01x60 - Episode 60

[bunniefuu]

Now, for those people at home that may be saying--

has he lost his mind? - No.

What do you say to them?

No.

Believe me, the chicken man has it all together.

I'm prepared to go to another planet at this point.

Currently the chicken man is going to blast off.

[theme music]

NARRATOR: The houseguests are about to perform

their week long challenge, the juggling contest.

If they drop more than two ba*ls,

they fail and lose % of their grocery allowance.

ANNOUNCER: , , , , .

Begin juggling.

[music playing]

ANNOUNCER: Houseguests, you have failed your week

long juggling challenge.

Did we drop more than two?

ANNOUNCER: You had three ba*ls dropped, as well as Jamie

and George did not have one ball in the air at all times.

No biggie.

Ain't no thing but a chicken wing.

I'm still trying--

That's OK.

You were what, Curtis?

I was totally trying not to catch them because, you know--

- Oh. - I think I could have gotten--

You have failed.

You have failed.

And there's no Santa Claus.

There is no supreme consequences.

I juggle better when we're under pressure.

That's weird.

It was OK.

I think we done OK.

We all learned how to juggle, which was cool.

Yeah.

We did that.

NARRATOR: The houseguests practice

their musical challenge-- to write lyrics

to the Big Brother theme song.

This is a cool song.

We came here as housemates.

Some have come-- some will come--

some will come and go.

There you go.

We came here as houseguests.

Some did come and go.

[SINGING] We all came as houseguests, and some did

come and go.

OK.

We all came as house-- houseguests?

For the final show.

- Yeah. - I like houseguest.

Yeah.

That's what they call us.

So we all came as houseguests.

Some did come and go.

Hope-- instead of hopefully--

We hoped?

They got Eddie.

I got hopefully we'll be together for the final show.

Curtis, Karen, Britt.

We hope to be together.

For the final show.

Good job.

[SINGING] We hope to be together.

It could happen.

Right?

Ain't gonna happen.

Eddie, you're singing the people part.

Hey, should we put Chiquita in here somewhere?

Jordan, Mega, Eddie.

No room for the pug.

No room for the pug?

No, she's too fat to fit in the song, even.

Maybe pounds earlier she could have.

This could be pretty cool.

Sing it, Curtis.

I don't know the words.

Hit it, Curtis.

[singing]

[SINGING] You see people like us in your lifetime.

You have known our face, but not our name.

We are here to change that.

You'll never see us the same.

Your verse could be something about walks

of life, coast to coast.

Something like that.

If you wanted to.

It'd be a generic thing about people

coming together sort of thing.

If you wanted to.

[singing]

We all came as houseguests.

Some did come and go.

We hope to be together--

for the final show.

And then it'll come back to this chorus, this chorus.

Oh, this cool.

Out of this house.

My red eyes are watching.

See what they see.

- Not bad. - It's good.

Huh?

Yeah.

Cool.

Not bad at all.

If you-- if you really felt like you knew, saw,

the other four people here--

Right.

And you sincerely wanted each one of them to win--

they all were good people--

Right.

Would you roll a dice, then?

What would you do?

I wouldn't roll a dice.

Why not?

Because I feel that nominations are a privilege,

and if you want to piss them away, you can piss them away.

But me, I wouldn't.

Bottom line is that you care for some people more than others.

You might want to deny it or whatever,

but subconsciously the fact of the matter

is that people have a rank order.

That's what you gotta-- you gotta realize that,

and you have to put yourself before anybody.

You know what I think the worst thing in life is?

Hm?

To not be genuine.

Mm.

To not really mean, or say, or feel, or be

what you really want to be.

Really know that you are.

Really say what you mean.

I think that's the absolute worst thing.

Do you worry that you did that?

No.

No?

I told my friend--

I said before we came in here--

I said, you'll know if are bothering me

because I'll swim underwater.

Well, that's obvious when you do that.

At least to me it is.

I remember-- I remember--

I said because microphones can't hear me underwater.

Really?

Is that way?

Mhm.

Yeah.

Do you talk when you're underwater?

Do you scream?

Yeah.

Yeah?

And it's like your own universe under there.

All you hear is rushing water by your ears, and that's it.

They can't tell if you're crying, either.

That too.

Aerial as*ault?

Sounds like it.

Have the--

Oh, you don't want to know what that banner says.

Take the--

No, it basically says wake up the F up.

Anti George banners are true fans.

Not CBS.

What does it say?

It says wake the beep u.

Anti George banners are true fans.

Not CBS.

Well, here it goes again on me.

Whoever writes this has a good way of putting things,

don't they?

That's why-- that's kind of--

Don't worry about it.

Man, they resorted to swearing at me.

Man, I took a beating in here.

I didn't like that thing with that guy--

flew through the sky today.

You know, it was OK when you affect me,

but when you start flying something else like that

through a town, and stuff like that--

that isn't cool.

And no matter what you say, you know, when people do stuff,

like, to you, you know, they tell you,

you know, just to blow it off.

And you just really can't do that because--

you know, you have feelings.

I was thinking I might be the worst hated man in America.

Because you don't know nothing in here.

And I don't know.

You know?

But I can say is I got to talk to my wife

and, you know, and she would be truthful with me.

But that's what I was thinking.

I was thinking, man, maybe I won't see my picture

up at the post office, but--

but maybe I am the most hated man in America.

She can't-- she can't handle nominations, bro.

I was out here talking with her last night about it.

Uh-huh?

She just-- she can't handle it, man.

She's like, well, what do you do?

Like, there's four people in here you care about.

You don't want to see any of them get hurt.

What do you do?

I'm like, no matter what you say or how you try to say it,

the fact of the matter is that number one,

you gotta watch out for yourself.

Mhm.

I said, but other than that, you look around--

people in here have a rank order in your life.

You know, who watches out for you more?

Because somebody watches out for more and takes care of you

more than someone else. You know what I'm saying?

Sure.

And-- you know, knowing that, it's wrong to nominate them.

Because she's like, well, I just want to roll the dice.

I'm like, well, you could do that.

I said, I'm not going to stop you.

I think she did.

Yeah, I think she did, too.

Unbelievable.

I said-- I said, I can't stop you, but I said

nominations are a privilege.

I said it's part of the game.

I said, you know, she's like, well, I feel [muted] if--

after I nominate somebody for a reason, or something.

I said, well, that's life, man.

You know, I said--

you know, you want to enjoy this experience?

You know, take this time here and mentally get tough.

And you know, nominate somebody's a*s.

You know what I'm saying?

Whatever your reasons may be, just do it.

You know, rolling the dice.

She said, well, you think it's stupid?

I said, not that I think it's stupid.

I just think it's foolish.

I think it's-- you can better use your privileges.

You know what I'm saying?

And you know, get something out of it.

And even if-- even if you just gain

mental toughness out of it, then hey,

that's better than nothing, you know?

Just roll the dice, man.

I mean, granted, fate is what it is, you know?

What will happen will happen.

You can't change that.

But still-- you're denying yourself of experience

that you so well deserve, or whatever,

after making it this far.

You know what I'm saying?

And I mean, she wanted to roll the dice from day one.

And they're like, no way.

Yeah.

You know, you got--

she's in the red room, so it won't hurt her feelings, but--

the look on you guys' eyes when they over, there was four

[inaudible].

[laughter]

If you would have only seen your faces--

Curtis, you were like--

[laughter]

And Josh, you were like-- you just wanna--

[laughter]

Can you hear them through this mic?

Faintly.

Yeah.

Wow.

Um-- totally losing my train of thought.

Um--

If you would only see the look on you guys' face.

Looks like he's laughing, for like--

It's hilarious.

Do you still hear them laughing?

There must be something hilarious out there.

OK, so anyways--

Plus I didn't do the math fast enough.

I was--

I know.

She's all-- you can to the math.

No, no, no.

You had on like, three?

[laughter]

No.

And then-- even then you're like, you all nominated me.

And I'm like-- how does she know that?

Even then--

I can't even talk in my red room

because it was so loud due to the laughing.

What was so funny?

You don't want to know.

What happened?

You don't want to know.

You couldn't talk for minutes?

Well, because he could hear you guys in there from my--

So he's like-- oh, really?

Well, no.

He let me keep talking and stuff,

but I couldn't even concentrate.

I'm like, Frank, do you hear that?

It's so funny.

What's going on out there?

Curtis?

Later.

[laughter]

[humming]

Oh-- I think I hear him.

There he, ladies and gentlemen.

It is George, the space chicken man.

I'm entering the launchpad.

Oh my god.

To the capsule.

As we speak right now.

OK.

For a moment, George, please explain

to the people watching at home exactly what this attire is.

OK.

Currently the chicken man is going to blast off.

And by blast off, what do you mean?

I'm going to enter my super chicken capsule.

Um-- I'm prepared to go to another planet at this point.

This planet for the chicken man is not looking too good.

So I have decided--

Let me ask you a quick question.

Yes, go ahead.

Now, for those people at home that may be saying,

has he lost his mind? - No.

What do you say to them?

No.

Believe me, the chicken man has it all together.

Now, why would the chicken man want to go into another planet?

Chicken man has four nominations.

Oh, really?

[laughter]

OK.

Um-- he's being prepared.

The chicken man does not know what could-- what could happen

to him once he leaves the confines of this environment

that he's in right here, right now.

So he figures he'd better blast off to another place

because it's not looking good for the chicken

man at this point.

If you'd like to make my way over to my rocket ship,

I would gladly tell you, my lovely interviewer,

exactly what I have here.

OK.

Chicken George is about to-- excuse me, the chicken

man is about to explain--

The chicken man.

The contraption he has put together.

OK, here we go.

All right.

OK.

As we make our way over to my capsule--

OK?

OK.

Let me put down my rebreather here.

I will-- I will leave this when I make my departure here.

OK?

And do you want to explain to the viewing audience exactly

what you've invented here?

This is my capsule.

I have the belt, the seat--

OK.

Chicken tonic.

Are you ready for me to make my way into the capsule?

Let's go here.

OK, here we go.

All right.

OK.

Once again, you're in. - Uh-oh.

And kinda stuck. OK.

There you go.

OK?

Always-- always buckle up, Hollywood.

Remember what I said?

You don't want to be a test crash chicken.

OK?

OK.

Doors closed, please.

- You want me to close this? - Yes.

Doors closed.

OK, ladies and gentlemen.

Hold onto your seats.

Hollywood?

Yes?

It's been nice knowing such a lovely lady.

Nice knowing you too, chicken man.

OK. It's been nice knowing you.

OK.

OK.

Doors shut!

Hold on to your seats.

Curtain shut!

Curtain shut. Hang on.

Hang on.

The curtain is now shut.

OK.

Chicken control!

I have no clue what is about to unfold.

OK, start the countdown!

, , , --

Hang on!

I gotta start the-- the salad rocket booster!

, , , .

.

.

Here we go!

Uh-oh, ladies and gentlemen!

Whoa!

[laughter]

It is gone!

I have not yet seen a chicken blast off, but I'm waiting.

[laughter]

I think the chicken man--

he's gotta go back to the drawing board.

Well, the chicken man's here, at least until Wednesday.

Are those your penny loafers with the tin foil?

No, they were my space boots.

Oh.

Can't you tell?

But now they're full of tonic, so--

hey.

Ladies and gentlemen, despite the mishap,

we have witnessed the first attempt of the chicken man

to blast off into another--

Oh, dear.

That's enough of this.

[laughter]

The running of the bulls has nothing on Big Brother.

In the yard you will find a sight to behold.

Your challenge will be to try and find Chiquita.

Once you have made your discovery,

report to the red room.

The winner of this challenge will have a once in a lifetime

career opportunity to broadcast the weather

live on CBS tomorrow night.

Good luck.

I would like to do that.

Wait, does that mean we have to find her in here?

Or is she in the yard?

She's in the yard?

And you can't find her?

It's going to be a little, uh--

a little cut out of Puguita.

- Oh. - It's not gonna be Puguita.

- It's a Puguita-beata? - Go on ahead, Eddie.

Shall we?

Sorry, Eddie.

Oh my god.

[laughter]

Oh my god!

This is awesome. - Man, you gotta be kidding me.

What a call.

It's a three legged dog!

OK, don't let 'em in. Don't let 'em in.

What do you gotta do?

Wow.

Puguita!

- Oh, man. - No.

You don't let 'em in.

You gotta find Puguita.

Puguita!

Oh, you gotta be kidding me.

We're looking for the dumb one.

I'm sorry.

Puguita!

No. No.

No.

Come here, Puguita.

You?

Are you Puguita?

Puguita!

How do we know--

Come here, Puguita.

Puguita!

Oh, hello, baby.

Hello.

- Nope. - You're not Puguita.

Are you Puguita?

Oh, man.

This is ridiculous.

Puguita.

Oh, man.

Come here, Chiquita.

Chiquita.

This one looks a hell of a lot like Chiquita.

Oh, man, it's a room full of busted dogs.

No.

Oh, there's a black one.

Hey, that's a one legged--

Yeah, I saw that it's got three legs.

That's cool.

I'm taking that one home with me.

No. You're not Chiquita.

How do I know--

I don't think she's back here.

Come on.

Come here, Chiquita.

Chiquita.

Chiquita.

I don't see her.

Man, there's some definite smell here, though.

And I've never seen so many dogs.

There are so many pug poops here, too.

Oh, yeah. No, I'm stepping in one.

These dogs are so cute!

I don't see Chiquita.

They all have nametags.

Look for another-- one that's called Puguita,

or Chiquita, or something.

Here's the three legged one.

I'm hanging out with him. - All right.

Go ahead.

Hey, slackers!

It's a yard full of slackers!

Hello, hello, hello.

What is your name?

Hey, what's up there, one eye?

How are you doing?

Calm down.

You're so cute, you guys.

Young lady.

Did we check all of 'em?

I've checked a lot of them.

Oh, what's up, buddy? What's up?

Lots of love.

Lots of love.

Hello, babies.

Come here.

Who you are?

Why are-- oh, you're so fat.

Aw--

Pookie?

I love you, Pookie. Come here.

You're gorgeous.

Oh-- Don't get me--

No.

Look at this one.

Hey, watch out for the one in the red right there.

Yeah, that one bites.

Yeah, he tries to snap at ya.

Stay away from him.

- There's a couple-- - Hi.

Hi, baby.

I've got an idea.

Aw, man.

Don't even tell me that they're peeing on my clothes.

Oh, there's stuff everywhere.

Come on.

Oh, they're peeing-- oh, the little

b*stards just peed on my shirt.

Aw!

I think the pug is somewhere in here, because the--

Puguita's not out there.

Definitely.

That's my guess.

You think she's somewhere in the house?

I think she's probably in the storage room.

Why don't you go look in the storage room?

- OK. - You can totally hear him.

It's our baby.

Yeah, because the directions are-- you

know, you'll find a sight to behold.

It has nothing to do with her being there.

Oh!

Our baby!

Hey!

Awesome.

We gotta show her to the outside world.

I know.

Hey, so proud of you.

Puguita, wanna see outside?

Come on.

She's not going to like all of these friends, is she?

Oh my goodness.

Look at this new dog we have here.

Where was she?

In the storage room.

Puguita, look.

So who got it? Curtis?

- Josh. - Yeah.

Josh did.

Good job, Josh.

They know that she's the star.

She's the star.

Puguita's here.

Oh, look.

Puguita's gonna get a little--

All right, all you ugly a*s pugs leave.

Go home.

Good girl.

Good girl.

Come on, Pugette.

She's so--

OK.

See, Jamie and I are probably the most opposite people

you'll ever meet.

She thinks that everything in life

can be solved and fixed with a hug and a smile.

Me, I think, you know, it takes some hard work,

and you just gotta be able to grin and bear things.

You know, if something bothers her or somebody bothers her,

she's just-- you know, she clammed up about it.

Me?

I'll let you know, you know?

She has no real competitiveness.

You know, like we play croquet and she's like, oh,

I want everybody to win.

I'm like, what are you, nuts?

No way.

Naw, you come near me, I'm going to knock

your ball into next Tuesday.

I piss her off a lot of times.

I know I piss this girl off.

I don't mean to.

I just do.

It just happens, you know?

I don't know why.

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SINGER: The chain that can tie us together again.

[music playing]