing to listen to me,

and Uncle JJ can't hear anything

because his ears are cauliflowered shut.

Dua Lipa?

Oh, she's good. Yeah.

Okay.

Honey, um, can you two boys do

your catching up quickly?

'Cause Sophie and I need

to use the restroom

and we have those dinner reservations

I've been so looking forward to.

Mm-mm.

Your stepbrother is quite large.

Yes. He used to do MMA,

hence the hearing damage.

Well, you picked a good day to visit.

Oh? How is that?

Oh, boy.

It's just down the hall and to the right.

- I'll wait here.

- Grazie.

Okay.

Oh. Electromagnetic radiation readings.

This must be the server room.

Here.

A way for the men

to blow off some steam.

- I can see that.

- It's good to see you, Kim.

And I'm glad you came here

to finally settle your debt.

Yes, about that...

Nine thousand euros should cover

everything you owe me, plus interest.

I forgot it was that much.

Do you take Discover?

Cash only.

But maybe he can help pay your debt.

Let's go double or nothing.

We have got to tread water

while Bobbi gets the codes.

Most of the men on this base must be

in here, so it's the perfect diversion.

I'd knock that guy out in ten seconds.

Negative. You'll engage with him

until I give you the all clear.

You end this fight any sooner,

and you'll be doing desk duty

for the rest of your career.

I want to be on desk duty.

I meant you won't be doing desk duty

for the rest of your career.

- Is the password working?

- Give me a minute.

Oh, Kim better be right about this.

Your friend fights like a gelding,

afraid to hit.

Come on, Bobbi.

I'm in.

Hurry. We have to make this quick.

Oh, we do?

'Cause I thought we could do a TikTok

and have a snack.

Now, JJ. Now.

But I do take traveler's checks.

- What happened? I gave you the signal.

- What-what...

I can't breathe. It's like a marathon.

Went way longer than I thought.

Three and a half minutes?

Here, let me help you up.

Help me up.

Sir.

- You need to come see this.

- What is it?

It's about the chief, sir.

We think he's gone rogue.

Replay it, please.

The NATO base at Aviano just notified us

that Kim, Jones and Ulf entered the base

- about four hours ago.

- So?

So, apparently, the activation codes

for 100 lost suitcase nukes

just downloaded from their server.

Satellite imagery is tracking a van

heading to Rome.

Bring 'em all in now.

Get me the DOD.

We have to go to DEFCON one.

Isn't that a bit extreme?

We just found those nukes.

Kim and JJ supervised the mission.

The CIA will think we've gone rogue.

- We're as good as dead.

- Had to be done.

Won't be long now.

That's what you said an hour ago.

Hey, I know this is hard,

but you know the drill.

They'll make contact, show proof of life,

then give us the drop-off.

We'll get Connor.

Collin.

Right.

Oh, my God.

I never should've let you guys

go out unsupervised.

Uh, we were supervised.

You were spying on us, remember?

Apparently not well enough.

Maybe Bobbi's right.

I'm losing my edge.

What happened to it?

I didn't want to be just that guy anymore.

I wanted to be something... more.

Here we go.

Oh, my God, he looks so scared.

Okay, that's an industrial area

on the edge of the city.

We can get there in 30 minutes.

Let's roll.

That's the location.

Okay, boys, we're out of sight.

Uh, a few blocks away from you,

and satellite is up.

Any activity visible?

Negative.

That's weird.

No one's been in or out of there

in the last 24 hours.

It's a trap.

Oh, my God.

Kim. Wake up.

Kim!

Where are we?

I have no idea.

I've totally messed this up, JJ.

I put my son in great danger.

I haven't done much better.

Sophie's supposed to be having

the time of her life.

Instead, she's trying to track us down

before we're brutally k*lled,

saddling her with a lifetime

of debilitating guilt

and unresolved daddy issues

that she'll work out on a pole.

You're right. Yours is much worse.

Jason Jones.

It's been a minute.

Crane.

You son of a b*tch.

What have you done with my son?

He's fine.

But if I were you,

I'd be much more concerned about... you.

sh**t.

They're gone.

Oh, my God, JJ.

Ugh. Our trackers have been dumped.

We're blind.

Maybe not.

I hacked JJ's phone in Venice.

And I have advanced

satellite tracking on this.

Okay.

What's this about?

Who are you working for?

Patience.

Looks like you've made

quite a life for yourself, JJ.

Maybe I'll pay them a visit

after you're dead.

Sophie's going to need a new daddy.

Enough. Time for work.

Nancy?

That's right, Jason Jones.

God, I love this thing.

Find Solo. I am Kylo Ren.

I don't understand.

When did you have time to color your hair?

I created a character

and infiltrated your world months ago.

That anonymous tip you got

on how to get the weapons cache?

That was me.

I got you to use your own agent

to steal the locations of the nukes.

And then I paid off the choir board

and got your son to Europe.

And that was all it took to get you

to evade your own CIA detail,

to come here and break into Aviano.

I've embedded myself

into every aspect of your lives.

So it was you who changed

all my passwords?

I haven't been able

to watch DIRECTV for a month.

What? No.

No, you idiot.

That was probably a program update.

You need to use

a two-step verification process now.

Yeah, it's true.

I had to do that for all my Google stuff.

You done?

And God forbid you enter

your password wrong.

You can get locked out of your own phone.

It's facial recognition.

Hello, my face hasn't changed.

I mean... Okay, stopping.

I'm going to need those codes now.

Where's my son?

First things first.

Get him down.

Never! I...

Yeah. Oh, yes, get me down.

You can't give her those codes.

People will die, Kim.

I'm as good as my word. A deal's a deal.

It's my boy.

Thank you.

Put him in the car and get rid of the boy.

No. You gave me your word!

I'm not gonna k*ll him. Crane is.

The boy was just bait,

and now you're my insurance.

Don't do this, please!

What are you really up to?

Let's just say this choir trip

has been very helpful.

What is that?

This is a powerful neurotoxin.

Every muscle in your body

will start to slowly seize up...

Including, finally, your diaphragm...

Whereupon...

You will suffocate and die.

Enjoy the ride, Jason Jones.

There he is.

- He's barely breathing.

- Start compressions.

Okay.

One, two, three, four,

five, six, seven, eight.

What are you doing?

It's atropine and adrenaline.

It'll keep his heart going

till his body can metabolize the toxin.

Well, hurry.

JJ!

Oh, I don't feel so good.

Is Bobbi okay?

That's a lot of vomit.

- She'll be fine.

- Okay.

Where's Mr. Kim?

Oh, no.

We've got to get to Collin

before Crane kills him.

- What? Oh, God.

- We got to go. We got to go.

Hey. Wake up.

Hey.

Stop. That's not the way

you wake someone up.

You have to say their name.

Bobbi, wake up.

Bobbi, wake up!

Bobbi.

- Yes, yes.

- Bobbi.

- Help me.

- Let's go.

My arms and my legs

aren't working too good.

Yeah, and my face is k*lling me.

Did you see or hear anything

when you were dead?

Just the sound of you barfing.

You're gonna have to drive.

I can't drive if I'm gonna hack

traffic cameras to find Crane.

Well, I can't drive.

- I can drive.

- Negative.

We don't have time

to argue about this, JJ.

- I'm taking driver's ed soon.

- Yeah, in two years.

You've let me steer.

You know I can do this.

Okay. Okay, go for it.

You'll be fine.

Punch it, Chewie.

Your left!

- Whoa!

- On your right!

Oh, my God!

Good luck in driver's ed.

That's not helping.

- Does this go on my insurance?

- Reverse.

Go, go, go!

Not one word.

You did that on purpose.

- Did not.

- Can you guys cut it out?

I got a hit on their plate

from a traffic camera.

Satellite's tracking 'em north

through Chianti.

No!

Sorry, kid.

Run!

You're gonna tell me Nancy's plan.

What's wrong, JJ?

Neurotoxin got you down?

Oh, look. I forgot I had this.

Oh, come on! Let me do it.

No! I've seen you drive.

Why is she trying to k*ll you?

Aah! Sh...

- Oh, sh...

- Here, you-your turn.

She's trying to k*ll you,

but she's a terrible shot!

What?

That's Crane's.

JJ!

- Are you okay?

- Yeah.

- Other than Bobbi sh**ting me.

- Sorry.

I'm fine. Can you crack this?

Ugh. With my eyes closed.

Is that how you sh**t?

Yeah, it's just so loud and scary.

Do you want me to do that?

You're doing a terrible job.

It's going to scar.

- I don't care how I look.

- I know.

- How can he just...

- Okay, let's not watch.

I don't believe it. Any of it.

I mean, why would they take my dad?

He's just a nurse.

JJ will find him. I promise.

Ever since my mom died,

my dad's been totally overprotective.

He makes me FaceTime him

anytime I go anywhere.

And if I don't answer,

he FaceTimes my friends.

I know what you mean.

JJ treats me like I'm still nine.

I mean, he still walks me

to school every day

and tries to put me on his shoulders.

That's actually kind of cute.

Yeah, well, he's six-five, so one time,

I almost got decapitated by a ceiling fan.

The truth is, your dad is...

just trying to be a good dad.

Maybe JJ is, too.

They just need to realize

we're not kids anymore.

Yeah.

We're not.

Collin, I have to level with you, okay?

Your dad is the head of

covert operations for the CIA.

What?

And you're not going to believe this,

but Mrs. Buck is actually a t*rror1st.

Your dad traded himself in to save you.

Yeah.

It's for real.

How are you so calm?

I'm not.

Thanks for coming to save me.

You would've done the same for me.

Bring him.

It's somewhere here.

Break it open.

Who are you working for?

Let's just say

I represent a group

of very powerful people

who had their fortune frozen

by your government

and every one of its corrupt allies.

Oligarchs.

Friends. Patriots.

My husband was one of them.

Leaving him in financial ruin

drove him to his death.

Well, he was married to you,

so that may have also contributed.

I'm going to see to it we get back

all that is rightfully ours

and make those righteous nations pay,

with a little interest.

Suitcase nuke.

Must have been hidden behind this wall

for over 60 years.

And thanks to you,

our ticket to our reparations.

- Why hide it in a church?

- Who would search a church?

Plus, it wasn't necessarily intended

to go off here.

Just to be stored until the time

and moment was right.

You will never get away with this.

I've searched everything.

There's no clue of where they're headed

- or what they're gonna strike.

- I'm in.

Ugh, to his dating profile.

It's not helpful.

It's actually really sad.

I'm gonna try and grab some sleep

on a real bed.

- Good night, guys.

- Good night, Collin.

Night, Collin.

- Hey.

- Hey.

You should try to get some rest, too.

Can't. I'm not tired.

Collin seems like a nice kid.

Yeah, he's great.

- You know you're torturing him, right?

- What?

You can't tell?

He likes you.

I mean, like-likes you.

You're crazy. He's one of my best friends.

That's what all cute girls say

about guys they're torturing.

- Do you like him?

- Of course I like him.

But I like-like this kid named Ryan.

The jock?

Yeah.

For a highly trained operative,

you can be pretty blind.

I'm in.

For real this time.

I've got everything: emails, texts.

I also found this.

It's about how Nancy's husband died.

Whoa.

Hey, this is new.

From Nancy.

She sent this two hours ago.

What?

She's gonna detonate a WMD

under Rome's financial district.

We swept the sewers and ran into a signal

coming from behind a locked vault.

It looks like they're protecting

a central hub, just like you suggested.

- Have you breached it?

- Technical is setting up now.

We're clear.

Moving in.

There's nothing here. No WMD.

And look at this IED.

It's a fake.

I don't understand.

Seems like you got played.

We'd appreciate it

if you'll settle this game

in your own time, not ours.

Agent Jones just called in a fake

b*mb threat under the financial district.

- That makes no sense.

- No, it doesn't.

Maps, fake IEDs. I don't get it.

That email... could it have

been sent to mislead us?

This was all a distraction.

Well, why would she need to distract us?

Where is she really?

I think I know.

We have equipment

for the choir performance to unload.

You'll never get all the way in...

Not with the G7 security.

Ordinarily, I'd say that you're right,

but I am not ordinary.

Prego.

Shouldn't we tell security

to clear the area?

Police aren't gonna believe me anymore.

Pretty sure that was part of Nancy's plan.

This place is massive.

My dad could be anywhere.

Wait, your dad's phone...

Crane destroyed it.

Did he carry a spare battery?

Always, for whenever he was "on call."

And all the phones issued at Langley have

E-tags on their batteries so they can be...

Tracked.

Bobbi, can you look up Kim's phone records

and find his battery's tracking signal?

Yes, but first, I'm gonna need

the Vatican's Wi-Fi password.

No, I'm not. I-I can do it.

What do you think it is?

"Pope"? Probably.

He's so full of himself.

We've cleared the room. Good luck.

Yeah, s, s. He just came through here.

Thank you.

Langley just located

a battery signal from Kim.

Quite inspiring, isn't it?

Some of the finest works of art

the world may never see,

stuck here in storage.

Well, this is where your journey ends

and mine is just beginning.

This is a

message for the leaders of the free world.

There is a b*mb under the Vatican.

And we will

detonate it if our demands are not met.

And if you try to leave...

boom.

We've recently acquired the location

of a hundred nuclear weapons

hidden around the world.

We want $50 billion per G7 country,

or there will be no more G7 countries.

Wire transfer details will be sent

after this message.

You have 30 minutes to comply.

We got to move POTUS now.

Okay, the signal's getting stronger.

Okay. This is as far as you two go.

What are you talking about?

- This is way too dangerous.

- But I can help. I...

You guys need to get back

to the choir and warn them.

No, I'm not leaving here without you.

Hey.

It's been really great being on the same

team with you again the last couple days.

But I need you to let me

go at it alone from here.

Okay?

Okay.

Okay.

If we survive, the CIA better let us

write about this for our college apps.

Let's go.

You don't have to do this, Nancy.

What about all our children up there?

The choir has served its purpose.

They were just my Trojan horse.

How else could I get this close to the G7?

My God.

When they announced last spring

that the G7 session would bring together

all of the most corrupt leaders

who destroyed my life to this one spot,

this holiest of places,

it was too perfect to pass up.

As long as those self-righteous men

will listen to reason and pay,

no one needs to die, except for you.

Okay. You take down

the tough guys, I'll handle Nancy.

- You sure?

- Yeah.

She's a brain, not a fighter.

You can tell by the way she moves,

the way she carries herself,

the way she surrounds herself with large,

attractive men to do her bidding.

Did you hear the part where I said

"large, attractive men to do her bidding"?

That was meant for you.

Move.

Look what I found.

Oh, well, look who's back.

You just won't die, will you, JJ?

Well, I find your story

fascinating, Nancy.

I'd really like to see how it ends.

It could end like this.

Ugh.

Come on, old man. Get up.

You fight a lot like

your friends from the platoon.

All cowards.

They begged me not to k*ll them.

Callahan, Bridges,

even Christina.

Christina?

Yeah.

I planted a copy of the thumb drive

she stole in your home,

along with the g*n I used to k*ll her.

It's not a good look for you, JJ.

You were in my home?

I spared the dog 'cause I'm a dog guy.

Oh, and I watered your plants,

you know, 'cause I'm a plant guy.

But Blueberry...

sleeps with the fishes.

Oh, sh*t.

And he should not have done that.

Forgive me, Lord,

for what I'm about to do.

Release the kraken.

Crane, if you could please stop moving,

I'd like to sh**t JJ now...

See? Totally handled.

Why? I'm already tied up.

Quick, cut me loose.

- I'm going after Nancy.

- Gotcha.

Hey.

- Hey, where were you guys?

- Long story.

Where's Dr. Brookey?

Hey. I really missed you.

Ryan, seriously, okay?

I really need to tell him something.

Okay? We have got to get out of here.

There's...

Oh, my God.

I have Tasers on both of your backs.

Turn around quietly, or I'll use them.

Sophie?

My little muffin chop.

Ooh, you've grown.

Three words: Beeyoo. Tee. Full.

But... you were dead.

When Bobbi threw the grenades,

we ran back to our apartment

and dove into our new cast-iron tub.

If we went with Todd's idea

of white porcelain, we would be dead.

Hush.

Let's move, or I'll tell the real guards

you're phonies.

Aah! It's in my eyes!

Not fun, is it?

He activated a k*ll switch.

We have two ways

to stop this b*mb from going off.

Either I can figure out

how to deactivate it

or we got to get

that k*ll switch from Crane.

On it.

How are you involved in this?

We used to work for the cartel.

That's how we met Bishop Crane.

He asked if we'd freelance

on this little shindig.

We said no at first, but our trip to Cabo

got postponed because of the hurricane,

and we're about to do a big reno,

so here we are.

You have to stop Nancy from doing this,

or we're all going to die.

- That is not gonna happen.

- Why not?

She cray, but she's also smart.

Nancy won't let this end with a bang.

Well, at least not while she's still here.

Do you know her exact 20?

Hmm.

It's been nice

catching up with you, Sophie,

but we have to end this little reunion

and get back to our post.

It's our job to make sure that

no one leaves before the show is over.

Like it is for you.

Get away from her.

Oh, isn't this cute?

It's the nerds from Stranger Things.

I forgot my medicine.

Feel less guilty about k*lling him

in my dream.

Why don't you join your friend

and get the hell out of here

before I kick your a*s!

Hey!

Sophie!

- Oh, I don't think... He's already...

- Yeah, I didn't need to do that.

But thanks.

Sure. You were awesome.

Remind me to thank Ryan for all his help.

Come on. We've got to find JJ.

- What are you doing?

- Anything I can.

And now, from America, the children

from North Virginia High School.

Bobbi, where's JJ heading?

Sophie?

He's chasing the dude

with the k*ll switch.

Let's pray that he finds him,

'cause I cannot figure out

how to turn this thing off.

Tell them they have 23 minutes

to change their minds

or else they'll learn the hard way.

I'll be at the heliport in ten.

Freeze!

Connelly, you don't understand.

What have you done, Chief?

I'm not one of them.

If I were, you'd already be dead.

And you just let the real bad guy go.

What the hell is this all about?

How do we know you're telling the truth?

Connelly, who allowed you to use your

CIA credentials to spy on your ex-wife?

You did.

And, Hargear, who kept it quiet

when at the Langley checkpoint

security found something

vibrating in your bag?

All right, I trust him.

It was a toy for my kid.

You don't have any kids.

Guys, we need to evacuate everyone now.

We tried, but they say

it's not a credible threat.

Bottom line, no one's leaving.

My God.

So, what do we do now?

Put all our chips on JJ.

Bobbi, I need eyes on JJ.

Uh, headed north past Castel Sant'Angelo.

Last of your unit.

You should be proud, JJ.

Where is it?!

JJ.

Come on, JJ.

JJ.

Wait.

If this is heaven,

it's not what I expected.

No, no.

You did it.

Holy sh*t!

Yes!

Come on.

That's, like, three Hail Marys, tops.

Nancy Buck.

You're not going anywhere.

Really?

I could still smother the life

out of you right here.

Mamma, no.

Don't leave me again!

I promise I'll be good!

All right, all right.

Mamma...

I won't tell anyone you hit me anymore!

Please!

He's not my son.

Mamma, per favore.

Get off me!

Freeze! Get down on the ground

and spread 'em!

That was a close one, Chief.

I'm glad you're back.

- Dad.

- Collin.

Oh, my God.

I thought you were dead.

I thought you were a nurse.

We have a lot to talk about.

I was so scared I was gonna lose you.

Thanks for coming back for me.

You know you were

pretty good out there, right?

You're not a desk guy.

You should go back to being you.

I'll be fine.

I promise.

And I'm sorry for the way

I've been acting recently.

You don't have to apologize.

Been hard for me, emotionally,

just watching you grow up.

I didn't get to be a part

of your first nine years, and this part...

it's just going too fast.

I know you can take care of yourself.

That's what makes me a little sad.

I really like taking care of you.

I'm just dreading the day

you don't need me anymore.

Well, you have at least a week.

I think you're right about Collin.

I didn't see it at first, but thanks.

So, what I'm sensing here is,

basically, you've said I'm right.

Twice.

Don't get c*ck.

Mr. Jones.

We need to take you to the hospital

for some observations.

Okay.

Can I come with him?

Uh, I'm sorry, miss. Are you family?

He's my dad.

Of course.

This is so weird.

I dreamed it would be a view like this

where I'd be standing here

with Ryan on this trip.

Maybe even have my first kiss.

I'm sorry it didn't work out

the way you wanted.

I'm not.

It's the right view,

but I had the wrong person.

Do you maybe want to go

to the homecoming dance with me?

Yeah. That'd be nice.

Whoa.

Do you think JJ's watching us somewhere?

Probably.

Oh, for the love of Pete, are you crying?

I'm not crying.

- You're crying.

- You cried first.

How much is this satellite

costing the CIA, anyway?

You don't want to know.

Hey, what are you doing?

I'm giving them some space.

All right. Fine.

Hey. You know, you and I

could end up being family someday.

Hey. This was a nice moment.

Let's not ruin it, okay?

Speaking of new family,

when we get back...

I'm gonna make

a lot of changes in my life.

Mm...

Yep. A lot of changes.

Isn't that right,

my little cleaner shrimp?

Mm...

Holy sh*t.

Hey.

That is so embarrassing.

- Really? I think it's kind of cute.

- Mm-mm.

Chief?

Do not move.

Yeah, no sh*t.

What do I do?

There's only one thing to do.

Run!

Get off me!

Connelly, what are you doing here?

Chief! It's a happy ending.

Connelly, you got a flight to catch.

Don't you think you should get moving?

I got plenty of time.

Come on, have a drink. Let's celebrate.

You know I don't drink while I'm on duty.

It's not professional.

One drink.

- Yeah!

- Come on!

That's me!

That's me!

That's me!

For always. I mean it.