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03x15 - Algae Day/Brothers of a Feather

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Fish Hooks". Aired: September 3, 2010 – April 4, 2014.*
Watch/Buy Amazon


Series revolves around a fun-personified fish named Milo, his nervous brother Oscar, and their "overly dramatic" best friend Bea Goldfishberg, with whom Oscar is infatuated.

03x15 - Algae Day/Brothers of a Feather

Post by bunniefuu »

[WATER BUBBLING]

One, two, three, four

Who's that knocking at my door?

Five, six, seven, eight

Hurry up and don't be late

Nine, ten, eleven, twelve

Got a secret I can't tell

Flap your fins, flip your tail

School's out, ring the bell

La, la, la, la

Ooh

La, la, la, la

Ooh

La, la, la, la

Ooh

La, la, la, la

One, two, three, four

Who's that knocking at my door?

Five, six, seven, eight

Hurry up and don't be late

Nine, ten, eleven, twelve

Got a secret I can't tell

Flap your fins, flip your tail

School's out, ring the bell

Mm.

Mm.

MAN: [ON RADIO]
All right, fishes, rise and shine!

Because the forecast is calling
for over a foot of algae out there.

WOMAN: [ON RADIO]
A foot of algae? You don't say...

MAN: [ON RADIO] I do say!
It's a real algae day out there.

And now, what you kiddies
have all been waiting for,

Freshwater school districts are...

-Closed!
-[GIGGLING]

Hot dog! No school!

[GRUNTING]

Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy!

[GRUNTING]

Oh, no. Wait, I forgot.

[GRUNTS] Okay, people,
let's go have some fun!

Oh, you wanna go outside?

-No, thanks.
-Yeah, I'm good.

What? You guys,
algae days are super special.

We gotta go make the most of it.

But the Hamster Channel is playing
a marathon of my favorite show.

It's about a hamster girl
who is good at dancing,

and her friends, who are also good
at dancing. Check it out.

ANNOUNCER:
Now back to Drop it Like it's Hamster.

Oh, my gosh, I'm having a total crisis!

I lost my smartphone.
I'm not even joking.

Well, did you check inside your head?
There's a lot of empty space up there.

-Peace!
-[AUDIENCE LAUGHTER]

There's only one way
to solve this problem.

[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]

Man, all these shows are about
dancing hamsters that wanna be famous.

-It's stupid.
-No, it's not. I wanna be famous.

Oscar, come on.
You don't even like the Hamster Channel.

You really wanna spend all day sitting
on that couch,

-all alone, just you and Bea?
-Yes.

Sorry, bro, I guess we're just getting
a little too old to be playing in algae.

[GASPS] Too old to what?

Well then, I guess
I'm going to have fun all by myself.

Yep, just poor little Milo,

all alone because of his friends
who don't care about him anymore.

-Okay, bro.
-See you later.

Bah!

I can't believe those guys
are gonna sit around and watch TV all day.

Nuts to that. I'll show them.
I'm gonna have so much fun.

They're gonna be so jealous
that they'll... they'll barf!

I'm sure I'll have no problem
finding people to hang out with me.

Hola, Alberto!

You and Jumbo wanna come out
and build an algae fort?

No, thanks, man.
We're going to watch

all the Captain Squidlips movies
in a row!

Houston, we have popcorn.
[CHUCKLES]

-[CHUCKLES] This guy...
-[CHOMPS]

Yeah, all right. That's cool.

[GROWLING]

Jocktopus!

Let's say you and me get
into a mad algae ball fight!

Can't. Piranhica says I have
to spend the day hanging out with her.

PIRANHICA:
Jocktopus, who are you talking to?

What? Nobody!

Sorry, Milo, but I think
algae's kind of gross. [SNORTS]

Last time I played in algae,
I broke my fin.

And it healed funny!
[CRIES]

-No!
-No, thank you.

I can't even remember who you are.

Isn't there anyone out there
who still likes playing in algae?

[GROANS]

[LAUGHING]

[LAUGHING CONTINUES]

-Look! It's raining!
-It's raining!

-I can't believe all the rain...
-Dan, Dan.

-...that is happening!
-Dan.

Dan. It's rain!

Dan and Ann Chovie?

Eh, I don't know about this.

Uh, hey, guys, how's it going?

[BOTH GASPING]

I'm Milo. I go to high school with you.

We have metal shop class together.

[BOTH GASPING]

Looks like you're having fun there,
with that algae.

Oh! Oh, yeah.
We love algae days!

We love to play in it.

Yeah? Yeah, it's way better
than watching TV, am I right?

We're not allowed to watch TV.

Yeah, we don't even have a TV.

Oh, yeah, we don't, uh...
I don't even know what one is!

Really? Well, hey, how about
we all hang out together?

-Yeah!
-Ha!

Who needs Bea and Oscar!
They don't know what they're missing!

[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]

Now, this is what algae days
are supposed to be about.

Hanging outside with the homies,
having fun.

Look, Milo, we made an algae man.

His name is Pancake, and he's real.

You guys are cool.

You really get me, you know?

Pssh, Bea and Oscar,

they don't know
what they're missing.

I'm gonna hit Pancake with a stick now.

Uh, I'll do it too. Oops.

Hey, guys! I have an idea.

We should go see Bea and Oscar,

so we can brag about
how much of fun we're having.

And then they'll get so jealous,

they'll have to come outside
and hang with me.

[SNICKERING]

[LAUGHING]

Come on, yo, let's amscray!

ANNOUNCER: Now, back to the show,
only on Hamster Channel.

I'm all ready for our vacation
in Hamster Cancun!

-Alexis, you're bringing eight suitcases?
-Yeah! I decided to pack light.

[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]

[LAUGHING]

[LAUGHING]

Oh! Why, Oscar, Bea,
I didn't even notice you there.

Me and the Chovies, we're just having
the greatest algae day ever.

Isn't that right?

-It's fun.
-Milo even talks to us.

Okay, you two, take five.

Uh, you're hanging out
with the Chovies?

That's... cool?

Uh, yeah. They know a good time
when they see it.

And they could not pass this up!

-Wow! What is this I am looking at?
-[SINGING] Dance! Uh-huh!

All right, it's time to change
this snooze-fest into a dance-fest!

Yeah! Rock it out, hamsters!

-Show me those furry moves!
-Ain't no party like a hamster party!

Yeah! Watch me tear it up!
I love being rich!

[SINGING]
Drop it like its hamster

So, yeah.

You know, I just wanted you to know
that I'm having a blast out there

and... and, and you're missing it.

And... and, well, you know, whatever.
You know, that's... that's cool.

-That's great, Milo.
-Uh, it is?

Yeah, it's really nice
you've found someone else

who will play in the slime with you.

While we keep watching
the Hamster Channel.

-[LAUGHS]
-[LAUGHS] Yeah.

[GROWLS] Good. Great!

You know, I'm happy, too!
In fact, I have an announcement to make!

Dan and Ann are officially
my new best friends,

'cause they know how to have fun

and they don't sit around
watching TV on algae day!

Chovies! Get away from that TV!

Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm going out with my real friends.

I hope you two
have a wonderful life together.

-Wait. What just happened?
-I, uh, think Milo just broke up with us.

Man, who even wants friends that think
they're too cool to play outside.

Meh! [SIGHS]

So, what are we gonna do now, Chovies?

-[GROANS] I feel funny...
-Me, too.

Hello? Guys?

I'm talking to you!

Look, if you're gonna
be my best friends now,

you gotta learn to listen

'cause when I say stuff,
it's really important!

[SINGING]
Let's dance! All right!

It's time to turn this snooze fest

into a dance fest!

Uh, okay... guys?

What are you...
Dude, what, what are you...

Hey, get that out of here!

Come on, you guys are freaking me out!

-Ain't no party like a hamster party!
-Ain't no party like a hamster party!

Ow! That hurt!

-[LAUGHING]
-[MILO SCREAMS]

[MILO GRUNTING]

Show me those furry moves.

[PANTING]

Yeah. Rock it out, hamster.

[PANTING]

[MANIACAL LAUGHTER]

[PANTING]

The Chovies have lost their minds!

-[YELLS]
-[SCREAMS]

[TV AUDIENCE LAUGHING]

I would've never won first place
in dancing without you guys.

You're the best friends ever!

Well, friends are the best thing ever.

[TV AUDIENCE CHEERING]

[GROANS]
This show is making me feel things.

Yeah, like how I feel bad
Milo's angry at us.

-You wanna go try to find him?
-Yeah, okay.

-Milo, where are you?
-We wanna talk!

-Here's his sled.
-So, where's the rest of him?

MILO:
Help! Somebody help me!

-[GASPS] Milo's in trouble!
-It sounds like it's coming from the park!

-Oh, no!
-MILO: Oh!

-Whoa! Whoa, whoa! Help! Help!
-[SINGING] Dance! Uh-huh!

Yeah! Shake it if you got it!

[SCREAMING]

Those Chovies are gonna dirty dance
Milo right out of that tree!

-We gotta save him!
-But how? We'll never make it in time!

[YELLING]

OSCAR:
Whoa! Whoa!

-Yeah!
-Yeah, yeah!

-Whoa!
-[SINGING] Drop it like it's hamster

-Bea, hold on! [SCREAMS]
-[SCREAMS]

[YELLS]

OSCAR:
Whoa! [GRUNTS]

[SCREAMING]

-[BOTH GROANING]
-Dan, where are we?

-[SCREAMING]
-[OSCAR GRUNTS]

[THUDS]

-You okay, bro?
-Yeah, I'm fine.

So, what was it, like, a commercial break

and you guys left the house
for a walk or something?

Actually, we were looking for you.

-We just wanted to tell you that we...
-No, no, no, no. Me first.

Guys, I didn't mean that stuff

about the Chovies
being my new best friends.

I shouldn't have tried to replace you

just 'cause you didn't wanna do
what I wanted to do. It was dumb.

Yeah, well, we were wrong to blow you off.

Maybe we shouldn't watch
so much Hamster Channel.

-[GROANS]
-You two okay?

[SCREAMS]

Well, we still have some daylight left.

You guys wanna have an algae ball fight?

-That sounds like fun.
-Aw, really?

Man, you guys are
the bestest friends in the...

[GRUNTS]

Hey, I wasn't even ready.
[GRUNTS]

Oh, you're gonna get it now!
[GRUNTS]

-Okay, that was a lucky shot. [GRUNTS]
-[LAUGHING]

MILO: Man, that looks like
some good algae over... [GRUNTS]

-BUD: Whee!
-[MONKEY SCREECHES]

[BABY BIRD SQUEALS AND COOS]

[MOTHER BIRD COOS]

-[BABY BIRDS CHIRPING]
-[BLUE BIRD BURPS AND VOMITS]

[HOOTS]

[COOS]

[CHIRPING]

[PENGUIN PARENTS SQUAWK]

[COOS]

[GRUNTING]

[COOS]

-[GRUNTING]
-[DINGING]

[GRUNTING]

[GRUNTING]

-[PANTING, GRUNTS]
-[PANTING]

-Are you sure you know where we're going?
-Don't worry.

A friend of mine said there's an awesome
bird party happening right around here!

It's supposed to be a flapping good time!

I don't know, dude.
We've been looking all night!

Come on. It's gotta be close by.

I could swear we were right on top of it.

[SINGING] Celebrate!
Get down!

I guess your friend was wrong, Milo.
There's no party here.

But we were supposed to have
a flapping good time.

I know. Come on.

It's gonna take us forever
to climb back down.

So, let's just crash here tonight
and head back in the morning.

Eyes!

-Psst! Are you asleep, bro?
-No.

You ever wonder what those
giant rectangley things in the sky are?

Go to sleep, Milo.

[BOTH SNORING]

[COOS]

[ROOSTER CROWING]

[COOING, YAWNS]

[SURPRISED GRUNT]

[GRUNTING]

[SNORING]

[YAWNS] Mm.

Milo. Psst!

Bro, I was having
the most wonderful dream.

Oh, my!

[COOING]

Dude, I'm seriously freaking out here.

-I think she's our mom!
-What?

Not like our mom-mom!
That would be weird.

She's our bird mom.

-[GRUNTS]
-Well, butter my bagels,

aren't we adorable?

[COOING]

-Aw, it's like we're her babies!
-That's a problem.

Okay, ma'am. We're not
your bird babies, we're fish.

Look, fins, not feathers!

And we swim! No fly.

We need water... Eyes!

Because if we no water...
[GAGGING]

You get it?

-[SLURPING]
-[GRUNTS]

Milo, you're not helping!
Hey, wait! Don't do that!

Whoa!
What are you doing? Stop!

Oh! Oh, me next!
Me next! Me next!

Milo! She's not our bird mom!
And we're not...

-[COOING]
-[LAUGHING]

[STUTTERS] That tickles!

Wait a minute. No, no, no, no, no.
Can't do this!

Milo, come on,
we gotta get out of here!

I wanna stay!

We're not birds, Milo!

Ma'am, please understand,
we have to leave!

But, bro! We can't leave her all alone!
She's our bird mom.

Milo, I'm sure she'll be just fine!

Milo! Don't, don't do that face!

-Don't do that face!
-[COOS]

Ah! All right, I guess we can stay
for a little while.

-[MILO CHEERING]
-[COOING]

-She said she's making breakfast!
-How can you tell?

Brother dear, breakfast
is a universal language.

[COOS, GRUNTING]

-[REGURGITATING SOUNDS]
-Oh, no! No! No! No... no!

[VOMITS]

[GRUNTS] Huh?

-Pancakes?
-Pancakes!

Pancakes! Pancakes! Pancakes!

[RETCHES, VOMITS]

[LAUGHING]

All I ever wanted, all you'll ever need

You're the one I care for, the one I feed

You're my heart and soul

My everything

Won't you stay here beneath my wing?

Coming up next
on Nest Hunters International.

[WATER BUBBLING]

Oscar and Milo
have been missing for two days.

They never came back
from that bird party.

That reminds me, I don't care.

Girl, let me borrow your cell.

-Hey.
-[PHONE BEEPING]

[BUZZING]

Chirp to me.

Milo? What's going on?
Where have you two been...

Bea, give me my phone.
[GRUNTING]

Oh, man, Bea,
we are having the greatest time!

We're birds now. And we have a bird mom
and she takes us to the park,

and we play games together.
We're one big happy family!

How about you, girl? What's the gossip?
Give me the spiel.

Who's dating who? What you hearing
through the grapevine?

MILO: Dish me a scoop!
What's the jibber jabber?

-Give me the dirt!
-[GRUNTING]

Okay, sweetie, could you put Oscar
on the phone, please?

Okay!

Hey, Bea, we're birds now!

Wait, what are you talking about?

Is this like when you guys dress up
as dwarves and wizards?

[BLOWS RASPBERRY] No.
That's just silly pretend stuff!

Having a bird mom is the best!
She cooks for us.

She cleans up after Milo. It's great!

-Huh?
-Well, gotta go.

We're about to get our haircut.

-We'll see you later, Bea!
-Bye, Bea!

-Guys!
-Bea Goldfishberg!

Put your cell phone away!

I'm trying to teach everyone something.

What class is this again?

Man, I love being a bird!

Why were we ever fish?

[CHUCKLES]
Yeah, we were pretty dumb!

[LAUGHING]

[COOING]

-[BOTH SCREAM]
-My beautiful curls!

My beautiful swag.

Bird Mom, what's going on?

Why do we need haircuts?

[SQUAWKING, CHIRPING]

Dude, I don't think we should be here.
This is an elementary school. Ow!

It's okay, dude.
At least they give us free...

Hey! Doctor Owl, Cassandra's eating
my bird seed!

-[HOOTS]
-Cassandra!

-[HOOTS]
-Cassandra did it! She right there!

-[HOOTS]
-What is it with this guy?

-[BELL RINGS]
-[CHIRPING]

[COOING]

-We don't like bird school.
-We don't like it.

[LAUGHING]

[CHIRPING]

Soccer practice?

-But, Bird Mom, we don't like soccer!
-[GROWLS]

[CHIRPING]

-[PANTING]
-OSCAR: Oh!

[OSTRICH HONKING]

[COOS]

[CRANE GRUNTING]

[OSCAR GRUNTING]

Ow.

[PIANO MUSIC]

[PIANO PLAYED POORLY]

[GROANS]
I don't wanna be a bird anymore.

Bird Mom, can we go home now?

[COOS]

-What did she say?
-She said we're going to flight school!

Flight school!

I've always dreamed of flying!

Fish can't fly, Milo!
We've been over this!

Imagine how embarrassed Bird Mom will be

when the other birds find out
her babies can't fly!

Relax, bro, it's probably gonna be, like,
a private lesson kind of thing.

[CHIRPING, SQUAWKING, HOOTING]

[CHIRPING]

[COOING]

[GULPS]

-Oh, man, this is bad.
-K... Keep it together.

[HONKING]

-Uh-oh. We're dead.
-What did he say?

Okay. This is the part
where somebody saves us, right?

-Hey!
-Oh, we're so glad to see you!

How'd you find us?

Your bird mom invited us!

[COOING]

She is so sweet!

Bea! What do we do?
We can't fly!

And we don't wanna embarrass Bird Mom.

Oh, don't worry, guys.

[CHUCKLES] I mean, it's not like
they're gonna toss you off a cliff!

[SCREECHES]

[CHIRPING]

[CHIRPING]

Uh, don't worry,
I'll go talk to Bird Mom.

Please hurry!

Ms. Bird Mom, you need to stop them!

They're fish! They can't fly!

-Bea!
-Help us!

They're gonna fall!

-No, no, no!
-No, no, no!

-Please you have to listen to me!
-Shh.

[GRUNTING]

-We're not going...
-[GRUNTING]

[HONKS]

BOTH: Huh? [SCREAMS]

[SCREAMING CONTINUES]

-Oh, no!
-[COOING]

[SCREAMING]

Well, bro, it looks like we're pancakes!

Wait, look!
The cat is putting out a cushion!

-We're saved!
-We're saved!

Wait, look again!
He's sitting on the cushion!

-We're doomed!
-We're doomed!

Bird Mom, please listen to me!

They're fish! Not birds!

They can't fly! They swim!

[COOS]

We swim, no fly!

We're not birds! We're not your babies.
We can't fly!

[GASPS, GRUNTS]

-Huh? Bird Mom!
-Huh? Bird Mom!

[COOS]

-[LAUGHING]
-[WILFORD MEOWS ANGRILY]

-Oh, no!
-[ROARING]

-OSCAR: Oh!
-[MEOWS ANGRILY]

-Whoo-hoo!
-Whoo-hoo!

Whoo-hoo! Yay!

-We're sorry we can't stay!
-We love you, Bird Mom!

[COOS]

Bye, Bird Mom!

[COOS]

-Bye-bye!
-Bye, Bird Mom.

[COOS]

Bye-bye.

[COOS]

[COOS]

-MILO: Bird Mom?
-[COOS]

It's movie night at our place tonight!

[COOS]

So, Goldfish, you expect me to talk?

No, Mr. Trout.
I expect you to fry! [LAUGHS]

Can we have some popcorn, Bird Mom?

[RETCHES]

-[MILO AND OSCAR CHEER]
-OSCAR: Wait for it!

SHELLSEA:
Ew! Grody!

Hey, Snake.
Thanks for getting us a heat lamp.

Finally feels like summer in here.

-Feels really nice, doesn't it?
-Sure does.

Why didn't we get one sooner?

Oh, no reason.
It's just that I'm cold blooded,

so sometimes the heat
makes me go a little wild.

We snakes do crazy things
around heat lamps.

Oh, yeah? Like what?

[CHOMPS, GAGS]

Gross! Get me out of here!

I think I've had enough sunshine
for one day.