01x61 - Peg o' the Jungle

[bunniefuu]

Ah-hyuck!

♪ H-h-h-hit it ♪

♪ Like father, like son ♪

♪ You're always number one ♪

[both] Yes!

♪ There's buddies, there's pals ♪

Yeah!

♪ You always seem to work things out ♪

♪ Can't you see you're two of a kind ♪

♪ Lookin' for a real good time ♪

Whoa!

♪ A real good time ♪

Aah!

♪ Report to the Goof Troop ♪

♪ And we'll always stick together ♪

♪ Always stick together ♪

♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ The best of friends forever ♪

♪ Side by side wherever we go ♪

♪ We're always ready to roll ♪

-♪ Now gimme a beat ♪
-♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ And we always stick together ♪

Gawrsh!

♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ The best of friends forever ♪

♪ Now we're calling everyone ♪

♪ Come along and join the fun ♪

♪ Report to the Goof Troop ♪

♪ Baa ba doo da bop baa ba doo bop ♪

Yeah!

[Peg sighs] When we were first married,

Pete would do anything to show he cared--

Climb a mountain

to bring me the first blue
cornflower of spring,

work any job he could get

just to earn enough money
to buy me a little gold ring.

[Goofy] Aw. Isn't that sweet?

[Peg] Yeah. He worshiped
the earth clods I walked on.

Kept a jar of them under his pillow.

But now that it's our 20th anniversary,

he'd sooner remember the number of dimples

on his golf ba*ls

than the day we tied the knot!

You watch. He'll come home

expecting to be waited on like King Tut

till I drop a hint the size of a doghouse.

Then he'll fly off in a panic
and buy me some cheap present

to schmooze me into one more
year of free maid service.

[sigh] He just doesn't
appreciate me anymore.

If only I could get back
the guy I married.

-Aw.
-Poor Mom.

You know, the ol' Petey's
gotta be kickin' around

somewhere under all those layers of flab.

Wonder if there's a way to dredge him out.

Yeahhh!

After a long, hard day

of putting my feet up on my desk,

can't wait to kick off my shoes.

Peg! What'd y'do

with my Harvey Hippo lounging socks?

[Peg] They're on your feet.

Oh. Yeah.

When's dinner?

Ready in 15 minutes.

Awww, that's five minutes late.

But, punkin, you know

I can't watch The Crumnuts Family

on an empty stomach.

If it doesn't get my rating share,

the sponsors will cut its U.N. donations.

Cities will starve in Lower Slovobia.

So go light a fire under that pasta maker!

Any second now...

[knock on door]

[chuckle]

OK. You sly ol' fox. Where'd y'hide it?

I'm dying to find out
what is it this year.

What what is?

Why, Peg's anniversary present, what else?

Anniversary?

Yipe!

Left my dandruff scraper
back at the office.

I'll be right back.

I give him, ohhh, 10 minutes.

Three to realize
all the stores are closed...

[mumbling]

Two to pull an anniversary rabbit
out of a trash can.

[mumbling] One man's
trash is another man's--

Ohh! [mumbling]

Four more to shake down a gumball machine.

Come on, you stinking, rotten, lousy gum--

And a minute travel time,

which leaves 3, 2, 1, and...

Cue the hubby.

Crumbcake! Ha ha!

Betcha thought I forgot our anniversary.

Pete-ums would rather forget the corns
on his tootsers.

For you, my little liver spot.

Plastic flowers.

OK, so they don't smell,

but they won't wilt, either.

And look! I gotcha jewelry, too!

A plastic penny ring.

Nickel ring! Almost broke my toe

kicking it outta the gum machine.

I'm surprised you didn't give me

a bottle of yesterday's bath water.

You don't care about me anymore!

[sobbing]

But--but--but, peach fuzz!

[Peg] Go make your own pasta!

[giggling]

Goof! Help! If I don't get her
a real present,

I'll be eatin' refried dog food

for the next 50 years!

You gotta think of somethin' quick!

Hmm. Somethin' to show
ya care more about Peg

than a plate of twice-chewed
chicken gristle, huh?

I got it!

How about taking her
on a second honeymoon?

One of them there tropical vacations

with all the fixin's!

Happen to have a brochure right, uh, here!

A first-class flight to the resort island
of Moulah Moulah!

Swayin' palm trees,

romantical sunsets,

talkin' parrots an'--

Book me the best vacation they got!

Uh! 15 bucks.

And I want you to spend every dime.

I'm sparin' no expense
for my little mushroom cap.

Oh, okra blossom,

dry those pretty little peepers

an' pull yer muu-muu outta mothballs.

We're having a second honeymoon.

We are?

Oh, chipmunk cheeks.

[Peg] Oh, I can't tell you
what this means to me!

[giggle]

You were right, Goof.

Best 15 bucks I ever spent.


but I can cut back on her birth-- What?

[stutters] Aren't we taking
one of them big babies?

Sorry. All you can get for 15 bucks

is bottom-of-the-line
I'd-rather-travel-by-mule flight.

Yes.

Time to board, peach fuzz.
No peekin' now.

Wanna keep our romantic
destination a secret

so's it don't spoil the surprise. Yeah.

Oh, ha ha! Petey-pie!

You're so romantic!

Yeah, well, you know,

nothing's too good

for my li'l pumpkin rind, yeah.

[Goofy over intercom]
Good evenin', ladies n' gents.

Welcome aboard Flight 6 7/8

to the island of Moulah Moulah!

Time fer takeoff.

Please return yer seats
to the upright position,

unless you'd prefer full tilt,

half tilt, spin cycle, reverse-o-matic...

Hey, Operation Anniversary

is about to go into high gear!

Ladies and gentlemen,

fer yer dinin' pleasure,

Chef Goof-ay's Polynesian specialty--

Fried octy-pus in prune sauce

with jellyfish jam. Ah-hyuck!

Ah-hyuck! Boney appe-teet!

[gagging]

I couldn't possibly eat.

My tummy's too atwitter with joy.

I'll just feed you
both our portions. Ha ha!

Open wide.

Oh, that's OK, puddin'.

I'm not really hun--

[Peg] There you go! Isn't that nice?

And now, a love song to chew by.

♪ Oh ♪

Ah-hyuck!

♪ When yer wifey-poo ♪

♪ Gets all hoochie-coo ♪

♪ Time ta lini-wini-
Hooki-pooki-wikki-woo ♪

♪ Then ya looki-luu ♪

♪ Uh, hokey-pokey, too ♪

♪ And don't forget ta say ♪

♪ Ya really love her, too ♪

♪ Oh, then ya-- ♪

[sighs]

Aw, snuggle nose,

Don'tcha wanna stay up here forever?

Ha ha ha.

No. I wanna land n' find out

-what our hotel's like.
-[crash]

[Goofy] Attention, all passengers!

The cap'n informs me we lost our engines!

Please stand by to bail out!

Hmm, time to bail out.

Jump outta the plane?

Ohh, how exciting!

You'll save me, won't you, snookums?

Aah! Too high. High in the sky.

I'm afraid of heights. I can't do it.

I'm afraid of winds!

To activate yer parachute,

insert yer arms in loops "a" n' "b",

yer legs in loops "c" and "e,"

snap "g" into tab "z,"

grab hole the rip cordy,

and, ah-hyuck, let 'er rip!

[screams]

Whooa! But there's all
that gravity out there!

Gawrsh, not yet. Y'gotta count first!

One, two, three,

four, five,

six, seven, eight,

nine... 10!

[Pete screaming]

Happy landings.

And thanks fer flyin'

Moulah Moulah Airlines!

Ah-hyuck!

[jungle sounds]

Uh, uh, uh...

Whoooaaah!

Ooh! Eee! Aah!

[Goofy] Whaaa-hah-hah-hooieee!

Get offa me.

Gawrsh, I'm sorry.

What kind of vacation y'call this?

Well, it's...

I paid top dollar

to take my wife on a second honeymoon,

and look where you dumped me!

-I'm sorry.
-[crunch]

Yow! Bugs! Bugs! Get him off me!

Get him off me! Get him off me!

I'll save you, Petey.

Take that! And that!

What are you-- Ow!

Looky. Peg's parachute.

And her purse and lippystick.

Uh-oh.

Looks like she had company.

She's been captured by natives.

You got to save her.

-Me?
-Ah-hyuck!

Wait'll she sees her hubby
swinging to her rescue.

Gonna be one anniversary present
she'll never forget.

But what if the locals are mean

or eat tourists for breakfast

or have bad breath?

Couldn't we just find
a phone and call 911?

Why, by then Peg could be a shrunken head

on some popsicle stick.

And I don't know about you,

but I'd really miss her kiwi chiffon pie.

[Pete thinking] Yipes. Without Peg,

I'd have to cook and clean

and make p*stol eat her peas.

Come on, Goof.

No wife of mine's gonna wind up leftovers.

-[roar]
-On the other hand,

she has been lifting anvils at the gym.

Just got her black belt in karate.

She's gonna be fine.

[natives shouting] Yaa! Yaa!

Yeesh. Either I'm seeing sextuple,

or my family tree dropped bad
apples farther than I thought.

Lucky it did. No one with my genes

could pass up a good deal.

Well, now, fellas, let me go,

I'll give you free
tires, free lube jobs,

free limos.

Icky-wicky yak-yak.

Ig-bay outh-may, man.

[laughing]

Oh, primitive, huh?

Don't know a satellite from a sedan?

Wait till you see what you're missing.

Gimme a spear. I'll draw
one for you in the dirt.

Just a thought.

[bird screeches]

Ucker-say eady-ray.

Ommy-may ext-nay.

Oss-cray ingers-fay.

I wish I knew what they were saying!

No! We can make a deal.

I'll give you my fishing
gear, my boat, my house!

[female voice] Let him go!

Queen Peg's wish is our command.

Queen Peg?

Hey, don't ask me. For some reason,

these guys worship the earth I walk on.

And the feet that do the walking.

Crumbcake, we gotta talk.

Nobody talks to Queenie

without smoochin' the royal tootsies.

Sure.

Snookums, we gotta split.

Who knows when these guys will
stop eating out of your hand

and start picking your bones?

I mean, look at them.

Can you trust faces like those?

Well, I'd like to leave,

but the chief says I can't go
until I choose a hubby.

That can't take too l-- what?

I'm your hubby!

Well...

You look like my hubby,

but so do all of them.

I wish I could tell which
one's the guy I married.

I'm the guy you married!

Oh, no, no, no, no.

You see, the guy I married
cared for me so much,

he'd climb a mountain
to bring me a flower.

[elephant trumpets]

Oh, that's lovely.
Ooh, thank you very much.

Oh, how pretty. Look at that.

I gotta top these chumps

to get back my own wife?

[Peg giggling]

Hmm...

Say, pally,

would you have a premium posy to spare?

Trade you this state-of-the-art
toothpick.

Even show you how to use it.

Got no flowers.

But I do have a map

to the legendary blue orchid of Bumbago.

Wins the ladies every time.

Aah!

Hey, Petey, did you find Peg?

Oh, I found her.

She's got a bunch of natives
spoiling her rotten.

Now I gotta risk my life

for some dumb flower to win her back.

And it's all your fault, see?

This trip was your idea,

so you're gonna help me get it.

Don't worry, Petey. I'm right behind you.

Hmm. Must be the Tsetse swamp,

says here it's the home
of half a million rare bugs.

[gasp] Some of which
feed on flowers, Goof,

which means, if I pick that blue orchid,

the bugs that eat that puppy will starve.

I can't throw an endangered species

on the bread line just to please Peg.

If I take her one of these,
it won't even be missed.

[bees buzzing]

Yaaa!

You lead the way!

I'm still right behind you!

Ow! Ow! Ow!

Worst is over.

Only a few kajillion stickers

between you and being Peg's hero.

Kajillion? Sorry.

This is as far as I go.

This lily will just have to do.

Looks more like a tiger to me.

Huh? Oh. You mean a tiger lily.

-Nope. The kind with fur and stripes.
-[growls]

Aaah-hoo-hoo!

Knew you'd come through.

Thanks for breaking the trail.

Petey, you found it.

At last...

Some easy pickings.

Says here to be careful of the sticky sap.

Aah!

You try, Goof.

You got a way with shrubbery.

I always hear you talking
to your poison ivy at home.

Howdy, ma'am. May I have this bloom?

It's for a good cause.

You see, my friend here wants to show

how much he loves his little--

Come on. We ain't got all night.

[grunting]

Yeow!

Perfect. She'll love it.

[monkey screeching]

Oh, sugar plum?

Here. Let's stop making me waste my time

and go flag down a plane. If we hurry,

I can get home in time
for the Spikers game.

Oh, I'd love to,

but what if you're the wrong Pete?

I mean, sure, you look
like him, but... nah.

Couldn't be the same guy.

My Pete would never think

an anniversary present
was a waste of time.

[sigh] He used to work extra jobs

just to earn enough money
to buy me a little gold ring.

Oh, thank you very much. Oh, and you, too.

I really appre-- Oh, and you. Ha ha!

Thank you very much. Ha ha!

Fine! If she wants jewelry,

I'll get her jewelry.

Say, sport, you got a spare bauble

you'd swap for a pocket comb
with only a few teeth missing?

Nope. But there's a ring
of legendary beauty

hanging in the stone idol's nose.

Yours for the taking.

Just follow the road
to the Temple of Terror.

T-temple of Terror?

[birds chirping]

This must be it, Goof.

You go first. I got more dependents.

Must be some sort of ancient
shuttle to the idol.

Wait for me!

[both shouting]

Bet you're glad you kept going.

Ring's almost in your grasp.

[rumbling]

Hurry, Petey!

Yaa-hoo!

Did you get the ring?

Sorta lopsided, isn't she?

Well, naturally.

What you're looking at is...

A priceless antique,

one-of-a-kind idolwear.

Ought to hold you for
the next 10 anniversaries,

birthdays, and Christmases.

So let's go.

What a ripoff.

That proves you're not my hubby.

He is.

What?

[priest] Ahem. Now, then, do you promise

to love, honor, and cherish Queen Peg,

take her for walks in the moonlight,

praise her cooking,

and never forget your anniversary?

Sure. Be an honor.

Well, be a relief.

I won't have to trip on her nylons again.

[sniff] Gonna miss that.

Or I'll never have to break out
in hives from her perfume.

I'm gonna miss that, too.

You see this?

First anniversary present
she ever gave me.

Kept it close to my heart all these years.

Here, pumpkin rind.

Don't have anything else to give you,

but, seeing as how this is
our last anniversary...

[sobbing] I want you to have it.

[sobbing]

Aah!

No!

Maybe I gotta leave Peg here,

but I ain't leaving that.

Now there's the knight
in tarnished armor I married.

Gonna keep this as long as I live.

Which ain't long.

[gasps] He's afraid of heights.

He can't climb out.

Hang on, pickle juice, I'm coming.

To think you've hung on to
that picture all these years.

And you'd even risk your life for it.

You're my real hubby, all right.

Aw, Peg,

my heart's all atwitter,

just like the old days.

Huh?

Uh-oh. It looks like these guys

won't give me up without a fight.

What'll I do?

You could try to buy my freedom.

What have I got that they'd take?

Uh... how about your credit card?

Did you say credit card?

Uh, but I--

Look!

We're rescued!

Goodbye, everybody.
I'm off to civilization

with the man I married.
Bye-bye! See you later.

Bye-bye! Kiss-kiss!

Yeah, bye, uh...

We did it! All right!

[cheering]

Wow. Weirdest second honeymoon
we ever hosted,

but, hey, money's money,

or as we like to say,

Moolah Moolah.

[whistle] OK, dudes, back to the hotel!

[P.J.] Oh, man, wouldn't
Dad croak if he knew

he spent his vacation on the wrong side
of the resort?

[p*stol] And captured by his own kids?

[Max] And paid for the whole setup

with his own credit card?

[all laughing]

You know, we really oughta try out

for the next jungle movie.

Hey, maybe Pop could play the chief again.

[Peg] Ahh... the best anniversary ever.

[Pete] But not the last.

I'm never forgetting my pumpkin's big day
ever again.

[burp]

Pardon my French.

Just in case he does,

where do you want to go next year?

Hey, how about the Himalayas?

No. Europe!

Skiing.

Africa!

Gooneyland!

Scuba diving!

-Australia!
-Tierra del foongo!

♪ Gimme a beat ♪

Yeah!