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04x14 - Lasagna Tree

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Garfield Show". Aired: 2 November 2009 – 24 October 2016.*
Watch/Buy Amazon


Show features loose continuity and is set in a different universe to the previous Garfield cartoon series Garfield and Friends, which is occasionally referenced.

04x14 - Lasagna Tree

Post by bunniefuu »

-[Garfield snores]

-[alarm clock]

[theme song]

[Jon] Look at all the people

going in Mama Meany's pizzeria?


Vito, where are all

your customers?


Over at Mama Meany's,

where else?


No,
Signore
Meany!


Vito is not selling

his
ristorante
to you!


[Eddie Gourmand]

This is a tree that grows...

wait for it...
Lasagna!
Lasagna?
Oh, I love trees!

[TV host]
We now return you to Eddie

Gourmand's World of Food.


Hurry.

Go right to the part


about the tree

that grows lasagna.


I'm coming to you live


from a small city in Italy.

I'm not allowed


to tell you exactly

where in Italy I am

but it's wonderful here.
And the most wonderful thing is this.
This is it.
The Lasagna Tree.

A tree


that actually grows lasagna.

It's the only one


in the whole world.

How soon can we go there?

We have video of them

harvesting the crop.


Here you see

the lasagna harvest.


They have to pick them early

in the morning

when the buds are fully open.

We'll head straight

for the airport.


I don't need to pack.

I don't wear clothes.


Sometimes,

a harvester will decide


that a lasagna

is not quite ripe yet,


so he'll leave it on the tree

for a few more days.

The rats let us down, Louie.

That's the trouble with rats.

They're all rats.


They even act like rats.

Nope, you can't trust rats.

Now, squirrels on the--

-Shut up, Louie!

-I'm shutting up!

We have to shut this place down
or Mr. Mama Meaney will be so...
Hey!

No pizzeria could stay

in business long

without its delivery truck.

You think you know

how to sabotage it?

Sure thing, Gruber.
Good. Get to work.

And when you're done,

I'll order us a couple pizzas.


[Eddie Gourmand]
It's the best

lasagna I have ever tasted


anywhere! It's even better

than my previous favorite,


the lasagna back home

at Vito's Pizzeria.

Better than mine?
Better than mine?

No one's lasagna

is better than yours, Vito.


But answer the phone.

It could be a customer.

A customer?

It has been so long since

I had one, I almost forgot.


Vito's Pizzeria.

Vito at your service.


[high-pitched voice]

Hello?


How fast can you make

five pizzas?

How fast can I make five pizzas?

That fast.

Where do I deliver them?

Vito will be there faster

than you can say

"hold the anchovies!"


You want to keep Vito company

on a ride, little
pussygato
?


Why not? I love the smell

of warm mozzarella in the afternoon.


Come on! I want

to see the crash for myself!


[Angelica]

Lasagna growing on trees.


The most ridiculous thing

I ever heard of.


But you saw it.

They showed it on TV.


And no one on TV

ever lies about anything.


Unless they're selling something

or running for something...


Odie... You believe

in the Lasagna Tree, don't you?

But it was on TV.

If they said it on TV,

it must be true.


I must somehow get to Italy.

I must see for myself, this...

incredible Lasagna Tree.
Lasagna Tree...

That's the best thing

I ever heard in my life.

[scream]

Oh no!

My brakes do not work!

His brakes do not work.

That's the worst thing

I ever heard in my...

His brakes don't work!
[screaming]

So we wreck his truck

and then if does get any customers


he can't deliver so he goes out

of business and Mama Meaney--


-Shut up, Louie.

-I'm shutting up.

They're just ahead up there.

Pussygato
! What should I do?


Try to hit something

soft and cheap.


Oh, I hope we're not going to do

the bit they do in every crummy


car chase scene where the car

hits a fruit vendor's pushcart.

Oh no!

It is one of those crummy

car chase scenes


where the car hits

a fruit vendor's pushcart!

[honking]
Wow. I was afraid this was

one of those crummy

car chase scenes


where the car hits

a fruit vendor's pushcart!


I knew this was one of those

crummy car chase scenes


where the car hits

a fruit vendor's pushcart!

Fifty-one!

Garfield! Do something

that will help the situation.

I will!
Well, if we do crash,

you don't want all this pizza

to go to waste, do you?


I meant, do something to perhaps

stop us from crashing.


Oh, yeah.

That would be a good idea,

I suppose.
Well, this is an emergency...

So how about using this thing

called an emergency brake?


Oh, yes.

That is one way to do it.

Louie! Look out!
I can't see!

I got fruit c*ck

all over the windshield.


[Mama Meaney]

Good work.


I like that new artificial

cheese substitute you're using.


We're making the breadsticks

out of Styrofoam


and for the spaghetti,

I'm just boiling twine.

[tires screeching]

Like I said, I had fruit

c*ck all over my window


and there were bananas

flying everywhere--

Louie!
I'm shutting up.
[groan]

[Jon]

For the eighty third time, no!

We are not going to Italy.

But the Lasagna Tree...

I must find the Lasagna Tree.

Good night, Garfield.

You want to go find the Lasagna

Tree, don't you, Odie?

He doesn't believe it's real.
But you do, Squeak.
I'm a mouse!

We believe in anything

that involves cheese.


Eddie Gourmand's

doing live remotes

from that place I want to be.

I'm talking with the chief

lasagna farmer here,


Nunzio Cappelletti.


What's the hardest part

of lasagna farming, Nunzio?


I would say keeping

your ricotta cheese watered.


It needs to stay moist if you

want to have a Lasagna Tree.


At least Mama Meaney

didn't fire us.


He will if we don't close down

Vito's soon.

And now he wants us to find out

something about

some sort of "Lasagna Tree."

Let's see what they're up to...

But I must go and try

and find the Lasagna Tree.


But it can't be real.

And even if it is,


you have no idea

where it is in Italy.

Italy is a big country.

If there is better lasagna

than mine,


I must find it

and learn the secret.


[Eddie Gourmand]
Does the tree

grow them sun-dried, Nunzio?

Nunzio?

The tree somehow

creates tomato sauce


and then I guess

the sun dries it...

Angelica! That's Nunzio!

My worthless,

dishonest cousin Nunzio!


Now, I have a lead on where

to find the Lasagna Tree!


First thing in the morning,

you drive me to the airport.


I will go there and find

the Lasagna Tree!

I am sure of it!

And I'm sure

we'll be right behind.


I'll be back tomorrow and

the day after and the day after


with more about this

amazing plant. Bye for now!

Garfield,

if you did go find

the Lasagna Tree,


what's the first thing

you'd say?

The first thing I'd say?
I'm imagining being there...

Being in front

of the Lasagna Tree...


Surrounded by lasagna

growing everywhere...


[female singer]

♪Here it can be like paradise♪


♪And for more reasons

Than the view♪


♪To visit here at any price♪


♪Will make all of your dreams

Come true♪


♪Bella bella Italia♪


♪Bella bella♪


♪In the land of Italy

Women dress so prettily♪


♪There is much to fill your heart

Fine museums full of art♪


♪People greet you on the street

Genuinely pleased to meet♪


♪Buildings filled with mystery

Mankind's home♪


♪Ancient Rome

It is all history♪


♪So if you have time to spend♪


♪Come to the land

Where pasta grew♪


♪Your trip to Italy, my friend♪


♪Will make all of your dreams

Come true♪


♪Bella bella Italia♪


♪Bella bella♪


[Squeak] So...

you didn't answer my question.


If you did come across

a Lasagna Tree,


what's the first thing

you'd say?

The first thing I'd say?

The first thing I'd say

would be...

Timber!

But it looks like

that's not going to happen.

Good night, Squeak.
Good night, Garfield.

Farewell, my love.

I will call or write.


I will tell you every step

of how I find the Lasagna Tree.

[doorbell]
I'm coming, I'm coming!

Who could it be

at this hour of the morning?

Angelica?

Signore
Arbuckle... Jon...


I didn't know who else

to come to. I am worried Vito

may be in great danger.
I need... He needs your help.
Odie?
I may not get up today.

There's a Lasagna Tree

on this planet


and I'm never going

to get to go there,


never going to get to taste

the best lasagna in the whole world.


Guys... Pack whatever

you need to take.

We're going to Italy.
We are?
All packed.

Oh, wait. I may need

to do a little chopping.


[Jon] Vito, where are

all your customers?


[Vito] Over at Mama Meaney's.

Where else?


Look,
signore
Meaney,


Vito is not selling

his
ristorante
to you.

This is it. The Lasagna Tree!

I'm talking with the chief

lasagna farmer here,


Nunzio Cappelletti.


That's Nunzio! My worthless,

dishonest Cousin Nunzio!


[Vito] Now, I have a lead on

where to find the Lasagna Tree!

We're going to Italy.

[travelogue narrator]
Italy was one

of the birthplaces of civilization.


Some of the oldest relics

of life can be found


within its borders

as well as well-known


tourist attractions,


such as

the Leaning Tower of Pisa,


the Colosseum of Rome


and the Canals of Venice.

And the Lasagna Tree!

He should have mentioned

the Lasagna Tree,

the eighth wonder of the world.
Ninth if you count me.
[Odie barks]

[Angelica]

We've got to find Vito.


We will,

and before those two g*ons


who work for Mama Meaney

get to him.


Excuse me. Did I hear you

mention Mama Meaney?


The man with all the Italian

restaurants everywhere?

I just love those places of his.

Really?

What do you like about them?

Uh...
The commercials, mostly.
Well, let me tell you.

Mama Meaney is a bully and a tyrant

and a seller of rotten food.

You think so?

Well, may I tell you

what else he is?

Sure. What else is he?
He's the passenger in D.
[groan]
If you've got a parachute,

this would be

a good time to use it.

[Jon is scared]
Listen to me, Arbuckle.

I'm a man

who gets what he wants.

I want that Lasagna Tree.

You're not going to get

in my way.

[gasps]
"The Piazza San Marco

is the town square

of the city of Venice

and the major gathering spot."

Yep. This looks like

the major gathering spot.


This is where Vito's cousin

used to work?


Yes. This is where

Vito hoped to find him.

Let's try that way.

I wonder where

Garfield and Odie went.


What's the matter?

Don't you like your
spumoni
?

[Odie grumbles]
You want ice cream instead?

Spumoni
is ice cream.

It's Italian ice cream.

Ah.
It is time to pay me.

Oh...paying.

I forgot about that part.


Hey!

You have to pay me for that!

Stop that cat and dog!
You know, this stuff isn't bad.
[she screams]
I will get you!
[Odie barks]
[screams]

You cannot get away

from Guiseppe!

[he is breathless]
I can run no longer.

[Angelica] Nunzio was working

for a
spumoni
vendor

here on the plaza.

[Jon]

How do we find him?

Is that your cat and dog?

You owe me

for the
spumoni
they ate.


Spumoni
?


You sell
spumoni
?


Do you know a man

named Nunzio Cappelletti?


A good for nothing crook.

I fired him.

Do you know where to find him?

I heard Nunzio got a job

as a gondolier.


His cousin was here

a few hours ago

asking me that very question.

A gondolier. Do you know

what a gondolier is, Odie?

They're kind of like taxi drivers

only instead of car sick,

you get seasick.


[Garfield] All the streets

here in Venice are waterways.


And the man propelling the boat

is the gondolier.


There's only one bad thing

about gondoliers.

Sometimes, they sing.

♪My gondola was built in Rome

It glides along on the canal♪


♪And takes me each night

To the home♪


♪Where lives a very special gal♪


♪Maria is her lovely name

To me she is so very dear♪


♪Her father says

'Twould be a shame♪


♪For her to wed a gondolier♪

[barking]

♪He says that she deserves a king

A man who's of the highest grade♪


♪And not someone

Who lives to sing♪


♪To foreign tourist trade♪


♪O Maria♪


♪Don't you know what you've got?♪


♪Maria♪


♪I am the man you need♪


♪Oh please don't make me plead♪


♪Maria Maria♪


♪I cannot give you gold♪


♪Just someone warm to hold♪


♪Maria♪


♪I'm not a rich, successful guy

Not any great financier♪


♪But I will love you 'til I die

If you will have this gondolier♪


♪You will have this gondolier♪

[applause]

Now, we just have to find

the Head Gondolier.


[Angelica] The gondola is slowing.

He must be up there.

And look who's with him!

I can imagine why you fired him.

Lying, cheating...


You know your cousin well.

Here is the address

where I sent his last check.
This is out in the country.

It must be

where the Lasagna Tree is.


See? I told you!

He'll lead us right to it.


-I go now to...

-[Angelica] Vito!

Angelica!
He's getting into that gondola.

Then we'd better get

into a gondola.

What are you all doing here?
We came to warn you.

Mama Meaney's men

are following you.

They are? Where?
[Odie barks]
[grunts]
Those two guys again.

Get us away from here!

And get away from that gondola!


After them!

We can't lose them now.


We're not losing them.

They're gaining on us.

[scream]
[he is breathless]
[he is breathless too]
[scream]
Okay, let's try this one...
[slow tune]
Ah...this one will do it.
[dynamic tune]
Louie, don't! Stop!

Not in the boat!

Stop rocking the boat!

You'll capsize the boat!
[they scream]
[laughs]
[he grunts]
I couldn't help it, Gruber.

I sometimes think

I was just born to dance.


Nunzio's address

is ten kilometers this way.


My cousin Nunzio

is a cheater and a liar

and a good for nothing swindler.

Why do you even associate

with him?

Because he is family.

Our next stop

is the Lasagna Tree.


Our next stop

is the Lasagna Tree.

[Odie whispers]
Really? Are you sure?

Our next stop

is to walk the dog.


The stop after that

is the Lasagna Tree.

Our next stop...

Don't worry, Mama.

We're right on their tail.

Or over their tail or something.
You'd better be.

When you get the tree,

bring it to me here.

I'm at my processing plant near you.
Just follow them, Louie.

They'll lead us

right to the tree.


-Gruber, I think...

-Oh and by the way, shut up.


[Louie]

I'm shutting up.


[Vito] Let's go this way

and see if we can find Nunzio.

That bum. Then!
The Lasagna Tree.

I still can't believe there's

a tree that grows lasagna.

What does she know?
Ah, the lasagna is in bloom.
Did you spot the...

It's... it's the most beautiful

thing I ever saw.

A tree that actually grows
lasagna!
[Garfield grunts with pleasure]
No, it's mine, all mine!

Mine, mine, mine!

You can't have any of it.

[Odie whines]

[sigh]

All right.

[Odie barks]

Boy. And I thought

I loved my lasagna.

This is the Lasagna Tree, Vito.
I still don't believe it.

Let your eyes

tell you otherwise.


I have come a long way

to taste this crop.

It is magnificent.
Very much like the lasagna

my dear mother

taught me to make

but even better.
There's a reason for that, Vito.
Nunzio!
As I was saying,

there is a reason this lasagna

reminds you of your mother's.

Mama!
Oh!
Mama Meaney's here?
No!
My Mama!