01x05 - You Camp Take It with You

[bunniefuu]

Ah-hyuck!

♪ H-h-h-hit it ♪

♪ Like father, like son ♪

♪ You're always number one ♪

[both] Yes!

♪ There's buddies
There's pals ♪

Yeah!

♪ You always seem to work things out ♪

♪ Can't you see you're two of a kind ♪

♪ Lookin' for a real good time ♪

Whoa!

♪ A real good time ♪

Aah!

♪ Report to the Goof Troop ♪

♪ And we'll always stick together ♪

♪ Always stick together ♪

♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ The best of friends forever ♪

♪ Side by side wherever we go ♪

♪ We're always ready to roll ♪

♪ Now gimme a beat ♪

♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ And we always stick together ♪

Gawrsh!

♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ The best of friends forever ♪

♪ Now we're calling everyone ♪

♪ Come along and join the fun ♪

♪ Report to the Goof Troop ♪

♪ Baa ba doo da bop baa ba doo bop ♪

Yeah!

[dogs barking]

[Max snoring]

Huh? What?

Yeah!

Yahooey!

All right!

Summertime!

Stardate,
four-nine-five-oh-point-less.

It is summer vacation on the planet earth,

and we have not yet begun to goof.

You had the whole school year to sleep!

[P.J. snoring]

[Max] P.J.? Peej, wake up!

[snorting]

[yelps]

[barking]

Oh! What the...

Pete, you know we only play
with the puppy outside,

especially when Mommy's trying to sleep.

Oh, but, Peg...

Now, you two make yourselves scarce!

Up and at 'em, P.J.!
I want to ask you about this.

[snorting] Huh?

Wakey, wakey, peejey-weejey!

Now about this ball...

Uh, I really don't have time
to play ball now.

Max and I got some big plans.

Oh, by the way, cool hat, Dad.

[doorbell rings]

-Hiya, P.J.
-Hi, Mr G.

Nice kid.

[doorbell rings]

Oh, hi there, Pete,
got problems with your plumbing?

-See you later, Pop.
-Bye, Mr. G.

So long, boys. Have a good time.

So what do we do first?

I don't know, scare up a beetle
for my sister's bed?

-Too pedestrian.
-Oh, yeah.

Oh, how about see
how many comics we can read

before the convenience store kicks us out?

Warmer, uh, but whatever we do,
it has to be worthwhile.

Constructive, socially redeeming.

[P.J.] Anything yet?

[Max] Not yet, there just isn't...

[gasps]

Wait a minute!

I think we've found what
we're lookin' for.

Condition red, Lieutenant Peej,

prepare to launch photon torpedoes!

Aye, aye, Captain.

[squeaking]

Torpedoes set on full power, Captain.

[Max] Lieutenant, fire photon torpedoes!

[yelping]

[whimpering]

The alien has taken refuge with your baby
sister's ship, lieutenant.

Oh, Captain. There's only one thing to do.

[both] Blast her!

But what if she tells Mom?

Whose gonna complain?

When we're done with her,
she'll be cleaner than ever! [laughs]

[coughing]

Oh, drat, the stupid, blasted,
dang thing, I gotta...

[p*stol] Daddy, Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!

Help, help, help, Daddy, Daddy,
Daddy, help, help, help!

Cease fire! Cease fire!

It's out of control!

[Max] Stop!

[wailing] Help!

[growling]

Peter, that's much too
big a bite for puppy!

[whooshing]

-[p*stol wailing]
-Whoa!

-[p*stol] Ahhh!
-Oh, no!

It's out of a*mo.

Yeah! Do you think they know it was us?

[Pete] Oh, boys?

Do you suppose we could have

a moment of your precious
summer vacation? Hmm?

Never too early to consider
a career in the merchant marine.

Well, if that was my kid,
I would run away from home!

If my kid was your kid,
I'd still be an idiot!

Oh, yeah? Well it was your kid
that told him to do it, see?

It was your kid that listened to him! Ow!

Well, how about we look at this
as a really unique way...

Come on, Dad, it wasn't all Max's fault!

-[overlapping chatter]
-[Peg] Excuse me!

Excuse me! Excuse me, please!
Can I just have a moment...

[shouting] Quiet down!

So, what are you two waiting for?

-Huh?
-Yeah! Huh?

You're fathers, they're sons.
It's summer vacation.

Do some bonding, for goodness sakes!

Well, gawrsh! I don't think we can keep
them tied up for the whole summer.

Can we?

[Peg sighs]

Summer vacation is when
fathers take their sons away,

far, far away,

leaving the rest of the family
in peace and quiet,

and teach them... thingies.

Yeah, yeah! The great outdoors!

Ah-hyuck! Right in the lap
of mother nature!

Why, I can teach P.J. to be strong,
courageous, to live off the land!

And Max will learn to be independent,

self-reliant and not to sit on pine cones!

[both] Son, we're going camping!

[both] Camping?

[Max] We're doomed! We can't plug
our video games into a campfire!

-And-And we'll have to sleep on rocks!
-[whimpers]

Isn't it against the law to force kids
to camp against their will?

[scoffs]
You call that camping, Goof?

This is camping.

You won't survive sunset in the wild,

if you get there at all.

We'll see who gets there and who doesn't.

Let's go, Max.

Oh, no, you don't!
If it's a race you want, you got it.

[Goofy] Come on, Maxie!
We got some ground to cover!

[horn blaring]

[tires screeching]

Whoa!

We're losing the trailer!

Whoa! Take the wheel, Max!

But I'm only 11 and a half years old!

That's OK, Max!
This car's old enough to drive itself!

Whoa!

[Max, laughs]
You need a license to do this?

[horn blaring]

Sunday driver!

-[honking horn]
-So long, sucker! [laughs]

[Goofy] Whoo!

Wow!

Gawrsh!

[gulps] Sure wish I'd skipped breakfast!

-[bell dinging]
-[tires screech]

Hey!

Perfect! This camping stuff
is more fun than I thought!

Ah-hyuck!

Here we are!
Everything the camper could want.

Fresh water, clean air,

Pete and P.J.

Pete and P.J.?

[Pete and Goofy] This is my spot!

This is my spot, Goofer!
Back off, will ya? Put it in reverse.

-Come on... Hey, get out of here!
-This is mine, I tell ya.

-P.J.!
-Max!

Oh, dude! Maybe this won't be
so bad after all.

Now, you stay on your side of the line,

and we'll stay on ours!

[crow cawing]

[Goofy] ♪ Twenty-three bottles
Of milk on the wall ♪

♪ Twenty-three bottles of milk ♪

♪ If one of those bottles
Should happen to fall ♪

♪ Twenty, uh, two bottles
Of milk on the wall ♪

-Ah-hyuck!
-Will you please stop singing that song?

OK, keep your pants on.

I can never remember the rest
of the words anyway.

Now, Max, you just watch me,

and I'll show ya how
to put up the tent! Ah-hyuck!

Stand back, Maxie-boy!
This could get kinda dangerous!

[buzzing]

Uh, Dad?

Not now, Max, I'm concentrated.

P.J., my boy, remember
the one rule of camping...

"Look out for yourself".

Look out for yourself!

[laughs]
Attaboy, you got it first time!

[buzzing]

Yow!

[screaming]

Aah!

[splash]

[Goofy] "Insert tab R in slot S,

connect post three with hook six,

and right foot blue, left hand yellow."

Dad, are you sure you don't need any help?

Oh, heck no! This is a cinch!

Another second or two and...

Whoa!

-Help! Whoa!
-Are you OK?

Hmm! Better check the

"What to do when you don't know
what to do" section.

[P.J.] Uh, Dad?

[laughs] Guess I showed those wasps
I knew how to handle them!

You did?

Whoopsie Daisy!

[yelping]

[screams]

[thump]

Yow!

Ah-hyuck! Those ants look just like ants.

[screams]

[screaming]

Ouchie.

Aah!

[splash]

Are you OK?

Get the number of that
hit and run driver, would ya?

The camper has to make sure

the food's out of the reach
of wild animals.

Rule number three. "Be careful."

Ah-hyuck, exactly, Max!

Now, let's rustle up some firewood
so we can fix supper!

Hmm, next time I go into that river,
I'm going to stay dry

or know the reason why!

[Max stammering] Are you sure
I can't help you with that?

Nope! Why don't you go ahead
and get the food ready to cook?

[sighs] OK, Pop!

Look at that! Ah-hyuck!
I nearly missed a piece!

[straining]

Whoa!

Whoa!

[screams]

[burps]

Huh?

[groans]

Whoa!

Huh! Well, that takes care of that!

Hey! What do you...

Help!

[raft squealing]

[screaming]

Who in blue blazes
do you think you... [gasps]

A bear!

[screams]

Look! A baby bear!

What's he doing here all alone?

Oh, maybe he's lost and needs some help.

Max, that's a bear!

Let's see if he needs help.

See if he needs help?

[humming]

Oh, Max! Dinner will be ready in a jiff!

[Pete screaming]

Gawrsh! The little guy must be hungry.

[Pete] Whoa!

Run for your lives! Call the militia!
Wild bears on the loose!

[chittering]

You mean that thing right behind you?

[screams]

[chitters]

[Pete] But that's not...

I mean, that's what-- down by the river...

I think bears are bigger, Petey.

That's it! I've had it!

This woods isn't big enough
for us and your small mind!

-We're leaving!
-No, we're leaving.

Anyplace is better with you not in it.

-P.J.!
-Max!

[both] We're leaving!

Where is that kid?

I don't like them wandering off
when there's bears around.

[both] Bears? The bears got our boys!

[both] The bears got our boys!

The bears got our boys!

The bears got our boys!

-Gawrsh! What will we do?
-Come on, Goof.

I know just how to handle this!

What are we doing now, Pete?

We're doing what a man
in the wilderness has to do

if he's any kind of a man at all!

We're hunting bear.

Bare? Ah-hyuck! Gawrsh!
I'm freezing as it is.

Now let's see. r*fles, traps, ropes,

net, moose call, decoys...

Oh, yeah! I nearly forget the b*ll*ts!

[Goofy]
Maybe they're in your pocket.

[trap snaps]

[screams]

When an idea latches onto ol' Petey-boy,

he just don't quit.

Hmm, what's he up to now?

Whoa! Oopsie!

Whew!

Oh, oh, thanks, Goof.

Ah-hyuck! No problem, ol' Petey-boy.

[screaming]

-Good idea, Pete!
-[splash]

We'll cover more ground if we split up!

Huh! Son? Son!

Son! Son! Where are ya?

Son? Son!

Son?

Son? Son?

Son? Son!

No! My son!

I've gotta save my son!

[gasps]

[roaring]

Gawrsh, from up here I'll be able
to see every little...

thing.

Good skunky, nice skunky.

Whoopsie!

[muttering]

[inhales]

[Pete screaming]

-I think my dad is calling me.
-[chuckles]

Probably thinks you've been eaten
by a bear or something.

Uh, maybe we ought to go back, Max.

I mean, that bear is a wild animal.
[scoffs]

We couldn't find him even if we tripped...
Oh...

[both] A bear!

[all screaming]

-[gasps]
-[softly] Why isn't he running away?

Because, it's just like I told you.

-He needs our help.
-Help him do what?

Find his huge, angry, hungry parents
so they can eat us?

Remember the three rules of camping.

"Be clean, be courteous and be careful".

[normal voice] Helping this little guy
is the courteous thing to do.

You'll let me know when we hit that
part about "careful."

Trust me!

A-ha! Now I'll catch
that bear bare-handed!

[shouting]

Ow!

[clattering]

All right, you moth-eaten rug,

where's my son?

Huh?

Oh, hi, Pete. Ah-hyuck!

Any luck with that bear?

Guess not. OK, Pete, now what do I do?

Just dangle there and look delicious,

bait's supposed to be smelled, not heard.

[gulps]

[stuttering] Bait?

Hmm, perfect!

Uh, Pete, you sure about this?

[growling]

[roaring]

[teeth chattering]

[teeth chattering]

I got him! I got him!

I don't got him! I don't got him!

[growling]

[roaring]

Don't worry, Petey-boy! I'll save ya!

Oops!

Yow!

[screaming]

Whoa!

[growling]

Gangway!

Move it, buster!

-What is it, ya Goof?
-[roars]

[all clamoring]

[all] Dad!

-Max.
-P.J.

Junior!

Aw, son!

Mmm, Daddy!

-Aw, Dad!
-Max! Ah-hyuck! Ah-hyuck!

Come here, ya little write-off!

-Another marshy-mallow, son?
-Thanks, Dad!

Now this is my idea of camping out!

-[Goofy] Ah-hyuck!
-[Max] Ah-hyuck!

♪ Gimme a beat ♪

[theme music playing]

Yeah!