01x07 - Expiration Day

[bunniefuu]

Say, mother, do you find me more
attractive like this...

Or like this?

- Can I see them again?

- Of course.

What? Huh!

Huh? Ah!

- Oh, it's so difficult
to choose.

- Think it over,
and get back to me.
I'll be here all day.

- Say hello to brak,
fully rested and barrel-chested.

- Brak, am I more handsome
with arms folded or not folded?

Which do you prefer?

- I like the unfolded.

- What's wrong with the folded?

- Well, there's nothing wrong--

-Let the boy answer.
He's got eyes in his head.

Make the call.

- I don't know, dad.
I think I like the folded.

- Your mother doesn't like
this one.

She thinks it makes me look
hideous and ugly.

- I never said that.

-Why you want to know, dad?

- Because there comes
a time in a man's life

When he needs to look
his very best.

When that time comes
for me, brak,

I don't want to be caught
with my pants down,

I'll tell you that.

Let me show you
what that would look like.

- Sit down.

- I look better sitting anyway.

-Whatever you say, dear.

Brak, I need you to go
down the street

And invite thundercleese
for dinner.

It's his birthday, you know.

- I know, mom.
That's why I got him these.

You know how much he likes jugs.

- Brak, I think we need to have
a little talk.

- No time for that, dad.

I need to get these babies
over to thundercleese.

Here I go!

[Thundercleese singing
indistinctly]

Hey, mr. Thundercleese.
What's that you were singing?

- It is the robotic hymn
of doom.

- Well, I always say

Nothing livens up
a robotic hymn of doom

Better than an amazing pair
of jugs.

Happy birthday, junky!

- They're beautiful.

On any other day, I would revel
in their splendor

And add them to my collection,

But today is my darkest day.

- What are you talking about?
It's your birthday.

Aren't you supposed to be happy?

- Not on this birthday.

At dawn this morning,
my weapons systems
were deactivated.

- What? How come?

- I am now considered old
and obsolete.

- Who did this to you?

- My creators, moroccobotix.

- Let me at 'em!
I'll murderize the joint.

- The only thing for me now

Is to retire to my fortress
and rust.

- Well, who's gonna
take care of your yard?

It's not looking so good.

- I've been dreading
this day for weeks.

I was too depressed
to fertilize.

- I'll fertilize it for you.
Game on, baby!

[Thundercleese growls]

Yeah, I'm talking to you,
full metal jackass. Ha ha ha!

- Zorak, quit giving him
the business.

They shut off
his weapons today.

He can't fight anymore.

- Really? So if I was to, say,
throw something at him...

- Well, why would you
want to--aah!

Ooh! That hurt!

- Ha! I brakked you.
How do you like it?

- I don't like it,
but I will not retaliate.

I don't care anymore.

- Yeah?

Well, do you care to kiss this?

Come on, kiss it.
Kiss it!

♪ Nyah nyah nyah-nyah nyah

Fire it up, bumhead.
See what you got left.

[Thundercleese roaring]

Ha!

- Alas, I am humiliated.
I am no longer a worthy foe.

Curse you,
moroccobotix incorporated!

- Aw, come on, birthday boy.
Don't be so down in the dumps.

Let's go down to
gravy jones' locker

And drown your troubles
in sweet meat drippings.

- I'm finished with gravy.

I'm finished
with everything.

- But--but--but--

- Farewell, brak.

- Farewell, my steel magnolia.

♪ My hero, my neighbor

♪ At the very least,
my friend ♪

♪ If ever I should
see you again ♪

♪ I'd say

♪ How you doing, pal?

♪ Funny running into you
like this ♪

♪ How long have you been
shopping here? ♪

♪ Did you know that the grapes
are on sale? ♪

♪ I'm a little light,
could you send me a 5? ♪

♪ But for now, I'll just say

♪ Good-bye

- Left side? Right side?

Brows up? Brows down?

Mustache? No mustache?

- Not now, hon.
The news is on.

- Your liver may be plotting
to replace you and your family.

Don't miss part two
of our special report,

"Your liver: the enemy within."

- Oh, dear.

- Don't be frightened,

Mother.

They're just trying to scare us
to drum up ratings.

- You don't know anything.

You're a fool.

On a lighter note,
yet another giant asteroid

Is headed for a doomsday
collision with our planet,

But not to worry.

Thundercleese will save us
like he always does.

- No, he won't.

- Of course he will.

Now, shut up!
And good night.

- This is a calamity,
mater and pater.

That asteroid's gonna
smash us flatter

Than skinny jack,
the paper-thin lumberjack.

- Brak, don't be such
a dreadful alarmist.

You heard the news jockey.

Thundercleese will use
his weapons to rescue us.

- So you see, honey,
you have nothing to worry about.

- You don't understand, mom.

Thundercleese's weapons
don't work anymore.

He's been deactivated.

- Now, who would do such
a thing to a nice man
like thundercleese,

Especially on his birthday?

- Moroccobotix incorporated,
that's who.

Thank you for asking.

They said he was too old.

- Well, we're all going to die.

That's just great.

- But I don't want to die.

I'm almost finished
with my macrame.

- Brak, stop driving your little
baby car around st. Babysburg,

And take your asteroid-smashing
like a man.

- Wait a minute,
I've got an idea.

We need to go over to
moroccobotix

And get them to rearm
thundercleese

So he can save us
and we can live.

Hooray for brak and his idea.
Hooray!

- Uh, you go ahead, brak.

Your mother and I are
going to stay here

And play snuggle bunnies.

Hey, snuggle bunny?

[Making kissing sounds]

- You're going with him.
- Yes, ma'am.

- Brak, I can't see.
Am I on the road?

- Not really.

Gee, wonder how my old pal
thundercleese is holding up.

- This looks expensive.

I'm gonna break it.

- Please don't.

I was awarded that jug
for the battle of the--

[Crash]

- Ha!

Hey, is this a picture
of your mom?

Aw, she looks a little dry.

- Please don't.

- Have a drink, mom.
[Toilet flushing]

It's on me.

Oh, yeah, that's
the stuff. Ha ha ha!

- Snappy morocco
at your service, gentlemen.

How can I assist you?

- We are somewhat concerned

About this little
asteroid situation.

- Why'd you turn off
thundercleese?

- Ah, yes.

The thundercleese model.

I developed it
when I was 14.

Not bad for a first project,

But that unit was
much too durable.

- What are you saying?

Or how about,
what are you saying?

- I'm saying I need products
that will malfunction

And need to be replaced
at great expense.

So feast your eyes
on the future, gentlemen.

I give you...palmcleese.

- Oh, would you look at that?

It's little baby thundercleese.

Is he potty trained?

Can he go by himself?

- Stand down, creature,
or feel my wrath.

- I have miniaturized
the palmcleese circuitry

Without compromising
its destructive power.

- I am a superior model.

I will now demonstrate
my superiorness.

Away!

- The situation will
soon be under control.

I'm a genius.

Watch the screen,
my friends.

- Aah! It hurts.

- Oh, no!

It looks like palmcleese
has been asteroid-smacked.

- Yes, but fear not.

I have an even smaller
and more efficient model

That I'm beta-testing.

Poppins,
send me microcleese.

- We can't find him.
We made him too small.

- You're fired, poppins.
You're not a genius.

Well, I guess we're
all going to die.

- Ay!

- Not if you reactivate
thundercleese.

Open up your head holes, slappy,
and listen while I testify.

♪ There's an asteroid coming
in the dead of the night ♪

♪ It's gonna smash us
into bits ♪

♪ We need our trusty
thundercleese ♪

♪ Before that mother hits

♪ Oh, we both know
what must be done ♪

♪ Do it, slappy,
while we're young ♪

♪ Turn on thundercleese

♪ Please

- Your song has
deeply moved me,

Especially that
"smash to bits" part.

Poppins, reactivate
thundercleese.

- Uh, sir,
you let poppins go.

- Did i? Oh, well.

Computer, reactivate
thundercleese.

- How could you fire
your own father,

You heartless b*stard.

- Fine. I'll
do it myself.

- Thanks, slappy.

I'm gonna go tell
thundercleese the good news.

- Come on, where's the rest
of your stuff?

I want to bust it up.

- You have destroyed
everything I own except for my--

[Crash]

- Ha ha ha!

- That's all of it.

- Thundercleese, good news.
You got your powers back.

You're up and running, buddy.

- Can this be true?

- And how.

Why don't you boot up
and give it a try?

- Aw, now don't
be that way, mate.

I was just 'avin'
a spot of fun.

Blimey! Aah!

- All systems go.

I'm back.

- You go get you some,
buddy.

Get up there
and kick some asteroid.

- And that was
the scene this morning

As thundercleese destroyed
the asteroid and saved us all.

Locally,
sheriff julius orange

Declared the liver
replication epidemic

Completely under control.

- Oh, is it, now?

[All laughing]