01x01 - Everything's Coming Up Goofy

[bunniefuu]

Ah-hyuck!

♪ H-h-h-hit it ♪

♪ Like father, like son ♪

♪ You're always number one ♪

[both]
Yes!

♪ There's buddies
There's pals ♪

Yeah!

♪ You always seem to work things out ♪

♪ Can't you see you're two of a kind ♪

♪ Lookin' for a real good time ♪

Whoa!

♪ A real good time ♪

Aah!

♪ Report to the Goof Troop ♪

♪ And we'll always stick together ♪

♪ Always stick together ♪

♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ The best of friends forever ♪

♪ Side by side wherever we go ♪

♪ We're always ready to roll ♪

♪ Now gimme a beat ♪

♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ And we always stick together ♪

Gawrsh!

♪ We're the Goof Troop ♪

♪ The best of friends forever ♪

♪ Now we're calling everyone ♪

♪ Come along and join the fun ♪

♪ Report to the Goof Troop ♪

♪ Baa ba doo da bop baa ba doo bop ♪

Yeah!

[humming]

Oh, Max, lunchytime.
[chuckles]

Get them while they're messy!

Thanks, Dad! One-nothing!

[chuckles] One-all!

[chuckles] Oh!

If it's meatballs, it must be Wednesday.

Here you are, Mr. G.

Thanks, George!
Flying chicken wings tomorrow.

Hmm, wonder what it is.

They say good things
come in small packages.

[meows]

Max! It's my diploma!

[narrator clears throat]

Mr. G. G. Goof

has successfully defeated
its advanced beginners' course

and is hereby awarded
the degree of W.W.D.,

Widget Waffler Deluxe!

Oh, joy! Rapture!

Now I can take that job in Spoonerville,
my old home town!

Start a-packin', Maxie,
we're moving up in the world!

Leave home? But-But, Dad,
what about my friends?

Plenty of trees in Spoonerville,
they even got a lake!

You won't have to fish
in the sink anymore!

-Really?
-Yup!

Why, my old school pal Pete lives there!

Wait till you meet him.
[chuckles]

What a guy!

[Pete humming]

[bell dings]

Whoa! Got a tiger by the gills!

-Whoo! Ride 'em, cowboy...
-[dog growling]

[Pete] Timber!

Miserable excuse for a flea circus,
nothing but a waste of fur.

Let's see now,
I'll put Pete's palm grove there,

Pete's picnic haven here,

Pete's private putting green right there.

And let's see, we'll put dry-dock
for my boat right there,

the cabana right about there.

Ooh, got a house in the middle
of the cove, ha!

-That's gotta go.
-Dimplebuns!

Are you still having delusions
of trout ponds

in the middle of
my real estate listing?

Aw, but, peach pits,

I need my own fishing resort to relax in!

Peg! Here it comes again!

[shrieking]

It's my stress level!

[Pete babbling]

Oh, I'm doin' them facial aerobics!

Oh, no, no!

I'm hyperventilating!

[exhales]

I don't know why,

but this house has been
harder to sell than the mumps.

OK, if I can't find
a buyer by 9:00 tonight,

it's yours.

Nine o'clock, eh?

[scheming laughter]

Oh, careful, Homer, dishes!

Slow but safe, that's me, Mr. G.

Sure have had some good times here.

And you'll have more
in Spoonerville, too!

You'll see, we're gonna
get us a nice little house

with a lawn and a garden

-and tomatey plants!
-[honk]

Well, guess that's everything, Homer.

Go on ahead, Mr. G.

I'll meet you in Swoonerspoon.
Spooners... [babbling]

-Yeah, I'll be there.
-[crashes]

Time to say goodbye. [sniffles]

Wonder what the old homestead's
gonna do without us?

The price is right,
it's got a beautiful view,

and just wait till you see inside!

Wowsers, this is nice!

Well, I wonder what's on the early show?

I'm going to tell you what's a fact, baby,

if the upstairs is nice as the downstairs,
we gonna take it!

Oh! Wonderful! I'll be right back
with the paperwork!

What? No cartoonies?

[shrieks]

Well, kick the dog and spit in the fire.

A genuine arachnabitis pokus!
[chuckles]

Just what I need for my collection!

Hmm... bug-lover, eh?

[line ringing]

-Hello?
-Hello, neighbour.

I'm with the concerned neighbourly buyers'
protection agency.

Did that shyster real estate
agent tell you that your house

is on an earthquake fault?

[screaming]

[buyers screaming]

Argh!

That's the tenth time this week.

What am I doing wrong?

[chuckles]

Earl's rents?
I want to rent a steamroller.

How big? [laughs]
Big enough to flatten a house!

[tires screeching]

[engine misfiring]

[Goofy panting]

Let's see now, was that the first
turnpike past the second interstate,

or the third state past the first turnoff?

Dad! Dad!

Yahoo! There she is, Maxie!

It's all downhill from here!

Ah-hyuck! Plumb forgot to call ol' Petey
and tell him we're coming!

Hmm... let me see here,
I need one steamroller,

couple dozen palm trees, hundred begillion
gallons of trout eggs...

-[phone ringing]
-[Pete mumbling]

-Hello?
-[Goofy chuckles]

Nah.

[ringing]

[gibberish]

Goofy? Yeah! [laughs]

Yeah, long time no see.

Not long enough,
you brainless... [mumbles]

You say you're coming to Spoonerville?

Ah, gee, that's swell.

Ah, listen, ah,
don't take the main road.

Bridge's out, lots of construction...

Dad! Um, Dad!

Here's whatcha do...

Oh, take the first left, 700 miles,

then due south for three days
till we cross the state line.

-[Pete chuckles]
-Gee, thanks, Pete!

-See you soon!
-Bye-bye!

[laughs] If you ever find me!

[laughs mockingly]

[screaming]

Well, hiya, waffles! [chuckles]

Knew I forgot something.

[both screaming]

[shrieking]

-Stop! Stop!
-[horn blares]

Hey! Hey! Get... Come on, waffles,
get off my head...

[train horn blowing]

Say, you hear something?

[Max stammering]

[Max] Dad!

-[ringing]
-[train horn blowing]

[Max screaming]

-[Goofy] Ahhh! Ooh!
-[Max screaming]

[both screaming]

Maxie! My old home town!

Let me give you the 10-cent-tour.

Entering Spoonerville,
built on a reclaimed swamp in 1932,

and home of the world's
worst-dressed store window.

On your right the drive in,
the drive-thru,

the drive-up, the dry cleaners.

Museum's got the slowest snail,
seediest grape,

and the only known prehistoric
gopher skeleton.

On your left, El-bobbo burgers,

home of the double-cheesing
people-pleasing ton of fun on a bun.

Got your high school, grade school,
preschool, summer school,

cemetery, aviary,
and the home of Chuck Berry!

Here we have the suburbs. A chicken in
every pot and a boat in every drive...

Whoa!

[dings]

[groaning]

[both screaming]

[cat yowling]

-Ah! Goofy?
-Peg?

Oh, I haven't seen you since high school!

You're still pretty
as your homecoming picture...

Oh, now cut that out. Why didn't you...
p*stol! Stay away from those slugs!

-Slugs?
-Tell me you were...

It's so good to...
I thought I told you

to leave them alone!
They're slimy, filthy.

Oh, and who's this?

-Oh, Peg? My son, Max!
-Hi, Max! [chuckles]

Oh, listen, we sort of dinged
your boat a bit there...

Oh, Pete'll be so glad to see you
he won't even notice.

-You sure?
-I'm sure, come on in!

We've got so much to catch up on!
And wash your hands!

Whoa! Those guys are dead meat!

When Dad sees this,
he's gonna blow a gut!

Nuh-uh, betcha this time it's his spleen!

-Quarter?
-You're covered.

[Peg] Oh, p*stol, P.J.!

Oh, come say hello to our guests!

Kids, this is Max.
His dad and your dad grew up together!

-Uh, hi.
-Hi.

Hiya! How you doing? Nice to meet you.

Let me shake your hands while they're
still attached to your arms!

[whirring]

Five minutes and the deadline's up.

By morning, that house
will be fish fodder!

[gasps]

[babbling]

[cries]

[screams]

[P.J.] You were right. Spleen.

Is that you, Honeybuns?

[chuckles] Hiya, Pete!

[babbling]

Ah, it's his stress level.
Quick! He's hyperventilating!

Hold him down! Hold him down!

Take 10 deep breaths, Petey!

One, two, three...

Did that last shuddery one count
as one or two? Better start over.

One...

[crashing]

My baby!

Timber!

Whoa!

[scream echoing]

-Awesome!
-Unbelievable!

-Radical!
-Gosh!

Well! Who's for dinner?

Weirdest video game I ever saw...

You know, kids, your dad's a prince.

Kind, humble, a real crown jewel
in the hard-hat of humanity.

Where'd they say they were from?

But butter lips,
I had work to do tonight!

Why didn't you invite them
to dinner next year?

Oh, now, peach pits,
I didn't invite them for dinner.

Oh, goody-goody!

I invited them to stay with us!

[whimpering]

[clattering]

See what I mean?

Your pop's busting a leg to whip
us up a really swell feast!

Outer Mongolia?

Crock pot, have you lost your garbanzos?

Oh, it's only for a night or two,
just until their furniture gets here.

[stuttering] Furniture?

They're moving?

Not to somewhere in our state?

Not to our town?

[cries]

Not our street?

Uh-huh.

[Pete crying]

You hear that? [cries]

What a guy!

Crying for happiness
to have us as his neighbours.

[Goofy crying]

Mars.

[Goofy] Well, Peg, if you ask me,

the coach calling your future hubby
"putty-fingers Pete" just wasn't fair.

Not his fault he bobbled the ball
and lost us the big game.

Whoa! You really lose the big game, Pop?

You always told us you won!

How...

-[Pete grunting]
-Bedtime, p*stol.

P.J., why don't you take Max
up to your room?

[shattering]

Now, try and be pals, OK?

Any son of Pete would be
a swell friend to have!

If you say so, Dad.

[shouting] P.J.!

Now don't get too friendly
with that kid, see?

He's crawling with Goof germs.

Why, you catch one of them and you'll
wind up just like them,

the ears, the nose,
the "Ah-hyucks", the works!

Why, I've seen it happen
and it ain't pretty.

Now protect yourself, see?

[growling]

Man! What'd you do to get all this stuff?

You got the first edition
Toxic Offenders?

-Rad! Can I see one?
-Uh, you know,

I'm sorry, man, 'cause,
you know, dad doesn't want me

exposing them to the air or creasing
the pages or anything like that.

Oh. Well, hey, you wanna fly your plane?

[imitates airplane sound]

I can't. Dad says one crash
and I'm history.

k*ller! Look at your skateboard!

Looking's all I can do.

Dad doesn't want the wheels scuffed.

P.J., is there anything in here
you can play with?

Um, no.

Dad says my stuff's like an investment?

You know, gotta keep it in mint condition.

[vocalizes] Or else.

You poor dude.

Starving at the banquet table of boyhood.

I... whoa! You got an MI-40

radio-controlled
all-terrain combat carrier?

-Yeah.
-Still sealed in the box?

Mm-hmm!

Dad says street dirt
will get in the gears.

-What's wrong with the sidewalk?
-Too many leaves.

-The garage?
-Car grease.

-Kitchen?
-Crumbs.

-Your room?
-Carpet lint.

Well, did he nix the walls and ceiling?

Um, no.

[Max] Then I got an idea!

[Pete] So, stick your house in the middle
of my lake, will you?

Fire one!

[laughing]

[tapping]

[P.J.] Yo, Maxie!

-[Max] Take her, P.J.!
-[P.J.] Bandits at 4 o'clock!

Charge!

[Pete] Stop that thing!

It's making my house
break out in chicken pox!

No, Dad! Not that button!

Aah.

When's that moving Van
getting here?

Anybody for pie?

[P.J.] Look out, Dad!

[Max] Yank the batteries!

[ticking]

[growling]

[growling]

Would've settled for a welcome mat

and you're giving me
a whole cot to sleep on!

Thanks, Petey!

Thanks, ha! Thank my wife. [laughs]

You long-eared dipstick,

she told me to be nice to you,
you slimy little...

One night on that cot and you'll
be running for the nearest motel!

[crickets chirping]

-[clattering]
-What was that? Peg, Peg!

[sighs]

[clattering]

[babbling]

Oh, you're still stressed out, huh?

Well, I got a sure-fire cure.

I'll croon you to snooze land

with my old Goofy family lullaby!
Ah-hyuck!

♪ Sandman's late but don't you cry
Petey Petey ♪

♪ Count them sheep and shut them eyes
Oh my Petey-pie ♪

♪ Going to snore all night
Going to snore all day ♪

♪ The sandman's waiting
For the porcupine ♪

♪ Oh Petey boy ♪

[crashing]

Still awake.

Hmm, must need another chorus.

[babbling]

[Pete screaming]

Step on it, Pop!
Get that stuff to Spoonerville!

What? And risk Mr. G.'s dishes?

[Pete] Sanity before crockery!

♪ This is the way we dump
The Goofs dump the Goofs ♪

♪ This is the way we dump the Goofs ♪

[vocalizing]

[crash]

Our stuff! We're home!

Hooray! Yahoo!

[sniffles] Aw, thanks, Petey!

You're a prince, a lifesaver...

[Pete screaming]

[babbling]

[babbling]

[panting]

Wait a minute, what am I flipping out for?

I did it!

I got them out of my house!

And first thing in the morning,

I'll get them out of their house!

That's what I'm going to do.
Yes, oh, that's a smart Petey.

Oh, that's a good boy.

[snoring]

[Goofy] Step lively, Maxie,
we got to bang this place into shape!

[rattling]

♪ Gimme a beat ♪

[theme music playing]

Yeah!