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05x01 & 05x02 - Rodent Rebellion

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Garfield Show". Aired: 2 November 2009 – 24 October 2016.*
Watch/Buy Amazon


Show features loose continuity and is set in a different universe to the previous Garfield cartoon series Garfield and Friends, which is occasionally referenced.

05x01 & 05x02 - Rodent Rebellion

Post by bunniefuu »

foreign [Music]

[Music]

so [Music]

[Music] [Applause]

[Music]

if you're just joining us the search for the two fleeing suspects continues downtown

authorities tell me they have the area sealed off and one moment

i've been told the helicopter believes they've spotted

all them we have the suspects in our sights repeat we have the suspects in our

sights we should have them

[Music]

what are we gonna do i'll tell you what we're gonna do a lot of this

how did this happen what caused garfield and audi to graduate from domestic house pairs to the most wanted of wanted

criminals let's go back to the beginning of our story it all begins on this lovely sunny

morning a morning when you'd think nothing can go wrong [Music]

garfield are you home no

come back later i'm thinking century after next [Music]

is there anything more annoying in this entire world than normal [Music]

[Applause] yes normal playing the flute

don't worry boy i'll make it stuck

hey what's the big idea don't you like my music oh is that what it was

no i love your music normal you should go on a around the world tour with it

around the world tour cool how do i arrange that let me handle it

abu dhabi eighth class male please do not handle with care

all right i'm hearing very bad flute music coming

from somewhere everybody's a critic piece of cheese pup

[Music] i'm late for my meeting

i don't know why my alarm clock sometimes doesn't go off i turn it off so it doesn't wake me up

where's my coffee mug i have so much to do but at least i can

count on one thing garfield you're keeping this house free of mice absolutely

i made you a banana cream pie for dessert tonight it's in the refrigerator see you later bye bye

[Music] banana cream pie huh maybe before it gets back i'll have a

slice or two or four or

hey sqweek where are you going i have to go visit my sis and meet 24

new nephews but don't worry i will be in charge while i'm away

me in charge just keep an eye on everything oh no matter what you do keep that no

good cousin of yours away ratso sure he never comes around anyway see that he

doesn't hey i'm gonna go hit your ride with john into town

oh i've never been in charge of anything in my life what do i do just say no to everything

that means you'll be right about half the time and being right about half the time puts you way ahead of most people

who are in charge of anything being in charge is an awesome

responsibility i was once in charge of uranium but it died maybe i should have watered it either if you've been to portugal

[Music] oh yeah

okay [Music]

[Applause] [Music]

i thought they had you a little locked up they did let's just say i got time off for good

behavior oh yeah you went a whole week without causing

trouble oh cousin i meet my associate cecil

[Laughter] nice place boss lots of potential

you see we ain't got no other place to go all right with you if we stick around here for a few days a longer

no perfect we accept your gracious hospitality

come on cecil let's find something and the governor had this to say at today's press conference governor what do you

have to say about the recent increase in crime in our state i'm here to take full

responsibility and to say without a shadow of a doubt that it is everyone else's forfeit mine

[Laughter]

you see that's the way to be in charge my cousin ratzo is here with one of his friends

so two more small mouths to feed what's the big deal they're raiding the refrigerator

[Music] banana cream pie

that pie let me have it

i think i could have phrased that differently garfield this is my cousin ratzo and his

friend cecil they're only staying here for a few days i hope

okay you can stay but remember you can only eat the food that i don't

want to eat [Music]

oh there's plenty this isn't a bad way to eat pie

so the rule is we only get to eat the food it doesn't what rules can be changed

let's have a talk with some of the other rodents on the premises he's my cousin i didn't say he could stay but he's

staying and uh oh what should i do

don't ask me irv you're in charge yeah i'm in charge i don't think i like being in charge

i don't know about any use but i will not live off some gaps leftovers

uh we eat pretty well here garfield's owner brings in so much food for his cat that there's money for essay

especially like mayonnaise and i asked you about portugal why settle for scraps when you can have the whole thing we're

rodents we steal stuff let's tillage the fridge and eat everything

who's with me on this all right you'll see

the day will come when you'll all get behind me on this come on

[Music]

everybody hide i should have been watching for him

[Applause] [Music]

how nice to come home to a clean mouse free kitchen

i'm going to make you one of your favorite dinners tonight garfield i'm going to make you spaghetti and meat

[Music]

there is nothing worse than a mouse in my house two mice there is nothing worse than two three mice in my house

where maybe you're mistaking a can of cling peaches for a mouse common mistake

i just saw three mice and if you see three it means there could be hundreds of them in here

no not more than 30 or so you ever take a rat garfield you're a cat and that's

your responsibility you have until the morning to get rid of them and after that if i see one single mouse you'll be

eating raisins and tofu for the rest of your life [Music]

not one single mouse please

that's putting it mildly oh what i need is a brilliant plan to convince john that all the mice are gone

no i did that back in season one

no i did that back in season two and again in season three

[Music] fourth season twice

i got an idea for you listening

that could totally work in fact it's such a good idea i should have thought of it we'll do it

unbeknownst to garfield that is the moment that seals not only his fate but the fate of the entire city is the first

step towards the day that the rodents will take over

[Music]

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[Applause] [Music] we're not hiding

i am [Music]

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the day the rodents take over starts like any other day sunny peaceful things will not be

peaceful for long now remember we have to convince john that i've ridden the house of mice i put you all in a cage so

we can see then after i toss the cage through the window you go hide in the garage until things cool off now any

questions not deprive it you look funny for a

mouse are you sure you're not a rat my uncle alfred's a rat at least that's what my ambitious always says have you ever been to portugal i'm a mouse i just

look like a rat [Music]

buddy says john's coming everyone in your places

this idea of yours was brilliant oh my ideas are [Music]

i didn't get much sleep i had this horrible dream about my house being full of mice gee i wonder how that happened

but i'm sure by now you've gotten rid of all of your

stuff [Music] time for me to go to work damn grass

growl growl go help save us from the super efficient mouse chasing cat save

us more growling and more n*pples

[Music]

forever [Music]

nice job guys anything for you garfield you did it garfield you caught all the

mice what are you going to do with them

how'd they go [Music]

garfield i had no idea you could be so ruthless i think i'm going to make you a great

breakfast waffles i believe heroic actions deserve waffles

[Music] come on cousin open the door and let us out

[Music] what's wrong why aren't you letting us

out of here let's just say there's been a little change of plans cousin are you sure he's your cousin he

doesn't seem very nice to me i think ratso is a rat and i don't think he's ever been to portugal it's starting to

look that way [Music]

[Applause] that's just our mouse friends

sneaking back into their homes oh right this way guys

welcome to your new home no you don't i don't smell a rat those

are our friends hey want a candy

okay boy here catch sorry

[Music] okay i've had my dinner i've had dessert

must be time for dinner again come on

my lasagna not anymore where's earth where are all

the mice they don't live here anymore who are these guys they're your new tenants and there are a lot more of that

i'm good i'm running this place now get in my way and i'll make sure that our buckle guy

sees me and a couple of my brains here he'll he'll cut off my italian food

i sure hope you'll enjoy your raisins and tofu you have something to say

i didn't think so now get out of my kitchen [Music]

i am not going to take this lying down so i'm going to go lie down

there must be a solution for this there must be

relax it's just my stomach rumbling for a lack of food garfield i got you a pizza it's on the dining room table

pizza i'm saved i'm so hungry i'll even eat it if it has

anchovies on it and that's pretty hungry [Music]

it's yours it's yours it doesn't have anchovies

now you know what they call them rats right this way guys welcome

[Music] you're just in time folks your new

leader ratso is speaking down the beast [Music]

my fellow rodents and ganors we started with just a single scrap of

cheese

and why content ourselves with a single house when we could take over the entire

neighborhood [Music]

and this is the time to ask the question are we men

or are we mice [Music]

[Music]

he lives in this place

i don't mind me i was just leaving

stop him don't let him get away [Music]

[Applause] [Music]

[Music]

[Music] [Applause]

is the night we take over the neighbors [Applause]

[Music]

i just came down to say goodnight guys and thank you garfield for doing such a great job ridding this house of rodents

there probably isn't a rodent within a mile of this place nice work

[Applause] [Music]

[Applause] [Music]

hey somebody get something for lunch tomorrow

and don't forget the cranberry sauce

and police are investigating the rash of burglaries last night dozens of homes were robbed of furniture appliances and

even a roast turkey with cranberry sauce one of those burglarized was miss edna

shoehorn miss shoehorn can you tell us exactly what was taken oh i sure can well for one thing whoever

they were they took my good friend it was blue steel and it had a white

handle on it and they also took a trophy that i

bought when i was 11 years old for spelling anti-disestablishmentary

would you like to hear me spell it because i can no anything else taken miss you horn

yes they snuck into the bathtub and stole my husband's favorite rubber ducky

[Music] police speculate that the criminals couldn't have gotten far and that the

stolen items are probably nearby perhaps stored in someone's basement

mr arbuckle's basement naturally the governor immediately called a press conference

governor what do you have to say about the horrible crime wave that has hit the city i want to accept full

responsibility and say it is absolutely not my fault and that someone else is to

blame good day a follow-up question i'll get it do you think this crime wig could have

anything to do with the rats in our basement

[Music] yes i've returned from abu dhabi it was

a great flight i practiced my flute all the way back since there was no one else on the plane there wouldn't be would you like to hear me play now

[Music]

i'll get it i hope he likes horrible flute music odie this situation with the rats is the worst thing that's ever

happened to us it couldn't be worse uh hello

are you john arbuckle yes is this your house is the basement of it your basement yes yes uh what can i do for

you you can put your hands on the top of your head and interlace your fingers you're under arrest

under arrest [Music]

remember when i said things couldn't be worse well you're worse john behind bars rats

in the basement squeak and the other mice held prisoners don't forget no lasagna for garfield no lasagna for

garfield and things couldn't possibly get worse don't say that when you say that in this show they always do that's

right because soon the entire city will be at

the mercy of the rodent rebellion [Music]

but i didn't do what i tell you i don't know how all those things got into my basement [Music]

[Applause] [Music] is that all you could say at a time like

this oh that's right i forgot that is all you can say

i've gotta find a way to get those rats out of this house and john out of jail come on let's have a word with ratso

[Music]

it'll be so much fun spending time with uncle john priscilla i want to play with the kitty cat and i'm a nooba you're

just phyllis are you sure no well one of us is and i'll be glad to

see uncle john too but i didn't do it i tell you i'm

innocent that's what they all say you can tell about it down at the station

we may have to visit him in the slammer if i'm in jail who's going to take care of my cat and dog that's a good question

you take him in malloy i'll transfer the cat and dog to the animal shelter right [Music]

you're taking him to jail drusilla what did he do well maybe he had a library book that he

didn't return you're not gonna get away with this but i just did and we're gonna get away with

a lot more before we're done you like all the cheese in the city

[Music] that's mr cat and mr dog to you follow

me closely because i have no idea what i'm

we've come doing here people on cartoon shows are always yelled at and no one ever goes back

hey nervousness

[Applause] [Music] now garfield and odie are fugitives from

the law too we have to help them drusilla i'm a nooba i think

[Music]

[Music]

[Music]

let's get out of here before she comes back on the count of those rats i haven't

eaten since tuesday [Music] look at this i've been reduced to eating

garbage [Music] sandwich on holi

that way

i would like a hot dog with everything here you go pal one dog with everything

a hot dog with everything much better than a garbage sandwich on whole wheat

[Music]

oh

[Music]

you're right it's only a matter of time before she catches us

but we have to get away we have to save john and get rid of the rats and we go hi garfield

[Music] we want to help how can we help like i

didn't have enough problems now i have to deal with two little girls who always want to dress us up in frilly little

dresses and cody i think it's time for a fashion

show have any of you seen a puppy and an

overweight orange cat around here no and if you find the cat tell him he owes

me a hot dog with everything i think he needs a comb out oh doesn't he look good in that color

oh this blush goes good with fur perfect oh aren't they adorable

i still think odie needs to accessorize oh but yes they're adorable

quiet we're adorable excuse me ladies have any of you seen a puppy and an overweight orange cat

around here wait no officer we haven't have little girlfriends

thanks overweight okay let's go try and get

some rats out of our life and john out of jail

so no sign of the cat and the dog in the park negative malloy just a pair of twins and two other

little girls with excessive facial hair forget about the cat and dog for now we have reports of rat stealing cheese all

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[Music]

and proprietors at the jiffy mart report that the rats got away with 61 pounds of gorgonzola

you can't believe anything you hear on the news does anyone believe this story about rats stealing all the cheese in

[Music]

[Music] did town hear her say anything about cat stealing

hot dogs you leave a video alone you you you wrecked another cheese how do you

expect me to make a world of famous pizza without cheese i need my mozzarella i need my parmesan how do you

expect the beetle to make is a gourmet meatball sandwiches if you think about my important provolone

[Music]

[Music] okay i got you two home safely we'll

come back later and check on you goodbye

okay the first thing we have to do is get out of these clothes i don't care if you think you look good

in them we need to deal with those rats and we excuse them lovely ladies i want

to ask you oh i know what you're thinking yes i am the cutest cat in the world thank you

i don't think you're so cute yeah i'm looking for my friends garfield and otis so i can play my flute form

they live in that house but it seems to be filled with rats did you see my friends go by

garfield oh you mean that handsome debonair cat that everyone

loves no that would be me garfield is kind of dumpy and he eats

too much knock it off um odie give me a good threat

yeah i'll do that to you normal garfield you've changed we're dealing with a crisis normal john's in jail the mice

are missing rats have taken over the house and are starting to take over the city oh you know what's a crisis you in

that color i'm thinking maybe something in beige i'll tell you how bad things are we need

your help buddy let's get out of these outfits and

see what's going on in there [Music]

[Music]

in light of the massive cheese stealing crime wave the governor has just called an emergency press conference i have

appointed a special commission of my most trusted friends and advisors to look into this matter and

they have concluded unanimously that it is not my fault good day governor whose

fault is it if it isn't yours my opponent in the next election governor

you don't have an opponent yet in the next election well when i do it will be

that person's fault [Music] we have really taken over the house

there's all the mice still in the cage over there earth could not have let that no good cousin

of yours into the house it's your fault squeak my fault what are you the governor you

put me in charge while you were away i've never been in charge of anything half the time i'm not even in charge of

myself and now a terrible terrible thing is happening oh you're right

it's all my fault you're a very bad creature right you do bad things i do not like you if you had

any shame at all you would be ashamed of yourself shame shame shame oh this isn't over ratso

i know it isn't over in fact it's just beginning

oh yeah the new recruits are arriving boss look show em in no recruits

what kind of new recruits yeah that kind of new recruits come in

come in get comfy squirrels what's going on here i came for the free

cheese they promised but what's the sales page on a sales pitch it's our destiny

we got all the cheese in doubt now it's time for everything else to belong to us

you're all here to join in and take this city away from the humans you're here to join

the rodents rebellion

the rodent rebellion it's worse than it sounds and it sounds pretty bad it means total control by ratso and his furry

fiends while john arbuckle spends the rest of his life behind bars can garfield and his friends find a way

to stop it [Music] tune in for the final chilling chapter

i'm sure you're gonna be watching [Music] mr arbuckle as your lawyer i have

reviewed every square inch of your case i've examined all the evidence and the

arrest reports i've researched every one of the applicable laws and i'm here to

tell you yes yes you don't stand a chance

don't look so glum you could be out in oh say 20 years 20 maybe 30 who knows they

found a lot of stolen property in your basement but i didn't put it there honest listen i was thinking there were

rodents in my house maybe the rodents robbed all those homes and stashed their loot in my basement tell that to the

judge and you'll be lucky to get out this century garfield

garfield

we're all gonna band together and take over this town then the state

then the country [Applause] what are we gonna do we're gonna execute

a brilliant plan why do you have one no so you're all part of the wrong

rebellion excuse me why could i say something i'm a mole

moles are not rodents who are members of the mammal family oh well we'll make you

an honorary rodent okay raccoons are mammals too all right all right you raccoons are all

honorary rodents hello and as you can see i am a fetish as you mentioned i

know parrots are mammals you think i didn't know that that's our medals too i know i know what

the heck is going on here educational production team would like to point out

that most rodents like rats are mammals our screenwriter should really go back

to school i'm afraid good day all right now everybody's now an

honorary rodent pardon me but i'm a squirrel aren't you listening i said

everyone's an honorary rodent that squirrels are real rodents everybody get

out there and start stealing when you're done we all meet at the old cheese land

amusement park now

[Music]

oh i'm so excited about being an honorary rodent i have never been an

honorary anything before

[Music]

i knew you'd save us well that makes one of us i didn't know i'd save you

thank you so much it's a real car shield listen to this we've been getting reports from all over the city that not

just rats but other animals including squirrels raccoons and bats are on a crime we've got to stop them this is all

my fault why is it all your fault earth because while sweet was the way you put urban charge and herbal at his cousin rather stay here and ratzo took over the

house and brought in all his black friends and now they're taking over the city and why are we standing around here and shouldn't we be going somewhere to stop them like portugal mary margaret is

right talkative but right right no you might stay here you get mistaken for

rats normal you stay here and keep an eye on him fine with me come on

can i come and help i feel so responsible i keep telling you it wasn't your fault

i just want to try and help ratchet to the left of the stretch to

the right of us [Music] [Applause]

[Music] let's find some of the inner animals and see if we can talk some sense into their

furry little heads

[Music]

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with your controllers that's going to leave a grill mark robots

[Music]

we're not hiding i am

[Music]

[Music]

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malloy i spotted that cat dog again but i lost him give me your position i'll send several units to assist in the

search i have a feeling they're behind this whole thing [Music]

what are you doing getting cold did you pay for it no well then isn't that stealing hey yes

we shouldn't do that should we [Music] well then back on the shell figures

[Music] hey that woman needs your purse

rattle told us i could tweak whatever i wanted i'm not already rolled and you're

not a rodent you're a mammal remember and mammals don't steal oh you're right

you know you're right when you think about it it is wrong i said give this

back what did you steal it's a fresh steaming hot lasagna

you know sometimes honesty is overrated oh

i made this with my last piece of cheese

sometimes it hurts to be honest before dar that the other animals have stopped and are giving back the items they stole

and only the rats continued this crime wave ah i'm so tired of all this let me take

your mind off it all i will play my flute must you i must check out a little of this

hey how about that my flute playing is like the pied piper in that story oh

uh what story is that the pie fighter of hamlin a famous story from the 12th century about a piper who's playing had

a hypnotic effect on the rats and enables them to lure all the rats out of hamlin and portugal

normal if your flute playing had that effect on us hey erv's got an idea maybe

it would have that effect on casual ratso and his rats well let's try it [Music]

it'll work i know it'll work oh it has to i knew there was a reason the writer had me

carrying this thing around for the entire story okay we've taken care of the raccoons

the squirrels the moles but the rats we can't talk them out of acting like rats

all units we have the suspects in our sight

what are we gonna do i'll tell you what we're gonna do the letter

this is

didn't this whole story started like this like that it seemed familiar

[Music]

all right you two are coming with me

[Music] i can't believe it normal is actually good for something

we caught all the rats and it was irv's idea how to do it yeah me i did

something right okay i get the idea you had something to do with this any more rats we have to

arrest where are we going wherever the orange cat says to go

what is this place we're going to it's cheese land an abandoned amusement park for mice hey can i borrow your flute are

you my guest good i have a score to settle with cousin ratzo

we'll give you three minutes to go in by yourself cat

i don't like it all those rats and animals who were part of our rodent rebellion they should have been here by now with the loot

rats what do you mean we're rats would you trust us i see your point

so where are they you're not coming your rats are behind bars the other

animals have quit your rodent rebellion it's officially over

you're the one that's officially over oh you're about to be oh yeah

listen to this [Music]

and now for my next selection some chase music

[Music] can't get away now cat cesaro show them

what we do to someone who messes up my plan sure boss

[Applause] [Music]

ah

time to leave the amusement park guys the ride is over

[Music] between seeing what those rats do and all your help i think it'll be easy to

convince a judge to release your friend john i did good huh squeak you think maybe

next time you go on a trip i could be in charge again who else yeah i couldn't get it to make a sound

that's an art i'll demonstrate it a lot when i'm staying with you staying with us sure since i was such a hero you

can't throw me out or mail me to abu dhabi again i'll just hang around the house and practice all my flutes

i'd rather have the rats around look in garfield okay oh what if i don't

play the flute i have an ocarina i can play the xylophone oh i got a dulcimer

i'm really good at harmony as long as you play my favorite tune far far away

[Music]

[Music]