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04x06 - The Mean Machine

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "The Garfield Show". Aired: 2 November 2009 – 24 October 2016.*
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Show features loose continuity and is set in a different universe to the previous Garfield cartoon series Garfield and Friends, which is occasionally referenced.

04x06 - The Mean Machine

Post by bunniefuu »

-[Garfield snores]

-[alarm clock]

[theme song]

[narrator]

Every moment of every day,


scientists labor to give us


newer and newer

technological breakthroughs.


They're working on new inventions


even as you watch the following

story on an electronic device


that will be out of date and obsolete


by the end of this cartoon.


New technology can

and does make our lives better.


But some people become

a bit too dependent on it.

Hey Luke, what's three plus eight?
Three plus eight?
I'll check.

I don't know.

My battery is dead!

What!
But now how are we ever going to find out
how much three plus eight is?
Eleven.
What?
Eleven.

Eleven.

Three plus eight is eleven.

How do you know that?
What did you look it up on?
I didn't look it up on anything.
I just know it.

Back before we had calculators

and smartphones

and tablet computers,
we just learned these things.
It's called knowledge.
Oh... knowledge.
Is that an app?

How do we order one of those

on the internet?


[narrator]

In most homes today,


people have become increasingly

dependent on technology.


Take this one, for instance.

So where do you want to meet for lunch?
Mexican food?
Let me see if I can find a place.

Mexican food on the North side

of town... Let's see.

Oh, here's one.
We could meet at Pancho's Bean-on-a-Rope.

I'm using this magnet to borrow

Jon's digital voice recorder.

He won't miss it.

He never uses it since he got

his new smartphone anyway

One o'clock tomorrow? Perfect.
I'll see you there. Bye.

Zoey?

Put lunch with Jeff on my calendar,

add him into contacts,
friend him on all social networks
and make a reservation

at Pancho's Bean-on-a-rope

tomorrow for one o'clock.


I will make that reservation for you, Jon.

Oh, and Zoey?
From now on, call me Handsome.

Very well. You're Handsome.

[laughter]

Reminder.

It's time to feed the cat.

Oh, thank you, Zoey.

You're welcome, Handsome.

Jon doesn't grasp a basic concept of life.
It's always time to feed the cat.

[Jon]

Garfield! Dinner's ready!

See?
I'm going to go mow the lawn.
Play back.

Reminder.


It's time to feed the cat.


Oh, thank you, Zoey.

I almost forgot to feed the cat.

Here you go, Garfield.

Reminder.


It's time to feed the cat.

Thanks, Zoey.
Zoey?

Yes, Handsome?


From now on,

I want you to call me Adorable.


Very well. You're Adorable.


Reminder.


It's time to feed the cat.

Again!
Okay. Thanks, Zoey.

It feels like I've already fed

the cat today.

But Zoey knows.

Reminder.


It's time to feed the cat.


Reminder.


It's time to feed the cat.


Reminder.


It's time to feed the cat.


Reminder.


It's time to feed the cat.

I almost forgot to feed the cat.

[narrator]
It was a perfect example of

what happens


when you allow technology

to rule your life.


It was hours before the cat's owner began


to wonder if something was wrong...


Reminder.


It's time to feed the cat.

Again!
Zoey?
How many times today have I fed the cat?

You've fed the cat

eighty-seven times, Adorable.

Eighty-seven times!

Yeah. I hardly had time

for my between-meal snacks.

You're in big trouble now!

I hope this doesn't mean

I don't get dinner.

You're going to--
Zoey? Zoey?
Call me an ambulance.

Very well.


You're an ambulance.


[narrator]

As bad as it was on Earth,


the surrender to technology


was nowhere near as bad

as on some other worlds.


The planet Sprocket, for example.


Once, it was not unlike Earth

in its technology...


just a few years ahead...


Like Earth people,


they enjoyed all

the new conveniences of life


brought by advanced technology.

Make an appointment with my doctor,

send flowers to my wife,

turn on the sprinklers

and take out the garbage.

I shall do as you command, sir.

And from now on, call me Cuddlebunny.

From now on, I shall call you Cuddlebunny.


[narrator]
They kept making their

smartphones smarter and smarter,


until finally,


they were smart enough to know

how smart they were.


-Voot?

-What is it, Krelm?


[Krelm]

We're smarter than they are.


How come we're taking orders from them?


[Voot]
I've been wondering

the same thing.


[narrator]

Soon, reality had reversed.


The people of Sprocket


were being ordered

about by their smartphones.


And soon, they were used

to doing as they were told.


[smartphone]
Turn left

at the next intersection.

I will turn left at the next intersection.

Drive to the robot factory,


surrender to your new robot overlords


and spend the rest of your life

building more robot overlords,


Cuddlebunny.

I will drive to the robot factory,
surrender to my new robot overlords

and spend the rest of my life

building more robot overlords.


Hello. I'm here to surrender to

my new robot overlords


and spend the rest of my life

building more robot overlords.

Go right on in.

[narrator]
Soon, almost every living being

on Sprocket


was working night and day

in a building known as...


the factory.


♪Rivets, nuts, bolts and screws♪


♪Tighten them

We tell the crews♪


♪Careful there be no mistake♪


♪In the robots that we make♪


♪Robots are here♪


♪Robots are there♪


♪Left right

Left right♪


♪Now everywhere♪


♪Robots are here♪


♪Robots are there♪


♪It's their world now

Humans beware♪


♪Diodes, gears, cells and ram♪


♪Help to make me what I am♪


♪Nothing is allowed to break♪


♪In the robots that we make♪


♪Every part we have to test♪


♪Only use the very best♪


♪It's a rule we don't forsake♪


♪In the robots that we make♪


♪Robots are here♪


♪Robots are there♪


♪Left right

Left right♪


♪Now everywhere♪


♪Robots are here♪


♪Robots are there♪


♪It's their world now,

Humans beware♪


♪It's their world now,

Humans beware♪


[narrator]
There, they built more and more

robot soldiers


to serve their new rulers


And some of them even built

the mechanical being


who would assume command

of the technological army.


The being known as...

[Metalla] Master Control?
Headcount says that

production of soldiers

has reached level ten

I know.
Tell her what it means,Techno.
It means we have enough to initiate
the conquest of another world.

[Metalla]

You have chosen one, I see.


Is that Regulus-

in the Beta-Blue galaxy?

No.
It is Earth.
Metalla,
do you know why
I selected Earth as our first conquest?

Because it is like Sprocket

was before we rose to power.

Earth people are already forgetting

that they should be in command

of their technology

instead of the other way around.
All Earth people?
[Master Control] All people.

But there is one being

who could be trouble.

Techno, show her the one.
This being.

You know what this is, Odie?

[muttering]

Oh, it's more than just

Jon's digital voice recorder.


It's a machine that gets me

unlimited food!

Watch!
Zoey, what time does that movie start?

The theater has shows at...


: and :.

Thanks, Zoey.
Oh, hi, Garfield

Reminder.


It's time to feed the cat.

Feed the cat. That's right.
It's time to feed the cat.

Here, sorry.

I almost forgot to feed you.


[Metalla]

That creature is clever.

Too clever!

He takes orders from no one.

He listens to no one.

I know how to take care of him.
But first,
watching him has given me an idea.

That woman who answers all

the questions for Earthlings.


[Techno]

He called her "Zoey."

Indeed.
She is too smart.
Not as smart as us,
but still too smart.

[Metalla]

You intend to eliminate her?


[Master Control]

I intend to replace her.

With you!
Activate invasion force.
Transmit code Alpha-one-niner.
Destination: Earth!

[narrator]

Within moments,


Master Control's attack squadron

is in full invasion mode


and taking off for the planet Earth?

Zoey? How hot is it today?

The temperature is degrees Fahrenheit.

She's so smart.

And you're an ambulance.

I wonder what she's like.
And where she is.

[narrator]
She was more

than a thousand miles away


in this building in the Northwest Valley.


But not for long.


Somewhere in this building is

the one known as Zoey.

We will find her.
Do you have a plan to handle the cat?

[Master Control]

I have a plan for everything.

I have had his life studied.

Remote scanning has imaged

every one of his friends.

This unit is applying those scans now.
[Techno] Impressive.
That cat will not know who is on his side.
Because no one will be on his side.

Everyone in his life

will be a robot duplicate

controlled by me!

[narrator]
Can he do it?


Can this animatronic abomination


convert the universe into robots

under his command?


[narrator]
As you may remember

in our last chapter


robot soldiers were invading earth.


Robot duplicates of Garfield's friends


were being manufactured

on the planet Sprocket.


And where was Garfield?


Where else? Eating Lasagna!

Hey, fish gotta swim,
birds gotta fly and
I gotta do this!

Reminder :

It's time to feed the cat.


Feed the cat?
Grazie
Zoey!

I don't know what I would do without you!

Here you go, little
pussygatto!

Sorry I did not feed you bef...

Uno minuto
!

I did feed you!


Look at all the food here!

And the dirty dishes!

I think you have had
twelve helpings of lasagna--

Reminder :

It's time to feed the cat


Feed the cat? Zoey,

thank you for reminding me!


I must feed the
gatto
!


This is the most important

scientific breakthrough


since the invention

of the microwave cheese sticks!

[Odie mutters]

Reminder :

It's time to feed the cat.


Here you are!

I have fed the cat...


Reminder :

It's time to feed the cat.

It's time to feed the cat!
Zoey always knows.

I will be right back

to feed you,
pussygatto
...


[Vito sings a song about pasta

in Italian]

Yippee!

Reminder :

It's time to feed the cat.


[narrator]

Zoey was very smart.


She worked night and day

answering questions


for the entire world.


And the world had a lot of questions.


[woman calling on telephone]

Zoey,


what's the capital of Peru?

The capital of Peru is Lima.

Zoey, what should I put

in my tuna noodle casserole?


Tuna, egg noodles,

cream of mushroom soup

and bread crumbs on the top.

[in French]

Zoey, pourriez-vous me dire


comment se rendre

à la gare ferroviaire?


Allez tout droit

jusqu'au prochain carrefour


et tournez à gauche

au feu de signalisation.

Zoey, where did I leave my wallet?
It fell down behind the dresser.
You have half a candy bar there, too.

[robot guard] We have searched

the entire building

except for this corridor.

[Metalla] Then she must be

down there somewhere.


Zoey,

where are my cat and dog?

Er... Zoey?
Zoey, what was that expl*si*n?

It was invading warriors

from the planet Sprocket.


They want to capture me

and replace me with--

[muffle]
Zoey?

[Metalla] I'm back.

What was your question again?


-Zoey?

-Yes, I am Zoey.

Of course I am Zoey.
Where would I find my cat and dog?

Go to the northwest valley.

I will direct you there.


[narrator]
Within moments,

Jon Arbuckle was on his way


to the Northwest Valley...


[Metalla]

Head six miles due north


and turn left at McGalliard Road.


[narrator]

And so were hundreds of others!


soon to be thousands

of others including...


the owner of this pizzeria.


Zoey! I ask you for

the latest baseball scores.


And I told you to go to

the Northwest Valley. Right now!

I do not understand but...
Zoey has never steered me wrong before.

[narrator]
And in a pattern

occurring all over town,


once the human was heading for

the Northwest Valley


his or her robot duplicate


was put into play...

Hey Vito,
More garlic bread!

[robot voice] You wish more

garlic bread, cat animal?

It is not healthy for you to eat
so much rich food with oils and cheese.
I must make a pizza.
I must make a pizza.

I must make a pizza.


[Techno] Master Control!

I am monitoring that cat.


I want to see if he is fooled

by the robot substitute.


[Master Control]

You idiot!

I don't care about fooling that cat.
He is a threat to our plan
I want him eliminated now!

[Techno] I will order the robot

to eliminate the cat.

Right away!
Good! Make that many pizzas.
[Odie mutters]

I don't know.

Whatever he's gonna do,

I'm sure it's all right

I shall destroy the
gatto
.

Well, I'm not sure that's all right.
"Destroy the cat"?
Forget about those pizzas.

I didn't really want any.

Odie was demanding it.

[Odie mutters]
[Odie mutters again]
I don't know why he's acting like this.
Maybe Jon didn't pay this month's bill.

It's not easy to pay

a five thousand dollar

lasagna bill every month.
[bloody-curdling shout]

Okay! From now on,

we're going to Luigi's.


[narrator]
Through the city

streets they chased.


No matter which way they ran


the figure of Vito


was not far behind..
.

I can't run anymore, Odie.
Let's take the bus.

[Garfield] Pardon us.

Cat and dog coming through.


Oops, sorry, I stepped on that.

Excuse us

No, we don't have to worry about
him getting off at the next stop.
That's the express.
The next stop is in the next state.

[narrator]
The cat and dog

thought they were safe.


They were wrong.


Their every move was being

uploaded to Master Control...


[Master Control]

The cat got away!

The cat got away!

[Techno] We have other robots

moving into place


[Master Control]

Ping them all!

There is nothing more important
than the elimination of that cat.
[Techno] Right away!
So what's with Vito?
If he keeps trying to do away with me
I might switch to Chinese food.
[Odie mutters]
No, I'm not nervous.
I'm really not afraid of anything.
Oh, Garfield!
Yeikes!
You seem nervous.
Would you like me,

Eddie Gourmand, the food critic,

to walk you home?

Yes!
What's the shortest route to take
to get to Arbuckle's house?
[Metalla] Do not go there.

Follow my directions to drive

to the Northwest Valley.


If you say so, Zoey.

I'm on my way!

I'll be right back!
Oh!

Sir, you are standing

where I wish to walk.

Oh!

And may I say

what a bad-looking man you are.

You could stand to lose a few pounds...
like, say, most of them...
And that wardrobe. Hideous!
Let's see. My car is out back...
I feel safe with Eddie.

There's plenty of room for us

to hide behind him.

He'll protect me.

[Eddie Gourmand robot]

Garfield. Must destroy Garfield.

See? I told you he'd pro --
Must destroy Garfield...now!
Well, at least he'll be easy to outrun!

[Master Control]

He's too slow!

Switch that robot to bounce mode!

[Techno]

Bounce mode. Right away!


[narrator]

But whichever way they ran


he was right behind them,


the bouncing recurring character


Odie! Remind me never to get

so fat I can do that.

[Odie mutters]
Let's separate.

He can't chase both of us

at the same time.

Actually, he's so large, maybe he can.
Go!

Weird thing about Eddie.

His checks are good

but he bounces!
I've got to get away from this guy!
Oh Garfield! What's wrong?
You seem tense...in despair.

Dr. Whipple.

Another recurring character.

Hopefully one that doesn't bounce.

Well, since I am a psychiatrist,

perhaps I can help.


True, you're a cat

so I can't understand you.


But I don't understand

most of my patients.

My office is right in here.
Just so long...
as it's got a couch...

[narrator]
Moments later,


the cat was being examined

by Dr. Whipple.


Or so he thought...


[Dr. Whipples robot]

Do you have the feeling


that everyone around you is out

to get you?


-Yes.

-And do you have any idea

why you feel this way?

Yes. Because everyone around me

is out to get me.


That's ridiculous!

I know it's possible

to feel that way at times.
But it's all in someone's imagination.
I take it back.
Everyone around me is not out to get me.
Almost everyone I know is here!

Jon! Liz! Vito! Doc Boy!

Minerva and Drusilla!

Or is it Drusilla and Minerva?

Mrs. Cauldron! Jim Davis!

Aunt Ivy! Al !

Jim Davis?

Boy! With all the money

I've made this guy,

he wouldn't turn against me.

[together]

Garfield must be destroyed!

Garfield must be destroyed!
Garfield must be destroyed!

[narrator]

Is this the end for Garfield?


Will he actually meet his maker?