02x17 - Fido Food Feline/Mind Over Mouse

[bunniefuu]

[snoring] [clock ringing]

[upbeat music]

[peaceful music]

[old lady] Here, kitty, kitty, kitty!

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty!

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty!

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty!

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty!

It's your turn tonight.

No, I did it last night.

It's your turn tonight.

Look, you do it tonight,

and I'll do it all next week.

[Garfield] Do what? What's the argument about?

It's about which one of us is going to have to do the "cute kitty" routine.

I might as well get it over with.

[laughing]

You guys still doing that?

We have to or we don't eat.

It's so demeaning.

[military music]

Kitty cat, I have some nice cat food for you.

[mewing]

Oh, kitty cat. You are so adorable.

[purring]

Give me the food, lady.

[purring]

It's...

It's just undignified.

[groaning]

[laughing]

Here you go.

A nice, delicious helping

of Yummy Beef Delight in gravy.

Mmmm, yum!

[purring]

Now, you share that with all your little kitty friends.

Hey, little kitty friends!

Supper!

Be careful, guys.

Some of that's actually getting in your mouths.

"Yummy Beef Delight in gravy."

You know what that means?

These are the parts of the cow

that no one but a starving cat would ever eat.

You don't ever eat cat food, Garfield?

Not if I can help it.

And usually, I can help it.

Hey, I stopped eating cat food years ago because...

Well, it was a horrifying experience.

You want to hear about it?

Uh, no. Not really.

Not at all.

Great. I used to eat the stuff just like all of you.

[Jon] I'm coming, Liz!

Just as soon as I finish serving Garfield.

Not bad.

[Garfield narrating] I was enjoying my meal a lot.

Little did I suspect...

Jon, did you notice what you gave him?

This is a can of Odie's dog food.

Oh, that's kind of funny.

Hey, Garfield. You'll never guess what I did.

I accidentally served you Odie's dog food.

Sorry!

How about that?

Mmm, this is pretty good,

and it turns out to be dog food.

Well, I guess you never...

-[dramatic music] -Dog food!

[spitting]

Dog food! I ate dog food!

[gasping] Dog food...

[coughing painfully]

Oh, Jon! How could you do this to me?

[coughing]

But tasty!

Feeding Garfield dog food won't hurt him, right?

Of course not.

But you ought to pay more attention to his diet.

What you eat has a lot to do with who you are.

Putting the wrong food into a body can change it forever.

After all, you are what you eat.

I am what I eat?

But... I just ate dog food.

What?

You are what you eat. You are what you eat.

You are what you eat.

If that's true, how come I'm not lasagna?

Never mind that now.

I ate dog food.

What if it's true and it changes me into...

into...

one of these?

[screaming]

[muttering]

Odie, I ate dog food!

Do you understand what I'm telling you?

I ate dog food!

I don't want to turn into a dog.

[interrogative muttering]

[Garfield narrating] I told myself it couldn't possibly happen.

But then, I began to notice little strange things.

[snoring]

[dog sound]

[gasping]

Who barked?

Oh, I hope it wasn't me.

[moaning]

[Garfield narrating] Then it got worse.

Oh, no!

Doggy tongue!

[Garfield narrating] I found myself staying up all night,

howling pointlessly and foolishly at the moon.

[howling]

Odie!

Stop howling pointlessly and foolishly at the moon!

[muttering]

[Garfield narrating] And that's when I realized it was true.

Garfield the Cat was now...

Garfield the Dog!

Well, it was time to accept my new life.

[barking]

Hey, that's not bad.

Didn't think I could learn a foreign language, did you?

Okay.

Might as well go join my fellow dogs.

Here is a band of tough pooches

that used to always hang around one corner.

Hey, keep an eye out.

Those dog catchers,

they've been working this area lately.

[Garfield] Hi, guys!

What do you want to do today?

Chase cars? Look for fire hydrants?

What do you want, cat?

Cat? Where?

Oh, you mean me? No, I'm not a cat, I'm a dog.

Listen. [Garfield barking]

See? Not a cat.

Hey, maybe we could go chase cats!

I know where one named Nermal lives!

[Garfield barking]

Hey, this guy's crazy.

Yeah, let's go away from him.

Hey, wait guys!

Let's do doggy things, like fetch sticks

and roll over and play dead!

[barking]

[lazy barking]

[panicked barking]

Oh no! Dogcatchers!

And me without a dog license!

[dramatic music]

[barking]

[Garfield narrating] We fled,

but the dogcatchers were too fast for us.

[dramatic music]

After them, Pete!

[Pete] They won't get away from us!

[dramatic music]

[screeching] [gasping]

[desperate moaning]

[Garfield narrating] In no time, we were behind bars.

One Rottweiler.

One Rottweiler.

One Chihuahua with a bad attitude.

[Al] One Chihuahua with a bad attitude.

[growling]

[Pete] One mutt.

[Al] One mutt.

[Pete] And here's the last one.

One overweight pussycat.

One overweight pussycat.

One overweight pussycat?

Hey, Pete, we caught a cat.

No, no, no, I'm a dog.

D-O-G. Dog.

Oh. What do we do?

We're not supposed to catch cats.

You sure this is a cat?

No, I'm a dog! Look!

[barking]

[panting]

[begging]

[stage music]

Oh, at last, they realize I'm a dog.

Hey.

Because I'm a dog, I'm behind bars.

Maybe I didn't think this through properly.

Time to feed our new guests.

The city couldn't get any more dog food,

so they ordered cat food again.

I guess I must be a dog.

I'm stupider than I used to be.

Suppertime, guys.

We're feeding you cat food, but don't worry.

It's the same thing.

Cat food is the same as dog food?

Sure, we often get cat food.

Yeah, quite frankly I prefer it.

What did you think?

Eating cat food turns a dog into a cat?

[Garfield and dogs laughing]

Then I'm not a dog, I'm a cat!

Yes! A cat!

[meowing]

Thank goodness. A cat !

I don't want to be

a stupid mangy old dog. -[growling]

[Garfield] Dogs are disgusting.

Dogs are repulsive.

Dogs are my roommates.

Ha ha...

[mad growling]

[Garfield] No! Stop!

Don't hurt me! I'm a recovering dog!

-Stop! -[angry growling]

[Garfield narrating] It's truly amazing I ever got out of there.

And since that day, I've avoided dog food or cat food.

It's strictly people food for me.

Well, I can see my story had them riveted at attention.

Oh, looks like your kitty friends left.

Would you like some cat food?

Thanks but no thanks, lady.

I had an idea I have to go home and try.

[Jon] Mmm, this is delicious.

I've learned something, Odie.

It doesn't matter if a dog eats cat food or cat eats dog food.

[Odie muttering]

But if you sneak cat food onto a human's plate,

you can have a lot of fun.

[mewing]

I think I'm going to...

[mewing]

...go get seconds.

[purring]

[meowing]

[laughing]

[upbeat music]

[snoring] [clock ringing]

[upbeat music]

[cheerful music]

[ice cream truck music]

[chuckles]

Here it comes.

Boy, what I won't do for ice cream...

[yelling like Tarzan]

[coughing]

[sigh]

Here goes!

[Squeak laughs] Don't waste your time, Garf!

Squeak! How'd you know I was up here?

I know all, I see all.

I see that the ice cream truck will hit a pothole in the street,

and a case of Chocolate Num-Num Bars with almonds will pop out.

[ice cream truck music]

"Chocolate Num-Num Bars with almonds."

Told you.

I have developed the power to see into the future.

By the way, the garbage truck is about to come by,

and when it hits the same pothole,

you'll be covered with thirty pounds of rotten mackerel.

[intriguing music]

[dramatic music]

You know, I always like a little smelly fish

with my Chocolate Num-Num bars.

[cheerful music]

Okay.

Now that I'm de-fished,

I need to find out how Squeak did that.

[Squeak] You want to know how I know what's going to happen before it happens?

Jon's doing chores.

He's about to hit his thumb with a hammer.

-How could you possibly know? -[Jon hammers then screams]

[Jon] Ouch! That hurts!

[Jon yells]

I'll hide.

He's going to say:

"Oh, I smashed my poor little thumb with that big hammer!"

[Jon] Oh, I smashed my poor little thumb with that big hammer!

And now he's going to trip over Odie.

[Jon] Odie! Oh, look out!

And you're gonna wander off wondering how I do this.

[laughing]

Right again.

You're wondering, too.

Well, I'll let you in on the secret.

I've been doing something you've been doing.

That's right. In fact, you're doing it right this second.

Come on.

-[starts TV] -I've been watching The Garfield Show!

[upbeat music]

Jon got a new satellite dish with all these new channels!

And on one of them, guess what I found...

Here it comes!

Boy, what I won't do for ice cream!

[yelling like Tarzan]

[coughing]

-[laughing] Yes! -[Garfield] Here it goes!

So you see, the reason I know what's going to happen before it happens

is that I've seen this cartoon already.

Yeah, really!

Jon and Garfield, they don't know about this terrific channel.

And they don't know I've been recording episodes

and storing them on the video recorder here.

This episode?

It's a rerun and I recorded it three weeks ago.

Here, I'll jump ahead.

I'll jump ahead.

Haha!

Haha!

[grimacing]

[laughing] Let's see what happens in the next scene.

-[fast forward] -[Garfield] Squeak,

I don't know how you predict the future but...

I know, I know.

You want me to feed you my predictions

and you'll become famous

as "The Cat Who Can Predict the Future."

[echo] Future... Future...

Deal.

[chuckles]

That's coming up.

I'd better get in there so I can be in that scene.

-[Odie mutters] -Okay, here's my idea, Odie.

I'll give out Squeak's predictions and I'll become famous as...

-"The Cat Who Can Predict the Future!" -[echo] Future... Future...

[cuckoo]

[Odie mutters]

[tick tock]

[Garfield] Squeak!

I don't know how you predict the future but...

I know, I know.

You want me to feed you my predictions

and you'll become famous

as "The Cat Who Can Predict the Future."

[echo] Future... Future...

Deal.

[chuckles]

Come on, Odie.

Let's get to work!

[Odie mutters]

Now comes the part where I give Garfield predictions

and he passes them on to Jon...

Garfield!

I don't know how you knew that meteor was going to crash down,

but you shoved me aside just in time!

[chuckles]

And you guessed who'd win the soccer match

and you even knew the final score!

[dramatic music]

Is it possible you've become...

-"The Cat Who Can Predict the Future?" -[echo] Future... Future...

How did I know you were going to say that?

The scientific community has been rocked by reports of a cat

that can predict the future.

In the last seven days, Garfield Cat has predicted

the outcome of the American World Series,

the outcome of the Indianapolis motor race

and the outcome of the legendary Kentucky Derby.

He also amazingly predicted that those three events,

usually held months apart,

would all, for some reason,

take place in the same week.

But perhaps the cat's most impressive forecast

came today... -You're famous, Garfield.

I don't know how you do it.

Tonight, Garfield's powers will be tested

on a special telecast of the TV series

Somebody's Got Talent.

If he can indeed predict the future,

he will win one million dollars. -[gasp]

[dramatic music]

[eerie music]

[laughs happily]

[Odie mutters happily]

[Jon] That's right!

-We'll win one million dollars. -[till sound]

I'll win one million dollars.

I'm going to get ready to go to the station.

Come on, Odie.

[happy barking]

Ready to go, Squeak?

I'll meet you down there.

There something I've gotta do first...

Suit yourself.

Just make sure you're there in time

so I'll pass their test.

Jon probably thinks I'll spend the whole million on lasagna,

[laughs] ...but that's silly.

I'll spend half on ravioli.

[worried sigh] I realized something.

I realized I'd never watched the end of this episode!

Here we go, guys.

When we return home, we'll have a million bucks.

I'll have a million bucks.

I need to know what happens in the end so I'll know what to tell Garfield.

[horrified] What? Episode deleted!

That can't be.

I must have accidentally hit the delete button.

It's gone!

What am I gonna do if I can't watch the end of the episode?

[mumbles]

I know!

This episode is on right now!

It is! You're watching it, right?

Well then, I can watch it.

I just need to turn to the channel.

[jingles]

The Garfield Show will not be seen

so we can bring you tonight's edition

of Somebody's Got Talent!

Oh, no! We've been pre-empted!

The show's not on!

Quick! Call the station and complain!

[hurried music]

Oh, no... Garfield is gonna be so mad!

And right now, that's the only thing I can predict!

[upbeat music]

[anchor] And now, the host of Somebody's Got Talent,

Dr. Whipple!

Good evening.

As usual, I'm joined tonight

by the lovely actress, Kate Turkeybaster.

-[buzzer] -I vote no!

[Dr. Whipple] Not yet.

Wait until there's an act on stage.

And also with us,

is the famous food critic, Eddie Gourmand.

Hello, world!

That's right, I'm talking to each and every one of you.

-[applause] -Ready to go on, Garfield?

No. Where's my mouse?

Tonight, our first contestant is a local cat

who claims to be able to predict the future.

-[buzzer] -I vote yes!

Not yet.

We've arranged a special test which, of course, he will fail,

because it's impossible to predict the future.

-[buzzer] -I knew you'd say that.

I vote no.

-Stay out of this! -I have the right to say what I want!

When do we vote?

[overlapped chatter]

-I can talk about food if I want! -Can I get a word in here, please?

[Squeak] Gotta get there...

[hurried music]

Garfield will be asked to predict which of the playing cards

I will draw from the deck.

If he's right, he will win one million dollars!

[audience gasps]

[chuckles]

And just to make things interesting, if Garfield is wrong,

his owner, Mr. Arbuckle, will be dropped into this vat

containing ten tons of rancid cottage cheese.

[audience] Ah...

I voted for soft frozen yogurt.

Oh, I love soft frozen yogurt!

All right, Garfield.

For one million dollars, what card did I pick?

[cuckoo sound]

[xylophone sound]

[suspenseful music]

Squeak, where are you?

You have fifteen seconds, Garfield.

Squeak, how could you abandon me like this?

I'm going to have to take a wild guess...

I'll pick the three of clubs.

[worried moan]

[happy bark]

[Squeak] Uh-oh...

I'm just gonna have to guess...

Jack of diamonds!

Time's up, Garfield!

What card am I holding?

[key beep]

-[beep] -[Dr. Whipple] The Jack of diamonds?

No, I'm sorry.

-It was the three of clubs. -[audience] Aw...

-[buzzer] -[Jon screams]

[Squeak moans sadly]

[audience cheering]

[Jon] Garfield!

[angry groan]

[Jon groans]

[Odie mutters sadly]

[sad sigh]

[sad music]

Is Jon mad at you?

No, not really.

He did say though that the only thing he's going to feed me

is rancid cottage cheese.

Hey, Squeak,

how did you make those accurate predictions?

I've been watching The Garfield Show.

What?

This show.

It's on this great channel I found on the TV.

Look!

[gasp]

Is Jon mad at you?

You've just been watching this episode?

-[laughing] -[mad] Squeak!

When I get my hands on you... Meow!

Don't hurt me, Garfield!

I'm sorry!

[dramatic music]

[upbeat music]