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04x17 - Garfield into the Wild

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Garfield Show". Aired: 2 November 2009 – 24 October 2016.*
Watch/Buy Amazon


Show features loose continuity and is set in a different universe to the previous Garfield cartoon series Garfield and Friends, which is occasionally referenced.

04x17 - Garfield into the Wild

Post by bunniefuu »

-[Garfield snores]

-[alarm clock]

[theme song]
[Jon] Don't you just love a trip
to our great national parks?
There's someone in that bush.
Ta-dah!
Tonight, after they're asleep,

we're gonna push that trailer

of theirs


over to the poison ivy bed.


Never trust guys who wear

masks all the time.

[evil laughs]

-[Nermal] Jon, wait for us!

-[Garfield] Don't go!

[Jon] Good night Garfield,
good night Odie.
Hey! You're not Garfield!
You are not telling anyone.
Don't you recognize us?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's Garfield.
He's Odie and me...

I'm the cutest kitten

in the whole wide world!

[evil laughs]
You're imposters!

And I'm going to see

that Jon finds out about this...

No, you're not.
[squeaks]

You stay in here

in case we want dessert.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Love mice.

But we won't on account

of we got tastier things here

to chow down on.
Right, right.
[together] Shall we?
[Garfield] Sure, Jon...

I'll have a fifth helping

of morning lasagna.

I don't know what's worse:
being lost in the woods
or waking up next to Nermal.
Ouch! Has Jon come for us?

-Why hasn't he come for us?

-Don't worry.


Any minute now, Jon will realize

he has a house full of raccoons

and not us.
Goodbye, Uncle Jon! Goodbye!
Have a good day at school.
So I'm still itching a little bit, Liz...

Plus, I'm still having

a little trouble with my eyes.

You won't believe this

but you know what Minerva

and Drusilla did

before they left for school?

They dressed Garfield,

Odie and Nermal up again.


No, not dresses.

They're in, like,

cheap raccoon costumes.
Pretty ratty ones, too.
And they don't smell so good.

[Nermal] I thought you wanted to wait

back there for Jon to find us.


[Garfield] My common sense

and my empty stomach

decided we had to start walking.

It's a good thing

we have this map.

If only we knew how to read it!

You'd think they'd at least put

a "you are here" sign

or something on these!
What we ought to do

is follow this river.

Too bad we don't have a boat.

[wood cracking]
Oh hi you guys!

They're the ones who shared

their honey with us yesterday!


How's it going?

Need a hand with anything?

Er, actually we do.

Is there any way

you guys could make us a boat?

A boat?

We usually don't do

custom orders


but since you were

so nice to us...

We will make an exception!
One boat coming up!
[they whisper]
There you go, me bucko!

[Garfield]

Thanks again, guys!


Good luck out there

on your journey home!

[they all bid farewell]
Stroke! Stroke!
Stroke! Stroke!

♪Row row row that boat♪


♪Gently down the stream♪


♪Paddle that river♪


♪Life is but a dream♪


♪Waters can carry you

With such grace♪


♪Take you to some better place♪


♪In this direction♪


♪You won't go wrong♪


♪Just let the river♪


♪Carry you along♪


♪Row row row that boat♪


♪Gently down the creek♪


♪Paddle that river♪


♪Find all that you seek♪


♪Row row row that boat♪


♪Gently down the stream♪


♪Paddle that river♪


♪Life is but a dream♪


♪Paddle that river♪


♪Life is but a dream♪

[howl]
[Garfield] Stroke! Stroke!

We seem to be going

faster and faster.


Look!

We don't even need to paddle!


We can just let the river

currents carry us along.


Garfield... Is that your tummy

grumbling again?

Not mine. Mine wants burritos

so it's only grumbling

in Spanish.

[alarmed scream]
Ah!
That's a...

The word you're looking for

is waterfall!

Reverse course!!

Stroke stroke

stroke stroke stroke!

It's no use!
This is it.

If you see lasagna,

tell it I loved it.

[screams]
So... Which way now?

Beats me.

The map was in the canoe.

What?

[Garfield] Well, let's just keep walking

and figure it out.


I shouldn't have to do

any of this.

I have awards and trophies.
I'm like royalty, you know.

[Fanfan] "Royalty?"

Did you hear that, Monique?


I think I've finally found

the right one!

You think so, Fanfan?
Highly possible.

Let's be ready with

the 'frog to the rescue' routine.


Welcome to the marshlands

très chers.


A frog! A frog!

Make it go away!

My name is Fanfan!
What is your name, handsome?
I do not talk to frogs.
The dog's Odie. I'm Garfield.
And this, I'm afraid, is Nermal.
I do not talk to frogs.

We're lost. Is there

any way you could guide us


across this swamp

we seem to be in?

Why, gladly. I'll do that

but I just have one tiny little

favor to ask you in return.


I need to get home.

Give her anything she wants.

I want a kiss from Nermal here!
Anything but that.
[frightened moan]
Even if I give you flowers?

Never!

I would never kiss a frog.


Never!

Lips that have touched flies

shall never touch mine!
No worries.

Why would anyone ever want

to kiss little old me, right?


Nermal! I can't believe

you just wimped out on us

over a tiny kiss!

I have my standards.

Kiss a frog?


Never! I'd rather

be eaten by an alligator.

What?
He got his wish.
"Do something?" What can I do?

Offer the alligator

an after-Nermal mint?


Let go directly

of that adorable cat,

yo' fiend, you!
Nermal?

Yo' got what yo' deserved,

fiend.

Now beat it!

Wow. Pretty impressive.

Especially for a frog!

You saved my life, uh...
Fanfan.
Fanfan!

I'm sorry

I said all those mean things.


Oh! Does it mean

I get my little kiss?


Okay. Hurry up

before I change my mind!


I did good this time,

didn't I, Fanfan?

Really convincing,
wouldn't yo' say?
Oh. They're still...here...

Don't mind me,

I'm gonna go sit over there...

Pay no attention.

Wait,

this whole thing was an act?


You had me swallowed

by this monster

just to secure yourself a kiss?
That is no monster.
That is Monique! Ouch!
I wouldn't have swallowed yo'!

Okay. Maybe chew you

like gum for a little bit

but that is all!
I'm sorry.

You have no idea

what it's like to be, well,

unattractive.
No! No, I don't.
[Fanfan] I just thought... well,

ever since I was

a little bitty polliwog,


my momma used to tell me

bedtime stories

about handsome princes.
They'd kiss a frog

and the frog would turn

into a beautiful princess.


[Fanfan] So when I heard you

mention being like royalty, I...

[Garfield grunts]
Well, never mind.

[Fanfan]

Let's go, Monique.


[Nermal]

Fanfan, wait...


♪I know that

Beauty's from the heart♪


♪If you don't know that,

You really oughta start♪


♪You can be just like me

With unending grace♪


♪Just put a smile on your face♪


♪When you're a frog

And you're green♪


♪You're the most unsightly thing

Some folks have seen♪


♪You think that

I can find a welcoming place♪


♪If I put a smile on my face♪


♪I know that beauty's

From the heart♪


♪I'll remember that

'cause I'm very smart♪


♪The bad stuff is really not

That hard to erase♪


♪If you put a smile on your face♪


♪Just put a smile on your face♪

I did it! I got my kiss!
Did it work?
Monique, Monique, how do I look?
Like you always did.
Still froggy.
I hate to bring this up but

we still have a long way to go

on our journey home!


We'll guide you

to the end of the swamp.

Hop on board!

Don't go gittin

your gussie up, dog!

I'm not going to eat you!

[Jon]
Don't you just love a trip to

one of our great national parks?


Never trust guys

who wear masks all the time.

Good night Garfield.

[Jon]

Good night Odie.


Jon's heading back to the city

and he's left us.


They're in like

cheap raccoon costumes.

We're lost. Is there any way

you could guide us across

the swamp we seem to be in?


We'll guide you

to the end of the swamp.

Hop on board!
[struggling sounds]

[Irv] Squeak!

I've been looking all over

for you. Where ya been?

In the cookie jar,

gnawing through ropes.


A bunch of raccoons

have taken over the house.

They're eating everything.

[Gnarly] Those pets really eat

and live well here,

don't they? Yeah, yeah.
Yup. I've had so much food,
I can't see my feet anymore.
Oh. Don't worry, Farley.

I can see them.

They're still there.


I've got to find a way

to make Jon realize


those aren't Garfield, Odie

and Nermal in raccoon costumes.


I can't eat another thing

for a week.


[together]

Us neither.

And I think I know how.
But you can't talk to Jon.

He doesn't even know

he has mice in his house.


He doesn't have to.

As I recently learned,


Garfield's favorite

Italian restaurant

now has online ordering.
[Vito's laugh]
[little laugh]
An order for one dozen lasagnas!
Must be Signore Arbuckle.

Ah, yes it is.

How did I know that?

[door bell]

If I ate another bite,

I'd explode.


Garfield, Vito just delivered

a dozen lasagnas for you!

More food?
Take it away, take it away!

The real Garfield would never

turn down lasagna!

You...you're real raccoons.

What have you done

with Garfield?


How could I let those raccoons

fool me for so long?


Garfield, Odie and Nermal have

been out in the wild all night.

I hope they're all right.

What about the raccoons,

Uncle Jon?

Oh, I had a word with them!
They have chores to do.

That human's all right,

isn't he?


Leaving us the house

while he's gone and all.


Yeah. And being raccoons,

we love washing stuff anyway.

Guys, guys! Hurry!

It's the season finale

of
Dancing with the Has-beens!

I will wash faster.

This is it, guys...

The desert starts here!


Here's a little gift

to remember me by.

It's from Paris...
and none too cheap!

[Fanfan]

I can't accept it.


It's too beautiful

for someone like me.


Thanks, Fanfan.

Thanks, Monique!


[Fanfan]

Goodbye!


I'm sorry

you didn't become a princess.

Maybe not.

But I'm starting to feel

a little bit like one.

We've been walking for hours

and all I see

is more sand and rocks!


Is that really a giant bone

in front of us?

Of course not!

Don't you know a mirage

when you see one, Nermal?


You'd think they'd know

what a mirage is.


Some of us are just

too smart to fall for...

[he moans with pleasure]

Imaginary or not,

this lasagna is mine!


Go find yourself

another mirage!

Guys! Over there... Look!

Odie, come back here,

you silly dog!

It's probably another mirage!
No, Odie's right!
It's really a road!
With a bus stop and everything!
If there's a bus stop,

that means that sooner or later,

a bus will come along.


We hop on it, we let it

take us where there are people,


we show someone Odie's ID tag

with Jon's address on it


and
voilà!

And we'll be home in no time!
[cheers]
No offense, Garfield,

but I've had enough of you

to last a lifetime!

You've had enough?

I was this close to abandoning

you in those swamps


just so I wouldn't hear anymore

of your constant whining!

My constant whining?

♪I am the world's outstanding cat♪


♪I don't think

I'd agree with that♪


♪My face is known

Both far and wide♪


♪For making people run and hide♪


♪We just don't seem to get along♪


♪I didn't want to do this song♪


♪When we're together, fights ensue♪


♪And it is all because of you♪


♪For we are best of,

Best of, best of enemies♪


♪With unease♪


♪For we are best of,

Best of, best of enemies♪


-♪He eats cheese♪

-♪He has fleas♪


♪For we are best of,

Best of, best of enemies♪


♪For we are best of,

Best of, best of enemies♪


♪For we are best of,

Best of, best of enemies♪


♪If you please♪


♪It's a breeze♪

[eagle's shriek]
[eagle's shriek]
[Odie screams]

Nermal! Did you get the license

number of that eagle?

[bus horn]
It's too late for Odie!

Let's hop on that bus

and save ourselves!


You hop on that bus

if you want, Nermal.

Me, I'm going after Odie!
What?
I can't believe I'm doing this!

Garfield! Wait!

I'm coming with you!

[bus horn]

I think that's where

that giant bird took Odie.

Odie! Are you up there?
[Odie barks]
Hang in there, Odie!

We're gonna come up there

and get you!


And how do you suggest

we do that?

Grow wings?

Maybe we can still

catch that bus.

No, we have to save him.

Odie!

Find a way to get down here.

We'll, uh... wait here!
[anxious bark]

[Garfield]

Hey, Odie,

what are you doing up there?
Ta-dah!
[eagle's shriek]

We've gotta get Odie out of here

and fast!

What are we going to do?
I have an idea!
So, what's the plan?
Let's rock that thing!
I don't like that plan at all.

In fact that's the worst idea

I've ever...

heard!
[Odie barks]
Odie! Get down here! Hurry!
Let's get out of here and fast!
[screams]
[they're breathless]
[eagle's shriek]
[sad moan]

Come on Odie.

Let's go and catch that bus

before it gets dark!
[Nermal] Hurry!
[coyote's howl]