01x02 - Stitches

[bunniefuu]

JOE: How can a man
sitting in a bar

know what the woman
approaching him contains?

How is the woman
approaching that man

meant to know that she
should turn around and run?

Eyes.

[LAUGHS]

Do you know Susan Feuillet?

Sorry, Joe, I...

This online thing is
a bit weird for me.

BIRDIE'S MOTHER: How did your
date with the sheep farmer go?

You don't want to
do this forever.

BIRDIE: I'm not single
through laziness, Mum.

I do try.

I think you need
to get realistic

about what's still out there.

JOE: Is it strange
I thought about you

when I first woke up today?

Do you have a boyfriend?

BIRDIE: I think so.

I'm Birdie Bell.

I'm writing a feature
on the soup van

for the Weekend magazine.

That's Montana, a
doctor in Algeria.

Medecins Sans Frontieres.
You heard of them?

BIRDIE: Did you
see Joe at the bar?

I haven't heard from him.

Don't wreck it, babe. Just
be the cool girl for once.

I am the cool girl.

JOE: I'm so very sorry
to leave you hanging.

Some stuff with
the family came up.

Can I make it up to you with a
trip to my shack next weekend?

[BOTH LAUGH]

BIRDIE: I thought you
said you wore gloves.

JOE: No.

No, you can't wear gloves
working with sheep.

JOE: You were onto me early.

[EXHALES]

JOE: It's more like a shed
really, but it's mine.

It's a place to retreat to

when the pressures of the world
get a little bit too much.

JOE: My day...

[JOE BLEATS]

Jumping in the shower.

I'll spare you my stink of
diesel, sweat and maggoty fox.

Virginia! What do you...

She's a great character

and I agree it's
such a tragic story.

I'm sorry to raise
it again, I just...

The soup van angle
was already a push.

I can't tell upstairs
their winter soup article

is now about familial abuse,

the over-50s female
homelessness epidemic

and a dying heroin addict.

You know what they'll say.

That you're championing
the female agenda?

Some women over 50

are one life event
away from homelessness.

Tell that to the Steves, Birdie.

I really want to
profile her last days.

A 'depths of the
human soul' story.

People don't want depths
of the human souls

on the weekend.

She's not depressing,
Virginia. She's inspiring.

OK. Do your interviews.

But first, you look up that
Instagram guy I emailed you.

- Offal guy?
- That's the deal.

- Glorious guts.
- Thank you.

[WHISPERS] Hey.

COLLEAGUE: Mm-hm. Yeah.

OK.

- Thanks.
- [PHONE RINGS]

BIRDIE: Oh...

Hey.

JOE: Were you just
thinking about me?

No, I was thinking about

the over-50s female
homelessness epidemic.

JOE: Too bad.

I, on the other hand, have
been thinking about you a lot,

and the wonderful weekend
we're about to have together.

Do you think I need to
pack a shirt for dinner?

Oh, it's completely off-grid.

I mean, there's not even a
town, let alone a restaurant.

JOE: OK, I'll pick
you up at yours.

Unless you want to drive.

Sounds perfect.

You're going to a remote cape

with a man you just
met on a dating app?

I'm reviewing a
couples-only retreat.

You want me to run a quick
background check on him?

What for?

Oh, court records,
land title searches -

anything you can think of.

The world's not as scary
and mean as you think it is.

Doesn't take a second.

This is a love story, not
an investigation. [LAUGHS]

[SIGHS]

[TEACH ME TIGER BY
APRIL STEVENS PLAYS]

♪ Hi, Tiger

♪ Teach me, Tiger,
how to kiss you

♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa-wa

♪ Show me, Tiger,
how to kiss you

♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa-wa

♪ Take my lips, they
belong to you... ♪

[KNOCKING]

- Hi.
- Hey.

Where did you park? I
didn't see your car.

Oh, just down the road a
little bit. You got much?

- Is this it? You travel light.
- Mm. Yeah. [LAUGHS]

- Yeah.
- Ooh.

Oh, what is it?

Hang on, I've just got to
ring Harry's swim coach.

Yeah?

Oh. Is he OK?

Right, and, well,
have you rung Mary?

I'm about to drive out
of town for the weekend.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I understand.

OK, where... where is it?

Mm-hm. Alright, I'm
on my way. OK, bye.

- Everything alright?
- No, there's been an accident.

Harry was running by
the side of the pool.

He slipped and he's
split his head open.

He's at the hospital.
Mary's gone AWOL.

- Right, well, is he OK?
- Yeah, he's conscious.

They're running tests, but...
I'm going to have to...

Oh, you've got to
be with your boy.

No, of course.
You've got to go.

I was looking forward
to a weekend and...

I... I feel awful.

No, don't. Don't even
worry about me. Just go.

OK. Will you still go?

Yeah, no... I don't
know. Yes, probably.

Look, I'll follow as soon as
I find out what's going on.

- Will you?
- Yes. Yeah.

- Alright.
- OK. I'm so sorry.

It's OK. Let me know how he is.

- You go.
- Yeah.

Poor Harry.

Yeah. OK. I'll be in touch.

[DOOR CLOSES]

[METAL SCREECHES]

[WISHES BY HUMAN NATURE
PLAYS OVER RADIO]

[DING!]

JOE: The boy's asleep.
Still no sign of Mary.

She has health issues
related to a thyroid

and has these episodes often.

It's hardest on the children.

I guess I'll have to put my
own wants and needs aside

to sort out this
latest bit of WTF.

[TURNS RADIO OFF]

[DING!]

JOE: The doctor let me
know Harry actually slipped

because he was dizzy,

a side effect of
inflamed adenoids.

Mary was supposed to organise
for them to be removed,

now they'll have to
be extracted tonight.

Oh, God.

Siri, text Joe back.

SIRI: What do you want to say?

Can he still be operated
on with concussion?

- Send.
- OK, sending.

[DING!]

JOE: It's not an issue.

[DING!]

JOE: Stitches.

Mary's arrived at the
hospital and made a scene,

abusing the nurses.

Mary's been thrown out.

Unfortunate timing for
one of her episodes.

It's terrible for the children.

I need to be here
to protect them

while the meds
level her out again.

Looks like I won't be
making it after all.

I am so sorry.

[EXHALES]

[INSECTS CHIRRUP]

[WAVES ROLL]

[BANG!]

[THUDDING]

[FOOTSTEPS]

[EXHALES]

What are you doing here?

- [LAUGHS]
- It's the middle of the night!

- [INDISTINCT]
- You said you weren't coming.

Birdie... God. What have you
got? What are you going to do?

Brain me with that thing?

God, remind me not
to mess with you.

Don't mess with me! I'm
not messing with you.

Hey...

I just didn't want to wake you.

It's OK.

Birdie, it's OK. It's OK.

Hey...

Where's your car? I
didn't hear your car.

I walked up the driveway.

A night doctor who
lives in the area,

he just dropped me up the road.

Didn't think it was a
good idea for me to drive

after such an emotional night.

Oh, Mary made a scene.

I ordered pizzas for
the whole bloody ward

to thank the nurses
for their... their help

and their, you know,
their patience.

- You OK?
- [LAUGHS] Yes.

It's OK, it's OK.

God, you wouldn't believe
the night I've had.

- Oh.
- Yeah? All good?

- All good?
- Not good.

Birdie. Birdie?

- Boo!
- Oh! Jesus!

- [LAUGHS]
- Joe, stop it!

Yeah, I'll have a drink.

[BOTH LAUGH]

[BIRDIE LAUGHS]

[BIRD CALLS]

We'll just run to that rock...

Birdie...

You make me feel things I
didn't think I'd feel again.

What's this?

Broken collarbone.

- Fall off your horse, cowboy?
- [LAUGHS]

[BOTH LAUGH]

You do know Dorpers
are sheep, right?

[LAUGHS]

Mary.

Mary broke your collarbone?

Yeah, pushed me off a ladder.

On purpose?

Ooh, yeah. She
meant it, alright.

- Jesus.
- Mmm.

What about you?

Hmm?

Any... Any bad exes?

- Are we talking about our exes?
- Mm, I guess we are.

Oh, no. I didn't
want to do that.

[INDISTINCT]

What, so it's just me
who talks about bad exes?

- That's not fair.
- [LAUGHS]

Alright. There was...

one married
journalism professor.

- Oh, scandal.
- Oh, I was... I was barely 20.

It seemed like a big,
exciting romance.

I felt very worldly
and grown up.

Hindsight tells a
different story.

JOE: Mmm.

Yeah, well, there's a lot
of predatory men out there.

And of course, there's Anton.

I mean, that... He's
not... He's not a BAD ex.

But it is kind of silly.

We dated for about
six months at uni.

[LAUGHS]

I just thought he was
a stylish dresser.

- [LAUGHS]
- Is it weird?

Anton? No.

No, no, no, he's
like a brother to me.

He's been part of the furniture
at my place my whole life.

He came out to my
mum before his own.

And Mum thinks that Rory's
basically her granddaughter.

Why's that?

What, because she didn't
get a grandchild from you?

W... Well, no.

Actually, they asked
me to be an egg donor.

But I thought I might
still meet someone

and have one of my own, so...

Mmm. Do you regret that?

Rory and I are really close.

I'm over there a couple of
times a week for dinner.

She's my goddaughter.

Well, what was Mary like
before? Love of your life?

No, she wasn't the
love of my life.

Who was?

Oh... Tessa, Tessa Rain.

Smartest woman I ever met.

Yeah, I fell in love
with her one day when...

..she found me
sobbing in the shower

and she said, "Oh,
you poor thing."

And then she just got in
the shower and embraced me,

fully clothed.

I can relate.

I've... I've been on medication
for anxiety for a few years now.

Well, soon you won't need
any of that stuff anymore.

Well, soon you won't need
any of that stuff anymore.

Ugh.

Oh...

You want to go for a walk?
I've got to take some pics.

Apparently, there's some wild
oysters that we can take.

They've left a
bucket and a knife.

- Joe?
- [KEYBOARD CLICKS]

Joe?

[TYPING CONTINUES]

Can you not?

- I've just got some work to do.
- Oh, sorry.

OK. See you soon.

[TYPING CONTINUES]

[WINDS FILM ON]

[SCRAPING CONTINUES]

Ow!

[EXHALES]

f*ck you.

Joe, I... Do you want to leave?

Oh! You're back.

God, you were gone for so long.

Eh? Gone for so long I
thought you'd left me.

Eh? Please don't leave me.

I love you.

[FADING AUDIO] Now, sometimes
my life is pure chaos,

and I shouldn't
take it out on you.

[INAUDIBLE]

I love you.

I love you.

[FAINT] Ooh!

[INAUDIBLE]

I love you.

I love you too.

[LAUGHS]

Check-out's at two o'clock.

We should probably get going.

I've got a surprise for you.

What?

A night at Crown
Towers. Tonight.

Don't... Don't you have
to get back for Harry?

No, no, I've gotten onto
him. He's right as rain.

He's even having a sleepover

at one of his friend's
places tonight.

There you go.

If you book it -

you can even get the, uh, get
a grand suite if you like.

I'll put the kettle on.

Oh, th... that'll be expensive.

Oh, don't worry about
it. It's all good.

Well, they just... they'll
need a credit card to...

Yeah, it's OK. If you
use your credit card...

I don't have a credit card.

I refuse to pay the
bloody bank fees.

I just might not
have enough in my...

No, no, hey. I've got cash.

I shall give you the
cash when we get there.

- [PHONE RINGS]
- [BEEP!]

WOMAN: [ON RECORDING] Hey, it's
Cookie from All Angels Chapel.

Tina has been taken
to the hospital.

They are turning up her morphine

and she might not make
it through the night.

So you might want to come
see her as soon as you can.

OK, bye.

JOE: Reservation for
Bell. Right this way, sir.

And can you park
the car, please?

- Of course.
- Thank you.

The All Angels Chapel
just left a message.

My subject's not doing well.

They've moved her to palliative.

Oh, that's awful. I
hope she gets better.

There's the $1,000-a-night
view. [LAUGHS]

We'd better get
dressed for dinner.

We're meeting Allan
downstairs in half an hour.

Allan's here?

Yeah, he wants me to present at
a high-level meeting tomorrow

on wind farm technology

with a delegation connected
to the Chinese president.

The Chinese president?

Yeah, well, the
Chinese president's

not going to be here
himself, obviously,

but his officials
are interested in

what we're doing
with renewables.

Oh, sh*t.

I've done it again, haven't I?

Oh, it just would have
been nice to know.

I'm sorry.

Communication is not
my strong suit, is it?

- Mmm...
- I'm sorry.

OK. Come on, better get ready.

[DOOR CLOSES]

You brought a suit to the Cape?

Mm, be prepared.

My grandfather taught
me business is 24/7.

Uh...

Well, how fancy is
this restaurant, Joe?

- Because I brought nothing.
- Oh, sh*t.

I thought we were packing
for a beach weekend.

Mary's drained the
shared bank account.

She's only supposed to access
it for the kids' school fees.

[RECALLS] If you use
your credit card...

I don't have a credit card.

I refuse to pay the
bloody bank fees.

So we already hold the licences
for the initial wind monitoring,

and the measurements so
far are very promising.

The land value is
going to skyrocket

once the government announces
the renewable energy zone

for their 2030 targets.

[SPEAKS MANDARIN]

JOE: Mm-hm.

So you're looking at


which is - what?
- 30,000 per turbine, per year.

Now, you put 10 of
those gentle giants up,

you're looking at a
minimum of 300,000 per year

for that piece of
scrappy, unused land.

[WOMAN SPEAKS MANDARIN]

[SOFTLY] Another
bottle of 2017 Vanya.

Oh, and another
bottle of pinot noir.

If we use your credit card...

I don't have a credit card.

I refuse to pay the
bloody bank fees.

[WHISPERS] Go to the bathroom.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[RECALLS] I've got cash.

I shall give you the
cash when we get there.

Mary's drained the
shared bank account.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[LAUGHS]

MAN: Just keep the
money all to himself.

WOMAN: He's enjoying himself.

[CONVERSATION AND
LAUGHTER CONTINUE]

MAN: All in cash. I
forget to declare it.

- MAN 2: Oh, wow.
- MAN: That's not much.

You don't do this for fun.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

MAN: We pay like $60 per year.

- JOE: Thank you very much.
- MAN: Now it's for free.

Five years ago,
it was still paid.

- WOMAN: Now it's free?
- MAN: Yeah.

Yeah, they want more...

Well, that went well.

You thought I wouldn't be able
to pay for dinner, didn't you?

Here, that's for the room.

I'm really happy
to pay my share.

Oh, well, you can
pay for breakfast.

- It's included.
- [BEEPING]

I promise not to involve you

in any more boring
business meetings.

Oh, no, it wasn't
boring. It was just...

just Allan, though.

I did think there was
something not quite right.

You really knew
your stuff, though.

Sustainability is
a passion of mine.

You know Wayne Swan,
the ex-treasurer?

He wants to meet me and
talk about some of my ideas.

- Does he?
- Mmm.

- Oh. What in particular?
- I don't know.

A friend of mine who
admires my business acumen

set up a meeting.

I'll go along, see what
he has to say for himself.

I do really want to be
a part of your life.

Even the boring dinners.

I'm sorry I doubted you.

I want to be part of yours.

[JOE GRUNTS]

BIRDIE: Ow! [GROANS]

- JOE: Don't touch me!
- BIRDIE: Oh!

Don't come... Go away.

- [FUMBLING]
- Go away!

- [WHIMPERS]
- Don't touch me!

Don't you come near
me! Don't touch...

- Wake up!
- No!

You hit me!

No. No, I didn't.

- You hurt me, Joe!
- No. No, I didn't.

It's OK.

It's OK. It's OK, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

- I'm sorry, Kirsty.
- Huh?

Oh, G...

I'm sorry. I didn't mean it.

I didn't mean it.

- It's OK.
- [MOANS]

- Just go back to sleep.
- [MURMURS] So sorry.

[JOE MURMURS SOFTLY]

[PEOPLE SING] ♪ It's
a wide open road

♪ It's a wide open road

♪ It's a wide open road
It's a wide open road

♪ And now you can
go to any place

♪ That you want to go

Tina was more St
Kilda than St Kilda.

She was always so proud
of her beautiful daughter

who, as she would happily
tell anyone who asked -

and possibly also
everybody who didn't ask -

was a doctor working with
Medecins Sans Frontieres.

I was with Tina in
her final moments,

and she talked about how
proud she was of you.

I'll miss you, Tiny.

Montana, would you
like to say something?

Yeah. I've got
something to say.

Whoever you're all eulogising...

I don't recognise her at all.

I work in a childcare
centre in Chadstone.

I've never even been overseas.

It's all f*cking lies.

[DING!]

JOE: Well, I'm mentoring Allan

through this Chinese
deal after all.

I guess I'm always a
sucker for the underdog.

I should be at yours by 6pm.
Save some dinner for me.

Yeah, Tessa. Tessa Rain.

Smartest woman I ever met.

Yeah, I fell in love with
her one day when she...

she found me sobbing
in the shower

and she said, "You poor thing."

Then she got in the
shower and embraced me,

fully clothed.

Yeah, Tessa.

f*cking ridiculous.

[KNOCKING]