02x05 - Back To The Present

[bunniefuu]

That feels good!

Hard day at the button, dear?

Oh, brutal. Brutal!
l had to push the button...

on and off 5 times!

That Spacely is a sl*ve driver.

What the--?

Water level rising.
Water level rising.

All buildings elevate to zone 4.

l can't swim!

l never could!

Level still rising.

We can't go any higher!

What do you mean
it won't go any higher?!

You don't know
what you're doing, you a*s!

The mutants!

Woman!

♪ Who is the man in the suit? ♪

♪ Who is the cat with the beak? ♪

♪ Do you really want to feel him? ♪

♪ Harvey attorney ♪

♪ Habeas corpus ♪

♪ Marvey attorney ♪

♪ Harvey Birdman,
Attorney at Law ♪

All right, see, this one's
actually very well-balanced.

See how quick--
l can do it quick, too.

Look out!

Come on in!

Let's see here...

The transportation belt,
it's broken!

Well, how will
we get there, George?

Oh, do we have to walk?

- Come on!
- Ouch!

We can make it.

Are we there yet?

Hang in there, everybody!

We can do this!

Dad, can we rest?

No! Have to keep moving!

Gets too cold at nightfall!

Hey, Birdman!
Get that thing l sent ya?

Yeah, sure did.
Right here.

Just checkin'!

You're one thorough hippo!

Yes, sir!

All righty, then.

Well, gotta run.
See y'all tomorrow.

George! We have to stop!

Astro, he--he's fallen behind!

Aw, rit's roray!
Ro ron rithout me!

Ro rold.

Look away, son. Look away.

Oh, help, please!

Oh, please!

Ow! Ow! Ow!

Ow! Ow! Ow! Ouch.

Please, make yourselves at home!

Ooh, Sansabelt.
You don't see that much anymore.

You guys from Florida?

No. We're from the future.

Yeah, the 21st Century.

The magnificent far-off year of 2002!

Really?

Yes, talking-ape man!

We are from a society
much advanced over your own!

A society driven by sprockets!

A technological marvel...

that gives us items
such as this!

Who's feeling Pea-nutty?

So, need something notarized?

Nah, we came back to sue you all
for completely ruining the planet.

Well, now, l'm not so sure
you can say...

without a doubt
that we're actually ruin--

What is that?

That's what you get when you genetically
modify corn a little too much.

l'll take the case!

Great! Here's all
the environmental information...

you'll need right here.

- What are these?
- Punch cards.

ln the future,
that's how we input data...

into machines
we call ''computers.''

Look out!

You wanted to see me?

They're trying to get me, Birdman!

Who are?

The Grays!

l'm sorry, what?

They've come
to anally probe me!

Third kind.
Help me tear this.

Phil, what makes
you think that--

That's just corn.

Yeah, see? l go to work


while my wife stays home
and does all the housework...

in an apron.

That is advanced.

And the way we get meals is...

we just press
a couple of buttons, and bam!

lt's done just like that!

Amazing. Excuse me.

OK, so, l want to know--
what happens?

Will there be a cure for cancer?
When am l going to die?

Did video ever definitively
k*ll the radio star?

What are tonight's
''Big Pick'' numbers?

Those are things even
a simple schoolchild knows.

Elroy?



But couldn't you, by being here
and changing the tiniest little thing...

alter the course
of the entire future?

Come on!

♪ l got that thing ♪

♪ He sent me ♪

You don't happen to also have
the Quick Pick numbers in there?

lt's people!

The Mediterranean wrap
is people!

No, wait.
Maybe it's baba ganoush.

Sorry.

What is that?

That?

That's the jury.

l don't think so.

Much better.

OK! Let's start with--

Mr. Birdman.

l'm sorry, what?

You're gonna call Mr. Birdman first.

No! Stop! Too cute!

Pocket Nostradamus here
thinks he knows the future.

Huh? lnteresting!

Because, see, no one knows
the future except me!

Mentok! The Mind-taker!

And to prove it,
l say we start with Mr. Fr--

Mr. F--

Mr. F--

Mr.--

l must...resist...

Mr. Fr--r-r-- Mr.--

Almost there!

Mr. Free--

Mr. Frizz---

Mr. Frizz--

OK, it's Mr. Birdman.

Mind-taker.

Planet Earth.

Have you stopped to consider
its awe-inspiring beauty?

The trees.

The rivers.

The mountains.

The lingerie models.

Didn't see that coming, did ya?
Huh? Smartie.

Are we k*lling this beauty?

Some would say not. But...

l have here in my hand
from the future...

videotaped evidence of
where this planet is headed!

Does anyone know where
we can get a Betamax machine?

Huh?

Here we go.

No! No!

Snackerdooble?

Tell me, Mr. Astro...

in the future,
where you're from...

is it hot or not?

Uh, rot.

There you have it. Not!

Ro! Rot! Rot!

''No, not, not''
A thousand times not.

Nothing further.

Go!

Stay in your lane.
Mind the lines.

Hands at 10 and 2.

Are you going to make a left turn
or spend all afternoon indicating?

You think we're ruining the planet?

- Yes, Birdman, l think we--
- Move it!

Back off! Shrink g*n!

Your Excursion will be
Expedition-sized!

The key, Birdman, are the 3 Rs.

''Reduce''...

l forget the other ones.

Anyway, you're fine.
You're solar-powered.

Oh, you know how pathetic
it is to be solar-powered?

All the other guys got
their strength from real stuff.

You know, radiation,
chemical spill, coal--

Who got their power from coal?

l don't know. What effect
can one person possibly have...

on the environment?

How was your panda burger?

Pretty good.

l say we find the insensitive,
shortsighted...

self-absorbed people
who are ruining this planet...

and hold them accountable!

So, ladies and gentlemen
of the jury...

we are asking for 3,000...

krizneks?

ln damages.

Ladies and gentlemen
of the Jury-Vac...

lt's, what, August?

And l don't know about you,
but, ooh, l'm freezing!

Come on, what are we talking
about here, ''global warming?''

OK, do you have a verdict?

lt never gives a wrong verdict.

O.J. is--

Nice shoes.

Well, l'm sorry we didn't win.

Not only for your sake,
but for the sake of the aimless...

and painfully unfocused
Democratic Party.

Aw, that's OK,
Great-great-great-great-great...

great-great-great-great-great-
great-granddad!

What?
You mean, l'm your...

That means, at some point
in the future...

l actually get to have sex
with a woman!

No, there's other ways.

Me so horny!

All right,
let's get this over with.

Oh. So sorry.

l didn't know there was...

someone else.

You hussy!
You cheating cob!

Well, l guess we better
get back to the future!

Whoa!

Ah, now that they're gone...

l wonder what profound,
immeasurable effects...

their coming
back in time will have.

Come on!