02x11 - With Four You Get Pizza/Guest from Beyond

[bunniefuu]

[Music]

[Applause]

no

you cannot go with us garfield i promise

liz a night out with just the two of us

besides

[Music]

you're not allowed in vetoes anymore not

after what you did last time there

[Music]

no we're not giving up wait here

wow suction cups i've been saving them

for an emergency

and right now not getting to go to

vetoes is an emergency

here put one on each paw and do as i do

[Music]

so how did he get himself banned from

vetoes

i think it was the trick with the bungee

cord let us see

a tablet order to plate the pasta with a

meat sauce

[Music]

a chicken of parmesan with a side of

penne

[Music]

a plate of spaghetti marinara hey

where did all the other dishes go

[Music]

uh could i get an order to go you

pasta pilfering a pussycat you fed a

chinese

[Music]

she is a perfect truly throw myself into

everything i could

and after they hauled vito out of the

marinara sauce and gave him artificial

respiration

he banned garfield from his restaurant

in fact he banned all animals i can't

even take odie in

so i guess we won't be seeing garfield

or odie at vetoes for a while

they wouldn't dare to try and get in

there

[Music]

here you are mr arbuckle beetles lasagna

just for the two of you

mmm it smells delicious these cause it

is delicious

oh veto's lasagna

so close and yet so far

the lasagna just sits there looking

delicious

mocking me allowing itself to be

consumed by

there others be a way to get us in there

where that lasagna is

this is called thinking odor you ought

to try it sometimes

[Music]

don't complain you're just jealous

because i have the legs for this

it is always a pleasure to welcome you

into my humble restaurant mr albacle

providing you come without a cat

i told garfield he had to stay home and

he obeys me

because i'm firm and

[Music]

you brought your little bambinas in the

howard charming

deer garfield girlfriend

i'm going to take you home and lock you

in the basement until you're

ah what a nice surprise running into you

here mr parker

yes uh liz this is mr barker i do

cartoons for a magazine he publishes

nice to meet you mr barker ah you know

arbuckle

i was thinking you weren't the right

kind of person to fit in with my

magazine

you're firing me i was considering it

but seeing you here with your lovely

family

for the family no

i misjudged you families are the bedrock

of society i like employing a man with a

lovely family

how long have you two been married

married oh

no we're not liz and i have been married

for

how long is it dear ten years

uh five years ten years hey

i forget how long i've been married too

the point is you have these two

lovely daughters

vito more lasagna are coming right up mr

arbuckle

i never knew mr arbuckle had kids i

didn't want to say anything

but the one on the right she has the

face of a puppy dog

more videos lasagna on the way

hiya normal what you been up to oh

same thing as always just being adorable

vito sure smells great oh sure does

wish i could get me some of that

delicious food

this way oh the viewers of my show

absolutely gonna love this

john tell him the truth tell him we

aren't married and these aren't our

daughters

but he's my boss and he thinks it's nice

that i have a wife and kids

this is everyone's favorite food critic

eddie gorman

[Laughter]

coming to you live from vito's pizzeria

vetoes is a fabulous place to revel in

ravioli

and munch and manicotti

excuse me mr gorman more pasta for table

two

oh let's see who's having this feast at

table two

ah i like a man who cares enough about

his children to

feed them well they sure have healthy

appetites

hey isn't that garfield

yeah that's garfield i know that sound

anywhere they're having a feast in there

how do we get ourselves some of that we

need dresses

and wicks where are we gonna

i'll do anything for italian food

i can't believe it i'm even cuter this

way

this is john arbuckle he's a cartoonist

who works for my magazine

hello mr arbuckle and this

is his wife liz and their two beautiful

daughters

hey let us have some of that um

let us have some of that excuse me

there are four beautiful daughters

john our vehicle you and your wife lynn

have such

lovely children my brother is married

with four kids

oh dad it says on tv that john not only

married liz

but that they have four daughters

why didn't our daughter tell us she

married that cartoonist

john how often do you come here to

vetoes with miss arbuckle

and the little arbuckle children oh well

i

um well that is

gone on long enough either you tell them

the truth or i will

uh i have something to tell you uh

about my wife and daughters

[Applause]

hey you notice when john lies he turns

the same color as vito's red sauce

[Music]

i want another meatball i want sex

meatballs

and more garlic bread

i cannot believe it mr arbuckles are

daughters they eat more than that cat of

ease

what is it you're trying to tell me mr

arbuckle

uh well you know i i work for mr barker

here and

oh indeed he does i'm so impressed with

his great family here

i'm giving our bugle a big promotion and

a raise

oh oops drop my napkin

i don't look good with marinara sauce

all over my dress

mama

[Music]

and you trick or treat could i have

another pepperoni pizza please

all of you all of you all of you out of

my restaurant

and you can make that to go

ah your daughters are cats and dogs i

can explain mr barker well no i can't

but the truth john

women and children first especially cats

dress like women children

when i get my hands on you cat

[Music]

look out

this is terrible they simply ruined the

end of my

show

all of you out and never darken my

pizzeria again

mr barker liz isn't my wife and these

obviously were not my daughters and

i'm sorry i let you believe that

this is the funniest thing i ever saw

draw it up as a cartoon and send it in

i'll give you a bonus

there you see john you kept your job

things didn't turn out so bad

ooh we didn't get dessert

i guess everything did work out okay we

didn't get dessert

almost forgot here is the bill for what

your

daughters ate pay me and then never come

in again

everything worked out almost okay we

still

didn't get dessert

vito will get over it in a day or so he

always does

you're right but right now i just want

to relax and not have anyone else upset

with me

surprise congratulations on your wedding

congratulations on your marriage i know

you'll be real happy

why didn't you tell us i can explain

listen i can explain

no no not the couple on top that's

plastic

[Music]

you

[snoring] [clock ringing]

[upbeat music]

[chewing]

[Jon] I'm hurrying, I'm hurrying!

I'm cooking as fast as I can!

No matter how much I feed him, he's still hungry!

Meat loaf! I need to make another meat loaf!

[man] Six!

Six meat loaves!

[man] And French fries! Shoestrings, not thick cut!

Admit it, you thought that was me inside being fed.

[sighing] Wish it was.

My position in life has been usurped.

That's a fancy word meaning "stolen."

And you know who stole it? This guy.

Eddie Gourmand, the famous restaurant critic.

You remember him, he was on six episodes last season.

You see, he lost his TV show and...

Well, I'll start at the top.

It started with one of my favorite TV shows.

[Eddie on TV] At Boticelli's Italian Bistro,

they have a whole new way of making lasagna.

[Garfield narrating] Lasagna didn't need improvement.

It was perfect the way it was.

They also have a lovely rigatoni bolognese.

And the cannelloni stuffed with mozzarella!

[Garfield narrating] An hour of fattening foods.

Who wouldn't consider this must-see television?

Amazingly, the guy who ran the TV station.

[Mr. Gourmand] This food is just to die from.

It sure is!

All those calories.

All that cholesterol.

Right after the show, Eddie got the bad news.

But why?

Mr. Station Manager, sir, why?

Because people shouldn't be eating

the kind of fattening meals you encourage.

They should be eating what I eat:

vegan chicken made out of soybeans, brown rice,

organic sprouts, with a wheat germ shake mixed with goat's milk yogurt.

Uh, if I could just ask one tiny question.

Is any of this food?

[screaming] Of course, it's food!

It's good food, healthy food!

The kind of food that makes your body say:

"Thank you for taking such good care of me."

Well, I suppose if you melted some cheese over it and deep-fried it...

Gourmand! Do you know what people wind up

looking like when they eat the food you recommend?

No. What?

This!

[Garfield] And so, Eddie Gourmand was replaced.

[screaming]

The program normally seen in this time slot

"Simply Fabulous Dining with Eddie Gourmand"

will never be seen again.

So we can bring you this new,

much-better-for-you program.

Good evening.

Tonight, I'd like to talk to you about the benefits of eating tofu.

There are none.

[Garfield] And so, he was fired.

The guy took it hard.

This went on for days and days.

[Mr. Gourmand crying]

Here you go, Mr. Gourmand.

One nice, hot Vito's special, just for you.

Oh, thank you, Vito.

That was the most delicious pizza I ever ate.

[laughing]

Then, maybe you mention Vito's Pizzeria on your show some time?

[Mr. Gourmand crying]

[Garfield] Finally, Eddie wound up where all people

who can't control their emotions wind up,

sitting behind me in a movie.

[Mr. Gourmand crying]

[all] Shhhh!

[Mr. Gourmand crying]

[Garfield] After the ruining the film and getting tears in my popcorn,

he apologized.

I've been like this since I lost my show, Mr. Arbuckle.

[Odie muttering sadly]

Feeling sorry for the guy, pup?

Yeah, me too.

I hope Jon doesn't do something foolish like invite him over for dinner.

Eddie, come over tonight and have dinner with us.

[screaming]

Oh, that would be too, too wonderful, Mr. Arbuckle.

Great. I'll even make my special recipe for meat loaf.

Hey, doesn't that poor guy have enough problems?

[Garfield] That evening, Jon learned why you should never invite

a food critic to your house.

Everything looks positively scrumpti-li-cious, Mr. Arbuckle.

Oh, this meat loaf looks good enough to eat.

Some of this and some of this.

And then I'll have this...

Oh, this is utterly divine!

[suction sound]

[machine g*n sound]

Odie, are you getting any food?

[gurgling]

Me neither.

Let's go.

Another good reason never to invite a food critic to dinner:

they tend to rate what they eat.

I give the meat loaf two stars.

The mashed potatoes needed more butter, so they get one star.

But four stars for the gravy!

Well, I'm glad you enjoyed the gravy.

You could have used more flour...

[screaming]

[splashing]

Who threw that banana peel on the walk?

Mr. Gourmand, are you all right?

No. Get me a doctor.

I'll call a doctor.

And some shrimp chow mein.

I'll call a Chinese restaurant.

And a large mushroom pizza with pepperoni on half.

I'll call Vito.

[Garfield] Amazingly, the doctor arrived before the shrimp chow mein

or the pizza.

Better keep him here until his foot heals.

How long do you think that will be, doctor?

Oh, not more than a few months. Goodbye.

[screaming] A few months?

Mr. Gourmand, wouldn't you be more comfortable at home

or in a nice hospital?

You take care of me, Mr. Arbuckle,

or I'll sue you for everything you own.

Except the cat.

Now, get me a grilled cheese sandwich.

One grilled cheese sandwich coming up.

[Mr. Gourmand] With potato chips. The ripple cut kind.

Ripple cut potato chips. Right.

And I want a pickle with that.

[Garfield narrating] That's how it started.

Then, it got worse.

[phone ringing and vibrating]

-Hello ? -[Mr. Gourmand] Arbuckle!

It's two minutes past five in the A.M.

And I'm waiting for my breakfast !

[stepping down the stairs]

Syrup. I must have syrup.

Eighteen kinds if you have them. If not, go out and buy them.

[Jon whining]

And I'd like eggs.

Fried, boiled, scrambled

and painted with lovely designs for Easter.

There was no food for me.

In short, Eddie had started to remind me of that greedy, impatient,

lazy creature.

What's it called?

Oh, right.

Me.

To make a healthy chocolate cake, use no chocolate.

Instead, we'll use organic yeast spores and granola.

Turn if off, turn it off!

Sorry, Mr. Gourmand.

I guess it upsets you to see the show that replaced yours.

That but mainly the sight of all that disgusting healthy food.

I can't stand healthy food!

The cat has an idea.

[Odie muttering]

[xylophone sounds]

Great show today, sir.

The latest ratings are in.

What? I only got a three rating?

Well, you only had three viewers.

As much as I might hate it,

I've got to get Eddie Gourmand back.

[Mr. Gourmand] Arbuckle! I want my dinner!

Arbuckle, bring me my dinner or I'll sue you!

Sorry, Mr. Gourmand. Here you go.

Ew! What is this ?

[Jon] It's an artificial chicken patty

made with artichoke flour and modified wheat grass.

When I asked for dinner, I should have specified food.

This is food.

It's all part of our new healthy living program.

Let's go, boys!

One, two! One, two!

One, two! One, two!

You can tell how desperate I am to get rid of Eddie.

I'm actually doing this.

Eddie, we're going to start you with a hundred sit-ups.

You'll do nothing of the sort.

And if you're not going to get my dinner,

I'm going to get it for myself.

[stomping]

I need a bacon cheeseburger with extra bacon,

extra cheese and extra burger!

Ah!

There's no food!

Wait, there's one thing to eat!

I'm saved!

It's... it's...

[crying] Vegetarian meat loaf!

[Garfield] Hup, two, three, four! Hup, two, three, four!

Ready for the fifty mile hike?

No, no!

I can't survive in this house any longer!

[slamming door]

Yeah, I just found the house.

He left the address in case anyone wanted to forward any burritos.

-Yeah, I've got to get him to come back! -[horn]

Mr. Station Manager, sir!

Eddie,

I want you to come back to your old job.

I've got to get out of here.

Does that mean you won't come back to the station?

Oh, no, no, no!

I'll be back on the air tomorrow!

It's just that right this minute,

I have an emergency need for a buffet!

Garfield! Your idea was brilliant.

Ideas are always brilliant when I'm the guy who has them.

Let's go celebrate!

I'm going to make everyone of your favourite foods, Garfield!

[Odie barking]

Mr. Arbuckle, I'm sorry he caused so much trouble for you.

That's fine.

Hey, Mr. Station Manager, sir...

Don't do it.

Would you like to join us for dinner?

He did it.

Thanks, but I don't eat this kind of stuff.

You know how many calories are in those steaks?

And the fat grams.

[smelling] I mean, it smells tempting.

Maybe one bite wouldn't hurt.

[swallowing]

You know what cholesterol can do to you?

And carbonated drinks?

I only drink...

Hey, this is good!

Arbuckle, give me some honey!

Right away!

And I'm going to try the French fries.

So, some catsup?

[Jon] Also right away.

And I don't see any steak sauce.

Steak sauce! I'll get it.

-[swallowing] -Déjà-vu all over again...

Looks like we're not getting anything to eat for the next few days.

[Odie muttering]

[manager] And blintzes!

The way my mother used to make them.

[Jon] I'll get your mother.

[manager] Any chocolate cream pie for dessert?

[upbeat music]